Chapter 18
Blakely
I didn't go for the Brazilian wax.
I guess I'm just not woman enough. But still, I needed to tame the ‘forsaken kingdom’ in my underwear. Basically, I needed a little grooming in the nether regions. So I (very discreetly) booked an appointment with Prasanna’s in-house esthetician to get the situation under control. Now that I’m all neat and trimmed, I feel mighty fine as I walk into the employee break room after my shift on Friday night.
"Hey Blakes," Isla says with a smile. She’s sitting at the table enjoying a magazine and having a snack after instructing her 6:30 vinyasa flow class.
"Hey."
"Interesting plans for the weekend?" She’s smirking for some reason but I don’t pay it much mind. I’m too lost in my nerves about what’s going to happen once I get home.
Tonight is the night. Tonight is the night.
I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up before the lie even spills out of my mouth. "Nothing special." I turn my back to her and grab a granola bar from the cupboard.
“Really?” She doesn’t look convinced as she takes a sip of her soy hazelnut latte. I’m sure she’ll be wired for hours to come, drinking coffee at this hour of the night.
"Annaleigh is still on honeymoon and Evangeline is probably catwalking her way down some runway in Europe so I don’t have any plans."
"Well, what about a girls’ night out?” she offers, “Just you and me and a few drinks at the Opal Lounge."
Feeling cornered, I bite the inside of my cheek. "Uh, I think I’ll just go home. Put my feet up. Enjoy a movie."
She furrows her brows mockingly. “And let your freshly-coiffed bikini line go to waste?”
I sputter a cough when my snack goes down the wrong pipe.
She knows. God, I’m embarrassed.
"Well, well, well. Look who’s low-key boning her roommate after she said she wasn’t interested in him." She laughs jeeringly. “Did you really think you’d manage to give your va-jay-jay a makeover in my spa and I wouldn’t find out?”
She’s right about one thing – it was silly of me to think that my sister doesn't have tabs on absolutely everything that goes on in this building. "I am not boning my roommate...in the present tense,” I mutter.
"And what does that mean?"
I sigh, trying to act nonchalant as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge. "I sort of asked him to take my virginity."
“What?!” Isla spits out. Her coffee goes flying across the table. I cringe all the way to my toes.
Why the hell did I just admit that out loud? To Isla, no less? She’s going to judge me. She’s going to see me differently. I know that I’m an adult and I shouldn’t care about other people’s opinions of me but her opinion matters. I respect my older sister and I don’t want her to think that I’m a whore.
But I’ve been dying to get this off of my chest.
My roommate is about to pop my cherry. I need someone to tell me that this is crazy…Or that it isn’t. I don’t know. I need to talk it through with someone. Usually that someone would be Annaleigh or even Evangeline. But they’re not here right now. Isla is.
“I asked him to take my virginity.”
She grins deviously. “Go Blakely! Look at you taking charge of your sexuality!”
“Oh my god,” I groan as I sit opposite her. “Am I a whore?”
My sister furrows her brows. “Not at all. It’s the twenty-first century. A woman has every right to ask for what she wants. Especially in the bedroom…But it’s such a bold move. It’s just so…not like you, honey. I’m surprised, I have to say.” She chuckles, flipping a few pages of her magazine. “Looks like your roommate is bringing out the freak in my little Blakely, huh?”
He’s definitely bringing something out in me. There’s a part of me that roars to life every time I’m alone with him. I want to explore that side with him and learn everything there is to know about myself.
I’m silent for a while and Isla glances up at me. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, not second thoughts, per se…I am a little nervous,” I admit.
“He isn’t pressuring you into anything you don’t want to do, is he?” The protective momma bear in her is sharpening her claws. I can tell. That makes me laugh.
“God no! He’s been a perfect gentleman about this. He even asked me to write him a list of the top three things I want to try. Sort of like a sex wish list.” I can’t believe I’m telling her all these things but I can’t shut myself up.
Isla’s eyes light up with excited curiosity. “You’ve got to tell me. What’s on your sex wish list? Spill!”
I toss my head back and laugh. “No way! That’s private!” I still have my boundaries!
She scrunches up her nose at me. “Too filthy for words, huh? You little freak!”
All I can do is laugh. I’m so not about to detail my fantasies to my big sister. I’ve already dished enough secrets for one night.
She reaches over and puts her hand on mine. “As long as you’re sure you’re ready and he’s the person you want to do this with…”
I’m surprised that she’s being supportive. I’d expected her to be scolding and judgmental. But then again, Isla has always been supportive of me even though I haven’t always been eager to open up to her. Maybe it’s safe to be transparent with her, after all.
“I’m ready,” I say, happy and anxious and confident. It’s a mix I can’t remember ever feeling before, “and he’s the person”.
“Good,” she smiles, “then it’ll be beautiful, Blakes. Sex can be a beautiful opportunity to connect with someone on the deepest level.”
For some reason, that statement scares me just a little. I’m not looking for a ‘connection’. I just want to do the deed and learn a few things that I can put in my books. That’s all I’m after. It’s all I want…right?
“Good luck, baby girl.” She pushes away from the table, smoothing out the wrinkles in her shirt. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got to go count some money and pay some bills.”
“Don’t work too late. It’s Friday night, after all,” I call after her.
She waggles a finger in my direction. “You don’t worry about me. Now, go get that cherry popped!”