Spinning slowly around in front of the mirror in a skintight, black mini-dress she bought today, Sofia whistles. “Look at me! I’m fucking hot!”

I adjust my size D breasts – thank you, Mom – in the turquoise mini-dress I bought and sigh. “I hope he doesn’t want you.”

She eyes me. “That Joe-fuckhead really did a number on you.”

“Am I being weird?”

“Cut it the fuck out! My Hannah, the one who for my entire life I’ve looked up to figuratively and literally,” She motions to my height. “She’s a fucking goddess and knows it!”

“I don’t know what’s happened to me,” I mumble to my reflection. “I get emotional so easily lately.”

She combs her hair with steady fingers, meeting my eyes in the reflection. “You’re almost thirty.”

“You think that’s it?”

“The Ciphers men tease me and Celia all the time that when we turn thirty we’ll lose our minds. Wanting babies like it’s gotta happen yesterday. Clock’s ticking. Bang bang bang. Blah blah blah. Celia’s already like that and she’s got a few years to go. So you’re probably just getting all jiggy down in here.” Sofia lays her hand over my belly button.

“You need your nails done.”

“I don’t care about frilly things like that,” she mutters, pulling her hand up to look at her fingertips with indifference.

“Yeah, you can’t tell.”

“Ha! Sarcasm detected.” Her phone buzzes on the hotel nightstand.

I’m tugging at my dress. “We have to go soon. Let it ring.”

“It’s Emma again, probably.” Sofia launches herself on the bed and reaches for the phone like Superman.

I don’t bother telling my feral cousin her thong is showing.

She wouldn’t care.

But it’s a good thing she prefers jeans or she’d be doing a lot more self-defense, fighting off unwanted advances from guys who’d mistake some of her actions as invites.

“Yep! Emma just texted: If Hannah doesn’t call me right now I’m never talking to either of you again.” Tossing the phone at me, Sofia says, “Call her.”

I catch it and stare at my hand. “I think the training’s helping my reflexes! Did you see that?”

Emma shouts into my ear, “Sofia, I love you but get Hannah on the phone right now!”

“It’s me, Emm.” I roll my eyes at Sofia for dialing the phone and not warning me.

“What the fuck, Hannah!? You said you were coming back three days ago.”

“We keep changing our minds.”

She growls, “I’m so jealous it’s not even funny,”

“You done whining?”

“I don’t whine!” she shouts.

Stretching my jaw to recover hearing loss I ask, “So…are you going to fly out here and join us yet or what?”

Emma goes silent.

I can picture her pacing. She might have clients, open houses. After a moment she snaps, “I’ll book a flight and call you right back with the details.” As soon as the phone goes dark it lights up again, ringing in my hand.

“Hello?”

“What airport?”

“Fort Lauderdale? I don’t know.”

Sofia’s legs are scissoring the air as she lies on her back and shouts, “Yes! That’s the closest airport, Emma!”

Emma pauses, writing it down. “Okay, then what? I rent a car or something to get to you guys?”

“Soph, how do we get Emma from Lauderdale to Boca?”

Kicking her legs she calls out, “Run, Emma, Run!”

“Ha ha,” Emma dryly retorts.

Sofia cups one unmanicured hand over her mouth and shouts, “I’ll come get you on my motorcycle!”

Emma squeals and hangs up.

I toss the phone back to my cousin who effortlessly catches it without looking.

“See, it is the training,” I smile, excited for my future. I want to be that smooth.

We both go for our shoeboxes and pull new high heels on, mine a much larger size than my five-foot-five-inch cousin.

“I’m bummed she’s coming tomorrow.”

This totally confuses me. “Don’t you want her here?”

“Of course!” Sofia rolls her eyes. “I just wish she could come here now.”

“Aww, you’ve gotta tell her. You never say anything that sweet.”

“It’s not sweet!” She starts dancing on an invisible pole. “I won’t have anything to do when you and Tobias are getting it on! MMM! Oh Tobias! I want you to wrestle me, baby! Show me how you work that thang!”

I shove her on the bed and head into the pretty bathroom, casually saying over my shoulder, “I’m not that interested in sex.”

She chases me down, staring at my profile as I squeeze paste on my soft-bristle toothbrush, to demand, “What did you just say?! What the fuck did you just fucking say?”

Shrugging one shoulder I blandly ask, “Isn’t sex always a let down?”

I’m curious if I’m alone in this, that’s why I’m pretending to be so blasé when inside I’m anything but. Sex has always disappointed me. I’ve yet to be blown away by any of it, yet a part of me has a hunger that is waiting to be satisfied. I’m starting to believe it might be best to tell it there will never be a feast, so start enjoying the crackers and crumbs more.

Sofia jumps up to sit on the bathroom counter, getting in my face to inform me, “You haven’t been with a real man, Hannah!”

“Well, I don’t know about that but I’ve been with plenty of guys.”

“How many?”

“Six. No, seven.”

“Is that your real number,” she purrs.

Staring at my toothbrush I think about it then meet her eyes. “Yes.”

“How many have given you the big O?”

Brushing my molars, I hold up one finger, my pinky.

She sighs, leaning back. “What kind of orgasm are we talking about here? The lightly-rumbling-meh ones or the holy shit I’m holding onto anything solid for dear life, kind?”

Spitting foam into the sink I tell her, “The first one.”

“From sex?”

“Fingers mostly.”

“Fingers?!” Sofia cries out, aghast. “What about tongue?”

“One time tongue. It’s so hard to relax.”

“No it isn’t, honey. When a guy knows what he’s doing and you’re into him all that self-conscious bullshit goes out the window because it feels so good! What about from just fucking? Any O’s from intercourse?”

Applying light pink lipstick I shrug, still hiding my ever-growing curiosity, “I think that’s a myth.”

“It’s not a myth. Hannah, no! You poor thing!”

I turn on her and bark, “I’m not a poor thing! Don’t talk to me that way!”

My cousin’s grey eyes sharpen and a slow smile appears. “There she is. That’s my Hannah. Wondered where you went.”

“Stop it, Soph.”

“No. I won’t fucking stop it.” She jams her finger toward me, leaning in. “Don’t go back into hiding.”

“I’m not hiding from anything!” I try to get out of the bathroom but she jumps off the counter like a cheetah and bars my way.

“What are you? Say it loud and proud!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do! Are you a victim?”

“No!”

“A blender?” Off my look she explains with passion in her voice. “Do you blend in? Are you just some average girl afraid to make waves, Hannah Cocker?”

“No!”

“Then what are you!!!”

“I’m a fucking goddess goddammit!!!”

Sofia slices her index finger through the air between us and backs out of the bathroom finally freeing me as she happily says, “Damn straight! You’re a goddess, and don’t you ever forget it again. I’m scared of you right now. And I love to be scared of you! Now let’s go see this Tobias monster kick some sweet UFC fighting ass!”

I jab my finger at her this time, these heels making me six-two. “He’s mine! Hands off. I’m not kidding.”

Sofia’s mouth twists into a grin. “Oh, honey.” She flips around, sauntering the length of the hotel’s bedroom with her arms rising as she shouts to an imaginary audience, “Hannah has returned! Watch out, Tobias! Watch the fuck out!”