Chapter 4

CARSON

 

For a few moments, I forgot the position we were in until his hand around my waist began to burn through my blouse. I straightened then with a little help from his now slightly damp shoulders, and found my balance again, embarrassed to be caught in such a pitiable position every single time we met.

How was he here though? I wondered, worry seeping into my heart. Had he followed me?

“Let’s have coffee,” he said, and my refusal was automatic.

The streets were now empty as the rain came down hard, but my sights were set on a cab. I had a job now and could afford the luxury.

I started to walk away so that I could hail one, but he suddenly grabbed onto my wrist and began to pull me into the nearest coffee shop. I tried to resist but a few moments later I found my drenched self seated across from him in a small but brightly lit pastel-themed coffee shop.

“What do you want to drink?” he asked, but I found myself unable to meet his eyes.

“Nothing,” I responded. “I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Go to the restroom and dry yourself off a bit.”

He stood up and walked to the counter after his instructions and I thought about what to do. The embarrassment that was beginning to flush over my cheeks from the train wreck I currently looked like forced me up and on my way to the restroom.

Only when I got to the restroom did I realize that my white blouse had been soaked through and that the plain black bra underneath was silhouetted to the world.

I gasped at the exposure and immediately hurried over to the hand dryer. I could only use it for a few moments at a time to allow others who just needed a few seconds to dry their hands. I ignored the strange looks that came my way but then when I realized that I would be leaving soon and back into the rain again anyway I gave up and returned back to the shop.

I saw him at the counter getting our drinks unto a tray and my heart stopped in my chest. His hair was damp too, but he had brushed it away from his face, and the camel coat he had on gave a regality to his frame that I couldn't overlook.

He caught me staring then as he turned around and nudged his head towards our seat.

The moment I arrived, I started to tell him that I was leaving but he shrugged off the coat and came over to place it around my shoulders. “The shoulders are a bit damp, but it will keep you warm,” he said. He sat down, the table unable to accommodate his long legs so he angled them away from the table, one knee crossed atop the other.

He picked up his phone then to answer a call, and I took my seat, the heavy coat drowning me in warmth and his scent. It was as familiar as the first day I had met him; musk and tobacco.

I found myself taking a sip of the steaming latte that he had brought me, my decision to leave long forgotten. I watched him as he spoke on the phone in a barely audible tone and took the chance to properly check him out. His dress shirt was finely tailored and tight, and it stuck to his broad and thoroughly toned chest. He wasn't brawny but the muscles and veins that bulged in his arm were enough to set me on fire. I wanted to touch him.

A cough escaped my lips at the thought, so I looked away and tried to get myself together.

“Are you alright?”

He asked, and I nodded without meeting his eyes. Then he just stared at me. I could feel his gaze almost burning through me until finally, I couldn't stand it anymore.

“Do you have something to say?” I asked, the offense apparent in my tone.

He picked up his cup of dark coffee and took a sip before responding to me. “Where would you like to work?” he asked and the question both surprised and embarrassed me.

I didn’t know what to say at first but then I just decided to speak my mind. “In a network producing a script that I wrote.” He seemed surprised at my response, and for a moment I thought I even detected pity in his eyes. I, therefore, felt obliged to add. “It is not a pitiful ambition. I will get there. Someday.”

“Perhaps,” he said and picked up his cup once more.

“Perhaps?”

He nodded. “Nothing in life is guaranteed. You might get there, or you might not.”

“I will,” I swore, and he held my gaze without blinking.

He nodded again. “I wish you all the best.”

I didn't know why I felt so offended, but I rose to my feet and shrugged his coat off. I let it fall into the chair and thanked him for his hospitality. I reached into my purse to retrieve a $10 bill and placed it on the table. It was more than my latte cost, but I wasn't going to act cheap before him.

“I have to leave now,” I told him and watched as he glared at the note on the table.

“You didn't ask any questions about me,” he said.

“I am sorry,” I apologized. “But I am in a place in my life where I cannot accommodate more. Whether it be people, or disasters, or disappointments. It’s too expensive.”

“Then what about a night?” he asked, and it stopped me cold.

I was almost too scared to turn around to face him. “Excuse me?”

“Can you accommodate me for a night?”

I didn't know how to respond, so I feigned offense, grabbed my purse, and walked out of the cafe. It was still raining so I stood at the canopied entrance and thought of what he had just said and how direct he had been. I wanted to go back in to tell him, yes but the voice of reason in my head convinced me that I had run mad. Leave, I told myself, but couldn't seem to take that step out into the rain. The events of the day and the assault behind the restaurant came back to me.

Nothing in life was truly guaranteed; not getting the job that I had that day, my safety from the pigs that roamed the world, and perhaps even my dream of success as a television writer and producer.

None of it was guaranteed. Perhaps Ida was right, perhaps I truly was too cautious when all I really ever had was right now.

I turned back to the shop to look at him through the window. Our gazes connected and before I knew what I was doing I was walking back into the cafe.

Out of habit I had been willing to keep waiting but for what I wasn't even sure anymore. Nothing in life was perfect and if I had learned anything in my years thus far, that was it. What I needed to do to keep going was to take what was available to me, and to make it as perfectly fitted towards my own circumstance as I could.

Right now he was available to me, and he was probably the sexiest and most ruggedly handsome man that I had ever laid eyes on. I was painfully attracted to him—that would do. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him over the last few weeks so now that we had met again, I deserved the chance to taste what he was like—without any regrets or expectations.

I stopped by the table and gazed down at him.

“Meet me in the women’s bathroom,” I said and walked away.

 

 

 

 

♡

XANDER

 

 

I watched her leave and found myself unwilling to rise.

What if this would be it?

What if this would truly be all that I would ever to receive from her?

The very direction of my thoughts frightened me, so I push the chair away harder than was needed and went after her. This was all that it was meant to be, and I was going to make it count. I wanted to take her to a more proper place, but something told me that my mere suggestion of it would bring whatever this was to an immediate end. It had to be solely on her terms.

So I went in and shut the door behind me.

It was then I realized that she hadn't even asked my name. I was about to take a step forward when her voice resounded softly across the small bathroom.

“Turn off the lights.”

“Why?” I asked. That was the last thing that I wanted. I wanted to remember her face and the fullness of the breasts that had refused to leave my mind over the past week.

“That’s my condition.”

That made me a little mad, but I abided by it.

“I’m in the first stall,” she said the moment it was pitch dark and I made my way over.

She pulled the door open for me, and I was led in.

“You can sit on the bowl,” she told me. “It’s covered.”

This was starting to get a little interesting, so I let her take the lead and did as I was told. Soon my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I was able to see her as clearly as I needed, however, her face was cast in an impenetrable shadow.

She inched towards me and then spread her legs so that she could sit astride me, while I kept my arms folded across my chest, buckled in for the show.

It was almost as though she wasn’t sure what to do.

“C-could you take off your pants?” she whispered.

I unfolded my arms and gave her free access. “You should handle that yourself.”

“I’d rather not,” she said. “I can’t see very well.”

“You don't need to see,” I told her. “Just feel.”

I watched as she sat astride me, her skirt bunched up to her thighs and felt her wet panties as they brushed against the front of my slacks.

I expected her to grind upon me, but she just sat there I thought that I would go mad with frustration.

She reached for my belt and begin to unbuckle it and I held my peace. She was clumsy with it either due to fear or inexperience, I wasn't sure to which to attribute her shyness. More than ever I wished that the lights were on so that I could read her face—every thought and concern that passed through those green eyes of hers.

She was eventually able to unbuckle the belt and every moment that passed all we could hear was the clang of metal and the hardening of our breathing.

She lightly brushed her hand down my shaft, and I sat up involuntarily, slightly displacing her. The sweet shot of ecstasy in the pit of my stomach had been almost painful.

There, however, was where she stopped.

“What is it?” I asked, and it took her a few more moments to respond.

“Could you… take the lead?”

A simple and unexplainable joy radiated through me at her request. “Unbutton your blouse,” I said to her and she shook her head.

“Let’s not go above the waist.”

“I refuse,” I said ready to rise up and walk away if she disagreed any further. This was my one chance with her, and I would rather have none at all than only half.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I want to suck on your breasts.”

“They’re just breasts.”

“And this is just a dick.”

She glared at me in the dark. “Alright then,” she finally said. “As you wish.”

She left her hands by her sides, and it amused me. Her message was clear. I would have to do the work to get what I truly wanted. I did not mind for even one bit.

“Unbutton your blouse,” I said, and her hands shot to the buttons before I even completed the statement. Her eyes were shut, and her head thrown slightly back. Her hands were clumsy in her haste but soon she spread open the shirt and exposed to me a plain dark bra. Her breasts, however, were so full that they filled the material to perfection. I slid my arms around her waist and brought her chest a mere breath away from my face. I didn't even know where to start from as I gazed in admiration at her as she took her bra off, setting free the most beautiful set of breasts I had ever seen.

My mouth searched for her left nipple and the moment I found it, scraped it with my teeth as gently as I could. She gasped at the sudden contact and would have fallen backward if her waist was not held in place with my hand.

“Keep your balance,” I said to her and she locked her legs more solidly on the ground.

I did the same to her right breast, this time biting down even harder, and her chest pushed up against my face. I could almost hear the pounding of her heart and without even realizing it, she began to grind her wet core against my hardness.

I cupped her breasts with both my hands and began to knead gently as though my life depended on it. Unable to contain herself, her grind against me increased until I couldn't stand the barriers anymore.

I set myself free from my briefs and then tore her panties away. The scrap of material landed on the floor without a sound.

Finally, it was her softness to my hardness and I thought that I would go mad. I kissed and sucked on her breasts and nipples as though a starving man, while she ground her swollen clit against my cock.

Unable to sit still any longer I rose with her and placed her back to the wall of the stall.

I sucked harder on what I knew if we were to remain together would be my favorite part of her body, pulling at her nipples and scraping my teeth cautiously against them.

Eventually, one of my hands left her breast and found its way down her silky smooth and warm flesh, and the moment it arrived at her core, grabbed onto her mound. My fingers dripped from her overflowing juices.

I brought the soaked hand to my lips, and while holding her gaze lapped up every bit of it with my tongue. She could only just watch me, unaware of the need for her that I had nursed over the past weeks.

Her taste made me thirsty, so I lowered myself as much as my height would allow and lifted one of her legs across my shoulder.

In the next moment my mouth was on her, and if she hadn't held unto my head in time, she might have crumbled unto the ground. The sweetest sounding groan I had ever heard floated out of her lips as I dug into her core with my tongue, extracting as much of her juices as I could.

She pulled on my hair as I took her swollen clit in my mouth and ate it out until her knees buckled before me. I rose and quickly caught her shoulders before she fell over, holding her up with one hand and sticking two of my fingers inside of her.

I thrust them in and out of her as she clung to my neck, kneading and worshipping her swollen core with my thumb until she came all over my hand.

She couldn't control her shout as she pressed down on her lips to muffle her sounds. Her arms were around my shoulders for dear life as she quaked all around me, fighting to catch her breath.

Eventually, I pulled my fingers out of her and took my seat back on the bowl.

She followed me like a magnet and sat astride me, this time having no inhibitions at grabbing at my cock.

It was harder than I had ever remembered and hurt so much that I thought it might explode. She guided me to her entrance however just before I impaled myself unto her I heard her whisper to me. Her voice was low and almost inaudible but I heard it as clear as day.

“Be careful,”

I didn't understand what she meant but as I pushed into her and met the barrier I had to push through, I fully understood and it shocked me to my senses.

“You’re a virgin?” I whispered to her, but she didn't respond.

For some reason, I started to pull out of her and didn't even realized it until she lifted her hips and impaled herself onto me. I heard the small wince of pain from her lips and refused to move until she had settled herself. “Are you alright?” I asked, cautious even about breathing.

After a few moments, she nodded and began to move cautiously with me, but I was now too distracted. I was certain that she was in her late twenties and the realization of her still-maintained level of innocence boggled me to no end.

My cock filled her so completely and the feel of it as she rode me gently took my mind off everything else.

The moment she grabbed at my shirt as the waves of ecstasy took over, I lost all consideration of her and began to pound my hips into her. She matched my fervor, with thrusts of her own and when she lifted herself just a little higher with her hands holding onto my shoulders for support, I shut my eyes in order to contain the depth of feeling that was bursting through me. She swirled her hips upon me so sensually and purposefully that my back arched away from the wall.

“Fuck!” I cursed with an animal-like groan that I could not recognize as coming from me. I buried my face in her chest wishing more than ever that I could flip her around on a flat surface and pound into her with all of my strength. I wasn't certain anymore who was fucking whom.

All I knew was that I was on the brink of an explosion, and the moment she landed her lips once more upon mine, her buttocks slapping loudly against my thighs, we both received the trigger that we needed.

At the convulsion of her walls around my dick, I came with such a ferociousness that numbed me to all else. I could feel my body trembling as I emptied my seed into her, my arms crushing her to me as though my life would come to an end if I let her go

Her cry against my neck and the whimpers that followed as she quaked against me confirmed her own orgasm too, and as we held onto each other for dear life I almost couldn't believe what we had just experienced.

I couldn't believe that it had ended, either.

I tightened my hold on her refusing to let go, and I could feel her do the same. Eventually, reality began to set in as our racing hearts slowed down and our breathing began to return to normal.

She started to pull away and out of a desperation that I could not explain, I kept her head in place and brought her lips to mine. It was the deepest and most intimate kiss that I had ever given anyone in my entire life, and through it, I was saying to her what I could not bring my words to convey.

This couldn't be the end, this couldn't be the only time. I would go mad if it were. I drank all of her in and she matched the ferocious dance of my tongue against hers.

Eventually, there was a knock on the door and the shock instantly pulled her lips away from mine.

My head collapsed unto her neck. Conscious of the fleeting time I had with her, I began to place wet kisses along her neck and then down to her breasts.

“Just one more time," I whispered, my cock already hardening inside of her but then suddenly she pulled away from me and rose to her feet.

I watched her stagger, the strength still not fully returned to her legs and reveled in the smile that spread across my lips.

“We’ll be right out,” I yelled out to the knocking attendant and rose without a word to put myself in order.

She did the same—buttoned her blouse back into place but then frowned as she picked up her ruined panties to realize that they were unwearable.

“I’ll keep those,” I said to her and started to take them out of her hands but she held them away from me and slipped them into her purse.

“They’re mine.”

She pulled the door open to walk away but I held her hand and pulled her to the sink with me.

“What are you doing?” she asked, and I leaned her against the counter, spreading my long legs apart to cage her in place.

“You want to walk around with my sperm running down your legs?” I asked and retrieved a handkerchief from my pocket.

She stared down at herself and when I brought the wetted handkerchief towards her, she reached out to take it from me.

I brushed her hand away and squatted down, but she tightened her legs together and refused.

“I’ll do it myself,” she insisted.

I glared into her eyes, seething at all the walls she was putting between us and uttered only one word. “No.” I meant it and at her realization of this she spread her legs apart and I traced the wet cloth up her legs until it got to her core. It was soaking wet.

I wiped her clean and when I brought the cloth away I could see the blood amidst it all. She couldn't take anymore then and she wrenched herself away from me to escape and I allowed her.

I slipped the handkerchief into my pocket and turned to watch as she all but scampered away from the bathroom.

When I eventually exited the coffee shop, the rain had stopped and the vibrancy of life in the Big Apple had returned. I gazed in despair at the cabs that zoomed past and the endless throng of people that walked past me.

She had disappeared without a word.

And I remembered once again that she still hadn't asked me for my name.

I was infuriated to no end, at both myself and her.

I knew how to find her again, but did she want me to?