Tracy

I held him tight. I didn’t want this moment or this night to end. He was heavy on me, almost too much to bear. But I didn’t care. I wanted it. I wanted to feel his body envelop me.

My experiences were limited. I’d thought I had an okay sex life. Ted and I had pleasant enough times together, despite his selfishness. But that selfishness was laid out in stark relief in comparison to what Maddox had just done to me. What we’d just done together.

He rolled to the side, to my disappointment, but it was probably smart since air was in short supply in my position underneath this massive man.

“What was that, Maddox? I mean. It was something different than I ever felt before.”

“I don’t know. The same for me.”

He wasn’t a big talker. I knew that, but even that little bit of acknowledgment that this wasn’t the normal roll in the hay was all I needed.

My insides were jelly. My bones liquid. My head though, surprisingly, was calm. After all that I’d felt lately, all the fear, upheaval, and change I’d undergone, I knew now that it was because of Maddox.

A part of my soul wanted to be with his and it was somehow removing any obstacles. I was sure Ted and I were doomed, before I’d even stepped foot inside The Castle, but once Maddox was truly in my sight, I couldn’t really see any other man.

And I didn’t want to because this man was more man than any other I’d met. I had no way to compare him to anyone I’d ever been with. Suddenly the urge to see more of him overtook me.

He’d done the exploration this first time. He looked at me, touched me. Now I wanted that same chance.

He was still wearing his t-shirt, and his jeans. After our frenzy to get my clothes off, it was now time to get his out of the way.

I climbed up on him.

“Can I help you, miss?” he said, and a little smile played on his lips, under his beard. I couldn’t recall him ever smiling. I craved more of that too.

“I want to see you.”

“There’s a lot of scars, baby.”

He lifted his arms and I dragged his t-shirt up and off. The sight of him made me gasp. His shoulders and arms were massive, with muscles rippled underneath his hairy chest before narrowing down to an impossible number of abs.

I ran my fingers over his chest and down to his hipbones, and then I laid myself out on the top of him. I could curl up on him without one part of me touching the bed. I nuzzled in and he wrapped his arms around me.

“I need you,” he said to me.

That was it, no I need you to do this or that or be in this picture or wear this dress. He needed me.

I leaned up and kissed him on the lips. I felt his hands skim my body. I more than needed him right now. I wanted him again.

I kissed his neck and felt his scruffy beard on my skin. I traveled down to his beautiful body. He was a masterpiece and I couldn’t get enough. The feel of his skin on my skin produced some sort of chemical reaction in me.

I slid further and further down, my body and his touching at all points. And there he was, ready for me again.

I didn’t do this very often with Ted, but it was suddenly all I wanted. I opened my mouth and slid him in. The noise he made, the growl, like this huge beast was helpless, and under my power, was unlike any sexual encounter I’d ever had. To look at us, anyone would think he was in charge. But right now, I was, totally. I reveled in the strength I had to do what pleased him and me. It hadn’t been like that with Ted or anyone else.

I felt him tense and I put a hand up to his chest to settle him down. To let him know I was doing what I wanted, and he only had to lay back and enjoy it.

I was going to do this, and I was going to enjoy every inch of it. So was he; that was abundantly clear. I sucked hard on him and I felt Maddox grab my hair. It wasn’t aggressive; it was more a plea to me to have mercy.

I didn’t. The sounds he made spurred me. Never had I thought of myself as a sensual being, or skilled in anything like this. But it wasn’t about that. It thrilled me to experience how my mouth made him feel. My need and his were perfect partners.

I finished what I started.

Maddox had gone from raging beast to teddy bear in my bed. He pulled me up to him and kissed me.

“What are you doing to me?” he asked.

I smiled back. I didn’t know. I hadn’t planned to upend my life. It had just happened. I curled back on top of Maddox. He grabbed the sheet and covered us both with it. He wrapped his arms around me.

I fell asleep satisfied. Safe. And certain that I’d made a turn in my life that may not be easy but would be way more fulfilling than anyone’s campaign trail.

We fell asleep together, and it was almost more delicious than making love had been.

We woke up in the same position. How had I ever slept without him?

Maddox kissed my head and I realized it was after 7 a.m. I stretched a bit.

“God, your body feels so good,” he said to me. He ran his calloused palm over my back and down my backside. He pulled me in closer and I didn’t think I’d be able to get out of bed.

“We need to get moving,” I said, and it was true. There were meals to deal with and my projects around the house, and Olivia. I rolled off him and lay for a second next to him.

“I want you to remember what I told you the other night.”

“What? You give a lot of orders,” I said, only half kidding. Maddox was not a rule by committee type of guy.

“Last night it was The Hawks. They’re my enemies and they’ll try to hurt you, you saw.”

“I don’t think they actually know who I am.”

“Let’s keep it that way. No bus trips. Me, Fitzie, we go with you if you have errands or shit.”

“Uh, I can’t really see how that’s a viable strategy.”

Maddox sat up and looked at me. His eyes bored into me and his jaw was set. His face was fierce and as scary as when he’d nearly knocked me over.

“There’s shit you don’t know. I need you to do this for me.”

“I – Okay. Fine.”

The spell we’d had between us, that perfect bubble, was burst. His rage at The Hawks or at the world, it was a real thing. And somehow babysitting me every step I took was a part of it.

“Good.” He pulled me in and then perched me on his lap. I wanted to stomp off and say I could take care of myself.

I thought it might be a good idea to establish a ground rule right now. I wouldn’t be babied.

“I need you safe,” he said and ran his fingers through my hair. Maddox tilted me back and my neck was there for him. I felt his lips hot on it, and then his teeth nibbling it. As much as I’d wanted to devour him last night, he wanted to do the same this morning.

I forgot whatever issues he may have – fears, paranoia, or macho biker bullshit. I sank back as his lips traveled to my color bone.

“I – we need to get moving.”

“You’ll be moving.”

“I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.”

Pressure built in all the right places. Maddox’s fingers and lips knew what to do to make me forget anything but what was happening to my body.

“Maddox, I think...”

I gave up before I could finish the sentence. Maddox picked me up and carried me to the bathroom adjoining my room. He kept kissing me and I melted further into his hands, his mouth. I was in a trance of lust at that point. Before I knew it, we were both in a hot shower.

The water sluiced over both of us. It felt glorious.

I turned around and let it drench my hair. Maddox grabbed my shampoo and the suds mixed with the water on my body.

I felt his lips on the nape of my neck, his beard on my shoulder blades. I splayed my hands on the tile wall and felt him behind me, sliding in, pulsing.

I cried out. I hoped it wasn’t too loud. Were people in the house up? Could they hear this part of the house? I hoped not because I wasn’t in control of the sounds I was making.

Maddox drove into me. I was practically lifted off the ground with each thrust of his hips. I was instantly ready to go over the edge. The water, the way he touched me, it was all the sensations combined that had me coming.

“Let go baby,” he said, and I did. The rolling waves of pleasure he’d stoked in me were too much, not enough, everything.

We climaxed together, and then we let the water wash over us.

“I’m so late for work, you brute.”

“I’ll write a note,” Maddox said.

He left me in the shower to get ready.

I wondered how we’d be together, out of this room, out of this fairytale night, and in the real world.

And I tried not to analyze it too much. Whatever was happening with Maddox and I was supposed to happen. Our bodies knew it; our souls knew it.