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Embers of Anger (Embattled Hearts Book 1) by Anna St. Claire (20)

Chapter 21

Jackson wasn’t sure what to make of Marshall’s questions. Did he recognize Nolan? He had given him free reign with the questions. Nolan’s appearance seemed too coincidental. He had just shown up, as he said, but there had been and still were posse combing the surrounding area looking for any renegades, and they were looking for him as Private White. 

There had been no leads on Private White. The whole thing frustrated him leading him to wonder if White even existed—though he had met him.

How had one man slipped through the lines? Even more perplexing was the question of how he had gotten to the house after the kidnapping. There was more to this, he knew it. Patience, he reminded himself.

It was Jackson’s job to take Whitford prisoner, but if he did that—no, when he did that—it would be the end of anything he might have with Ella.

His body warmed at the thought of her. She was no longer sharp and dismissive with him. Her tone had softened, and after the rescue, he was certain there was a spark of interest—or at least she had relaxed considerably towards him. Hope took root.

Whenever Ella smiled in his direction, his heart felt hopeful, not weighted down by the dismalness and death of this war. Aiden’s tearful description of her kidnapping brought him to his knees. The guards that missed those men were still working off his anger. The thought of her hurt had all but sucked the life out of him. He’d had to find her. The moment he had seen her, he felt rescued. Would she be able to feel for him what he felt for her…ever?

Who was he kidding? This was wartime. Her brother was on the other side, and he was Jackson’s prisoner. Hadn’t he said as much? Definitely, a non-starter.

Her brother wants what is best for her, his heart kept whispering in his head. I can handle this. I just need a strategy—one that keeps Marshall from knowing Whitford’s other identity.

Jackson fought to sort out his conflicted feelings. He was not a man of inaction. He needed to decide on his approach. If they both suspected Nolan was a spy and didn’t arrest him, not only would it mean his career, but Marshall’s as well.

He would not risk Marshall’s career. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what he was willing to risk.

Jackson reached into his pocket and found the familiar pencil nub. He pressed on it and rolled it around for comfort. Why sacrifice anything? I can work this out. Her brother loves her.

Schooling his features, Jackson moved to the front of his desk and perched on the corner, leaning forward and looking at Nolan.

“Whitford, I like you. I think if this war wasn’t a factor, we might be good friends. I asked you earlier about your dog, Rover. The reason was to find out—” Jackson spoke slowly and paused for effect.

“More about me,” Nolan finished the sentence. “I understood what you were doing. I don’t mind, actually. Rover meant a lot to my family. I rather enjoyed reminiscing about him. I admit it took me a while to understand why we were discussing my deceased pet.”

Jackson had not expected such candor.

“We are sworn, enemies. You are also in my home, suh.” Nolan recounted, his ire rising. “I felt my sister was in danger and I love my sister. I…” His comment trailed off.

“Let’s be candid, Whitford. It’s just you and me right now. Obviously, there is more to your story. Depending on what I find out and what I’m comfortable with, I may have to arrest you. It’s no secret that I am rather fond of your sister. I know she is an honest person. She also loves her family.” Jackson stopped and pushed his hand through his hair. “I’m not sure why I’m taking this chance.”

Chance?” Nolan looked up, his attention riveted to Jackson’s eyes.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m dealing with here. I know you are a smart fella. You handle yourself with more aplomb than the average soldier.” He blew out a long exhale. “Look, I confess I find myself in a bit of a pickle. I can divest myself of the problem. But for the first time in a long time, I would like to see if my relationship with Ella has a future.”

“Whoa! I knew of the attraction. Hell, everyone can see that. But what relationship?” Nolan pushed up from his chair, all but shouting.

“There is a connection between your sister and me.” Jackson stood nose to nose with him, locked in a glare with Nolan. “You will sit down, sir,” he ordered, his words coming out deliberately, his eyes never moving from his opponent’s face. “She has not only my support but my respect.”

Nolan gave the barest nod, and returned to his seat, his face unflinching.

Resolved, Jackson sat on the corner of his desk, still facing Nolan. “My choices are few. If you are arrested, she will see my involvement, obviously, and I will never have that chance.” This was his heart speaking, obviously, set on mucking things up. Jackson persisted. “If you take the pledge, word will get out you are a Confederate soldier. In other towns, we have had questionable—no, bad activity towards Confederate soldiers that have come forward. I can account for most of my men, but I am one of three placed in provost positions.” He lowered his voice. “This war won’t last much longer, and God willing, I would like to think I will outlast it.”

Nolan was silent.

“You aren’t making this easy, Whitford. I thought I was in charge here. Maybe I’m slipping.” He grinned. “What I’m asking you is for permission to court your sister.”

Nolan sat silent for a moment, his eyes impenetrable to Jackson. “Do you love her?”

Jackson shifted uncomfortably. “I think so, yes. What I mean is that it’s been a long time since anyone affected me the way Ella does. I am…” His voice trailed off. “Yes. I am in love with her.” He looked Nolan in the eye.

“And your intentions? What are they?”

“I have not spoken of anything with Ella. She’s hated my very existence until recently.” He smiled, half to himself. “But I think she is mellowing towards me. Surely you noticed the repair to the ceiling in the foyer? Her gun went off the first day I came here.”

Nolan cleared his throat. “Yet she missed. Suh, my sister, and my brother mean everything. They are the reason my life is in the position it is in at this moment… sitting here with you, my very existence on the line.” He shifted in his seat and leaned towards Jackson. “How you know you feel about my sister means a great deal. Can you allow me the insight on your intentions?” He paused. “I warn you, suh. If it is other than marriage, let me tell you now, I will not agree.”

Jackson pulled the pencil nub he had been turning from his pocket and placed it on the desk beside him. Crossing his arms, he considered the man in front of him. “Whitford… er… Nolan, you seem to be the protective brother Ella has spoken of, and I can attest that your sister displays similar bravery to yours. She would die for her family, I believe.” A moment of silence passed.

The question loomed over him. Jackson swallowed, and he realized that his heart had been completely taken over by one Confederate belle. “Yes, I would like to pursue Ella with the hope of marriage. However, we are still getting to know each other. I had not planned to get married too soon.”

“So, you would string her along? While I cannot fathom liking my sister and my property in the hands of the enemy, I will not see her heart broken.” Nolan glared, his eyes shooting daggers.

Jackson fought the urge to be sarcastic, considering Nolan was his prisoner. But this was also Ella’s brother. He felt challenged, just as he was when he had faced Maria’s father years ago. He shook off any appearance of nonchalance. “No, of course not! I am a gentleman and an officer. I would do nothing to hurt Ella. My intentions are honorable. I want to court her, with your permission, as difficult as it seems in this environment.”

Nolan narrowed his eyes, and his voice was tight. “Ella is a grown woman, I won’t tell her what to do. But I can’t like her aligning with the Union.” He rested his hands on his thighs, leaned forward, and locked eyes with Jackson. “Make sure she doesn’t get hurt.”

“Well, that brings me back to my initial point. I am proposing that you disappear.”

Nolan raised his eyebrows, looking alarmed.

“That didn’t come out right. Look Whitford, there is something I have not conferred. There have been problems with young Confederate soldiers coming home and disappearing. I can’t believe I’m discussing this.” He shook his head. “I suspect it is an officer within our ranks, but I cannot prove it yet. Marshall and I are suspicious of one or two people. And I don’t want to take a chance with your life.” He let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

“I will let you go. I want you to leave. Tell me what I can do to make that happen. I know this is probably a mistake, and I could lose my career, but I’m willing to take a chance on you. Don’t ask me why. Don’t make me regret this decision.”

Jackson got up and walked to the corner of the room and opened the top flap to the glass book cabinet. He pushed the false books out of the front and pulled out a bottle of brandy and two glasses, setting them down on the desk between them. Nolan had heart and loyalty, evidenced by his willingness to risk his own life to save his sister. There was no doubt in Jackson’s mind that Whitford would trade his life for Ella’s.

He noted Nolan’s amused smile. Waving at the brandy, he smiled back. “Would you have one with me? I discovered this hiding place a week ago, and it seems a great place for concealing libations.”

Nolan’s eyebrows rose slightly. Jackson nodded towards the cabinet to his left, “I noticed the cabinet stock has not been touched in a while, and I felt no need to use your house liquor.”

This will be the toughest thing I think I’ve had to do in this war, seeing this through, but it’s what I have to do.

He needed this drink if this would continue, and hoped that wherever Marshall was working, he stayed there.

Jackson passed a glass with a couple fingers of brandy to Nolan. He raised his glass and was met with a stare. Leaning forward, Jackson took a swig. “Ah well, we are at least making progress. And this helps clear things up.”

* * *

Nolan studied Jackson from across the desk. This was surely not what he thought would be discussed. He had suspected his sister was interested in this man, and he was right. The man had control of his home, his library, and his booze, but he was taking good care of it, and he didn’t appear to be abusing his position or his sister. The alcohol still sat in the cabinet in the same spot where he had left it after he and his dad toasted, just before he had left the previous April.

If not for the war, he agreed with Jackson, they would be great friends. Maybe they still could be, if he could trust him… at least with his home and his family. He suspected—call him crazy—that Marshall had an interest in Sara, but he planned to handle that. He wanted more time with Sara before he left, not knowing how long it might be before he saw her again.

“You must have some thoughts on what we’ve discussed. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear them.”

Jackson’s remark jolted him from his musings. “Yes, I do, as a matter-of-fact. I believe we have points to… discuss.” His sentence waned as a noise outside the door to the library caught his attention. Nolan put his finger to his lips and jumped up.

He stepped quickly and opened the door. Aiden lost his balance and stumbled into the room, landing in a heap with Bo right behind him. Nolan helped his brother up from the floor. Aiden dusted off his pants and seemed unconcerned at having been caught eavesdropping. He casually walked over to Nolan. It was almost as if he understood the elephant in the room.

“Nolan, when you gonna get back to work?” His absence from home had been explained to Aiden as a job—his military job to serve his country. His little brother didn’t think past the concept of working and not working. Nolan hadn’t understood the impact of what had taken place on the land around him until the simplicity of his brother’s question caught him off guard.

“Not sure, little man. But you know I will take you fishing before I have to go, so you don’t worry too much.” He ruffled his brother’s hair.

“But I want to know. I asked Lieutenant… uh,” he looked up at Jackson, “I asked Mr. Marshall, but he won’t answer my questions. He sits there with Miss Sara and they talk in the parlor.” Aiden folded his arms and looked at his brother, waiting for an answer to his question.

Nolan stiffened. Tousling his brother’s hair, he smiled. “I will be going back to work soon, and I want to take you fishing before I do, but maybe not today.”

“But why? There ain’t no clouds today. Miss Sara is working on a dress for Ella and Ella is taking a nap. If I go near there, Lizzy will make Bo and me take a nap, too. I’d rather go fishing.” He wrinkled his nose.

“Well, it’s almost somebody’s birthday, and it could be we”—he nodded at Jackson— “were having a private conversation.” Nolan narrowed his eyes at Aiden, making his point. It was hard to get upset with him.

“Oh brudder, Bo.” Aiden’s voice was somber. “It looks like everyone has better things to do than spend time with us.” Eyeing the two men, he continued. “Don’t forget your promise. You said you would take me fishing.”

“Yes. Now you head upstairs and catch that nap. You have been through a lot these past few days. I will be up to talk to you later.”

The little boy and his puppy reluctantly left the room.

The door closed softly behind them. Nolan was still fixated on what was going on in the parlor. What was Marshall up to with his girl?  He understood that she probably had said nothing about them, so he would have to just solve this problem a different way.

He was unsettled about what to say to Jackson but decided to trust him—a little. “I need a Confederate uniform. My uniform has been lost.” Nolan didn’t miss the look that passed over Jackson’s face. He didn’t want to say or do anything that could change the way things were going for him. “I appreciate you aren’t in the habit of outfitting our side. I can probably get one issued once I get back.”

Where exactly is it you will get back to, Nolan?”

Nolan eyed him before trusting him. “I need to head upriver to the Lenoir County area and catch up with my men. They are waiting.”

“Your men?”

“Yes. I have not been exactly honest where my position is concerned. I feel that for the sake of our relationship, I should let you know that my rank is that of Lieutenant Colonel. I am a graduate of the Citadel.” His eyes followed Jackson’s every move and reaction as he spoke to him. He thought about how he could end this conversation without spilling the beans about the runner who had been keeping him flush with current information on his men. “I’m sure you understand my hesitation in sharing this with you and the lieutenant colonel earlier.”

Jackson sat in silence for a long minute. “Okay, I will accept that. Is there anything else you might want to tell me? I warn you, I am already struggling with what I have discovered you have done. I don’t suppose you would care to enlighten me as to why you were in my unit posing as a private?”

“Not really, suh. Is it okay if I call you Jackson since you are calling me Nolan? I do realize you have the upper hand here, but it would make it more comfortable.” Nolan reached for his brandy and studied the glass for a moment. “I will say that the mission was unsuccessful, and it won’t be repeated. I cannot say more. I’m sure you understand.”

“Yes.” Jackson swirled his brandy, slowly, thoughtfully. He didn’t doubt that what Nolan told him was true. “I trust you, Nolan. I hope someday we will be friends and not just brothers by marriage.” His mouth turned up at the corner. “But for now, you will leave the day after tomorrow, so say your goodbyes with no one being the wiser. You will slip off without the formal opportunity to say much of a goodbye. I am risking my neck here, and I’ve rather formed an attachment to it. Don’t make me sorry.”

“Agreed. I will be ready. I would like to take Aiden fishing. That will be my goodbye to him until this conflict ends.” Resignation etched on his face, Nolan took a swig of his brandy. He swallowed, but the large knot that had suddenly risen in his throat made it difficult. He would miss his family. It had been hard enough to leave the first time.

He had hoped this war would be over quickly, but now he felt differently. He didn’t see a resolution that would work for both sides. Would he live to see the end of it? The pain was raw and as sharp as a knife to the gut.

He wanted to give Ella some brotherly advice about this relationship with Jackson. He winced. She wouldn’t like it. She’d probably reject it, but he was her brother and it was his duty to protect his sister’s heart.

He had watched them together and knew her heart to be already engaged even if she didn’t realize it yet. He thought about his approach. It would be fruitless to be negative about the relationship. He wasn’t, and that felt odd.

It was important that he speak to Sara soon. Nolan downed the rest of his brandy. Jackson had gone to catch up with Marshall. He was sure that he would not share their conversation, knowing that Jackson’s honor would not allow him to jeopardize his friend’s life and career. Nolan knew he was lucky Jackson was an honorable man.

Setting down his glass, he left the room to find Sara. Marshall’s pursuit of his girl angered him, but he trusted Sara. He could not give her any details, but he would share his hope that they would be together soon.

It was time for goodbyes.

Two days.

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