I STAND STUNNED in her living room. My brain is filled with all those random facts about Isabella Catania that Yasmin constantly spouts off and now her long lost daughter is in the room next to me.
I don’t know what to do. Do I let her go? Do I fight for her? I know she won’t open the door, so I pick up my phone and call her, praying she answers. It’s going to voicemail, so I yell out.
“Answer the goddamn phone, Giovanna, or I’ll bust down the door!” I dial again and she picks up.
“Please leave,” she says, clearly crying.
“Let’s go together, Gio. We’ll go away from here.”
“They’ll follow you. They’ll follow me.”
“Gio, please, don’t close me out. We can get through this.”
“You don’t know what they’ve done to me,” she cries. My heart breaks at the sound of her tears. “You don’t know what they’ve done.”
“Come out here and tell me.”
“Please, Antonio,” she sobs. “Please, just leave me alone.”
“I can’t, Giovanna. Don’t you see? I fucking can’t. Nothing’s changed. I still feel exactly the same about you. I’m not leaving you.”
“You have to. I’m not worth it.”
“Yes, you are. To me you are.”
She’s silent, except for the sound of her tears.
“Babe,” I say softly. “You can’t run forever.”
“Yes, I can.”
“Giovanna!”
“It’s your fault!” she screams into the phone. “You couldn’t leave me alone. You had to make me want you and now,” her voice cracks. “Now it’s over.”
“It’s over?”
“It has to be. You can’t see me again. Just go back to your life and forget you ever met me.”
“What if I can’t do that?” All I hear are her cries. “Giovanna, what if you can’t do that?”
“I’ve lived my entire life alone. It’s nothing new for me. Please respect my wishes.”
“I’m sorry you feel this way. I really think what we have is worth fighting for.”
“You’re wrong.”
I can tell she’s shut down on me. All I can do is go and hope I can talk to her later. Right now, I have to try and figure out what happened to her.
I walk to the bedroom door. “I need my clothes.”
She cracks the door and throws them out at me, so I take the opportunity to push the door open. She tries to run to the bathroom, but I grab her arm.
“Stop running.”
“Let me go!” She pounds my chest until I can grab her arms to stop her.
“Look me in the eyes, Giovanna. Look me in the eyes and tell me that everything we have doesn’t mean anything to you.”
She glares at me. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“I don’t know.” I kiss her hard on the mouth. “Maybe you need someone in your life that won’t. Maybe …” I push her hair off her face. “You need to know what it feels like to have someone stay even when things are hard.” She collapses in my arms and sobs. I hold her tightly, kissing the top of her head. “I’m not leaving you, Giovanna. Not now.”
She twists away from me. “Antonio, it was fun, but it’s over now. You have to accept it, and so do I.”
“No!”
“What do you want from me?”
“Everything, dammit!”
She rubs her forehead. “Okay, okay listen.” She takes a deep breath and calms down. “I need a few minutes to get my head in the right place. Can you just give me that?”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Fine. Can you go in the living room please? I’ll come out when I’m ready.”
“Okay.”
I grab my clothes from the floor and walk out to the front room. The sun will come up soon, and I have no idea what the day holds. I look at my phone. It’s breaking news everywhere. They had to know last night for it to spread this far, this fast. When I find the bastard that did this, I’m gonna break his fucking neck.
A half hour later, she appears, pale with bloodshot eyes.
“I’m gonna stay here today,” she says, softly. “If you mean what you say, then please, try to keep them away from me. That’s how you can help me.”
“Of course. I’m gonna find out how this happened.”
She nods her head and leans into me. I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. We stand like this for several minutes.
“I won’t confirm anything, Giovanna. I won’t answer a single question.”
“I know.”
I pull back and look into her eyes. “We can go away. Right now.”
“What about your movie.”
“I don’t give a fuck. You are way more important to me than that.”
She shakes her head. “You were right. I can’t keep running. I just panicked.”
“I can only imagine.”
“I’m sorry for the things I said to you.”
“You don’t have to be.” I kiss her forehead. “You don’t have to be sorry for any of this.”
“You should get to the set soon or they might come back here.”
“True.” I run my fingers over her cheek. “Have dinner with me?”
She smiles. “Call me when you’re done filming.”
“You know I will.” I kiss her, happy she’s thinking straight again. “I’ll see you later, Beautiful.”
“See you later, Movie Star.”
I slip out the back door and down the alleyway. The hotel is surrounded by media, just as I expected. I push past them ignoring their questions and cameras. Inside my room, I sit down on my bed and text Giovanna. She texts back that she’s fine. I shower and change then head down to be on set. When Dan sees me, he frowns.
“What the fuck happened last night?”
“I don’t fucking know.”
“It’s everywhere today.”
“I know. They think she’s the daughter of that famous murder-suicide couple. I don’t know much about it. You?”
“Nope, just that shortly after it happened, the girl disappeared off the face of the earth. Until now. Is it true?”
“I have no idea,” I lie. “She wanted to be alone. It was a very shocking morning. She wouldn’t talk to me.”
“Well, it sounds like she has something to hide.”
“Maybe. Why does anyone care? So she might be the daughter. Big deal?”
“Beats me, man. Everyone loves a scandal.”
“Fuckers.”
He pats me on the back.”Hey, it’s your first one. Welcome to the club.”
“Gee thanks.”
Yasmin breezes in a few minutes later looking every part the diva. She sits in her chair reading through her scene.
“Okay, everyone,” Dan says. “Let’s get ready. Places.”
Yasmin stands and walks behind the cashier stand. She stacks books and answers the phone. She’s being shockingly professional today, and I wonder why.
“Cut!”
I look up realizing I completely missed my cue. Yasmin smirks, and it pisses me off. “Maybe you need some more coffee,” she says. “But,” she looks around. “No coffee today. Where’s Giovanna? Or wait, is it Elisabetta?”
“Shut the fuck up, Yasmin. I’m not in the mood.”
She laughs. “She lied to you. The player got played. How does it feel to have the shoe on the other foot?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I? Do the math, Tone. Remember the day at lunch when we talked about Isabella and all of a sudden she had to go? Didn’t that seem a little weird to you?”
“Did you have something to do with this?”
“Me?” She grins, and I want to fucking choke her.
I grab her arm and pull her close to me. “If I find out you had anything to do with what happened today, you’re dead to me. I’ll ruin you and you better hope our paths never cross again.”
She pulls her arm away, laughing. “You have no power here.”
I look up and see everyone watching me. Photographers hover out front just waiting to jump on me. I’ve had enough.
“I’m out of here.”
“You can’t leave,” Dan yells.
“Yeah, I can and I’m going to. Sue me.”
“I will.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
I walk out, push a photographer out of my way, and stomp up the hill to my hotel room. I’m getting my girl, and I’m getting the fuck out of here.
Inside my room, I pack a bag. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about any of this. I walk down to the lobby and request a car. Throwing my stuff in the back, I drive directly to Giovanna’s. I knock on the door for several minutes, then call her phone. It just rings and rings. I run around the back and go inside the garage. I check the door, and it’s still open, so I go inside. She’s not here. She’s fucking gone.
Just as I’m about to walk out I see the letter with my name on it, sitting on the kitchen counter.
I open it and read.
Antonio,
I’m sorry it had to be this way, but you wouldn’t listen. You wouldn’t let me go. I can’t be a part of your life. It can never happen now that they know. I want you to know that these last few weeks have been the absolute best of my life. Go back to Hollywood and be the brilliant actor that you are. I’ll be watching. Please believe me when I tell you that I will miss you. With all my heart, I will miss you.
Be good, Movie Star.
G
I rub my forehead. Now what I am going to do?
A WEEK LATER, I sit at my computer, researching everything I can about Giovanna’s parents. It’s starting to make a lot of sense why she has such a deep seated anger toward fame and celebrity. There’s nothing about her though. Not one word except that she disappeared from public view ten years ago.
I stand and look outside. They still hover below. Yasmin is giving interviews in front of her trailer. The whole world is just turning on its axis oblivious to the fact that the rug has been pulled out from under me. I fucking miss her.
I take a deep breath and prepare myself to go down there again. Since I returned to set, it’s been torture getting through each scene with my bitch costar. Trying to remember my lines and my character, when all I can think about is Giovanna has been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Finally, today is my last scene, and then I can get the fuck out of here. There’s nothing here for me now that she’s gone.
“WHEN ARE YOU HEADING BACK to LA?” I turn to the sound of Yasmin’s voice.
“Don’t talk to me.”
“Aww, you still miss Elisabetta.”
“Her name is Giovanna.”
“Whatever. Potato, potahto.”
I shake my head and ignore her as we wait for Dan to review the playback and confirm we can go.
“Did you ever figure out how the news leaked?” she asks.
I look at her and notice the nervous inflection in her tone, so I decide to call her bluff.
“I did.”
“Oh, really?” She plays with her fingernail. “What are you going to do?”
“Oh, you’ll know when it happens.”
“How?”
“It’ll be all over the news. I’m going to ruin the person.”
“What if they were just doing their job?”
“Mmm, no, not this time. It wasn’t the media.”
“Oh. So you know who it is?”
I realize I’ve got her. I just need to drag this out a little longer. “Yep.”
“Oh, well that’s good.” She hurries away abruptly. I knew she was behind it. I just don’t know how. I follow her to the bathroom and watch as she slips inside. I lean my ear against the door.
“Thomas?” I hear her say. “It’s me. He says he figured out who it is, and he’s going to expose the person.”
It’s silent for several minutes. “Are you sure? He’ll never tie it back to me?”
Silence again as my blood starts to boil.
“I know you’re a private investigator,” Yasmin continues, “but I don’t know the rules. Even if you were under oath, you couldn’t tell? Oh. I see. Shit. If he finds out it was me that hired you, I don’t even know what he’ll do. Okay. Just be on the lookout. Okay, bye.”
I lean against the wall and wait for her to come out. When the door opens, she freezes.
“Antonio!”
“You’re gonna pay for this, Yasmin. You’ve gone too far.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t play stupid. I heard the whole thing. I always knew you were shallow. I knew you had a hot temper and a jealous streak, but I never knew you didn’t have a heart and that you would ruin someone’s life just to make yourself feel better. You’ve hit an all time low.” Fear spreads across her face as a smirk settles on mine. “You know, actually, I’m not mad at you. I feel sorry for you. You’ll spend your entire life alone looking for someone to love you, but you’ll never find it. You’re pathetic.”
She crosses her arms. “Fuck you.”
“No, fuck you, Yasmin.” I walk to the front of the store and straight to Dan. “Are we done here?”
“We are. Thanks for a good shoot, man. We’ll be in touch if there’s anything we need to clean up.”
“Yep.”
“Hey.” He grabs my arm. “You okay?”
“I will be as soon as I get out of here.”
I grab my stuff and open the door of the bookstore. Stepping out into the sunlight, I start to walk across the street to my trailer for the last time. Just before I go in, I see Melissa and Sammy sitting on a bench in the park and walk over to them.
“Hey,” I say.
“Oh, hi,” Melissa says.
“Hey,” Sammy says.
“I’m leaving today.”
“Really?” she says.
“It’s over. At least my part is.”
“What now?”
“Back to LA. Got a few weeks off and then I’ll be on a new movie set in Canada.”
“Exciting,” Sammy says, smiling.
“I guess so.” I look around the town square. “This place was great.”
“It was better when she was here,” Melissa says.
“Yeah, when she was here. You haven’t heard from her, have you?”
“No.” She frowns. “I’m gonna run the store while she’s gone. I want it to be here for her if she ever does come back. I don’t think she’s going to though.”
“I don’t either.” And it’s all my fault.
“Is it true?” she asks. “Is she really who they say she is?”
“I’m not really sure, Melissa. It doesn’t matter. To me, she’s Giovanna, and I miss the shit out of her.”
Melissa smiles and Sammy actually pats my arm. “It doesn’t matter to us either,” Melissa says. “We just want her to come back.”
I nod. “Well, take care, you two. If you ever see her, could you tell her …” I pause and just shake my head.
Melissa touches my hand. “We’ll tell her, Antonio.”
“Thanks.”
Before leaving town, I decide to have the driver take me up to Lookout Point. It was the site of my first date with her. The night I realized she was going to become my drug of choice. From that point on, I knew I had to figure out how to spend every free moment I could with her. Now, standing on the scenic overlook, I realize I may never see her again.
I’ve always been the player, the guy that you can have a night with, but nothing more. I didn’t want the hassle of trying to fit a relationship into my life. Now, I can’t deal with not having her in it. What the fuck am I gonna do?
Two weeks later
Sitting on my couch, drinking a beer, I think about Giovanna for the thousandth time. I can’t stop thinking about her. Is she okay? Does she miss me? Does she even think about me anymore? I ruined her life. I’ll never forgive myself, how would she?
I pick up the remote and flip channels, going through several. I stop on one with a bunch of snow covered mountains. The Alps. Wait a minute. I sit up straight. The Alps. The motherfucking Alps! They’re in Switzerland. I jump up off the couch. Jesus, why didn’t I figure this out sooner? She went to her happy place!
I pick up my phone and dial my travel agent.
“Hey, Antonio. What’s up?”
“I need the first flight out to Switzerland. Today, if possible.”
“Uh, Switzerland?”
“Yeah. That’s right. I need the closest airport to a town called Murten.”
I hear Jim clicking computer keys. “Okay, that would be Zurich. I could get you on a red eye that leaves at 10:30 tonight. It’s gonna cost you a shitload.”
“Have I ever cared about that? Make it happen.”
“You got it.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up, shower, and pack a bag. She has to be there. Where else would she go?
Four hours later, I’m sitting on an overnight flight to Zurich, Switzerland. I found a hotel that had a room for me in Murten. Now all I have to do is hope I can find her. I close my eyes and try to rest.
AFTER WHAT FELT LIKE the longest flight I’ve ever had in my life, I take a taxi to my hotel in Murten. It’s a quaint town, and I understand immediately why she loves it here. It’s morning now, and I’m dead tired, but I plan to go out and look for her right away. If I can just find the cafe she goes to. I know she’s here. I can feel it.
I walk inside, check in, then go to my room to shower. After putting on a fresh pair of clothes, I brush my teeth and stare at my reflection. With this thick beard on my face, would she even recognize me? If she doesn’t, she’ll know it’s me when I kiss her.