Walking with Ben through his garden I breathe in the sweet scent of organic strawberries. “It’s so peaceful and beautiful here. I didn’t realize how little time I’ve spent in nature lately, until now. They smell so good.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Meeting Ben’s concerned eyes I exhale and answer, “I have until the end of the month to vacate my apartment.”

“Let me loan you the money.”

Moved, I touch his hand. “I can’t let you do that.”

“I want to.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t take a loan from you. I’m too proud, Ben. But thank you.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“My parent’s house for a little while. They’re in Decatur so it’s not that bad.”

“Nice,” he mutters, his mind working as he raises his gaze to the sun. “It’s about noon. You ready for the lunch I promised you?”

“Mmhmm.”

We head back to his modest home and again I sense that he wants to hold my hand. I lean down to pick a strawberry, to put a little space between us, hoping it’s not too obvious how nervous I am.

I accepted his invitation knowing that today we’d probably kiss, since we didn’t after dinner a couple nights ago. I’d avoided that, too. But I can’t forever.

Watching him stroll through rows of fruit and vegetables I wonder why I’m still holding onto a man who doesn’t want me when there’s one right here who does. Ben is kind and attentive. His body is incredible. His smile, charming and sincere. He’s so muscular, far more than Gabriel is, because Ben works on a farm. He built that shed over there! I mean, his shoulders are amazing, and the way those jeans fit, any girl would jump on his back and ride him all the way up to his bed.

So why do I feel sick?

This is wrong.

I have to go.

The sound of his phone vibrating causes both of us to look at his pocket as he checks it, and slides it away again.

“Who was that?”

“Nobody.” But his eyes are troubled as he leads the way up three steps to an open porch that’s half complete. “I’m building this to be like the one my parents have. Our houses are different, Dad converted a barn, but I miss the enclosed porch. Figured I have the time to make it my own.”

“Those are the best. My grandparents had one.”

He holds the door open so I can enter his home first. Looking around I admire his simple décor. There’s a lot of iron complementing pine and it needs a woman’s touch, but it’s homey.

“It’s great, Ben.”

“Let me give you a tour,” he smiles, heading for stairs up ahead. I set my purse down on the coffee table and follow him up. “This is the first bedroom. I’m using it as guest room now for when my cousins visit.”

Walking inside I run my fingertips along the goose down comforter. “I bet they love this in the winter.”

He laughs, “You can’t get Eric out of it!” Off my expression, Ben leads me out into the hall and explains, “He’s a Quarterback for the Falcons. Let me guess, you don’t watch sports or the news.”

“Because I would have known who he was from his last name, huh.”

“Exactly,” Ben smirks. “Kinda hard to miss the name Cocker in this town. We’re everywhere. Here’s the guest bathroom.” He doesn’t pause to let me see it. “And here’s my room.”

I watch him enter without hesitation.

I really want to run back down those stairs.

But that would be extremely rude.

Walking in, I glance around a bedroom that is as comfortable as a teddy bear’s tummy. His bed also has a goose down blanket, but it’s king sized and adorned with eight feather pillows. There are two overstuffed, brown corduroy chairs by an empty fireplace, a round table between them that is just begging me to set a book on it so I can reach for some hot cocoa on a cool night.

He’s pleased with my expression.

I glance to the master bathroom door and ask, “May I?”

He waves an arm, “Go right ahead.”

“Look at this huge shower!” I cry out as I take in the stonework. “Did you do this?”

“I did,” he smiles as he takes up the entire doorframe.

“These rooms are perfect.”

“Glad you think so, Paige.”

His tone hits me hard and I meet his eyes, seeing the change in him. This is the moment I could walk into his arms.

I could cuddle into him.

Forget I ever met Gabriel.

Forget all about Bobby.

Shelby.

I could just disappear into this farm.

Never go back.

Ben and I stare at each other. “Gosh, I’m hungry. You?” I laugh as I squeeze by him and head for the stairs.

My phone is ringing.

Ben is walking behind me, but at a much slower pace like he’s figured out this won’t go the way he wants it to.

“Someone’s calling,” I lamely say, happy for a distraction. But a long, weird number on the screen makes no sense to me. “What’s this?”

Narrowing his eyes, Ben says, “Europe.”

“I don’t know anyone there. Is it a scammer?”

The call goes to voicemail. Then his rings. He pulls it out and frowns at it.

My blood pumps faster as I realize what might be happening. He hasn’t once called me so it didn’t occur to me that it could be him, but now with the European phone number thing and the way Ben’s frowning I ask the thing I’m most afraid to. Because what would this mean? “It’s Gabriel, isn’t it?”

On a sigh Ben nods and lets it go to voicemail, too. “Hey, I know he got under your skin but he’s just a kid.”

“He’s my age.”

In a move of stubbornness or ego, Ben pulls me to him and wraps me in his arms. Shocked I gaze up at him as he says, “He won’t make you happy. I want you to give me a little more time here.”

“Ben, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m wishing you were him.”

He releases me like I stabbed him, backing away and running a hand through his sand-colored hair.

“Holy shit, ouch.”

“I’m sorry, but it felt like you were about to kiss me and...”

“Wow. Just stop.” He turns to the wall and lays his hands on it, head down.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have come here but…”

“Why did you?”

“I was weak I guess. And you’re so strong.”

“You’re going to regret choosing Gabriel.”

Anger flashes through my chest. “Don’t talk about him like that. First of all you don’t even know me. I think you’re just looking for someone and I happened to be there at the right time. There’s no way this was supposed to work between us because I don’t feel that way about you. I just don’t. So whatever you think is happening, it’s misplaced.” Picking up my purse I whisper, “Goodbye Ben.”

He pushes off the wall to walk me out. I really wish he would’ve stayed there and stopped being such a gentleman. It would make this so much easier if he were a jerk.

As I walk outside I can feel him staring at me like he can’t believe this is how our lunch date is ending.

Glancing back I offer an apologetic smile.

Tipping his head in goodbye, Ben crosses his arms and stands in the doorframe until I drive away.