Tracy

I had wanted answers. I had wanted more from Maddox and I got it. But then again, maybe I knew too much. I’d come here to make it possible to marry Ted and yet in a short space of time I’d changed course so completely from Ted to Maddox.

I walked out to the beach and looked out over the water. I’d been attacked, twice, I’d navigated a strange family dynamic, and I’d figured out how to do a good job here.

And I loved Maddox too. I knew that. I knew that as sure as I knew what I’d felt for Ted wasn’t that at all.

I picked up my phone and called Harlow.

I needed some advice from someone who’d been where I was.

“Hey, kid. I thought you might call me. I’m glad you did.”

Harlow had been my boss that had turned into a friend. She seemed so happy with Kade and now that I knew more about The Dark Saints, I knew she must have made compromises.

Could I do the same? Were there reasons to murder? The answer forming in my brain made me worry whether I was an evil person or a good person.

“So how do you do it? That’s what I need to know.”

“Do what?”

“Justify what they do, what The Dark Saints stand for.”

“Honey, they stand for keeping us safe. They stand for honor among each other. It’s not a bad thing.”

“But they break the law. Violence is a part of their lives. How do you justify staying with someone like that?”

“All I know is that Kade is the most honorable man I’ve ever known. And he has taken a bullet for me. That’s who he is. That’s who Maddox is, too.”

“I know things now that I can’t ignore. Maddox told me something that makes me wonder if I am making a deal with the devil by loving him.”

“I’m not going to say I’m not scared. I’m not going to say it has been easy. But I know in my soul I would wither away and my life would be less than I want if Kade and I weren’t together. And I’ve seen what The Hawks are. They have to be stopped.” There was something in her voice that made me understand that she’d seen more of The Hawks than I had. Harlow had been through something and The Hawks were the reason.

“Thank you for talking to me about this. I know what my heart wants but my head is not so sure.”

“Things get really clear when you realize there’s no guarantee with any relationship.”

“I love Maddox and I want to be with him.”

“Well, if it helps you decide, Maddox saved my life. He’s a good man and he deserves a woman like you. And you deserve him too. I’ve seen his heart.” I trusted Harlow completely and her perspective helped lead me to where I really wanted to be.

“You give me hope that I can find my place with him and the club.”

“Anytime, kiddo. And you’ve met them: they like puppies just like normal humans!”

I laughed. At that moment Bella trotted up to me. Harlow had helped so much.

I looked back up to the house. I’d heard Maddox’s bike leave during my phone call. That was good. I needed a little more time alone. When Maddox was close enough to touch I couldn’t think straight. He overwhelmed me.

Maddox had killed Jonesy C, the same man who wanted to terrorize me, the man who he said shot Olivia. I thought of Olivia. Her beautiful face was getting thinner every day, the further she got from living a life, the more she seemed to look otherworldly. There was so much she could have done in her life. She’d had so much in front of her.

Jonesy C did deserve what he got. That was the deep dark admission I had to make to myself. He deserved to die for what he did to Olivia.

I knew what I wanted to do.

I was going to stay. I was going to tell Maddox what I needed from him. How I wanted to live my life. One of them was being a nurse. I could see that Josie was a vital, vibrant, and totally fulfilled woman. I wanted that for myself and I was going to get it.

Things started to fall into place for me. I walked back up to The Castle.

I did my standard rounds. I checked in on Sarge first.

“Hey, you want dinner in a bit?”

Sarge was napping in his chair. He did that before dinner. He looked damn good for what he’d been through in the last few days too.

“Nothing fancy, but that would be nice.”

“Will do.”

I went into Olivia’s room. Her nurse nodded to me.

I sat next to Olivia and picked up the second binder. I’d only really gotten through the first one. If was going to stay here, I’d keep doing some of the things Olivia would have. It would be my gift to her legacy.

Olivia was so serene, ever sleeping, frozen in time. Only her notes, clippings, and the framed pictures let me know who she really was. The echoes of her life still impacted everyone in this house.

I opened the new binder.

And there was another letter in that creepy writing. On that same thick mint green stationery.

It was more cogent. The handwriting was a little less shaky. I was hopeful for Olivia that this was a resolution to whatever had happened to her.

I am sorry. Please don’t tell your brother what you said. I just want to be with you. To be a Saint. The doctors adjusted my medication and things are better. You will be better with me. Please don’t threaten me like you did. I am only trying to be your boyfriend. I know I we are meant to be together. Forever and ever. I just need you to stop talking about the bad stuff. I need you to stop saying no to me and we can be happy.

This one was signed.

I nearly screamed when I saw by who.

Fitzie.

I wondered what he’d done to her. I knew now Fitzie had been the one stalking her and it looked like she was about ready to tell Maddox.

I needed to tell Maddox about Fitzie. Fast.

I had two completely frightening letters. There were probably more, but this was more than enough to show Maddox, so he could figure out what to do. Maybe get Fitzie help?

I put the binder back where I found it but kept the letters from Fitzie.

I looked down at Olivia. I was so sad that she’d had to deal with whatever had happened.

I started to put together the last few days, before Olivia had been shot. It wasn’t a Devil’s Hawk threatening but instead it was a Saint, or almost a Saint. Maddox called Fitzie a probie.

Fitzie was doing everything possible to be a Dark Saint. He still was.

I’m sure Olivia was terrified. It made me sad to think what she might have been going through.

Letters in hand, I headed back to the kitchen. I needed to finish what Olivia had started. Maddox needed to know Fitzie was unbalanced and that he was crazy over Olivia.

The door to the kitchen opened. Thank God, Maddox was here. I turned around.

It was Fitzie.

He looked from me to the letters I had in my hand. The thick mint green stationery was unique, and hard to miss.

Before I could process a way to handle the situation Fitzie had his hand around my mouth.

He grabbed my arm.

I was surprised how strong he was.

I couldn’t scream. And then the lights went out.