Chapter Twelve
All through dinner, Ryder couldn’t keep his damn eyes off Savannah no matter how hard he’d tried. There was no way Hawk and Banger didn’t notice it, and he braced himself for the ribbing that would follow when the men retreated to the den while the women cleaned up.
What the hell am I doing? I don’t need a woman and her boy to muddle up my life. He speared a piece of sausage with his fork and placed it in his mouth, chewing slowly. She’s a great kisser, I’ll give her that, but it’d be a lot easier for me to pay Brandi a visit next time I go to the clubhouse. Brandi. The memory of Savannah’s jealousy over the club girl made him chuckle.
“You want to let us in on it?” Banger asked.
Ryder looked at the Insurgents’ president and shook his head. “It’s nothing. Just thinking about something Brutus did earlier today.” He looked down at his plate and twirled the spaghetti around his fork.
“That’s why we should get a dog,” Cara said. “Braxton’s been dying for one, and I think it would be good for him to have a pet. It helps a child be responsible.”
“Can I have one, Daddy? Please … can I?” Braxton’s dark eyes sparkled.
“Harley loves Patches to death, doesn’t he?” Belle said, looking at Banger, who nodded.
Hawk shook his head slightly. “It seems like I’m being ganged up on.”
Ryder glanced at his buddy and it seemed like he was trying to suppress a smile. “I’ve always had a dog. It’s a good thing for a kid.” He picked up his beer, and his eyes locked with Savannah’s. Beautiful. Damn. She gets to me.
“Well … we’ll see,” Hawk replied, but Ryder knew that meant Braxton was probably getting a puppy for Christmas. When Cara leaned over and kissed Hawk deeply, a pain stabbed at Ryder’s heart. I almost had a family, but Dana crushed all that.
A slight nudge against his leg made Dana fly out of his mind, and he snapped his gaze to Savannah, who licked her lips while running her foot up and down his calf. Fuck, woman. Ryder shifted in his seat and adjusted his jeans the best he could without being caught with a burgeoning hard-on. Savannah had the uncanny skill of making him so damn hard whether she was around or not, and it made him feel like a damn teenager—raging hormones and all. Double fuck.
“Did you see the Christmas tree?” Timmy asked Savannah.
“Yes, it’s beautiful. Ryder’s promised to take us to get a tree later tonight,” Savannah answered.
Ryder’s muscles stiffened, Hawk choked on his beer, and Banger clucked his tongue. Triple fuck!
“That’s wonderful,” Cara replied.
“Are you going to Holly’s Christmas Trees?” Belle asked.
“They have gorgeous ones. That’s where we bought ours,” Cara chimed in.
“I’m not sure …” Savannah said. “Ryder?”
“Yeah, that’s where we’re going. Can you pass me another roll, Belle?” Ryder was stuffed to the gills, but he wanted the tree conversation to end, so he buttered the roll and forced it down his throat.
After dinner, Timmy, Braxton, and Harley ran off to play a video game with a curly-haired Isa toddling after them. Belle, Cara, and Savannah cleared the dishes and disappeared into the kitchen, and Hawk motioned Ryder and Banger to follow him to the den.
A fire crackled in the fireplace, and Hawk poured each of them a couple shots of whiskey. Ryder settled back on the leather couch while Hawk and Banger each sat down on the wing chairs.
“So you’re doing Christmas this year?” Banger asked, a twinkle in his eye.
Ryder took a sip of the premium whiskey. “Before you guys start your shit, I’m only doing this for Timmy. He’s only six fucking years old, and he’s away from his grandparents and cousins. I feel for the kid.”
“And the mom?” Hawk asked.
“She made the choice to leave, not Timmy.”
Banger set his tumbler down. “Let me get this straight. This sudden interest in decorating has everything to do with the boy and nothing to do with the sexy mom?”
“You got it.” Ryder downed the rest of his drink.
“What a load of shit,” Banger said while Hawk guffawed. “Just admit you got the hots for the mom. It’s natural as fuck. Two good-looking people.” Banger paused and looked intently at Ryder’s face. “Well … one good-looking person and one not so much, stranded in a cabin in a snowstorm. Hell, it’s right from one of those fuckin’ sappy movies Belle watches this time of year.”
Hawk busted out laughing, then stood up and brought the whiskey bottle over to fill up the glasses. “It’s okay to want to fuck her, dude. I see the way you’re both hot for each other. You deserve this.”
“Yeah, she’s hot and all, but she’s heading out soon after the beginning of the year,” Ryder said.
“Then have some fun until she does. You never know what may happen,” Hawk replied.
“And this is coming from a man who fought falling in love with Cara?”
“He’s got a point, bro.” Banger laughed.
Hawk scowled. “I’m just saying to go for it. You got this hot chick in your cabin who seems more than ready to spend some cozy nights with you. It fuckin’ beats the club girls.”
“Yeah … well … we’re just friends,” Ryder replied.
“Make it with benefits, and you’ve got a great holiday.” Hawk grinned.
Banger cleared his throat. “As fun as this shit is, we gotta talk serious now. We’ve got some assholes making noise in our territory. They call themselves the Twisted Kings. Skinless was at a dive bar …” He snapped his fingers.
“Brown Barrel,” Hawk said.
“… the Brown Barrel,” Banger continued, “and he saw these three fuckers wearing their colors. The prospect said what got him was that the bottom rocker said Colorado.” Banger’s face flushed red and his nostrils flared.
“What the fuck?” Ryder said. “Are they asking for trouble?”
“They’re asking for a beatdown, and if they keep it up, then their families will be visiting Horan’s Mortuary to pick out coffins,” Hawk replied.
“No one fuckin’ wears the Colorado property rocker in Insurgents’ territory.” Banger held out his glass and Hawk poured him another shot, then he tipped the bottle toward Ryder. Ryder shook his head, so Hawk put the bottle back on the table. “We gotta address this, pronto.” Banger leaned back in the chair.
“You need my help?” Ryder asked.
“If you want to be in on it. You told me a month ago that you’re itching to be involved in some of the club’s enforcement, so we could definitely use you. You want in?” Hawk asked.
Ryder slowly nodded, excitement weaving through him. It had been a long time since he’d done a mission with his brothers, and it would prove to him that he still had what it took to be an outlaw. “I’m in. When do we roll?”
“We wanna do it before Saturday. What about Wednesday?” Banger asked.
“Can’t—the fuckin’ tree lighting is Wednesday,” Hawk replied.
“That’s right. I don’t want Belle, Harley, Ethan, and Emily going alone to that. No fuckin’ way,” Banger said.
“Same with Cara and the kids. I gotta be there to make sure my family’s protected.” Hawk glanced at Ryder. “Are you doing the tree shit too?” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“Savannah said Cara had mentioned it.” Ryder rubbed the top of his thigh; his residual limb was hurting like a motherfucker.
“Is that a yes?” A full-blown smile broke out over Hawk’s smug face.
“Yeah, we’re going. Fuck, dude,” Ryder answered.
“Then we’ll move on Thursday. The prospect said these three assholes hang out at that bar from Thursday through Saturday. Chas, Wheelie, and Animal are gonna find out how many of these bastards are playing MC. We’ll just introduce ourselves to the fuckers at the bar. The way they’re gonna look after we’re done with them will be the warning to the other ass-wipes.” Banger glanced at his phone.
“How many of us are going?” Ryder asked, his adrenaline already starting to pump.
“Figure eight of us should do the trick. Maybe ten, in case some shit happens that we aren’t expecting. Hawk will get the posse rounded up tomorrow, and we’ll meet at the clubhouse before heading over to the dive. Sound good?” Ryder nodded along with Hawk. “Good.” Banger stood up. “I gotta get going. I promised Ethan I’d take him and his friends skiing in the morning. The shit we do for our kids.” Banger laughed as he headed out of the room.
Gritting his teeth, Ryder stood up. “I better go too.”
“Yeah, you got a tree to pick out.” Hawk playfully smacked him on the back. “You okay, bud? You need some aspirin?”
“I’m good. It’s just been a long day. Thanks, bro.”
After they said their goodbyes, Ryder found himself doing something he never thought he would—going to buy a Christmas tree. He’d given up on holiday cheer after Dana had left him and took Colt with her. Even though he acted disinterested and downright gruff, he smiled inside when he saw how excited Timmy was from picking out a tree.
“Make sure you got enough stuff to decorate that big tree,” he said to Timmy, who pointed at a large one.
“Ryder’s right, honey. Let’s get one that’s a bit smaller.” Savannah walked over to a six-foot Douglas fir. “This one is nice.” Timmy rushed over and jumped up and down in place, making Ryder laugh.
Snowflakes floated down from the cloud-laden sky, dancing and swirling as a cold wind carried them toward the trees and the customers. Savannah tugged on Ryder’s scarf, wrapping it closer around his neck then buttoning up the top of his leather jacket. It was the same thing his mother would have done, and for some reason, Savannah’s thoughtfulness pissed him off. It angered the hell out of him because deep beneath the steel casing of his heart and his rough exterior, her gesture touched some starving part of him, the part that needed the warm and loving arms of a woman he could call his own. It had nothing to do with fucking; it had everything to do with need.
After Dana had shattered his heart, he swore he’d never again care about another woman, but Savannah stirred up feelings inside him that had been dormant for over six years. Ryder couldn’t remember the last time he’d encountered that swell of emotion as he did with Savannah. It was crazy as hell—he’d only known her for ten days—yet his feelings were real, as much as he didn’t want to admit it to anyone, even himself.
“Nice choice,” the cashier said cheerfully as he pulled his cap down over his ears. “That’ll be ninety-five dollars—seventy-five for the tree and twenty for the stand.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Ryder saw Savannah opening her purse, so he grabbed her hand.
“I’ll get it,” he said.
“Definitely not. We’re the ones who wanted the tree. I insist on paying.” She pulled her hand away.
“Leave it be, woman.” His voice brooked no argument, stopping the mad rush for her wallet, because she just stared at him and let her purse hang loosely from her shoulder.
Ryder paid the man then hauled the tree over to the jeep. One of the lot boys rushed over and helped him secure it, and in no time, they were headed back to the cabin. Timmy and Savannah chattered the whole drive, and by the time Ryder had opened the garage door, the snow was falling at a very fast clip.
“Let me help you with that,” Savannah said, sliding out of the vehicle.
“I’ve got it. Go inside with Timmy and get warm.”
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”
He grunted and threw her a stern look, and then satisfaction settled on his face when she turned around and walked into the house.
After setting up the tree in front of the picture window, Ryder popped a pain pill into his mouth and sat down on the couch. If he were alone, he’d take off his leg and massage capsaicin cream on his sore stump, but there was no way he was doing that in front of Savannah. Silly? Perhaps, but after Dana had spewed all that hurtful shit, it made him feel like he wasn’t the man he used to be. It took Ryder a few years to shirk off that notion, and he didn’t want to go back to that dark place again if Savannah looked at him with disgust in her eyes. I’m probably being stupid as fuck. She hasn’t even mentioned that night I lost it. That had earned her major points from him, but actually seeing him without his leg was another thing entirely, at least that’s the way he felt about it.
“Timmy was so exhausted that he fell fast asleep. He had such a great day. Thanks for helping to make that happen,” she said.
Savannah was beaming, literally glowing with excitement. Ryder’s heart tripped over itself at the sight of her blonde hair in loose waves around her shoulders, with no makeup, and wrapped in a green robe that hugged all her curves. It took every ounce of restraint not to scoop her up in his arms and whisk her off to the bedroom. Damn, he wanted her. Ryder couldn’t remember ever wanting anyone as much as he wanted Savannah at that moment.
“I’m going to make some hot chocolate. Do you want some?”
“You’re fucking obsessed with that drink.” He chuckled.
She giggled. “I am—I never realized it. Although I think tonight I’ll try it your way with a shot of whiskey.”
“In that case, I’ll have one too, but make it a double shot.”
“You’re so bad.” She ran her fingers through his hair, and he grasped her hand and kissed it.
“You look beautiful,” he said, his voice thick.
Savannah withdrew her hand gently and smiled. “You’re good for my ego.” He watched while she padded away, groaning as her hips swayed just right in the sexy-as-shit robe.
Actually, it was just a standard flannel robe that he wouldn’t even have looked at twice, but the way it clung around her curves got his dick punching against his jeans. He tossed a throw pillow on his lap and shook his head and smiled. Damn that woman.
When she came back, she put his mug on the end table next to him, and hers on the coffee table. The front of her robe fell open, and he heard her suck in a breath. There was a pause then the slightest quirk to the corner of his mouth as his gaze fixed on the edges of her lacy bra. Savannah quickly pulled the robe together and tied the sash tighter before she sat down.
Ryder grasped Savannah’s arm and jerked her to him, his mouth smothering her words as he kissed her hungrily. He just couldn’t get enough of her tempting lips and addictive scent as her body pressed against his—he couldn’t get enough of her.
They kissed for a while until Savannah pulled away.
“The cocoa is gonna get cold,” she whispered, pushing her robe together again. As soon as she leaned over, the robe fell open at the bottom and revealed her shapely leg, which made Ryder press the pillow down further onto his lap.
His eyes stayed glued to the flexing muscles of her calf until she cleared her throat, and when his gaze snapped up, he noticed a flush of pink crawling across her cheeks. He’d been staring at her again. Fuck! There was something about Savannah that had him so damn off-center. She picked up her mug from the table then sank back against the couch. After carefully tucking her legs under her ass, she took a sip of the hot chocolate. Ryder watched her movements as they played havoc with his dick and roused his desire even more.
Savannah put her drink down and Ryder reached over and drew her to him. He lowered his lips to hers for a sweet, lingering kiss, just to enjoy how warm and soft they felt on his. She tasted like sugar and cocoa, and it took every ounce of willpower to break away.
“That was nice,” she said softly, picking up the mug again. “Aren’t you going to take a sip?” She pointed to his mug.
He picked it up and licked the froth from his lips. “Damn, that’s good.” The pillow had fallen to the floor, and his gaze followed hers as it landed on his noticeable hard-on. Savannah looked away quickly and fumbled with the robe’s sash.
“Don’t mind me, darlin’. A gorgeous woman just kissed me.” He took another sip then stretched out his legs.
“Uh … can I ask you something personal?”
Ryder stiffened. There’s no way I’m talking about Afghanistan or Dana. Not tonight.
As if sensing his discomfort, Savannah tilted her head to the side and scrunched her face. “I don’t mean to be nosy or anything, but since we’ve been … you know … kissing, I wanted to know some things about you.”
Brandi—that’s what she wants to know. He relaxed. “Go ahead and ask.” He watched as she squirmed and then tugged at the sash of her robe before she fixed her gaze on the table lamp behind him.
“Do you and Brandi date? You told me she’s a club girl, but I’m not sure what that means. She seemed really into you, and you weren’t exactly acting like a stranger.” Her gaze shifted to his.
“We’re friends with benefits sometimes. She lives at the Insurgents’ clubhouse, and she’s one of several women there who … have fun with the club members. It’s nothing serious at all. I’ve never taken her on the back of my bike.” Shrugging, he splayed his hands on his lap.
Savannah’s brows knitted as a look of confusion etched her face. “Is that a big deal to have a woman on the back of your bike?”
“Fuck yeah, woman. A lot of bikers don’t let just any chick on their bikes, only the ones who matter.”
“How many have you taken?” she asked softly.
“One, but that was a long time ago.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“How often do you and Brandi meet up?”
“Not that often. Sometimes she comes over here, but usually it’s when I go to the parties at the clubhouse. The brothers have parties like all the fucking time, but I only go once in a while. I like being alone.”
“What do the club girls do at the clubhouse?”
Ryder shook his head as he scrubbed his face. “Are you sure you wanna know? Most citizens don’t get it when they find out.”
“I’m presuming I’m a ‘citizen,’ but try me anyway.”
“They service my brothers here as well as brothers from our other chapters and different MCs. Even if there isn’t a party, they’re expected to be available whenever a brother wants them. The Insurgents don’t force a club girl if she doesn’t want to fuck, but it’s sorta one of the conditions in order to get free room and board and a monthly stipend. The girls want to be there. They choose that life.”
“I see.”
Ryder couldn’t read Savannah; he didn’t know if she was repulsed by what he said or what. “Are you disgusted?”
“No. Why would I be? Everyone knows the score. It’s not like a member forces himself on one of them. That would be disgusting and unconscionable.”
He saw tears well up in her eyes, and she turned away, rubbing her eyes as if pretending that something was in them.
“Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Severity had crept into her voice.
“I hope I didn’t upset you. I want you to know that Brandi was nice to me after all the shit went down with my leg. It took me a long fucking time to even think about being with a woman, but we don’t have any feelings other than friendship.”
“I think she likes you a little more. I could tell by the way she looked at me.”
Ryder reached over and held Savannah’s hands. “I don’t want you thinking that you gotta compete with her because since I laid eyes on you, I haven’t thought about her for one fucking second. She came here because she wanted to know why I hadn’t come over to the club. I told her I was interested in you, and I am. I know it’s crazy, but I feel something for you even though we’ve only known each other less than two weeks.”
“It’ll be two weeks tomorrow,” she whispered. “I feel something for you too, and I keep telling myself that this whole thing between us is insane. I’ve never been one to act recklessly.”
“Maybe playing it too careful is making us both miss out on something great. I don’t know, but I do know you’re driving me fucking nuts, darlin’, and it pisses me off.”
Savannah laughed. “What I’m feeling for you pisses me off too.”
Chuckling, Ryder scooted over and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her close as he leaned back against the couch. She rested her head on his chest, and he inhaled the vanilla scent of her shampoo while his fingers played with her hair, lightly sifting through and entwining the strands around them. Her hair’s so damn soft—like satin or velvet. Fuck.
“This is nice,” she murmured.
“Yeah.” He thought about asking Savannah why she’d run away from her husband, and if she was going back after she got whatever it was out of her system, but he didn’t want the answer to that, at least not right then. He had no desire to find out whether he was a rebound, and that she possibly could be heading back to Boston to rekindle her love with the man she’d married.
Not now.
That night, Ryder simply wanted to take all of her in—from her tantalizing scent, quiet breaths, and silky hair, to her sweet taste and natural beauty.
Even though she was a strong woman, there was a vulnerability and frailty about her that seduced him.
Despite the fact that his whole body raged with a burning desire and lust for Savannah, Ryder wasn’t going to push her. He wanted her to open up to him.
He could wait.
He was a patient man.
Deeper breaths accompanied by light snores made him smile as he looked down at Savannah’s peaceful face. He dipped his head down and lightly brushed his lips over hers, then tightened his arm around her shoulder and stared into the slowly dying fire.