Chapter Twenty-Nine
Max
After the court case, I spent my days holed up in my apartment and trying to decide on whether or not to call Madison. I had put her through a lot of stress in the past few weeks, and because of me, she had almost died twice. I wasn’t sure if I could save her a third time.
I also didn’t know what she thought of me. She’d been my partner for years, and nothing had ever happened with us. Why then were we suddenly together? Was it because I had lost my memories and she felt bad for me? Was I acting differently from the Max that she knew before? Did that mean if I changed back to my old ways that she would stop caring for me? Was I simply something for her to do while we were holed up inside the safe house? I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that Madison was in love with me. If she was, then something would have happened a long time ago. And it was because of the fact that I was falling so deeply for her that I had to pull away. It wasn’t fair on either of us. If she got too close to me, then being around me could get her into trouble. After all, just because the boss was in jail didn’t mean that we were completely out of the woods in terms of our safety. If she didn’t want to be with me, but I wanted to be with her, then it was best that I pulled away now. No matter how much I looked into it, it always boiled down to me not getting too involved.
I went to work with a lot of trepidation that day. I got there earlier than usual because I had asked the chief if I could have a meeting with him alone. The chief was always at work before everyone else, so he didn’t seem to mind at all. The moment he saw me, he called me in, and I closed the door behind me.
“Welcome back, Max. I’ve got to say; it’s really good to have you here. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling okay. I’m just so glad to be back. There was no way I could’ve stayed on at home much longer. I’ve missed being at work too much.”
“You were always one of our hardest workers. That’s why I wanted to have you back so much. All these other guys look like slackers compared to you. Well, except for Madison of course. She’s just the same as you. Did you want her to be in this meeting too? I haven’t seen her yet, but we can wait if you like?”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t want her here. Actually, she’s one of the reasons why I called this meeting. I wanted to talk to you about her.”
“About her and not with her. That’s unusual. Is everything okay?”
I nodded. I was not going to tell the chief about what had happened between Madison and me. As far as I was concerned, that was just between the two of us, and nobody else had to know about it. I knew she wouldn’t take too kindly to me telling everyone about us sleeping together. That was something I tried not to think about myself too much either. It was better this way. I could just add it to a part of my memory that couldn’t be retrieved. It could become a ‘lost’ memory.
I sighed. “Yes, everything is fine. I just think it would be better if I was transferred to another department.”
The chief narrowed his eyes at me. “Transferred? Does this mean that you don’t want to be partners with Madison anymore either? Or does she want to be transferred too?”
“No, I want to be transferred alone. Just me. I think, after everything that has happened, that I just need to do something different. I need a break from all of this.”
“Okay, that’s fine, I do understand that. After what you’ve been through, I would probably be the same. But are you sure something hasn’t happened between you and Madison? This all just seems very sudden.”
I nodded. “Nothing has happened between us. But I’ve put her through a lot over the last year. She was by my side throughout the entire year acting as undercover cops, and then she was with me throughout the fallout. Nothing happened with us, but I think it’s best that we went our separate ways for a while. That way, we can both get over how traumatic this has all been.”
The chief sat back in his chair and considered what I was telling him. “Well, I can understand why you want to do this. Yes, I’m sure that is probably the best thing. But, the two of you have always worked so well together. You always said that you didn’t want to be on a team with anyone else. I just find this a little strange. Have you spoken to Madison about it?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t. I wanted to run it by you first and see what you thought. I just thought it would be good to take a break from what we usually do. We can always become partners again, but I think if we spend too much time together, we’re just going to constantly think about what happened. And the last thing we need is for this to get in the way of our current work.” I hoped that the chief wouldn’t see past my words. Thankfully, he was a lot gentler with me after what had happened. I decided to play those cards a bit more while I could.
“The thing is,” I said to the chief. “The doctor told me not to stress, and that’s all I’ve been doing lately. I’ve probably stressed more now than I have in my whole life. Which is the complete opposite of what I should be doing. Being with Madison and being in the same department is just going to remind me too much of what has happened. I need a clean break for a while just to clear my head. I hope that makes sense, and I’m sorry to mess you around like this. I just really want things to go back to normal, and I think that this is the best way to do it.”
I was glad to see the chief nodding along to what I was saying. Playing the sympathy card seemed to be working.
“Only you know what is best for you. And I would way rather have you working with us and feeling comfortable than working for us and being stressed out. Let’s put you in another department and get you a new partner for the time being. We can assess the situation in a few months’ time and see if it’s working for everyone. Although, I have a feeling you will thrive no matter which department you are in.”
I breathed out in relief. I hadn’t realized how tense I had been until that moment. It would be much easier to forget about Madison if I wasn’t on the same team as her. This was definitely the right thing to do, and I was glad that I had the chief on my side. I shot him a grateful smile and told him how much I appreciate him helping me out.
“You’re going to be fine, Max. It’s been a crazy time, but you will be fine. This works for me. As long as you’re back, I don’t really mind what department you’re in.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Oh look, there’s Madison. Wow, she’s in early today. You see, the two of you are just the same. Both workaholics. Your poor new partners are going to go crazy with you around. But maybe this is a good thing. I need some other people to work as hard as you. You might inspire them to do the same. All right, let me call her in so that we can discuss how this is all going to work going forward.”
The chief got up and opened the door before I had a chance to stop him. I had hoped he would talk to Madison without me. But asking him to do that now would only make him think that something had happened. I groaned inwardly as I heard him call for Madison.
“Madison, come on in. I have Max here. We want to have a quick meeting before the day starts.”
Madison walked in, and I gulped. She looked so beautiful. Even in her uniform. Even with her hair tied back and not a scrap of makeup on. Madison was beautiful. I smiled tersely at her.
“Morning,” I said.
“Morning,” she said back and sat down beside me.
Her perfume came drifting towards me, and I tried not to think about what it was like to be with her. No, I had done the right thing. Madison was not interested in me at all. I was doing us both a favor.