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Embers of Anger (Embattled Hearts Book 1) by Anna St. Claire (12)

Chapter 13

Two weeks had passed since the hurricane. She had checked every day on Nolan. He was getting better. Soon he would need to leave. She knew that. Nolan was well enough to express his anger over Jackson’s presence, and he was doing just that every time she saw him. It was tiring.

Ella had a difficult time explaining their presence to her brother. She didn’t fully understand it herself. It was as if they appeared one day and said they were staying. Well, that is what they did. Ella almost defended their stay, and even to her thinking, that was too far. However, there were benefits. She caught herself smiling at the thought.

She could not argue that she felt safer. Stories she heard in town about desperate men seen on the fringes of the countryside frightened her. Jackson immediately sent a squad out to find them. His job was to keep the town calm and safe.

She constantly worried about Nolan being found. Truthfully, as much as she loved her brother, her gut was in a constant churn over the possibility of Nolan being found here. She knew that would be bad for him. He could be shot or hanged.

Nolan made no secret that he was bored and wanted to get back to his unit. His unit was in Kinston, about forty-five miles west. As hard as it was for her to see him go, knowing he would at least be nearby felt a little better. She had not even known where he was since he left for the war until he showed up the day of the storm. She hated him being sick and knowing this could come back on him if he wasn’t careful concerned her. Hopefully, Ol’ Indie could give him something to help him if he got it again.

Jackson and Marshall were off doing maneuvers with the men, or something. An officer named Foster had asked them to work with them. She eavesdropped as much as she could on their conversation in the library.  Unsure what she was listening for, she told herself she would know it when she heard it. Ella stayed as vigilant as possible, so she wouldn't get caught, but if she did, what could they say? It was her library. Well, Nolan’s.

When the men left the library, she was only aware that they were leaving. She very much wanted to speak to her brother. This was the perfect opportunity.

Lizzy had Aiden occupied upstairs doing lessons on his math and other studies. Ella could not find a better time not to be disturbed. Lizzy was a blessing, and a big help. Teaching her math and reading years ago had been one of the best things she had ever done, for so many reasons. Now she could be gladder for it because Aiden listened to Lizzy cipher better than her.

Curiously, Lizzy refused to let any man see her cipher. She did her ciphering when the men left the house. But she helped with the books, and that was a great help to Ella.

She pulled the entry hall closet door closed and tapped on the wall in front of her as she had been taught and a panel opened, gaining her entrance to a hidden underground room.

The room smelled better. His sickness had cleared, and he was getting his strength back. It’s strange how sickness can dominate the smell of a room. It reminded her of her mother’s room. Momma lingered for a short time once Aiden was born but never recovered. Her room always had that certain sweet smell.

“Nolan? You awake? I brought you refreshments.” Ella moved carefully down the steps, balancing the cool pitcher of tea and the basket of biscuits and marmalade.

“Sis! You remembered. Thank you. Marmalade. I love it.” Nolan had the biscuits and jelly out of her hands before she could clear the final step. The fact he was up and about made her happy and sad at the same time.

“Hi, Ol’ Indie. I didn’t realize you were still here. Let me fetch another glass, and we can all share the tea and biscuits.”

“Chile, I’m fine. You don't need to run back up those stairs. You and your brother just sit a spell and enjoy each other’s company. The older woman walked over to a chair by the stove and sat down. “Now yu’uns can talk, Ol’ Indie will just close her eyes and nap a spell. Massa Nole, you mos well now, but need to take it easy. We still got to keep you quiet or de fever might come back. We need a few mo days here. I sho don’t want you to fall sick and Ol’ Indie can’t be dare.”

“Thank you for all that you have done.” Ella looked over at her brother lying casually on the cot with one arm propped behind his pillow. “Nolan, now that you are feeling better, I want to ask you a few things before Carter and his mamma take you to your men. I am curious.” Pulling out one of the only chairs around the table, Ella smoothed her skirt and got comfortable.

“I promise. I will just sit here and talk to you. I know you want to know what I can’t tell you, but I will tell what I can.” Pausing, he looked at Ella, who sat quietly and stared at him, her hands folded in her lap and a curious smile on her face.

“You know the rules. You get to ask a question and then it’s my turn to ask.” A smile lit up Nolan’s face as he returned his sister’s attention.

Ella looked him in the eye. “I’m first. Okay. Why were you wearing a Union uniform when we found you? You must know we’re curious. What have you been up to, dear brother?” She dragged the last word out.

“Whoa. That’s two questions.” He laughed. “I cannot answer either of them. So, you get another question. That’s the rules.”

“Confounded army!” Ella muttered and glared at Nolan.

Ol’ Indie opened one eye and looked over at the two. “Now, Massa Nole, if you don’t tell her that you were shooting on the other side, I’m gonna do it.”

Ol’ Indie’s remarks took him by surprise.

“What? You’re a traitor?” Ella covered her mouth with her hand, shocked.

Ella’s shocked response brought his focus back to her. “‘Course not!”

“Well, what am I to think? You were in a tattered Union uniform when you arrived. Now I hear that you were firing on your friends? Nolan! How could you?” Ella pushed back from the table and stood, covering her stomach with her hands. She felt sick. “It was no wonder Papa never found you, you were in the wrong army!”

“No, Ella, you have it wrong.” He walked to her and grabbed her shoulders. “No way would I be a traitor. I was…” He looked down. “Okay. Look. Look, I was spying. There! I told you both. You should know that knowing this puts you in danger. You cannot tell anyone.”

Ella stood there, shocked. She wanted to understand, but all she could feel was anger. Her brother was spying? “They will hang you if you are caught. And what about Aiden, Lizzy and Carter—and everyone else? I can take care of myself, but they rely on us, on me. We must get you out of here as soon as we can.”

“Ella. Calm down. I don’t intend to be found. No one knows of this room, do they? I plan to leave in a couple of days.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down.” She lowered her voice to an angry whisper. “You promised me you would take care of yourself. You think spying is a good thing?”

“Yes, I did promise. And no, spying is not good, but it is necessary in these difficult times.”

“Well, you say you have plans. Can you share them?” Her eyes narrowed, she sat back in the chair and crossed her arms.

“I know you may not understand, but I am an officer and I have to do my duty. Share none of this with Aiden. He will ask questions. If he asks, tell him I had my uniform taken and they left me with that one.” He looked away for a moment. “I was on a mission. It failed. I failed. But I have to get back to Kinston, to my men, so I can report what I saw. I must get back there soon.”

“Well, what did you see?” She knew he would get irritated, but she wanted to know.

“Ella, you go too far. I cannot discuss that, and I will not discuss that.” Seeing she would not be satisfied, he continued, “I was more concerned about what I saw happening on our side.”

Our side? But we lost the battle…” She was afraid to hear what he had to say. Boys she had grown up had lost their lives. If she heard something she didn’t want to, it would diminish them somehow. If she knew that they did something wrong, it would make her feel awful, but not knowing was killing her. She had to know. How could she get him to tell her?

“I see that look on your face. We will not discuss my mission further, beyond how it affected me. I have to get to my men and report. What happened wasn’t what I expected, but since I saw what took place, I have to report it.”

“How were you supposed to get to your men?”

“I cannot discuss that.” A crooked smile lit his face. “Now, it’s my turn to ask questions.” He pointed at the ceiling. “First, what is the Union army doing here?”

“They are here because this land offers them a good place to set up what they call a per-i-meter camp.” She sounded the one word out slowly. “I still don’t understand why they came out here, but they have been very helpful, and they are paying me for the use of the land.”

“Right. They are building their skills to kill more of our Confederate brothers and using our land to do it.”

“No. Well, I guess they are training, but they are more about keeping the peace. I’m alone, Nolan. Except for the few hands we still have, Carter and Jason are the only men I can rely on for help, and…Nolan, I don’t know if I’m just imagining this, but Jason acts very strange. I find him watching me. He leers. He insists on driving me to town if he finds out I’m going. I’ve tried to go without him because I am afraid of him.”

“You made trips by yourself to town?” he interrupted, disbelief and anger evident. “I remember seeing a woman fighting to control her wagon on the road here. I wasn’t sure at the time, but now I realize it was you.”

“What? You saw me? Where were you?”

“Ella, what did I tell you about the dangers? You promised me.”

“Nolan, lower your voice, please!” He saw her that day. His presence was what spooked Bess. “I just explained—”

“And you worry about a little harmless attention. Compared with being set upon by some deserter or a runaway slave intent on harm, you single out flirting?”

He wasn’t listening. She was tired of men thinking they knew it all. “You are right about the deserters but please… about Jason—”

Nolan interrupted her. “I don’t believe you need to worry about Jason. He’s harmless.”

“And you are so sure of that? I too, remember the day Bess got spooked. You spooked her.” She shook her head in disbelief. “You cut me off and won't even take my concerns seriously. I am not comfortable with him. He leers, and is always watching me…”

“Ella, I didn’t know I spooked Bess. I was sick and stumbled out of the brush, but you were already beyond me. But it could have been someone else coming out of the brush. That is a reason you should not be driving alone. And Jason—has he said anything inappropriate to you?”

“No. I said it’s the way he watches me and it's what he does. He wears a weird smile when he looks at me, and he moves entirely too close to me on the buggy.” She heaved a sigh. “I know you worry about me, but you aren’t listening. You won’t even try to see things from my point of view. I can see this exchange is going nowhere, so we might as well stop now.” As long as she had the colonel at the house, she would feel safe. No way could she say that to Nolan.

“Going back to an earlier question, sister—how long are they staying?”

“I don’t know.” She wanted to change the topic. “Do you plan to see Sara?” Ella narrowed her eyes.

At the mention of Sara, Nolan looked away. “Yes, I would love to see her, but I don’t know how to make that happen.” He glanced up at Ella.

“Well, maybe you should leave that to me. You focus on getting better.” Ella got up and gave her older brother a big kiss on his forehead. “I’m glad you are home. I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances. I’ve got to get back upstairs before I’m missed. A man named Foster came to see Colonel Ross and they are outside doing the maneuvers. He must be very important because everyone saluted.” She squeezed his hand. “Nolan, I don’t want anyone looking for me.”

A soft snore rent the air and she looked over where Ol’ Indie was spread out on the chair. Softly, she reached over and touched her arm.

The older woman woke with a jerk. “What? Oh, Miss Ella. I must have dozed off. Please, ‘scuse me.”

“I hate to wake you, but I need to head upstairs. Please let me know if you need anything else for Nolan. You have done such a good job doctoring him.” She kissed the old woman on the forehead. “We love you and appreciate it.”

Nolan touched her arm. “Wait! You said Foster? What did he look like?”

“Oh, I don’t know. He wore an officer’s uniform. Dark hair. Broad hat. Mustache. Nothing much to look at, if you asked me.” She covered her mouth, embarrassed, her face heated behind her hand.

“If you hear anything, please let me know. I understand he is over all of the troops here. He is smart, likes order, and has placed two of his most trusted men here. He is likely to share something that could be useful to me. You may hear things.” Nolan thought for a moment. “I wish he was on our side.”

“And what if I hear something? What could you do with that information? You are stuck here.”

“Just let me know if you hear anything. I wouldn’t ask you, but this could be a matter of real importance.”

She shook her head in exasperation and hugged him. She whispered in his ear, “I will. I love you.”

Ella left weighted with worry. Somehow, her brother needed to get to his unit. How could she pull that off with the colonel here? And he wanted to see Sara. She sighed. Another impossible task.

* * *

Colonel Jackson Ross.

Shivers ran down her arms and her back at the thought of him. What was happening to her? He was the enemy and now he had someone here that might be planning to hurt her brother and his men very soon.

Her brother was of similar rank, she reminded herself. He was very smart and would be okay. She decided to tell him anything she heard or saw.

Jackson was nothing but kind to her. That made little sense based on what she knew of the Yankees. He had not demanded she take the pledge. Lately, she couldn’t even get angry at him.

Ella had thought he might kiss her the other day in the barn. Goodness knows she wanted that kiss, but when he didn’t make the move, she had said she needed to gather eggs. Eggs!

Botheration! She was falling for him. She never allowed herself to fall for any of the town boys because of the talk of war, and here she was falling for the enemy.

That could not happen, could it?

“Bess, I have to do this trip for my brother. He will leave soon.” Ella muttered as she hitched her horse to the wagon. Ensuring the eggs and milk were placed under the front seat, she climbed aboard. “Hold still, Bess. This’ll just take a minute. Here. I’ve got it.” She secured her horse onto the wagon, then she climbed aboard. Touching her hip, she felt for her gun. It was there. Small comfort. It would still be a long, hard ride.

Ella wanted to talk to Nolan before he disappeared back to his men. Getting time with him now that Jackson and Marshall and their men were on the grounds made things difficult. At least he was better.

She picked up the reins to go. “Come on, girl,” she urged. Opening her mouth in an exaggerated grin, she made a clicking noise. “Giddy-up, Bess.”

“Whoa! Wait for me, Ella!”

Ella stopped the buggy almost as quick as she started. He stood in front of her, his hands out in front of him to stop her.

“Hey!” He grinned. His spurs clanged as he covered the short distance to the buggy seat. “I was looking for you. I also need to go to town. Would you mind if we go together? I can ride Mason alongside you. Or we can ride the wagon together… if you’d like the company.”

“Why, I suppose we could ride together. I mean, why put two horses through the travel?” Why did I say that? I have to talk to Sara, and his going would make it difficult. He was smiling at her and those adorable dimples were making her forget how difficult.

That’s really nice, Miss Whitford. I would enjoy that very much.”

He was back to calling her Miss Whitford, now. She wasn’t sure she liked that.

“Give me a couple of minutes to let Marshall know we are going.”

“Marshall?”

“Yes, I will put him in charge. He can carry on without me here. There is still much to do. There are repairs out back that he will take care of, and we also found your cellar door unhinged. Marshall will make sure it gets done properly.” He looked at her for a moment, then, hurried back up to his office—her library.

Marshall was in the library—so close to the secret room’s entrance. Her insides twisted at the thought of Nolan leaving, but it was getting hard with him chafing at the bit to get out of the hiding place, and Jackson and Marshall often in the house. Plus, Jackson had insisted on posting a guard on the porch. The whole situation made her nervous, especially with her brother’s restlessness.

She felt relieved he would be leaving soon but scared she might never see him again. What a mess this war had made of her life. Jackson Ross and his men had sent her life into a tailspin.

She was beginning to have feelings for the man. She enjoyed being around him, and that just made things worse. It flew in the face of her beliefs, making her now doubt her judgment. Ella needed to talk to Sara. Alone.

Suddenly she recalled him saying something about the cellar. What had he said about the cellar door?

Oh, no! If they go down there, they might find out that Nolan had been here. But if she said anything, it would raise suspicions.

Keeping Nolan hidden was getting harder. Having Jackson and his friend Marshall here, and all of those men—there was no choice about that.

Ella needed to help Nolan get out of here. He had mentioned that he needed to get back to his men in Kinston, and Carter was ready to get him there. He knew the river.

Tomorrow night.

* * *

As Jackson ran up the steps to the house, his spurs announced his arrival. When he had seen her hooking up the buggy, he had wondered if she intended to go alone. It was dangerous out there, and he didn’t want her to drive by herself.

He asked Ella to let him know when she needed to go to town, intending to protect her. Jackson barely caught up with her today. Stubborn woman. She acted indifferent when he advised her about the dangers, as if she would not be vulnerable.

There had been reports of vicious attacks on the outskirts of town involving deserters—beatings and robberies. It appeared they were Rebs. His men tracked and shot them, but with the last attack, they couldn't get there before the farm was burned and pillaged. The animals were slaughtered, and the husband was shot in the head and left for dead. These men must have wanted guns. Still, the attack was more vicious than he could have imagined. They could have taken the guns and not done the killing. It was disturbing.

The evidence they found at a camp showed there were two, maybe three more of them that were out there. His blood chilled to think of Ella driving alone.

“Jackson, good to see you!” Marshall looked up from the ledger he was working on as Jackson walked into the library.

“Thank you, Marshall. I’m riding into town with Miss Whitford. The obstinate woman planned on driving herself.” He looked down at the stack of papers on the side of his desk. “I haven’t read through these. Is there any further word on the absconders spotted in the area?”

“Nothing more yet.” Marshall gave a concerned look as he put down the ledger. “And we have gotten no closer to finding our own deserter. Wherever Private White has gone, he’s eluded all of our tracking efforts. He is either good… or damned lucky. We have all others accounted for either in sickbay, dead, or working.”

“Well, that is concerning.” Absently, the colonel rolled a pen in his hand and looked out the window. “He cannot have just disappeared into thin air.”

Jackson felt like he was missing something. The hair on his neck prickled, but he attributed it to the worry he had over Ella. “Perhaps these defectors met up with him. They could have done something to him. Might be a question to ask if we can capture any of them alive, this time. They weren’t supposed to kill those two men.”

“Okay, I will look after things here, but could you do me one favor?”

“Sure. Well, on second thought, I will try.” Laughter crinkled his brow. “What would you like? No, I am not bringing any women out here.” He had no idea what to expect from Marshall. This should be good.

“I only want some of Miss Sara’s homemade cinnamon rolls. Just thinking about them makes my mouth water. Just thinking about her makes my mouth water!” Marshall broke out in easy laughter. “Sure, you cannot tuck her in the back of the wagon and bring her back?”

His shoulders relaxed. “No, yes… I mean, I will bring you the cinnamon rolls. Just keep things hopping here.” Jackson pulled his hat off the hook, a smile on his face and a new pep in his step as he took off to join Ella.

Ella stirred feelings in him. He had almost kissed her in the barn. It wouldn’t do to mix business and pleasure. He needed to get his baser instincts under control. 

Although General Burnsides had no care about it, he felt it wasn’t the greatest of ideas to get involved with these townsfolk. And, with tracks already on his heart, he wasn’t eager to repeat that.

* * *

Ella felt for her small derringer tucked in its hiding place on the side of her leg. It was habit. She felt safer already just knowing Jackson would ride with her.

She had heard about the women that were accosted and the one that was attacked. Too many details of that had gone all over town. Don’t these Yankees know that some things just are not discussed?

“Okay, Bess, let’s keep it steady, old girl.” She smiled shyly at Jackson, thinking about the first time she saw him. “Sara likes getting our eggs, but I doubt she wants them scrambled.” Flicking the reins, she guided the wagon down the road. His nearness was comforting. It was much nicer already with company on this trip.

Any noise or movement on the side of the road caused Bess to jolt. She became edgy in the same spot on each visit lately, so Ella anticipated it and held on tight. Probably a nest of animals. Expecting it before Bess helped.

Perhaps she should mention it to the colonel to see if he, too, believed it was animals.

No, it would just bring up his need to protect her. She could handle herself fine.

“Great job, Bess! Easy does it.” Her white-knuckled hands held the reins tight, but her voice denied any sense of panic. Cotton filled her throat—or was that fear? She was glad he was with her.

* * *

Jackson wasn’t fooled. “Would you allow me to help? I can take the reins. Perhaps a little break would refresh you before we arrive.”

“Well, I thought I was doing fine.”

Jackson heard the ire in her voice. She was reacting to his offer to take the reins. He reminded himself not to be so heavy-handed. He wanted her grateful for his help, not angry or thinking he diminished her abilities.

Biting her bottom lip and looking straight ahead, she passed the reins to Jackson.

Bess didn’t seem to notice the difference in drivers.

His skin tingled where their legs touched. He wondered how it would feel to touch her thigh. He itched to move his hand closer but decided against it. She was gripping her seat tightly, and they weren’t going fast. Best keep his hands to himself.

He cleared his throat. “I noticed the disturbance in the bush area, too. Probably wild animals, maybe a deer.”

His mind remained on those bushes back there—certainly something he needed to check out. That was not a deer; it made way too much noise. If she had not been with him, he would have stopped and checked, but her safety was more important.

As she got closer to town, Ella shared a startling thought. “Colonel, are the people in town aware that you are staying at Silver Moon—you and your men?”

“I didn’t pass information around town, but we both know that once The Mercantile hears that I have been setting up the perimeter on your plantation… well, I’m sure it will make its way around.”

If it hasn’t already gotten around. That is one gossipy old woman at The Mercantile. With sudden clarity, he realized that in trying to both protect Ella and do his duty, he might have created gossip that could injure her.

Jackson cleared his throat. “But your reputation will not be affected. My word.”

No, I don’t want to ruin your reputation, but I would like to kiss you, hold you. I cannot get you off of my mind. I am unbelievably attracted to you. Heaven help me.

Why had he promised to guard her reputation?

* * *

Jackson, I was wondering what you think of the South. The land and people, I mean.”

“Well, until we came to New Bern, this war held nothing for me but pain and suffering—seeing men die and killing.” He looked at her. “Then I met someone that made things very interesting for me.”

“Oh.” Unsure of his intent, she ventured further. “Could you describe interesting?” She looked down and clasped her hands in her lap, still a little miffed at his heavy-handedness and unwilling to look his way.

“Well, yes. I could.” He looked over at Ella and shifted the reins to one hand. With the other, he touched her chin, shifting her attention to him. “I find you interesting, Ella.”

Her eyes widened. A fluttery feeling stirred in her stomach, actually lower than her stomach. She fought to subdue her feelings. “Well, I find you overbearing, Colonel Ross,” she huffed in response and pushed his hand away. “Suh, you overstep…you insisted on driving without a care to how it made me feel. And what if Bess doesn’t like your driving? I cannot afford any more disasters like broken baskets of eggs or damaged vegetables.” She wagged her finger at his face. “And there’s another thing. You don’t need to chauffeur me. I can drive my buggy. I’ve been doing it since I was twelve.” Ella stopped talking when she saw the look on his face. What?

He was staring at her with a curious look. It was not the look of someone who had just received a tongue-lashing. She felt conflicted and accused him of things she wanted to feel. Truth was, she liked the way he made her feel. He slowed then stopped the rig and she didn’t object.

They were alone. She looked at him, her breath coming in short, rapid bursts.

Jackson leaned in, his lips softly brushing hers. A delicious shiver moved down her spine, and she offered no resistance. His hands moved inside her cloak, then down the sides of her arms. Fighting the feelings, she was experiencing, she tried to push back, but he was holding her arms, gently pulling her towards him. They inched her closer and closer to him. She could smell leather and sandalwood. Oh my, it’s almost overpowering. No longer trying to restrain herself, Ella relaxed, and time seemed to stop.

His mouth moved to her hair and he nibbled on her ear. It sent delicious feelings down her body, down to her toes. He moved to the other ear, his kisses burning a trail as he moved to her neck. His soft caresses elicited gentle moans as his mouth covered hers, this time with more intensity. His teeth gently nipped at her bottom lip, enticing her, and she opened her mouth, gaining his slick, warm tongue entry. As it swirled around hers, she boldly met it with her own, the kiss becoming more intense, their breaths intermingled and frenzied.

She knew she should stop this, pull back, but she wanted his kiss, his touch. Ella felt the warmth of his hands caressing her breasts, rubbing, sending shivers down her neck and awakening her to a warm moistness between her legs. Her body was responding in ways unfamiliar to her.

Jackson stopped kissing and touched his forehead to hers, then gently unbuttoned the top buttons of her gown. She could not react. With a few more scalding kisses to the base of her neck, he moved to her breasts, his breath heating her skin. Her hands reached for his hair, twining her fingers within it, toppling his hat off. Still kissing her breasts, he leaned her down on the seat, his upper body covering hers. They stopped for a breath, and this time, she moved in and kissed him.

Realization of what was happening slapped her senses aware. Not this, and not here. What if someone saw them? Her palms against his chest, she pushed back forcing Jackson to lift his head and meet her gaze, chests heaving. Scrambling, they righted themselves.

“I apologize. I should have never taken such liberties. But I find myself attracted to you, fiercely attracted to you, Ella.”

Whap!

Ella gave him everything she could muster in that slap across his face.

“What the hell?” He pulled back, his hand covering the side of his face.

“What? You want to know what? You…took advantage of me, suh. I am shamed!” Her breath came in bursts as she scrambled to explain the slap for a kiss that she wanted. “You have laid claim to my property, and now you are trying to take over my person. And you are a Yankee! No! I cannot allow it.” She turned away, her chest rising and falling, as red heat moved up her neck.

“I said I apologize. You didn’t object during that kiss. Why did you have to slap me? You were enjoying it as much as I was.”

“That isn’t true. You…” She couldn’t finish. Truth was she had enjoyed it. Her face flushed red as she tried desperately to hold back angry tears. “I’ve just never been kissed…well…like that. And, I’m not a woman of loose morals.” She added that quickly, unwilling to let him know this was her first kiss.

“A beautiful woman like you, never kissed… properly?” He shook his head and looked hard at her. “You should be kissed. And I would never think you to have loose morals. Now, please don’t be angry with me. I don’t want eggs sailing my way.” A smile lit up his face.

“Well, I am…no, I’m really not upset. My emotions are a little…confused.” They are new. I want to be furious with you, Jackson Ross, but no, I’m definitely not angry.

She licked her lips and looked over at him.

“Ella, I have feelings for you. I am not saying that what I did was right. But I will say that what we did felt right. Maybe this was not the place, but it’s the first good opportunity I have had to kiss you, and I’ve needed to kiss you for a long time.”

She sat still, taking in what he had just said. Her feelings were in disarray. She had enjoyed his caresses and his kisses. This war had not given her an opportunity to properly court any boys.

Jackson had stormed into her life. Now he was stealing her heart.

* * *

Seeing her lick her lips nearly undid him. His body reacted. The discomfort of his tight britches reminded him of her influence over him. He had not planned on any of this, but she ruled his brain. I want to kiss you again. I want more with you.

“I apologize, Miss Whitford, but not for finding you attractive. Nor for wanting to kiss you…”

Bess snorted and jerked the wagon. That gained their attention, and they both looked at the horse. Did she see something? He looked around. Nothing. Well, we needed to come to our senses.

“She must have grown bored,” Ella’s smiling eyes searched his face, a grin lighting up her own face.

Jackson chortled. He reached up and touched the spot on his face, his cheek still fresh and stinging from her slap. Well, if the cost was that slap, he felt he had gotten a deal. He wanted to know her, know her passion.

For now, it would have to wait.

Jackson picked up the reins and looked around. No one was about, so they had not been seen. Good. The last thing he wanted was to compromise her. He should have never gotten so carried away. What was he thinking?

“Perhaps the middle of the road to New Bern is not the best place to have expressed my interest. I ask for your forgiveness, Ella, sincerely. I can only plead that I was swept away by your beauty.”

Looking up, he noticed the sun high in the sky. It was noon. “We need to get going if we want to get back by nightfall. I don’t believe this is the best place to be at night.” Clicking the inside of his cheek, he urged Bess onwards. He thought he saw a small smile before Ella turned her head and looked ahead.

He tipped his hat to the ladies that passed by them as they came into town and caught the side looks of a couple of his buddies. It was important to address that later. Sometimes good-natured teasing was misunderstood. Jackson would make sure that no one made comments about Miss Whitfield. He dropped her at The Griddle and promised to return soon, before moving Bess across the street to his quarters.

Alone, he could think. He had not expected her fury. Damn, he had given no thought to how she might feel, and that made him feel like a cad. He glanced over. She didn’t seem angry now. His feelings towards her were becoming a force, and he needed more control. Still, that kiss had been very satisfying. He smiled. No question there was smoke between them. He looked forward to the ride home. He missed her, and that was a feeling he hadn’t had in a very long time.

It scared the hell out of him.

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