There wasn’t enough sex,” Darla complained, leafing through the pages of their latest book club selection.
“Of course there wasn’t.” Jessa sighed, sharing a martyred look with Cassidy. “Because it’s a historical thriller. Not erotica.”
“Well, it lost my attention around page twenty.” Darla set the book on the table and folded her hands primly.
Everyone glanced at Naomi, as if waiting to hear her thoughts, but she’d busied herself with refilling wineglasses. Given everything that had been going on lately, she hadn’t exactly had a chance to read the book. Not to mention…she had other things on her mind. Big things. Like how do you explain to your ten-year-old daughter that the man you love spent time in prison?
“Can I get anyone another brownie?” she offered, deflecting the curious stares with a smile. It was a futile attempt to derail the questions rising in their eyes. She loved hosting book club, even on a Monday night. Loved having these women sit around her dining room table sipping wine and eating chocolate while they talked books with the low hum of Adele in the background. When Naomi hosted, they always waited until after Gracie was in bed to gather, seeing as how Darla like to discuss sex scenes in great detail.
But tonight Naomi had nothing to contribute. She wished things were different. Less complicated. She wished Lucas could’ve stayed; that they could’ve made out on the couch and then gone into her bedroom. She wished he could’ve spent the night…
“Something happened with Lucas.” Cassidy tossed her book down on the table, as though she’d much rather discuss that. “Something big.”
That woman’s intuition was otherworldly.
“Ohhhhh…something sexual?” asked Darla. “Because it’s about damn time.”
“No.” Naomi infused the word with a desperate shush. “Nothing sexual.” Unfortunately.
Everyone scooted their chairs closer to the table and leaned in as if they’d just remembered there was a child in the house. Each of their eyebrows raised in a silent demand for her to continue.
“I mean, it’s not for lack of desire.” Nope, that was definitely not the problem. Her body was revving just recalling the fishing experience. She’d never thought she could like fly fishing so much…
“So what is it, then?” Jessa prompted.
A sigh gave her up. “I don’t know how to do this. With Gracie. Especially now. With Mark coming back and so many changes.” The enormity of it all rattled her again, bringing a familiar tremble of fear. She’d always been so careful, so guarded, and everything about Lucas made her want to kick in those walls. But there was a lot at stake. And not only for her, either.
“Honey.” Darla reached across the table and covered her hand with her graceful, slender fingers. “That girl is more resilient than you give her credit for.”
“Yeah,” Cass agreed. “She’s got you for a mom. And you’re the most resilient woman I know.”
Warm tears seeped into her eyes. “Tonight she asked Lucas where he’s been all these years, and I wouldn’t let him answer.” She wanted to protect him, too, but still. He probably thought she was embarrassed by him.
“What are you afraid of?” Jessa asked. “If you tell her the truth?”
“That she won’t accept him. That she’ll be scared of him.” That she wouldn’t want him to be a part of their lives. Naomi didn’t think she could bear that. Because Gracie deserved to have some say in who she let into their lives.
“But you love him,” Darla said. It wasn’t a question. “And if there’s one thing I do know about love, it’s that you can’t wait.” She leaned over the table, her eyes emphatic. “You’ve already lost too many years with him, Naomi. Don’t lose any more time.”
The urgency in her friend’s wise eyes tempted her to dig out her phone and call him right then. She didn’t want to wait. Couldn’t stand the thought of losing more time. “I want to be careful. To give Gracie time to adjust.” Her daughter deserved that.
“You don’t have to have everything figured out this minute,” Jessa said gently. “Most of us are figuring things out as we go.”
“Besides,” Cass added. “It seems to me Lucas has already won Gracie over.”
“You’re right.” Of course they were right. She’d handled the news about Mark so well. If she could forgive Mark for being gone ten years, surely she could forgive Lucas for making a mistake when he was high school “I’ll find a way to tell her soo—”
Jessa’s phone started blaring a Madonna concert. Humming along to “Like a Prayer,” her friend held up a finger, signaling for them to give her a minute. “This is Jessa,” she said politely.
The woman was the only person Naomi knew who answered her phone even when she didn’t recognize the number, but in a way she was always on call. No one ever knew when there’d be an animal emergency.
This time instead of her calm, professional response, a sharp gasp made her eyes bulge. “I’m sorry. What?”
Naomi exchanged looks with Cassidy and Darla.
“What did they do?” Jessa squawked, clearly taken aback.
“Uh-oh,” Darla muttered. “That can’t be good.”
“Of course,” their friend murmured into the phone. Her face was flushed. “Yes, I understand. I’ll be right there.”
She clicked off the phone and stared at it.
“I take it that wasn’t an animal emergency?” Cassidy asked.
“Um. Not exactly.” Jessa glanced at Naomi. “It was Dev Jenkins. Lance and his brothers are down at the station.”
Naomi choked on a sip of wine. “Station as in police station?”
“That’d be the one.” Jessa rose from her chair. “There was some kind of fight at the Tumble Inn. He didn’t say much, just that I could come and pick them up.”
“Hot damn!” Darla popped out of her chair. “What’re we waiting for? Field trip! Not that discussing historical thrillers isn’t interesting,” she quickly added. “But I do love the sight of a man in uniform.” And she also loved teasing poor Dev about how much she loved the sight of a man in uniform.
Cassidy stood, too, gathering her purse.
“We’re all going?” Jessa asked, as though that might not be the best idea.
“Hell yeah.” Cass led the way down the hall. “I wouldn’t miss a chance to see Levi Cortez behind bars.”
Naomi followed behind them all, swallowing against the nausea that was brewing. How had this happened? “Is Lucas okay?” she asked, shoving her shoes onto her feet.
“I don’t know.” Jessa opened the front door in a hurry. “I assume they’re okay or we’d be picking them up at the hospital.”
“I’m sure they’re fine. Just men being boys.” Darla sped past them. “Cass and I’ll meet you there,” she called happily.
“You okay?” Jessa asked Naomi as they made their way down the porch steps.
No. She wasn’t okay. Lucas would hate this. Instead of following Jessa to her car, she headed in the opposite direction. “I’ll be right behind you. I have to ask Luis if he can sit with Gracie.”
Without mentioning to the man why.
* * *
Naomi made it to the station just as Jessa led a silent sulking parade out the doors.
“Hey.” She hurried over to Lucas, taking both of his hands in hers, not caring that they had an audience.
“Hey.” His face was stone, but everything looked intact, minus a slight red swelling in his bottom lip.
“Everything okay?” she asked cautiously while the others spread out, farther down the sidewalk.
“Gil decided not to press charges.” His flat response didn’t answer the question.
Darla and Cassidy broke away from the group. “Well, folks, it’s been fun, but we have to say good night.”
“Thanks for the entertainment,” Cass said sweetly to Levi.
“I’ll provide you entertainment anytime.” A lift of his eyebrows added an innuendo, but Cassidy had already turned her back on him, likely pretending she hadn’t heard.
“You boys.” Jessa shook her head like a disappointed mother, but she still held Lance’s hand. “I’ll take you back to your car,” she muttered to Levi, likely blaming the whole thing on him. She turned to Naomi. “I’m guessing you’ll bring Lucas home?”
“Of course.”
Lucas stayed quiet as they all parted ways.
Though she walked more slowly than normal, he followed her to the car at a distance. She unlocked the doors and they both climbed in.
When he still said nothing, she turned to face him, holding the keys tightly in her fist. “So what happened?”
He stared out the windshield. “Got into it with Marshal Dobbins.”
“Why?” she asked, shoving the keys into the ignition. The engine started up, but she didn’t pull away from the curb. “Why did you let him get to you?” Lucas was always so steady. So mellow. He didn’t go after someone for no reason.
“He knew what to say.”
She carefully studied his face. “He said something about me.” She didn’t have to ask. Of course he had. He knew that was the only way to get a reaction out of Lucas.
“Did you hurt him bad?” she asked, hoping the answer was no. Not that the man didn’t deserve it, but she didn’t want Lucas to get in trouble on her account. Dobbins wasn’t worth that.
“Nah. He’s not hurt. Dev’s making him spend the night to sober up, though.” His jaw seemed to loosen. “At least the witnesses vouched for us.”
“I’m sorry.” She covered his hand with hers, entranced by the feel of his skin. “It doesn’t matter what he says about me, you know. I don’t care.”
“He was looking for a fight and he got one.” Lucas pulled his hand away. “And it won’t be the last time, either.” He gazed down at her, worried and angry. “He’s only gonna make it harder for me. And for you, too.”
“I’m not worried about it.” She didn’t need him to protect her or defend her honor. She only needed him to love her.
“The last thing I want is for him to mess up your life.” Lucas’s voice had softened the way it always did when he talked to her.
“He can’t.” She placed her hands on his cheeks and tugged his face closer to hers. “No one will mess this up for us. Not this time,” she whispered, her breath on his lips. “We won’t let them.” She kissed him, light and sweet, to remind him what they were fighting for, and immediately lost herself in the rhythm of their lips moving together. He pulled her closer against him, deepening the kiss, brushing his tongue over hers in that electrifying heat. God, she’d always been so afraid to let herself think about him, about this…It was so new and exhilarating but familiar and comfortable at the same time.
His body seemed to thaw against her, that rigid tension from earlier falling away. “Your car is so small,” he complained, sneaking his hands up her shirt.
“So small,” she echoed, slumping over as his fingers moved over her bra. “We could always go to a hotel.”
His head tilted as he looked her over. “Who’s watching Gracie?”
“Your dad.” And she’d told him she’d be right back.
“We’ll do it another time,” he promised. “Another time when no one’s expecting us and we can just be together for hours.” He kissed her. “Or days.” Another kiss. “Or weeks.”
Pulling back, he withdrew his hands and searched her eyes. “You’re sure? About all of this? About us? Because it’s not gonna be easy in this town.”
Who wanted easy anyway? “I love you, Lucas.” She’d told him that in high school more than once, but she hadn’t known then what it meant. Not really. She hadn’t known until she’d lived so many years without him. Years of learning about life and heartbreak, and depths of joy and pain she hadn’t known existed. Now she could say it and mean it and know it was true.
“I love you, too,” Lucas uttered, resting his forehead against hers. “I’ve always loved you.” Concern still lingered in the soft tenderness of his eyes. “I just hope that’s enough.”