Why am I the one standing here, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world when I’m just protecting my heart?
Lyric is long gone, and I’m still standing half in the hallway, half in my room. Wanting to go after her but making myself wait for her to come around. We can’t just jump back into what we were before. Things have changed. If we’re going to do this, we need to trust each other.
Maybe I shouldn’t have let her fuck my brains out, but I needed it just as much as she did. And I still love her. I may not have said those words, but if she was paying any attention at all, my mouth, my hands, my eyes—they all spoke to her.
Lyric has always been a rock star in the sack. She loves the control. But I’ve never seen her like that. Unbridled. Ravenous. Completely lost in the feel of me. I loved every second of it, and just thinking about this morning will make it difficult for me to stay away from her. But I need to try.
I can’t just give in to her. How do I know she won’t pull the same shit and leave again? I don’t. Not until she knows she can trust me with whatever she’s keeping hidden. So that’s what needs to happen because there’s no denying what we have is incredible. At least, it will be when she’s ready.
“Wolf!” Derrick’s voice blares from my phone. “Hurry your lazy ass up, man. We’ve got rehearsal in five minutes, and Crawley’s got not one, but a few sticks up his ass today.”
As I walk down the stairs to the lobby, I see Derrick pacing back and forth. I hang up on my end of the line and chuckle as I watch him get pissed, thinking I’m ignoring him. Then he sees me crossing the lobby and glares.
I roll my eyes, following him through the sliding glass door to the sidewalk. “When does he not have a stick up his ass?” I laugh.
“Hey, sugar,” Derrick greets a smiling Terese, who’s standing just outside the doors. He swoops her up and kisses her before letting her catch a ride on his back for the rest of the walk to our waiting van. He turns back to me. “I think Lyric’s got Crawley all riled up. She’s already confirming bookings for Europe and emailed him some stuff, but he’s still giving her shit. And you know her. She’s not taking it.”
Terese giggles. “Lyric’s a badass. When’s Crawley going to learn not to mess with her?”
I smirk, agreeing with Terese. “I’ve got plans for that douchebag. Don’t let him get to you. Where’s Lyric?”
“I’m covering for her,” Doug replies as he comes up behind me.
“What? Why?” I’m surprised by my anger, and it takes me a second to realize I’m upset because I was looking forward to seeing her. “She just got back on tour and she’s already bailing?”
Doug chuckles and holds the van door open for me. He eyes Crawley and then leans in. “Dickhead over there has her working on some things for Europe. They went at it this morning in the lobby, so I figured I’d help keep them apart since it’s my last day, anyway.”
I nod. “Fine. Tell me about it later. I’d like to know what he’s got her doing.”
“Sure thing.”
We spend less than an hour at rehearsal, just going through the motions. I think I’m the only one not painfully hungover after last night’s party, but I’m still as distracted as everyone else. I’m preoccupied with thoughts of Lyric’s return and our fight this morning. She’s had this effect on me since the day we met. She’s like a branding iron, scalding and raw upon first kiss, then permanently engrained where it hurts the most: my fucking heart. And nothing I do can make it go away.
Everyone’s still in zombie mode when we get back to the hotel, so we head straight for the restaurant on the first floor and have the waitstaff pull four tables together for us near the back of the restaurant. The crew is loud and boisterous as always, even after a late night of drinking. Until Lyric walks in, that is, and all eyes turn to her. I couldn’t pull mine away if I fucking tried.
She smiles sweetly at Melanie and pulls out the empty chair next to her. I shift, feeling the anger from earlier bubble up within me. If this were a week ago, there would be no question about who Lyric was going to sit next to.
Hedge, who’s chugging a mimosa next to me, must notice my discomfort, because he coughs mid-sip and then stands. “Switch with me, Lyric,” he says. “I need to talk to Stryder.”
Lyric looks panicked for a second as she looks from me to Hedge, but then she stands and comes around the table without arguing—and without making eye contact with me. I haven’t taken my eyes off her since she walked through the door, and the fact that she’s avoiding my gaze pisses me off. But of course, Lyric walks toward me. Always the professional. It doesn’t matter that I kicked her out of my room this morning or that Crawley’s apparently been up her ass.
She sits down beside me and immediately turns toward Terese. What is this shit? She can’t even acknowledge me now? She should be trying harder to earn my forgiveness after leaving me with no promise of return. I shift in my chair noisily, hoping to catch her attention somehow. Like a fucking toddler.
I can feel the eyes of my crew as they wait for my next move. Everyone’s witness to our tension, probably wondering what happened after our fight last night. There’s not much time to dwell on it. I’m distracted by the giggles coming from Terese and Lyric as they chat about something, and then Lyric’s phone starts vibrating.
At this point, I’m the only one paying attention to Lyric besides Terese. Everyone else has gone back to their loud chatter, but I can’t stop looking at her. Her phone vibrates again, and she glances at it. The name Destiny lights up her screen, but the message is hidden. Lyric ignores it and turns back to Terese.
Interesting. I wonder what’s going on there. When it goes off again, I lean in casually to ask Lyric about it, but she swipes her phone from the table and shoves it in her pocket. I frown. More secrets.
Lunch is awkward. Lyric and I don’t speak at all, and when the meal is over, she’s the first one to get up and head back to her room. In typical Wolf fashion, I follow her to the elevator. There are a few crew members readying to get in next, but I silently gesture to them to take another elevator. Rex included. This is one of those times I have to pull the asshole rock star card. I’ll apologize later. When the doors close and we’re alone, I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Is this a coincidence, or are you following me?” Lyric asks flatly.
I look at her, wondering if she’s flirting or angry. Definitely angry. “Following you.”
She turns to face me. “Why?”
I mirror her, crossing my arms across my chest. “Because I can’t stop asking myself why Destiny’s been blowing up your phone and why you aren’t responding to her.”
Lyric narrows her eyes and a flush spreads on her cheeks. “I … I don’t know. She wants something from me, so I’m ignoring her.”
“What does she want from you?”
This is it. The moment of truth. Lyric is either about to change the subject or divulge something she’d rather keep hidden. When she takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, I know she’s about to let me in.
“My mom wants me to work with her. To write for her. Soaring is rebranding her image, and they need fresh songs. She thinks I can help, but I don’t want to. So, I’m avoiding her.”
I know better than to take Lyric’s explanation as the entire story. What she says doesn’t sound so bad, but there’s anger behind her calm exterior.
“Well, I’m sure your mom will get her songs elsewhere. Or maybe she can write her own. She is Destiny Lane, after all. She’ll figure it out.”
Lyric snorts. I’m surprised to hear the sound come from her, and my look of shock doesn’t get past her. She chuckles at my reaction and wipes a tear from her eye. “Destiny’s sure resourceful, but not in the way you would imagine. She’s not the most ethical person when it comes to getting what she wants.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
The ding of the elevator brings us to our floor, and I step back to let her out first. Like always, a feeling of yearning tugs at me, and I want to pull Lyric into my room and make love to her. We had our sexcapades down pat before she left. Every moment we could steal to be alone, we were rolling around naked together. I miss it. Even after our argument this morning, I want her.
“This is me,” she says flatly when we reach her door. “I’ll see you tonight, Wolf.”
She inserts her keycard into the slot, and a dull ache hits my chest as she pushes open the door and steps inside her room.
“Lyric.”
She swivels around, her face lighting up with hope.
I’m not ready to give her hope, so my expression remains blank. “Thank you for telling me that.”
She swallows and nods, the hope fading from her eyes first, smile last. “It’s not easy, you know? I’ve kept it all locked up for as long as I can remember. Just give me time, Wolf. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just…” She swallows. “There’s a lot of shit I need to let go of, and don’t know how.”
I can’t respond. She’s not giving me a choice. She’s not giving me a chance to be someone she can trust. And I’m not sure how long I can settle for the mystery that is Lyric Cassidy.