LYING IN BED, I roll over to my side, staring out the window. I’ve been thinking about him for hours. Why did he call me like that? We’re not dating. We’re not even fucking. Yet. I sigh. I don’t want to think about this so much. I don’t want to know that he’s a nice guy and that all that swagger is just for show. I don’t want to feel his protectiveness over me. I don’t want to miss him. It’s been a week. I can’t miss a guy I’ve known for a damn week. I close my eyes trying to block him out.
THE NEXT MORNING, I climb out of bed and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Since the movie came to town, it feels like forever since I went running. It’s time to take advantage of my alone time and get back out there.
I change into my running clothes and put on my tennis shoes. Grabbing my iPod, I slip it into my pocket and walk outside. It’s a sunny day and even just a little bit warm. Spring is coming. I smile and head out for my run.
An hour later, I’m walking back when I see Melissa walking her dog in the park. I jog over to say hi.
“Hey, girl,” I say.
She smiles. “Hey, you. Running?”
“Yeah. One week off, and it just about killed me.”
“You’re tougher than me. I need to run,” she says, patting her belly. “I’d just rather not.”
“I don’t love it, but it’s how I keep the pounds at bay.”
We walk over to the bench and sit down. “It’s kind of weird without them all here,” Melissa notes.
“Yeah.”
“You probably like it better like this.”
“Yes and no.”
“No, because of Antonio?”
I just shrug in response.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“Yeah. Who wouldn’t?”
“True story. Plus he seems nice. He’s not all Hollywood too good for us like Yasmin.”
“Right.” I look over at my friend. “He called me last night. He said he missed me.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Weird.”
“Because?”
“How can he miss me? We’re not together or anything.”
“No, but you kissed, and he had his hand between your legs.”
I smile. “Well, there’s that.”
“Plus, you spent a lot of time together last week. Almost all day and many nights. That’s a lot of time to get used to someone.”
“I suppose. I just don’t want to get attached, you know? In five weeks, they’ll be gone and we’ll all just be people in a town again.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do know that. He lives in LA, and I live here. Our lives are unbelievably different. I don’t want to get hurt. That’s why I avoid relationships.”
Melissa takes my hand in hers. “Why don’t you just see what happens? I know that I don’t know him, but from the little bit I’ve seen, he seems like a good guy. I don’t think he would intentionally hurt you.”
“It’s not always intentional when it happens.”
“I know, but,” she smiles, “you’ve been having fun and going out and laughing. You’ve been smiling a lot and getting kissed by a gorgeous man. No matter how it ends, isn’t the experience kind of worth it?”
I nod. “That’s a good perspective.”
“Think about it.” She leans back against the bench and picks up her dog. “What are you gonna do the rest of the day?”
“Read.”
Melissa laughs. “That’s my girl.”
I laugh and stand up, then pet Melissa’s little yorkie. “I’ll see you tomorrow back at the store.”
“I’ll be there.”
I turn and jog back to my house. After peeling off my running clothes, I turn on the shower and wash my face while I wait for the water to heat. Later, I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a sweater, then curl up in front of the fireplace with my book and a cup of tea. This is my favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I crack open my book and do my best to rid my thoughts of the handsome movie star whose touch I’m starting to crave. Like a fucking drug addict.
THE ALARM GOES OFF, and I roll over turning it off. It’s Monday again and a chance to see him. I’m more excited than I should be. After getting dressed, I head out for the day.
Walking down the street, I watch the movie set come to life again before me, noting how my previous anxiety has been replaced by anticipation. When I enter the store, I’m thankful it’s still quiet. I walk to the back and go through my normal routine. The door jingles, and I wait for Melissa to appear.
“It’s our anniversary, Beautiful.”
I look up to see Antonio standing in my doorway. He steps in and closes the door.
“Anniversary?”
“Yep. A week ago today, I walked into your life and you into mine. We should celebrate.”
I just laugh in response. “How was Boston?”
“Fine. Boring. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re amazing.”
I tilt my head. “How so?”
He grins. “You’re beautiful, sensual, sexy. Also,” he walks closer, “you’re smart, funny, independent. Did I mention you were sexy?”
“You did.”
“Want to know my favorite thing about you?”
I fold my hands and smile. “Yes, please. This should be interesting.”
“I was thinking about it last night. Is it your honey colored eyes that catch the sunlight just so?” He taps his chin. “But then I thought, no, it’s her voice that sounds like a favorite song.”
I try to hold back my smile. Is he for real?
“Then I considered whether it was your mouth. Those lips of yours are spectacular. Know what I landed on?” I shake my head. “Your laugh. It’s the happiest sound I’ve ever heard. You’re so serious and responsible and sarcastic, but then you laugh and you transform. Your eyes light up, your whole body joins in. It’s really very stunning to watch. I want to see it all the time. I want to be the cause.”
I lower my head, focusing on my hands for a moment. No one has ever said things like this to me before, and I don’t know how to receive it. I don’t know how to react.
“That’s all very nice, Antonio.”
“But?”
“I didn’t say but.”
“It seemed like you were going to.”
“Nope.”
He sits in the chair in front of me, keeping a safe distance. “Did you think about my offer?”
“Offer?”
“I’ve asked you a hundred times to have dinner with me.”
“Oh, that offer.” I smile, knowing I’m playing with him. “I’m still considering it.”
“Jesus Christ, woman. You’re killing me. You know how bad I want you.”
“I do. You’ve made that clear.”
“What do you want me to do? How can I prove to you how badly I want to spend time with you?”
“I don’t think you need to do anything else.”
He stands and starts to move toward me. “Maybe I should kiss you again.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary.” I scoot back in my chair. “I’ll let you know soon.”
“Is this some kind of game you’re playing right now? You’re acting like there hasn’t been a connection between us.”
“No game, Antonio. I just want to make sure I know what I’m doing when it comes to you. You may find it easy to move quickly between bed partners, but I don’t.”
He sighs. “I just want to eat a meal with you. Alone. I’m not asking too much, am I?”
“A meal? That’s it?”
“Yes. I told you I’m a nice guy. I’ll take you on a proper fucking date.” He runs his fingers through his movie star hair. “I just want you.”
I’m struck by the intensity of his emotion right now. “Relax.” I stand and walk toward him. Rising up on my toes, I kiss him softly. “You need to get back out front.”
“I know,” he says, quietly. “I want more, Giovanna.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
“Fine. We’ll do it your way.”
“Thank you.”
He walks out, and I go back to my chair, running my fingers through my hair. Why didn’t I just say yes? Every single part of me wants to and there’s only one tiny part telling me no. Unfortunately, that part screams louder than all the others. I think about what Melissa said and what Antonio said. Hell, my own heart wants to say yes.
I sit, quietly lost in thought, for about an hour. I’ll never get it out of my head if I don’t go. He’ll ask every time he sees me. I’ll want to every time I see him. My body will yearn for him, my mouth will thirst for his kisses. My eyes will seek him out wherever he is. The only way to deal with this is to give in and feed the addiction.
I walk out quietly and see Antonio sitting in his chair reading his script. Dan and Yasmin are in a corner looking at the playback, so I stand beside him and wait for him to look up.
“Hey,” he says.
Glancing sideways, I decide to just go for it. “Ask me again.”
“Have dinner with me?”
Smiling, I reply, “I’d love to.”
Antonio sits up straight. “Really?”
“Yep.”
“Tonight?”
“Sure.”
“Time?”
“You tell me.”
“Seven?”
“Fine.”
“Thank you for accepting. You won’t regret it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I turn and walk to my corner, so I can watch the next scene. My heart is racing a thousand miles a minute. In spite of everything I’ve come to believe, everything I’ve seen, despite every warning, I’m just gonna do what I want for a change. And I want Antonio.