Chapter Forty-Two

Alex

Damian stood and followed me out of the restaurant.

My heart—that stupid, naïve organ—wanted to rejoice, but I’d let it have its way once, and my eyes had been leaking ever since. No more. This time I’d lead with my brain—my much more trustworthy organ.

Keeping my eyes straight ahead, I marched to the old office and let Damian follow me in. Flipping on the light, I shut the door behind me and sucked in a breath. I didn’t do relationships. And yet, I’d blown off three text messages and one phone call from various flings over the past week. Because the idea of kissing another guy, of being with someone else, made me a little sick. Because somehow, Damian had made me fall for him. I needed this discussion for closure, and then maybe, I’d be able to function again.

“Alex, I’m—”

I cut off his words with a shake of my head. This had to be our final goodbye. I thought I’d be able to talk to him, explain, but I was wrong. It hurt too much. Seeing him hurt too much. I’d always been much better with action anyway. Wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, I pulled him to me and kissed him until he kissed me back. Then all bets were off. My hands flew over the buttons of his crisp dress shirt and pulled them open in record time.

His heart rate sped up under my hand on his chest. The unique scent of Damian filled my nose like a buttery musk that made me want to taste every inch of him. My hands rubbed over his shoulder, and my thumbs danced down his abs.

Damian’s hands explored on their own, moving from my waist to grasp my ass, and then he pulled my leg up around his waist. In this position, there was no missing the generous erection throbbing against his jeans, pushing against my own desperate sex.

Damian pulled back, panting. “I’m so sorry I left, and what I said about you...I was angry and jealous, and I’m sorry. I was so wrong to jump to conclusions, to not trust you.”

I kissed the damaged side of his face and cupped his cheeks in my warm hands. “No, I don’t want words. I can’t.”

The sob broke free, although I’d been doing everything I could to hold it in. I couldn’t discuss us, think about us, or I’d collapse under the weight of knowing this was goodbye. “It wasn’t fair of me to throw your hurt in your face,” I continued. “I can’t even begin to imagine how much you’ve been through.”

“No, your words were harsh, but it was the truth.” He brushed the hair back from my face and gazed into my eyes. “I’ve spent the past three years acting like the world was out to get me. I assumed the worst in people. It’s time I stopped hiding.”

I kissed him again, soft and gentle, before pulling back and whispering in his ear, “I told my dad to take a long walk off a short pier.”

“Well, look at us, acting like real grown-ups and everything.”

I laughed, but the sound got stuck in my throat.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling back to examine me.

“I thought I could do this, but I can’t. It’s too much.” Tears ran freely down my cheeks. “I’m glad we got this moment, this closure, and I’m so damn happy that you’re going to do the documentary. I think it may even help you in the long run.” Getting all the memories out might help free him from the nightmares. Then he really would be free to love someone else, because I knew he hated to burden someone else with his night terrors.

He frowned. “Why does this feel like goodbye?”

I gave him a halfhearted smile. “Because it is.”

Pain blossomed in his expression. “No!” His eyes widened as the realization of what I was saying dawned on him. “It can’t be. I love you, Alex.”

My heart broke at those words. I wanted them, but they weren’t meant for me. I shook my head. “No. Love, real love, shouldn’t hurt like this.” I’d trusted him with my heart once before, and it had taken everything I had to do it. He’d taken that love and shattered it, shattered me. I didn’t have anything left to give. I was tapped out.

“Don’t you get it?” He grasped me by my shoulders. “It’s because we loved one another that it hurt so badly. Believe me, I know what you’ve been feeling. It’s been the same for me, but we can do better, Alex. We can be better. Just give me another chance. This thing between us is too powerful to let go.”

“You don’t even live here.” I shook my head. “No, it’s better this way. We can have a clean break and no more heartache, no more pain.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I do live here. I’ve bought The Palace, my cabin, and I talked to Lake about taking over the sales manager position at the brewery.”

“Wh...what?”

“It’s all worked out, Alex. The only missing part to the puzzle is you, and you’re the heart stone for the whole plan. Without you in the center of my world, none of that other stuff matters. Love isn’t easy, and yes, it does include heartache and pain because we’re both human and make human mistakes. The key is knowing that a simple mistake or even a big one isn’t going to implode everything.

“I love you, Alex, and that means I will always put you first. If I’m hurting you, tell me. If I’m not loving you hard enough, tell me. A wise woman once told me that communication is the key. You’re a PR girl. I think you can handle that part. What do you say? Will you give us a chance?”

I didn’t know what to say. “You’re saying all the right things, Damian, but I’m afraid to hope. I don’t think I could survive losing you again.”

He gave me a soft grin. “Welcome to my world. But you know what I’ve learned...all those risks—both big and small—are easier with you by my side. You make me stronger, more resilient. Let me do the same for you.”

God, I wanted this. And now I knew Damian would protect my heart. But what about his?

“I don’t know how to do this, this relationship thing. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m going to suck at it.” I dragged in a quick breath, because the next words were hard to say and might send him running for the hills. “There’s still a chance I could hurt you, and I can’t make any promises about the future. I just...I don’t have a lot of role models for healthy, committed relationships.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got two best friends who are well on their way to changing that.” Damian pulled me by the waist until my body was flush with his. “You showed me that there was a whole world of people out there, and I was missing out. Now let me show you that I’m the only man in the world you need.”

I nodded, because what in the hell could I say in response to that? Nothing.

So I kissed him instead. While our friends stood outside, still reeling from the lies and sabotage that nearly took us down, I kissed him.

When we finally pulled back, I cupped his scarred cheek. “I love you so much. Tell me this isn’t a dream.”

“If it is, we’re both having it. I, for one, never want to wake up. I love you, too, Alex.” He threaded his fingers through mine. “Everyone else is probably out there with an ear to the door, wondering what we’re doing in a storage closet. We should probably go fill them in and flaunt our love in front of them.”

“Now I know I’m dreaming. Did you just volunteer to go and socialize?”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a changed man. It must be the power of love.”

“Wow, that’s some pretty powerful stuff.” Powerful enough to tame the angry beast, lure a young woman into a place she’d sworn she’d never go, and delivered the promise of a happily ever after.

I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, and for the first time ever, I looked forward to that revelation with hope, not trepidation and fear.