Chapter Thirty-One
Max
I was sure that I had done the right thing by moving into a different department. It had been a little embarrassing having Madison shout at me in front of everyone, but I’d gotten over it. More than the embarrassment, I did feel bad about walking away from one of the best teams ever. I may have done it for a good reason, but that didn’t make it any easier. As usual, Madison was being a hard ass about it and didn’t seem to want to give me the time of day. I tried talking to her once more, but she told me that she had nothing to say to me.
My new department was different from what I was used to. The team was nice, but they seemed to have no sense of humor whatsoever. People had always told me that I had no sense of humor either, but that was because they never got the chance to know me. Madison had always known that I was constantly joking around. I just seemed to have a very different sense of humor to most people. She got me. And, over time, the other team members had gotten to know me too. We had always had a good laugh together. I was hoping that it would be the same with my new team, or that it would at least develop over time.
But five days in, I still found them to be the most boring people that I had ever met. They were whiny, and stiff, and thought that the jokes I made were in bad taste. I tried to explain to them that the job was tough and that sometimes the only way of getting through the day was by making light of the situation. But none of them agreed with me. They said that it was disrespectful, and I knew that there was no getting through to them. I thought of going back to the chief and asking him for my job back, but every time I imagined Madison laughing at me and telling me that she knew I couldn’t make it without her. I would simply have to grin and bear it. Maybe it just needed time. A week was probably not long enough to really get to know people. The chief had also given me a fairly high-up position, and I suspected that my new team was not too happy about that.
I was just finishing up in the conference room, which was a room shared by all the departments, and about to head back to my desk when I saw Madison. Her head was down, and she was typing something furiously onto her computer. She always had such a serious look on her face when she was busy, and she’d bite down on her lip in concentration. Madison was one of the hardest workers I had ever met in my life, and despite what had happened between us I couldn’t deny that truth. I stared at her and wondered if she would talk to me. After all, it had been a week since the incident, which was plenty of time for her to calm down and realize that I hadn’t done it with a malicious intent. I walked up to her desk and immediately smelled her shampoo. I hadn’t realized what a strong smell of vanilla it had always been, but now that I wasn’t around it all the time, it hit me quickly. My knees felt week at the smell of it, and I tried to push away the memories of her and me together. I’d gotten pretty good at doing that lately.
She looked up and seemed surprised to see me standing there. For a brief second, I could swear I saw a look of kindness on her face. But it changed very quickly into something that could only be described as a smirk.
“Max? I’m busy. What’s up?”
I sighed. “I was thinking of going out to get a cup of coffee. You know how horrible the stuff is here.”
She lifted up a paper cup from her desk. “Somebody went to collect coffees not so long ago. So, no need for me to get anymore. Anyway, I’m too busy to go out. But you go and enjoy yourself. There’s a new café across the street that everyone is raving out.”
I thought about trying to convince her, but I could see that she was in no mood to talk to me. I walked away without saying anything else and made my way back to my desk. The moment I arrived, one of my team members said that we were going out for the day and he needed me there. I grabbed my coat and headed out, grateful to have something to take my mind off everything.
But being busy at work didn’t seem to be working for me. It was a tough day on the job, and it didn’t seem to help that I didn’t get along with the other members. The job had been a lot easier when I actually enjoyed spending time with my partner. Now, though, the minutes seemed to drag, and the day seemed to last forever. When I finally got back to the station, I was exhausted, and I couldn’t wait to get home. It was late, and I was tired, so I decided to head straight to the coffee shop and get myself a cup before going home.
The café was nice and reminded me a little of the Italian café where I’d enjoyed the best pastrami sandwich in the world. I wondered if Madison had come here and thought the same thing. I scrolled through the menu and sighed sadly when I saw that they also offered pastrami and cheese sandwiches. I decided to order one and take it home along with my coffee. I wasn’t in the mood to cook anyway. I took the coffee and the sandwich and headed home, ready to start my Friday night alone.
The moment I got home, I heated up the coffee and the sandwich, both of which had gotten a bit too cold on the drive home, and made my way to the living room. I took a sip of the coffee and grimaced. It wasn’t all that much better than the coffee from the office. Whoever said the coffee was good had been lying to Madison. Although maybe she was just saying that so that I’d go there and have a bad experience. I looked at the sandwich, hoping it would be the redeeming part of the meal, but just one bite told me that I was sadly mistaken. It was okay, but it was nothing like the one I had enjoyed a few weeks ago. I put the coffee aside and finished the sandwich regardless. I had nothing else to eat, and the sad piece of food seemed to suit my mood anyway. When the phone rang, I jumped up in fright, and then felt my heart rate increase at the thought of it being Madison. Of course, it wasn’t her. Instead, it was Xavier. I was still grateful for the interruption.
“Ah, it’s good to hear from you,” I said. “It’s been too long.
“I’ve been meaning to call all week. What’s it like being back at work after all this time? You must be so relieved that you’re not in that safe house anymore. That must’ve been driving you mad. I know how much you like to be at work. Crazy bugger.”
“Ah, it’s okay. It’s pretty exhausting, though.” I stifled a yawn as I said that.
“Yeah? Wow, I didn’t expect you to say that.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard you ever say that about your job. And I know that you’ve been exhausted many times before. Maybe you’re still in recovery. Maybe your body still needs to relax a bit more. Is this not too soon to go back to work?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. I had a checkup with the doctor a few days ago, and he said that I was doing well. He didn’t seem to mind that I was back at work. After everything that I just went through, this is not much stress at all. I think he knows that me staying at home will make me more stressed than me going to work.”
“That’s true. So, why are you exhausted then? Is there something going on or is work just busier than before?”
“I was transferred to a new department. I guess I’m just taking some time getting used to it. I don’t really enjoy working with the new people, that’s all. Maybe I just need some time to warm up to them, or for them to get used to me. It’s only been a week. But today was particularly tiring.”
“What? Why would the chief put you in a new department? That doesn’t make any sense. Surely you should stay where you are. I thought you got along well with him.”
“Oh, I do. He wasn’t the one that moved me. I was the one that requested it.”
“Uh, why would you do that? You’re wonderful at your job. You actually requested to change departments? Why?”
“I just wanted to be away from Madison. I figured this would be the best way to do it. I mean, we can’t avoid the fact that we work together. We’re going to see each other all the time no matter what. But at least now we don’t have to see each other every day.”
“And why exactly would you want to do that? I thought the two of you got along well? I thought you were friends as well as partners?”
“We are, and we do get along well . . . at least, we did. It’s just . . . ah, Xavier, I don’t know anymore. I just don’t want to mess things up for her. She’s been put through so much because of me. Everything was my fault. And we got shoved into that safe house because of me. I’m not sure why she and I even ended up together the way we did.”
“Maybe because you like each other?” he suggested.
“You told me yourself to be careful with the whole thing. You said that Madison wasn’t looking for anything from me and she didn’t want to ruin our working relationship.”
“Well, yeah, I know. But it’s pretty obvious that the two of you care for each other. I think more than either of you are willing to admit. But you can’t just be with her and then pull away from her without any explanation. Hell, I’m not the best when it comes to relationships, but even I can see that it was a shitty thing for you to do.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I said in defense. “I was only doing what was right for the two of us. Now there doesn’t have to be any awkwardness between us because we don’t have to work together. I’ve simplified things.”
“I have to disagree. I think you’ve made things a lot more complicated than they needed to be. Tell me something, Max: do you miss her?”
Do I miss her? Do I miss waking up to her in my arms? Do I miss her lips against mine? Do I miss laughing with her day and in day out? I sighed.
“Yeah. I miss her so much.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here? You need to make things right. Don’t let years of friendship just fall away just because you think you are doing the right thing, or because you don’t want to get hurt. This is crazy, Max. This isn’t like you at all. I thought you liked to fight for things?”
“I do!”
“Well then, what are you waiting for? Fight for her.”