I walk across the street to the hospital. My yoga pants and sweatshirt aren’t exactly dress to impress attire, but this is my work gear.

My stomach rolls over on itself for about the thousandth time this morning.

I stretch and clench my fingers tucked into my pockets.

I inhale and exhale so much you’d think I was practicing Lamaze.

My hand trembles when the sliding doors of the hospital open and I step into my role as fiancée to Luca Bianco.

Smiling politely to the information desk personnel, I walk to the elevator and press the button to the fourth floor, the one Luca texted me this morning.

I smooth out my unruly hair and pull it back into a ponytail as the elevator ascends. The silver doors part and I step out. Luca kicks himself off the wall, meeting me halfway down the hallway.

“Hey,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets again, not sure what to do with them.

“It’s this way.” He nods down the hall.

He’s all scruffy today and I hate to admit that even this look works for him. He wears his hat backward with a hoodie and jeans. It reminds me of when we were in high school. With the exception of the amount of scruff on his face.

“How are you doing?” I ask as the sign for the cardiovascular unit comes into view.

He shrugs.

“Hey.” I tug on the sleeve of his sweatshirt, stopping us from advancing farther.

We both slide to one side of the hallway to let other people pass.

He hovers over me and my chest pricks from the heartache in those coffee-colored eyes. Worry and anxiety have taken the place of his usual humor-filled eyes.

“She’s going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

He nods.

I’m doing a shitty job at convincing him or soothing his worry. I reach out but retract my hand. That’s overstepping a boundary I don’t think I should.

“Luca,” I whisper.

His gaze bounces around, never landing on my face.

What has happened to the man who’s so arrogant you’d think he’d believe he could go in there and save his mom? Perform the operation himself? That is not this man who is shutting down right in front of me.

“Luca.” I tug again at his sweatshirt, this time using the strings that fall from his hood.

His eyes land on me, but they’re hollow.

“She’s going to get through this and you’re going to have decades with her. You’ll bring home the woman you’re in love with some day and your mom will hold your baby in her arms. Will probably spoil it with presents and too many sweets. This is a blip in her life. It sucks but this isn’t the end, it’s only a chapter.”

He reaches out and before I can blink, I’m in his arms. His chin rests on my head, his arms draped around me. His fresh shower scent lingers within the little shelter his body builds around me.

My own arms slide around either side of his torso until they’re clasped behind him and I’m hugging him back.

God, who knew Luca Bianco felt so good. I always thought of his height as a strike against him because I’m way too short to be with someone so tall, but if I had to re-evaluate that logic right now, I might have to admit I was wrong. Because this feels…way too nice for a comforting hug.

Just as I’m about to back away, another big body blocks the light from my left and then another on my right. I’m surrounded by Bianco brothers and soft whispers reassuring one another that everything will be okay.

I could squeeze out from under them and they’d barely notice. Well, two of them wouldn’t.

“You’re squishing the little one.” Vanessa’s voice finally pulls the brothers back from their fear-ridden hug.

“Shit, sorry, Lauren.” Cristian speaks first, backing away and wrapping his arm around Van.

“I forgot you were in there.” Mauro’s lips tip up a bit, but his grin doesn’t come close to meeting his eyes.

The two of them have dislodged, but there’s still one big guy who has yet to release me.

“Luca,” I whisper and he tightens his arms for a second before letting me go.

That felt better than it should.

We follow the two other couples down the hallway to an opening that says Cardiovascular Waiting Area.

Anthony isn’t anywhere to be seen but I suspect he’s back with Maria, waiting for the surgery.

“We’ll go birth order,” Cris says, nodding his head in the direction of Mauro.

“Only a few of us are allowed in at a time.” Maddie fills me in before walking forward with Mauro following him through the two big double doors.

The rest of us take a seat in the chairs. “Maybe I should just stay here, I mean she barely knows me.”

There’s Luca’s look of death. “No.” He leans closer, that fresh smell stronger. His hand wraps around mine, his thumb running the length of my ring as a reminder.

Mauro and Maddie come out a few minutes later, Maddie surprisingly strong holding the hand of a Mauro who’s head stays down the entire way back to his seat. When the two sit, Maddie kisses his cheek and he pulls her into him, whispering something in her ear. She whispers something back and if I was in awe of any couple, it would be them. Anyone witnessing them together knows sometimes people truly are meant for one another and bring out the best in the other. It’s sickening really. Especially to a woman like myself halfway to being a spinster.

“We’ll be back,” Cris tells us all, holding Vanessa’s hand in his as the two of them disappear behind the doors.

The whole thing is horrible and I can’t imagine if someone was actually dying how this would feel. Taking turns to say your goodbye. Luca’s phone chimes in his pocket. He pulls it out, mutes it and shoves it back in.

A couple behind us are talking about a friend who’s going through his second bypass surgery. One of them is being negative and insisting he needs to take better care of himself. The other one positive with words of praise about how strong the man is. Another family across the way is with small kids who are reading books, playing with toys and moving from one relative to the next. Worry is etched in each adult’s features even though they smile at the small children.

We sit in tense silence as I watch people approach the reception desk asking questions and receiving instructions.

I’m not sure how long I’m out of it before Cris and Van come out.

Luca springs to his feet and holds his hand out for me.

Be the good fiancée.

I allow him to pull me from the chair and his fingers tighten in mine. Maddie and Vanessa give me soft smiles as they comfort their men.

We’re through the doors and it’s not what I was expecting. Nurses and doctors are busy walking from one curtained-off area to another. Drapes sliding along metal sound like shower curtains opening and closing. Beeps haphazardly going off. Murmured voices from each closed off section. The smell of antiseptic pulls the gag reflex out of me.

Luca stops. “Are you okay?”

I nod and he keeps going until he opens a curtain and waits for me to go in first.

Maria Bianco lays with Anthony at her side, holding her hand.

“Lauren,” she coos, trying to slide higher on the bed.

“No. Don’t.” I put my hand up.

Anthony stands, kissing me on either cheek a smile on his lips. He shakes Luca’s hand before hugging him and then stands to the side to allow us time with his wife.

Time I shouldn’t have with her.

I stand next to her bed but leave Luca to take the chair and be with his mom.

Luca pulls the chair out for me, signaling with his eyes for me to take a seat.

I shake my head.

He tilts his head, taking a deep breath in and out and eyes on the chair again.

I shake my head again. “You,” I mouth.

He shakes his head. “You,” he mouths.

All this fighting is ridiculous, so I just sit down so that at least he’ll have a few minutes with his mom before her surgery.

Luca sits on the bed and I slyly slide the chair back a little to give them room.

“You ready Ma?” he asks. “They’re going to find out how big that heart of yours is.” I look behind me at Luca because his tone is jovial and comical. His smile is wide as he laughs at his own joke. “They might want you for science,” he continues.

Maria laughs at her son, shaking her head. “Oh, Luca.”

She glances over at me and shakes her head again like ‘can you believe this guy, he’s the best, right? I know you agree with me because you’ve agreed to be with him until you’re gray and old and senile. So you must find his humor endearing too?’

I move my hand to my stomach, coughing from the extra saliva coating my mouth since I feel bile rising up my throat.

“Oh, dear.” Maria’s eyes cast to me, zeroing in on my stomach. “Are you? Is that why?”

Anthony peers over from the other side of the bed, his eyes widening at my hand on my stomach.

I retract my hand so fast I almost take out Maria’s IV attached to the hanging bag. Wouldn’t that be great?

Luca leans over me, his own hand drifting down toward my stomach.

“I just felt a bit nauseous. Probably just hungry.” I smile, but Luca isn’t changing his course of action.

He will not lie to his mother about me having a baby. That is where I draw the line.

But he saddles up to me, sitting on the arm of the chair, presenting us as a couple again, a united front.

“Thank goodness. I never want my children to marry because of a baby.” Her shoulders and head fall back down to the pillow.

I shoot Luca a death glare. He slides off the arm of the chair, but I swear for a moment he could’ve claimed temporary insanity.

The nurse steps in and smiles at all of us while silently giving us a look that says your time is up. “Okay, Mrs. Bianco, we’re going to get you all set up.”

I stand, ready to stop this lying brigade.

“We’ll see you in a few hours.” I grip her cold hand and squeeze.

She looks over my shoulder at Luca and then to Anthony, waving them away. They surprisingly listen and step back, then she crooks her finger for me to come closer.

“Take care of him. He acts like a lion, but he’s really a lamb.” She pats my cheek like she does Luca all the time. “But you already know that, don’t you?”

I want to scream no. That he is a lion in lamb’s wool. At least to me. Maybe not to her, but he’s only showing this nice side to me because I’m doing him a favor.

But I agreed to this, so I need to pull on my big girl panties. Instead of answering, I nod.

“We’ll see you when you get out.” I pat her hand and step away before I’m forced to lie to a woman who thinks her son is sweeter than a Sweet Tart.

I back away to the curtain’s edge, as Luca approaches next. The nurse fiddles around with some equipment, grabbing items in plastic bags and moving the tubes and wires around.

“Luca, my baby.”

He leans in closer, his head held high and a grim smile forced onto his lips.

She whispers something to him and he nods, leaning down and kissing each one of her cheeks.

He says something softly back before standing and joining me, putting his arm around my waist. His fingers shake where they sit on my hip.

“See you in recovery, Ma. They’ll be jealous, don’t let them steal that big heart of yours.” Luca smiles, laughs and steps out to the other side of the curtain.

We walk back to the waiting area, he unhooks his arm from my body, stuffs his hands in his pockets and the smile vanishes from his face.

My heart has never felt so broken from someone else’s pain as it does right now.