Chapter Twelve
Everything was slowly falling apart.
It didn’t matter what he tried, Rafe couldn’t seem to get his footing. Something was up with Diana. She’d been acting strangely for a couple of days now. Quieter than usual. Watching him warily. Had he done something? Every night they went to bed and made love like they were on fire. Like there was a desperate need to be with each other. To hold on to each other. Almost as if they would never get to do it again.
That shit worried him.
“Is there a reason you’re staring at her and not talking to her?” Oskar leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him watch Diana in the living room.
The sight of the big blond man watching his woman made Rafe glower. “Mind your business.”
Oskar shrugged. “Sort of is my business, man. We all live here. If you’re going to make me watch you moon over your girl, I’m going to have something to say.”
“Oh, and you’re an expert on love?”
The idiot grinned, and Rafe rolled his eyes. He liked it better when Oskar was scowling at him. It was his default look. And also, the smile was blinding as fuck. Like looking directly into the sun or some shit. It was a good thing he didn’t do that more often or all the guys might have to fight him for their women… though come to think of it, he wasn’t entirely sure Oskar was into women. The guy was always flirting with him.
“I do happen to be kind of a love expert.”
“No shit. I’ve never even seen you with a woman. Are you sure you’re batting for my team?”
“What’s the matter, Rafe?” Oskar winked at him. “You worried I’ve got a crush on you? That I see Diana as competition?”
Rafe shrugged. “I’m cool with it. I know I’ve got a nice ass. Look all you want. I’ve been told it’s a thing of beauty.”
Oskar’s bark of laughter reverberated off the walls. “Cocky bastard.”
Okay yeah, it was better all around if the German never laughed or smiled around Diana. “With an ass like this, who wouldn’t be?” Rafe deliberately wiggled his ass back and forth.
Oskar nearly choked on his apple. “If this whole thing doesn’t work out, I’ve got just the strip club for you. I’m sure you’ll clean house.” The German shook his head and added, “But the thing with your girl, something’s eating you. You probably need to talk to her. You two have done the thing where you don’t really talk about stuff, but you just bone. And while that’s fun, and there are certain relationships where that’s all you’ve got, you love her. And it’s clear that, for some insane reason, she’s all about you. Despite my dropping all my best charms on her.”
“I told you, stay the fuck away from her.”
The German smirked. “See, that’s how I know you love her. So if you love her, stop standing around with your dick in your hand, lamenting the miniscule size, and go ask her what’s wrong. Or you can fuck it out. Either way works. Talking, fucking. That’s what Noah does at least.” Oskar rolled his eyes.
Rafe glanced back over to Lucia and Diana. Maybe the guy had a point. Diana looked up at that moment, and their gazes locked. He took a step toward her, and she gave him a brilliant smile before heading toward him.
But then something went wrong. She frowned and put a hand on her stomach. Then her eyes went wild, and he saw it, panic and fear. A moment later, she sagged to the ground.
Fuck him.
Rafe had never been so terrified. Okay, there was that time at the motel. Oh wait. Also, when he’d woken up to find she’d left him. Damn this woman was trying to give him a heart attack. He ran to her, Oskar right on his heels. Matthias beat them all to her side.
Matthias checked for vitals. Rafe tried shoving him away. “Mine. I’ll check her.”
Matthias merely rolled his eyes and kept on about his business. “Everyone in this house has had a refresher on CPR, because of the baby and all. So fuck off, and we’ll make sure she’s okay.”
Rafe had never see Matthias like this… protective. That was new. But still, she was his woman. He didn’t like anyone touching her. At that point, though, all he could do was order Oskar to call the doctor.
The guy was gone in a flash. In the meantime, Diana started to come out of it. His name was the first thing on her lips. “Rafe—”
“I’m here, baby. Just relax. I think you fainted. We’re calling the doctor to come and check you out.”
“No. Don’t do that. This is all too much fuss. I’m fine.”
Matthias shook his head. “She’s not fine. Her pulse is low. She probably has low blood pressure right now.”
Rafe stared at her. “The doctor’s coming. Deal with it. I love you, so I get to make these calls.”
Breckner was at the penthouse in less than thirty minutes. By then they’d moved Diana to the medical bay, and Rafe paced anxiously outside the room while the doctor checked her out. Why couldn’t they just have any normal time together? Time when he wasn’t terrified something was going to happen to her?
Was this what love felt like all the time? It was awful. The constant worry. The constant fear. He didn’t like that one bit. Yeah, you do. Because it’s better than leaving her alone in the world.
That was true. He wouldn’t trade off for peace of mind no matter what. He wanted her to be safe. But watching her fall like that, he’d never felt so humbled. He could protect her against armed gunmen, but if she was sick? He was completely helpless.
The door opened and the doctor came out. Rafe was on him like a fly on shit. “Is she okay? What’s wrong with her? Can I go in to see her?”
The doctor patted his arm. “Yes, yes. She’s fine. She’s doing well. She just needs rest, and I’d like to get more nutrients in her. But right now everything is good. Baby’s heartbeat is strong.”
Rafe stared at him. “Excuse me? What do you mean baby?”
The doc paused. “You didn’t know? She’s pregnant. We won’t know exactly how far along until we do an ultrasound.”
Rafe stared at him. He ran his hands through his hair. “How the hell did that happen?”
Behind him Oskar chuckled. “Oh man, this is going to take a while. So a long time ago there were some birds and some bees.”
“Shut up,” Rafe growled.
Oskar held up his hands. “Sorry man, I was trying to give you the basics. If you don’t know how babies get here, I can help. But you have to listen closely.”
Rafe ignored him and stared at the doctor. “You’re sure she’s pregnant?”
The doctor nodded. “Yeah. It’s early. Like I said, this is nothing that can’t be solved with rest and proper nutrition. She should be fine. I did recommend that she start her prenatal vitamins right now though, especially folic acid.”
The doctor left, and Rafe stared at the door in complete shock. He knew how this had happened, of course. That day. He’d shoved her up against the wall. He’d been so angry. But he’d also known in that moment that he loved her and didn’t want to let her go…
Noah’s voice was low. “Do you need help? You want Lucia to go in with you or something?”
Rafe shook his head. “I got this.”
He pushed open the door of the room then shut it quietly behind himself. She lifted her head and gave him a small smile. “See. I told you. I’m fine.” She tried to sit up, but he was on her in a flash, pushing her back down gently.
“You are not fine. Doc said you need rest.”
She waved her hand. “Oh, come on. I’m totally fine. It’s low blood pressure. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
He stared down at her, and then his knees buckled. Taking her hand in his, he kissed her palm then placed his other hand on her belly.
When his gaze drifted up to hers, her eyes were wide with surprise and fear. “You know?”
He nodded. “I know.”
“I was going to tell you. But I just wanted some time first.”
He frowned. “What? Why?”
“I don’t want you to be with me just because I’m pregnant. I wanted you to be with me because of me. Because you love me. And we’ve had too much stuff going on. And this baby I just—”
He swallowed hard. “You want the baby?”
She scrambled backward on the bed and nodded emphatically. “Of course I want the baby. I just— I didn’t want to tell you until we knew what was happening with us.”
He breathed a long sigh of relief. “Okay. Thank God. Here’s what’s going on with us so that we’re perfectly clear. I belong to you. You belong to me. And I will maim or kill anyone who tries to hurt either of you. Understood?”
Her lips twitched into a smile. “Well, when you put it that way.”
Rafe changed positions so he could sit on the edge of the bed. When he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, he made himself a promise. He was going to keep her safe. It didn’t matter what it took.
Even if he had to sacrifice his life to make it happen.
Rafe looked down at the hand resting on Diana’s belly. There wasn’t much to see there yet, just a gentle curve under the skin. If he hadn’t known what she looked like before, he might have missed it. But there was no denying the change. A change brought about by his baby. He was almost knocked over by the bone-deep wave of possessive love that flowed through him at that moment.
Mine.
He fought to keep his expression neutral when he knew he must look like a feral animal. Diana could never know the true depth of how he felt about her. If she did, she’d run away at the first opportunity. It wasn’t something that he could even explain; it was just a feeling. That she was his to protect and care for. It was the greatest honor and purpose of his life. One he’d perform until he had no breath left in his body.
“I know you said you’re okay,” he started.
Before he could even finish, Diana glared at him. “Don’t start with me. It’s way too early for you to go all crazy protective on me. I passed out just because I’m exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that’s happened. But I’m fine. Physically anyway.”
The thought of her being so worried that she passed out riddled Rafe with guilt. The whole reason he’d encouraged her to go to the authorities was to take this worry away from her. Now she had to fear the very people he’d asked her to trust. The irony in that wasn’t lost on him. Nor did it escape his notice that it was almost a perfect mirror of their relationship. When they’d met, she’d thought he was the enemy and then discovered that everything she thought she’d known was a lie.
He had to wonder if she’d hit her limit on trust. He wouldn’t blame her for being confused after being raised with the Vandergraffs as her only family.
“I’m not going overprotective on you,” he lied. “I just want to make sure that you have what you need. You and this little one.” He leaned down and kissed her belly gently. She probably couldn’t even feel it through the layers of sheets and clothing, but he knew the symbolism wasn’t lost on her.
Diana smiled gently, and the warmth of it was like sunlight. “You really are happy about the baby, aren’t you?”
“Of course. Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
“I wasn’t sure. I didn’t dare to hope.”
He couldn’t take anymore. Rafe climbed gently into the bed with her, hovering right on the edge so he wouldn’t crowd her. But he had to be close to her.
“This baby will be the best of both of us. How could I not be happy about that?”
Rafe tilted her chin up gently and brushed his lips across hers. With a soft moan, Diana opened to him. The tip of her tongue touching his set off a powerful hunger. He was trying to be gentle, holding her like spun glass until she tugged on his shirt with far more strength than he would have thought possible. Following her urging, Rafe settled directly over her until he was resting right between her thighs. When his full weight connected with her, his cock pressing against her, she moaned into his mouth.
“Jesus, Diana, you’re trying to kill me here. I’m trying to be gentle with you, baby. You’re supposed to be resting.”
Her arms tightened around him when he tried to pull back. Then she lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist, using it as a lever to prevent him from moving.
“Rest isn’t what I need right now,” she said in a low, throaty purr.
The husky sound of her voice stabbed him right through the heart. Did she know what she did to him when she talked like that? She had this way of moaning words that made it sound like she was on the verge of coming right then and there. It never failed to jack him up.
“I’m going to give you everything you need, baby. Believe that.”
There was no denying it at this point. Rafe tucked his hands under her plump bottom and held her still as he ground against her. She rolled and arched, trying to force him in the exact spot where she needed friction. But Rafe wasn’t going to allow her to direct things this time. He was in control now, and there were so many ways he wanted to torment her before he allowed either of them to come.
“Do you know what it does to me, knowing that a piece of me is inside you right now?” He growled at just the thought, stunned to realize just how arousing it was to think that they’d made a baby together.
After losing his parents, there had been a part of him that was scared to love anymore. If he hadn’t already had Lucia and Nonna in his life, it was possible that he would have been lost to the darkness. But after meeting Diana, he’d felt his heart open for the first time since. Knowing that she carried his child inside her broke it open the rest of the way, just cracked it right down the middle.
Rafe growled as she shuddered beneath him, and he inched his way down her torso, kissing and biting as he went. Every few inches, he pushed her shirt up higher until she eventually sat up slightly and yanked it over her head. The black bra she wore wasn’t the sexy kind, but her cleavage spilled over the top, already looking fuller than before.
If that wasn’t a turn-on…
Rafe continued downward, tucking his fingers in the edges of her jeans to pull them off along with her panties. He had a destination, and nothing was going to derail him. He needed her thighs clamped around his head and his tongue deep in her pussy while she cried out his name. Nothing else would calm this raging storm inside.
“Rafe? We shouldn’t do this here. What if someone comes to check on me?” Diana panted against his shoulder.
“They’ll get an eyeful of something they don’t want to see because I’m not stopping. I can’t stop. Not now.”
She framed his face with her hands, and her eyes softened. Somehow she always seemed to understand what he needed. In that moment, what Rafe needed was to not let go. To hold her and feel that she was his and was not going anywhere.
“I love you, Rafe.”
He shuddered as the truth of her words stormed through him. “I love you too. So much.”
His fingers clenched under her bottom, and when she gasped, he took the opportunity to kiss her again. She melted under him like hot butter, and Rafe growled at the possessive satisfaction he got from the reaction.
She sat up lightly and tugged at his shirt until he threw it off. Clothes went everywhere as he raced to get naked too. He wasn’t sure if she felt the same urgency he did to be with her. But this was what he needed. Skin to skin and nothing between them.
“Oh God, yes.” Diana’s voice failed her when Rafe’s tongue trailed down her neck.
He took one plump nipple in his mouth and sucked hard. His dick was so hard, but he wasn’t getting anywhere near her until she’d come at least once.
Her hips bucked as he kissed her stomach, and he put one hand gently on the swell of her stomach to keep her still, marveling at the hard curve of her belly. Diana looked down at him and then cried out when his mouth closed over her core.
Heaven. He fucking loved her taste. He also loved feeling her clench in satisfaction against his face. He lived for this, feeling the evidence of her pleasure. It jacked him up like a drug. Soon her cries got louder until she slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. He smiled against her, then sucked her clit gently until she broke beneath him.
He wiped his mouth on the sheet and then moved carefully up her body. Her eyes were wild as he kissed her gently and arranged her legs around his waist. When his thumb brushed her clit, her eyes flew wide open and she moaned again.
“Rafe, you’re trying to kill me.”
He grinned. “Only with pleasure.”
Carefully he eased inside, gritting his teeth at the tight fit. She was so hot and tight that he doubted he’d last long, but he wanted to. There was nothing he wanted more in that moment than to stay clenched inside her, smelling her scent, and watching as she lost herself to pleasure all over again.
But all too soon, he felt the coil of pleasure at the base of his spine. When he finally let go, he held her gaze the whole time, hoping she’d see his heart in his eyes.
Diana rested in Rafe’s arms, listening to the soft cadence of his breath. After making love several times, they’d collapsed in each other’s arms exhausted. He’d finally fallen asleep a little while ago. Sleep didn’t come easily to him, and she understood why. For years he’d been the one looking after everyone else.
It gave Diana immense satisfaction that he trusted her enough to let his guard down.
She traced a finger over his face. His reaction to her pregnancy hadn’t been what she’d expected. It wasn’t that she’d thought he’d be angry. It wasn’t as though she’d gotten pregnant on her own, after all. She’d expected him to step up and take responsibility because that was who he was. But his reaction had gone beyond taking responsibility. He’d been… happy. The joy on his face had touched her deeply, and even now she couldn’t quite believe it had happened. They were a family, and Rafe was thrilled about it. It felt like a dream.
She chuckled and only quieted when Rafe stirred. So much had changed in her life so quickly. It was enough to give a girl whiplash. But as tempting as it was to pretend she was in the middle of some fairy tale, Diana knew that her time to enjoy this was limited. Who only knew what would come out of their meeting with the FBI? She prayed they would finally realize she didn’t have anything to do with her family.
She could only hope that they would be able to find her brothers and prosecute them. After all the horrible things she’d seen in Rafe’s files, she wanted that more than anything. Her hand went to her neck. Even though the bruises were no longer visible, Diana knew that she would always feel the phantom weight of Hans’s hands around her throat. It was a stark reminder of what was at stake here.
Her brothers were dangerous men. They needed to be stopped. And she had a bad feeling that they were just getting started.
The nausea rose quickly, and Diana sucked in several quick breaths. The air only made it worse, and she tried to back away from Rafe slowly. As it was, she barely made it out of the room before she felt it coming. She clapped a hand over her mouth as she stumbled to the hall bathroom. Tears burned her eyes as she threw up the remains of her dinner. The morning sickness had been a little better lately, and she’d gotten complacent, assuming she was past the worst of it. But apparently, it had just been a temporary reprieve.
Damn it. It was supposed to be morning sickness. She wasn’t sure how long it went on before she felt cool hands pulling her hair back.
“It’s okay, baby. Here.” He wiped her face gently with a warm cloth.
Mortified but too exhausted to put up a fight, Diana relaxed into his arms and allowed him to take care of her. Rafe was so gentle, cleaning her face quickly and efficiently before flushing the toilet. He put toothpaste on her brush and then handed it to her. Diana brushed her teeth, grateful to get the sour taste out of her mouth. Once she was finished, she wiped her mouth on the towel Rafe held out. Then he leaned down and scooped her into his arms.
“Wait! Rafe, you don’t have to carry me. I can walk.” There was no one in the hallway at this time of night, but Diana still looked around worriedly.
“I’m sure you can. But I like carrying you.”
She didn’t have any rebuttal for that, so she rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her down the hall and into their room. After being so violently sick, it was a relief to allow someone else to care for her. Being taken care of by someone who loved you was a privilege that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Not that she’d ever been neglected.
On the contrary, her father, and then later her brothers, had paid quite a bit of money to make sure that her every whim had been catered to. But it wasn’t the same being attended by paid staff. They’d taken care of her because it was their job, whereas, Rafe had come to her just because he wanted to.
Rafe set her gently on the bed and pulled back the covers so she could slide under. Diana moved over so he had room to get in behind her. When he cuddled close to her, molding himself to her from chest to thigh, Diana sigh contentedly.
“Does that happen a lot?” Rafe finally asked.
Diana nodded. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
His arm tightened around her midsection. “Don’t be sorry. I don’t want you dealing with that alone.”
Even though it was a little silly that he was worried about her morning sickness, it gave Diana a warm feeling that he was concerned about her welfare.
“I’m fine, Rafe. It’s just part of the process. Although I can’t deny I’ll be happy when this part is over.”
“Me too. I hate seeing you so sick. I just want to take care of you.”
They rested together for a long time, just breathing in sync before Diana felt Rafe fall asleep again. She knew the minute he was out because his arm around her waist slackened slightly and his breathing became slower and deeper. Even after being so horribly sick, Diana was truly happy. This right here was everything she’d always wanted. Their little family may have been unexpected, but it was the deepest wish of her heart.
Her earlier worries about her brothers came back to her mind. She cuddled deeper into Rafe’s embrace, and even in his sleep, he tightened his arms around her protectively. It wouldn’t do to get herself all worked up again thinking about what could have happened, but it was impossible to purge it from her mind. She was tired of running and waiting on others to take care of things.
She wanted to take some of the control back.
Hans probably didn’t realize just how much information she knew about him and their family operations. Since he’d never gotten his hands on the information in Rafe’s safe, he could only guess what they had on him. Maybe that could work to her advantage. If she could draw him out, maybe they could trick him into incriminating himself in some way. The idea of being anywhere near Hans again made her skin crawl, but it might be the only way to ensure that he was put away.
Her hand went to her abdomen. If he and Jakob weren’t put away, they would always be a threat to her and her unborn child, their own niece or nephew. She shuddered at the thought. Whatever fears she had would have to take a back seat when it came time to bring them down. This was about so much more than her personal history with them. It was about keeping her child and the man she loved safe. She looked over her shoulder.
Rafe was devoted to her. If she didn’t come up with a way to end things with her brothers once and for all, he would put himself at risk to protect her.
But she would have to be careful and strategic. Leaving Rafe wasn’t an option. She understood that now. If she left, he would follow. There was no place she could go where he wouldn’t track her and nothing strong enough to keep him away. Especially now that she was carrying his baby. Rafe would only endanger himself more, trying to find her.
Which meant that she would have to come up with a plan to draw her brothers out that didn’t involve drawing them away from New York.