Windsor High’s homecoming dance takes place in a giant marquee set up in the courtyard of the school, and the atmosphere is electric. Cars pull into the parking lot under the warm glow of the setting sun and groups of friends huddle together, posing for pictures. It’s warm out, and the buzz of excitement that fills the campus is nothing short of special. The young freshmen look adorable as the girls teeter along in their shoes and the guys look around wide-eyed, but the rest of us play it cool. Will and I stroll along casually, chatting to some of our fellow classmates as we wait for Holden and his date. He’s taking Olivia Vincent from the marching band, and although I don’t know her all that well, I do know that she’s a sweet girl. He’s had his eye on her for a while and it took him an entire week to build up the courage to ask her to be his date tonight, but Holden’s crushes are often short-lived. By the time prom rolls around, he’ll have the hots for someone else.
As we wait, I keep an eye out for Jaden. I know he’s coming tonight and there’s a part of me that wishes we were going together. I still wish we’d had the chance to go together last year, and a not-so-small part of me is already thinking about prom. Just the thought of it has me smiling as I peer over Will’s shoulder, eyes roaming the parking lot.
Holden is the one I end up spotting first. It’s impossible not to, given his sheer height and brooding expression. He’s wearing all black, except the white tie that hangs loosely around his neck. He walks with his hands in his pockets as though he’s too cool to be here, but both Will and I know that, in fact, Holden does secretly enjoy the homecoming dance each year. By his side, Olivia Vincent is busy shoving her car keys into her bag as she totters across the parking lot, restricted by the excruciatingly tight-fitting white dress she’s wearing. When she glances up and fixes her hair for the third time, she smiles and waves to let us know that they’ve spotted us too.
“Last ever homecoming!” Will announces yet again as they near us, stepping forward and bumping fists with Holden, who really doesn’t look all that thrilled to be here and who has yet to make eye contact with me.
Olivia, on the other hand, seems over the moon. We exchange a warm, friendly smile and I tell her, “I love your dress.”
“Thanks!” she says, gesturing back at me. “I love yours.”
I glance over at Holden and he is fiddling awkwardly with the buttons on his jacket even though they are already all done up. I am still annoyed at him for the way he behaved last night, and I think he feels bad about it, because now he has his tail between his legs. “You look nice, Kenz,” he mumbles, glancing up briefly. He gives me a small smile before returning to the issue of his jacket buttons, but I’ll take it.
“Right back at you,” I reply, and then leave it at that. I can question him another time about last night’s events—a time that isn’t our final homecoming dance.
“C’mon,” Will says, “let’s head inside.” Flicking his hair in a way that lets me know he’s ready to make an entrance, he reaches for my wrist and interlocks our arms, escorting me across the school grounds toward the courtyard as Holden and Olivia follow on our heels.
It’s just after 8PM and already I can hear the music pumping all around the campus. The atmosphere is a complete buzz as the last remaining stragglers, including us, get in line to enter. I still haven’t clocked Jaden yet, so he must already be inside. I adjust and readjust my dress as I consider what exactly I will say to him when I see him. Last night, we finally kissed. I know I just have to act normal, but I’m really starting to hate the fact that I become shy around him, nervous and blushing beyond belief. It’s so not me.
Tickets exchanged, Will leads me inside to the dance. The marquee is large enough to hold the entire student body, with huge circular tables lining the walls—most of which are claimed already—and the DJ set up over by the dance floor. The main lights are dimmed, with strobe-lighting rather frantically emitting from the DJ booth, and I complete a full scan of the tent in search of Jaden, only to be disappointed when I still can’t find him. I really hope he hasn’t bailed, but I haven’t caught sight of his date, Eleanor Boosey, yet either, so perhaps they’re just late.
“I love this song!” Will yells, and before I’ve even had a chance to soak up the atmosphere, fetch myself a drink or even sit down, his hand is in mine and he’s pulling me to the center of the dance floor. There are only a few others up already, mostly because everyone else is still settling in and feeling too awkward to start busting out their moves just yet. But not Will. I’m not the best dancer by any means, but Will is really something. He’s the kind of dancer that gives it so much enthusiasm that you forget your own inhibitions and just get involved, so I’ve learned to stop worrying about how I look and to just enjoy myself. I glance over my shoulder to check if Holden and Olivia have followed, but they haven’t. They disappear into the cafeteria to grab some drinks, probably because Holden is an even worse dancer than I am.
Will reaches for my hand again and twirls me around twice, causing my dress to fan out around me, and I find myself laughing as I crash back into him. He catches me against his chest and steadies me, but that’s when I finally see Jaden over his shoulder.
He and Eleanor have just walked in. They linger to the side for a moment as they look around, though I think Ellie may be searching for her friends. However, my attention isn’t on her but on the boy standing next to her. Jaden looks extremely handsome in his black pants, white shirt and black bow tie. It’s a change from his usual black jeans or football jersey, and his hair is perfectly styled, gelled back into a tousled quiff like something out of a movie. He has one hand in his pocket and his blue eyes carefully move around the marquee until they eventually land on me. Jaden’s small smile stretches into a grin and I swear he may have blushed, or maybe it’s just me. I smile back at him, anxiously biting my lower lip. I can still feel his touch from last night. We exchange a smile for what feels like forever before I finally lift my hand and wave. He gives me a tiny wave back, right before Ellie reaches for his wrist and pulls him off to one of the tables where her group of friends is sitting.
“Looking like a dead fish isn’t a dance move, Kenzie!” Will yells into my ear, grabbing my arms and forcing me to dance. I do begin to move again, now feeling increasingly self-conscious about my dance skills. Every once in a while I look back over to Jaden. I catch glimpses of him and Ellie sitting together, and try to guess what they’re discussing. I check for any signs of flirtation, but can’t see anything to worry about. Still, I can’t help but wish he was with me.
Will and I stay up dancing for a long time. The music is actually pretty good—a mixture of current chart music and iconic pop songs from our childhood. Gradually more people come up to join us, including Jess and Kailee, and before long there’s a big group of us jumping around together. I don’t dance with Holden, not just because I imagine it will be awkward, but because when he does finally drag himself onto the dance floor he just stands at the very edge, chatting to some of the guys from the football team. Will is showing no signs of giving up, but it’s getting so hot that I think all my makeup must have melted right off by now. I can already feel the blisters forming on my feet and the dryness in my throat.
“Time out,” I tell Will rather breathlessly. I’ve been laughing and singing for the better part of two hours, and if I push it any longer, I might just collapse. I don’t know how Will has so much stamina.
“Fine,” Will says, rolling his eyes. “Amateur.” He locks his arm around mine and guides me through the heaving crowd to an empty table. I pull out a chair and sit down, facing the dance floor so that I can keep a lookout for Jaden, and Holden and Olivia quickly stroll over to join us. Holden slides into the chair three along from me, leaving a safe distance between us.
“I’ll grab us some drinks,” Will says, and adjusts his bow tie then wanders off.
“I’ll come with you,” Olivia says, and I really wish she hadn’t offered, because as she heads off with her hand on Will’s shoulder, I’m left alone with Holden at the huge table.
Both of us are silent as we stare at anything but each other. I don’t want to speak first, because I know I wasn’t the one who was wrong last night, so I pull out my makeup from my bag and begin to powder my face and top up my lipstick.
Holden finally looks over at me, his dark eyes reflecting the bright, neon flashes of color from the strobe lights, and then shakes his head. He pushes his chair back and slides along the row until he’s finally sitting in the chair next to me, reaching up to loosen his tie although it’s already hanging freely. He has to lean in close to me so that I can hear him clearly over the music as he says, “I’m sorry about last night.” He’s only a few inches away from me, so I can sense him swallow his pride as he admits, “I was being a jerk, and I didn’t mean to make Jaden and Dani feel bad.”
“Yeah,” I agree, shoving my makeup back into my bag, “you were.” I know it’s hard for Holden to admit when he’s wrong, so I appreciate his apology, though I want more from him. I want an explanation. “You think I’m a hypocrite, don’t you?”
Holden leans away from me and clenches his jaw. He’ll be pissed at Will for telling me what he said, but I don’t care. “You did ask us . . . ” he mumbles after a moment of silence.
“A year ago, Holden,” I cut in firmly, fixing him with a look. I wish he would just let it go. “I asked you a year ago, and you know exactly why I did. You know why I couldn’t be around them, and I can’t thank you and Will enough for taking my side, but you don’t have to avoid them anymore.” I fold my arms across my chest and lean forward, forcing Holden to look at me. “So why are you being so rude whenever they’re around?”
“Because I . . .” he begins, dark eyes narrowed and a frown forming. “I don’t know how to act around them.”
“You . . . you just act normal, Holden,” I say quietly, then heave a sigh as I sit back against my chair again. It’s easy to say, but it’s so much harder to do. I know that from experience. “If I can be around them without freaking out, then I’m pretty sure you can.”
Holden props his elbows up on the table and runs his hands through his hair in frustration, leaving it ruffled. He stares blankly ahead at the bustling dance floor, watching everyone bust out their best moves. “I can’t,” he says finally.
It’s then that I spot Jaden again. He’s at the very corner of the dance floor, right by the DJ booth, awkwardly side-stepping back and forth and nodding his head to the music as Ellie dances around him. She’s a great dancer and she is putting him to shame. He has a drink in his hand that he sips at every few seconds. “You’re going to have to,” I murmur, tearing my gaze away, “because you might be seeing a lot more of them.”
“What?” Holden’s eyes immediately flash back over to meet mine and he straightens up, staring at me in panic. “Kenzie, what?” he pleads.
“I’ve missed hanging out with them, and I am trying to make up for lost time,” I tell him. I figure it’s better to be straight-up than to pivot around the subject. I didn’t want to do this here, but if I have the chance, then I’m taking it. I have already told Will, so it’s time to tell Holden the truth too. “And, believe it or not, I like Jaden all over again.”
Holden’s face contorts with an entire range of different emotions. “What the fuck, Kenzie?”
I look back at him, surprised yet again by his attitude, wondering if I’m missing something. Holden didn’t mind when I was dating Jaden a year ago. “What, Holden?” I urge, leaning toward him.
“Nothing, Kenzie,” he says, shaking his head. Eyes still wide, he swallows hard and his gaze bores aimlessly into the crowd on the dance floor, zoned out as though he isn’t even here anymore. I can’t tell if he thinks I’m fickle, or if he’s annoyed out of some weird sense of protectiveness.
As if the devil himself had planned it, Jaden emerges from the crowd on the dance floor and stops in front of our table, oblivious to his awful timing. He flashes me his signature crooked smile and then shifts his gaze to the spaced-out Holden that’s sitting next to me.
“Hey, man,” Jaden says, leaning forward and pressing his hand flat down on the table. “Last night was something, huh? How about we forget about it?” He stretches across the huge circular table and extends his hand to Holden.
Holden tilts his chin up, his expression blank, and he doesn’t shake Jaden’s awaiting hand. “What’s taking them so long with the drinks?” he mumbles under his breath, quickly rising to his feet and striding off across the dance floor, cutting through the mass of bodies, most likely elbowing a few of them on his way.
“Ignore him,” I tell Jaden, who, for some reason or another, seems surprised by Holden’s odd behavior. By now, he should be used to it. “He’s being a jerk again, though I don’t think he realizes.”
“I can tell,” Jaden says with a small chuckle, straightening back up. He walks around the table and pulls out the chair next to me, sitting down sideways and propping one arm up on the edge on the table. His smile is addictive and contagious as his gaze sweeps over my entire body, and I blush under his scrutiny. His glossy blue eyes come to rest on my mouth and he swallows hard. I know what he’s thinking about, because I’m thinking about it too: We’re thinking of last night. I wouldn’t mind repeating it. In fact, I’m dying to.
He leans in closer and for a split second I think he’s about to kiss me, but instead he places his hand on my knee, his touch soft, and glances up from beneath his dark eyelashes. “Every time I catch a glimpse of you,” he murmurs, “all I can think is . . . wow.”
My eyes fall to my lap and I break the eye contact, because I’m unable to look at him without my cheeks flaming with color. Nervously, I run my fingers over the material of my dress and stare at Jaden’s hand on my knee. I reach for my bag and look back up at him, finally meeting his eyes again. I nod to the dance floor and smile. “Dance with me?”
Jaden’s touch disappears from my knee as his hand finds mine. He interlocks our fingers firmly together and then stands up, carefully pulling me with him. Even though my feet hurt, I’m willing to dance my way through the pain so long as it’s with Jaden, and with my hand in his, in front of the entire school, we make our way to the very center of the dance floor.