My father summons me to his office as soon as I arrive at Pierce Industries.

On the way up, I try to look like nothing is wrong, like my tardiness is a result of a weekend-long bender. It should be easy enough to explain. I haven’t been at the Swan much in the past few weeks, but who cares? I certainly haven’t been shutting down the place like I used to.

His secretary makes me wait, which is a sure sign that he’s irritated about something. When he finally comes out from behind his door to wave me back nearly ten minutes later, I’ve almost stopped caring. If I stop moving, even for a second, I’m flooded with thoughts of Quinn.

She’s the only thing that matters to me, even if she’s gone.

My father walks back around to his seat behind his desk and sits down, glancing at his computer screen. I follow his lead, taking my seat across from him in front of the desk, and wait while he clicks at something.

The silence lasts for a long thirty seconds.

Then he turns away from the computer, crosses his arms in front of him, and speaks.

“It’s a bad habit to get into, son.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. “Which habit are we talking about?”

“Strolling into the office halfway through the afternoon.”

I cross my own arms over my chest and nod. “It’s not a habit until you’ve done it twice.”

“Remember that the next time you’re tempted to sleep late.”

My father says this neutrally, with no hint of mockery.

Then the corners of his mouth turn up, and his eyes glint in the light coming through his windows. “It must have been one hell of a party.”

I return his smile automatically, and the lie comes easily to my lips.

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Listen,” he says, uncrossing his arms. “I’m impressed with the work HRM is doing for you. Who did they assign the account to? I’d like to send him my thanks.”

My throat tightens, and I cover my mouth with my hand, pretending to cough while I swallow painfully. “It’s a she, actually. Quinn Campbell.”

“Quinn Campbell,” my father says thoughtfully, testing her name in his mouth.

I wish I were telling him the name of the woman I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. I want him to be saying her name, then asking me more about her. I want him to say her name again when I introduce the two of them, and having him shake my hand, congratulating me on finding the perfect woman, a woman far too good for me, a woman I will never regret marrying.

Instead, he’s saying the name of the woman who is going to be forced to work with me for the foreseeable future even though my despicable behavior has destroyed any chance of me ever being with her.

“The woman deserves a raise,” he says finally, slapping a hand down on the surface of his desk.

It’s a struggle to keep the smile on my face. “She does.”

My father considers me. “It’s not all her, though, is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My tone is light, almost teasing, but I honestly have no idea what he’s referring to.

“Not one person has come to my office to tell me that you’ve been in the tabloids in, what, three weeks? That’s unheard of, Chris.”

I shrug. “Needed a break.”

“You sure that’s it?” My father gives me a conspiratorial grin. “It seems awfully sudden for you to drop out of the scene.”

“What do you know about the scene?” I say, rolling my eyes, even though my heart is pounding so hard against my rib cage that I’m surprised it doesn’t burst out and fall to the floor.

“Nothing,” he says, his eyes still twinkling. “I thought maybe there was a woman involved.”

My half smile isn’t genuine, but he seems not to notice. “I’m always involved with a woman, one way or another.”

He gives me a chuckle. “You’re like me. Well, the way I was, in my younger days.” As he says it, something flashes in his eyes for a split second—too quickly for me to pinpoint the expression. “Never mind all that. I thought the sudden absence from the gossip pages meant you had someone a little more…permanent in your life.”

This conversation is killing me. Of course I had someone more permanent in mind. What other reason could I have for making such an abrupt change to the identity I’ve been cultivating for a full decade? Only love…

The thought brings me up short, but I can’t let myself off the hook. Not this time.

Only love would bring a man to that conclusion.

Real love, raw love, the kind of love that strips away all the bullshit from your life, even if you don’t want it to, even if you’re begging for it not to.

I loved Quinn like that.

I love Quinn like that.

I’ll never stop loving Quinn like that.

I know that now.

“When I find a woman who will keep me out of the gossip sites, you’ll be…among the first fifty people to know,” I say, keeping my tone light through enormous effort. This meeting has to end soon, because there are things I need to figure out.

Things I need to do.

I stand up from the chair and smooth out my jacket, giving my father a grin that matches his. This time, it almost feels real.

At the door, I pause a moment and turn back to address my father.

“I know it’s a bad habit,” I say jauntily, with the kind of attitude I know my father loved from the real Christian, “but I’m going to lean into it today. There’s something I need to do. Don’t rat me out to management, okay?”

My father shakes his head, his smile giving him away. With one hand he waves me out of the office. As I turn away, I hear him say one more thing, “That’s my boy.”