I had given precisely zero blow jobs in my entire life.

Charlie constantly moaned I didn’t go down on him and he made me feel that I was a sexual deviant for not begging for it. But I had held my ground and point-blank refused. It just didn’t feel right somehow; the thought disgusted me. I knew most of my friends had no problem with it, but I wasn’t giving in. Eventually he gave up asking.

With Daniel, I couldn’t have felt more different. I desired to have him in my mouth. Yes, I wanted to please him in a way I’d never felt with Charlie. I wanted his body to respond to what I was doing to him. But it was more than that: I got wet just thinking about sucking him. I had fantasized about it.

And now he was sliding in and out of my mouth and, it felt desperately erotic. It was such a complete turn on that I could imagine climaxing just from him being in my mouth and me having my fingers around him.

I was unable to tear my eyes away from his as I sucked him. I enjoyed seeing the pleasure I was giving him. I increased the pressure of my lips each time he disappeared into me, I felt him swell and throb beneath me.

“You feel so good, baby.” His voice was strained.

His face contracted and he thrust his hips forward, pushing his cock deeper into me making me gag slightly. The sound of him being too big, too much for me, seemed to undo him.

“Baby, I’m going to come.” His hands on my head, he tried to pull out of me. I reached my hands over his and pushed.

I wanted him harder, deeper inside me. He cried my name and I felt him explode into me.

Watching him collapse in pleasure brought me close to the brink and I felt desperate for release. I don’t know how to tell him so I stood up and wriggled out of my panties, not sure of my next move.

I didn’t need to make a decision as Daniel swiftly pulled me onto his lap and brought his hands to my center. He flicked his fingers back and forward, teasing the lips of my sex. I grinded against him, his fingers pushing into me, his thumb rubbing my clitoris.

“You are so wet, Leah. Having my cock in your mouth has you so wet.”

I shivered. He was right.

“I love being in your mouth, pushing myself in you so you can’t speak while you swallow me whole. And you couldn’t get enough, could you, Leah?”

I was helpless. I had no words.

“Leah?”

He wanted me to answer, tell him how it felt and I can’t say no to him.

“No, I wanted it harder and deeper.” His speed increased and the room spun as I exploded around his fingers.

He pulled my limp body toward him and stroked my hair. I couldn’t move.

“You are so good at making me come, Leah.” He snuggled into my neck.

Finally I managed some words. “I’ve never done that before.”

He pulled me away from him and looked at me quizzically. “What do you mean?”

I buried my head in his chest, not able to look at him as I made my confession. “You know, the blow job thing.”

“Leah, don’t mess with me. You’re getting me hard again.”

“I’m not messing with you. I’ve never done that before.”

Without another word, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to his bedroom. There he undressed me, slowly and studiously.

He lay me on the bed and kissed me from my forehead to my ankles, avoiding my mouth, my breasts and my sex, first one side of my body and then the other.

Every time I tried to touch him he stopped me, firmly pushing my hands away. It was tortuous and beautiful at the same time. Eventually I sat up and pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply on the lips grasping his bottom and bringing it toward me.

Pulling away he smiled at me. “You really can’t get enough, can you?”

I shook my head, “No, I want you constantly. Every minute of every day I want you inside me, making me yours.”

He groaned and said my name. I felt his re-hardened cock nudge my entrance and I exhaled, knowing what was going to happen next. I waited for the feel of him. Apparently he was not giving me what I wanted so quickly: he ran his tip up and down my sex, teasing me. I bucked beneath him, the sensations building in me.

“Please, Daniel. I want you inside me.”

“I love it when you beg for me,” he growled as he sunk slowly into me, inch by inch filling me up so full it caught my breath. He bent his head and nibbled and licked my neck and shoulders while he started his rhythm, the pumping in and out giving me what I was so desperate for.

I reached behind him and ran my fingers down his back and pulled him toward me, guiding him deeper and deeper. He pulled back slightly and brought my legs over his shoulders and sunk into me again. He understood exactly what I needed without me asking.

With the change in position I’d never felt anything so deep. I fisted the sheets at the feel of him right at the end of me. I moaned uncontrollably as he reached places in me I didn’t know existed.

He was a part of me, mentally and physically, in a way that I’d never experienced. I clenched my muscles at the thought and his breathing increased.

“Baby, you are so tight, like a fist around me.”

His words sent a ripple of desire from my core. I wanted this to continue forever, me in his bed being claimed by him, pleasured by him. We locked eyes and he saw inside me.

“You’re mine, forever, Leah. This is never going to end,” he said, and my orgasm shook my whole body.

Daniel didn’t miss a beat and kept his rhythm exactly the same, looking at me as he kept pushing himself in and out. I was unable to give him anything in return. I lay there lifeless as he rocked in and out, aware of my wetness seeping onto my thighs.

He pulled himself out of me and took my legs from my shoulders, and rolled me to my left side and bent my right leg. I let him put my limbs where he needed them, I was barely conscious.

I was brought to life by him entering me from behind. It was somehow unexpected, and I moaned as he jolted into me. He was never going to stop, he was going to fuck me all night, until there was nothing left of me.

“I want you to come with me, Leah.”

“I can’t, not again. But don’t stop.” I was breathless.

“I’m never going to stop fucking you, but you will come for me whenever I tell you to.”

He brought his hand to my clitoris, and under his expert touch I could feel my climax start to build. I tried to pull his hand from me to stop the inevitable.

“Leah, stop fighting me. You will come for me.”

His demand was my undoing and my orgasm was ripped from me like a thunderbolt. His fingers left me and his rhythm behind me increased and I felt him bite into my shoulder, prolonging my orgasm and beginning his.

When we found the energy to move, Daniel led me to the shower. With words unnecessary, he shampooed and conditioned my hair and soaped every inch of me.

When he was done, I kissed him chastely on the lips and took the shower gel from his hands and did the same for him. He bent down so I could shampoo his hair. It was such an intimate exchange and I felt closer to him than I ever thought it was possible to be to another person.

As we stepped out of the shower he pulled a towel around me and quickly dried himself and pulled on some pajama bottoms. I watched him move, so beautiful and graceful and all mine. I smiled to myself and he caught me and smiled back. Then he turned his attention to me and took care to dry every part of me before combing through my hair.

Wordlessly, he went and found my overnight bag, unzipped it, and found my silk robe. He grinned as he remembered the last time he had seen it.

He dressed me and led be back into the living room, sat us both on the sofa, clean, sated and content, our arms wrapped around each other.

“I love you, Leah,” he whispered into my wet hair. I nodded. I knew he did.

“I love you,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady as tears welled in my eyes.

My tummy grumbling broke our easy silence and he laughed.

“I guess I need to organize some food for you, my love.”

As we waited for the food to arrive from the local Italian that we had visited on our first official date, Daniel dived into the crazy.

“So, headcase, anything to report in here?” He tapped me lightly on the head.

“Maybe a couple of things,” I said.

“Let’s have it.”

It was the Palmerston thing I was worried about. First, I wanted to know whether he had hired us because of me. It couldn’t be complete coincidence that I ended up in a meeting with him just after we reconnected.

“Well, I had some input,” he explained. “I told Jim I had heard that your firm had good experience in this area and asked him to check it out. That’s all. I told him it was completely his decision who to invite in and who to hire. Ultimately, I want the best for Gematria and Jim knows better than I do when it comes to law firms.”

I was relieved. I didn’t want our success to have been all about Daniel inventing reasons to see me.

“To be honest, I didn’t need to come into your pitch meeting, but knowing you were so close I couldn’t stop myself. I’m usually so careful about keeping work and home separate, but you make everything different. You invade every part of me.”

“And Jim asking me to be lead associate on the job, is that you asking?”

Daniel looked genuinely surprised. “Did he? I didn’t know, honestly.”

I exhaled. It was nice that Jim had asked for me without being told to by his boss.

“Will it make it difficult if I am lead associate? I don’t want you to feel awkward.”

“I think it will be fine. Good, I mean. I think I will have to take a leaf out of your book and try and not think about you during the day, particularly if you are in our office. People will think I’m crazy if I’m making excuses to attend meetings you’re in all the time.”

I chuckled. I loved that he wanted to be close to me like that.

“So, we keep ... this ... us ... between us?” I asked.

“I would prefer not to mention our relationship at work, if that’s OK with you. But it’s not because my feelings for you aren’t everything they should be, Leah, know that. I just don’t want people gossiping about my private life.”

So he labeled it a relationship. I guess we had swapped I love yous, so calling what we had a relationship was no big deal. It all just seemed quick. Quick after Charlie.

“I get that. It will make it easier I think.”

“Next?” he asked.

“I have nothing else. That’s all for today,” I said, happy that we could talk openly and honestly about these things without feeling awkward or embarrassed.

“Really?”

“Really,” I reassured him. “What about you?”

“Hmm, well obviously I hate you going into work looking as hot as you always do, knowing that people think you are single. I’m sure you spend half your day being flirted with, including by that boss of yours. Sometimes it takes all my energy not to come to your offices and show up at your desk to show everyone you are taken.”

I looked at him. Was he being serious? By the look on his face he was. He massaged the spot between his brows as if it hurt and I pulled his fingers away and replaced them with a light kiss.

“I’m not flirting or being flirted with at the office, I promise you. And my boss is thinking about making money, not flirting with me I can assure you.”

“Don’t be so sure. I’ve seen it in his eyes, Leah, that man wants you.”

“Well it’s moot—he’s not having me. Like I told you I’m yours.”

Daniel seemed placated by that and continued his headcase dump. “And the only other thing is I’m a little freaked by your nonchalance over the 'I love you' thing. Should I expect a delayed reaction?”

I looked up and grinned at him.

“I don’t think so. I’m cool about it.”

“Well, in that case, I love you, Leah.”

I grinned again. “I love you, Daniel.”

After dinner, Daniel topped-up our wine and we went back to the sofa to catch Newsnight. It was such a normal thing to do. A thing a couple would do. It felt good.

I awoke to Daniel pulling the duvet up around me. As I opened my eyes, he kissed my forehead and whispered, “Sleep.” I complied.

The next morning I was zipping up my overnight bag when Daniel came back into the bedroom from the shower.

“Why don’t you leave that here? There’s no point in bringing your stuff over every night.”

“Oh, well, I’m at home tonight so I’ll need it, and it’s no big deal to bring it across.”

It was sweet of him to try and make me feel so welcome. Before I’d moved in with Charlie, if he ever saw anything of mine lying around, he would put on the table in the hall for me to collect on my way out.

“What do you mean you’re at home tonight?”

“I’m having dinner and drinks with Anna tonight. She split with her boyfriend and I’ve not been around much.”

“Oh.” He looked crestfallen.

“It’s just one night.”

“I know, it’s just I have to go away to New York next week and I just want to spend as much time with you as I can while I’m here.”

Now it was my turn to be crestfallen. “You’re going to New York? All week?”

“Yes, that’s what the call was about last night. I need to go and bang some heads together. I’m flying out Sunday and hopefully on the red eye on Wednesday so will be in London on Thursday.”

When I didn’t respond his head spun to where I was standing.

“Will you miss me?”

His eyes were searching mine and I couldn’t speak. I just nodded.

He crossed the room from where he was in two strides and grabbed me and kissed me, with no ceremony his tongue crashed into my mouth searching for mine and pushing against it. He pushed me up against the wall hitching up my skirt, pulling my leg around his and pushing his crotch into me. Showing me how much his body wanted me.

Knowing I was running late as it was and with my hair and makeup all in place ready for a day in the office I brought my hands to his chest and tried to push him away.

“Are you saying no to me, Leah?” I could hear the lust in his voice.

“I will never say no to you. I’m just late and ready to leave.”

“Then I’ll be quick. I can’t bear the thought of not having you today.”

My arms relaxed and pulled around his waist.

“Bend over the bed, Leah.”

His tone was serious and dark, and I shivered with delicious anticipation and I leaned over the bed as instructed.

“We don’t have time to get you ready for me, Leah, so this might hurt.”

I tensed but I could feel my wetness already. I was always ready for him. Unceremoniously, he shoved up my skirt again and just pushed my panties to one side as he entered me.

“Always so wet, Leah.”

He thrust into me, pulling my shoulder and my hip. I met him with such force that I knew I would smart whenever I sat down today. Especially given yesterday’s epic lovemaking.

“Is it too much?” he asked.

“Never. It’s never too much,” I whimpered.

His speed increased and the savagery of his need for me was overwhelming. I brought his hand from my hip to the lips of my sex, positioning his hand under mine, imploring him to grant me my release. In response, he almost violently pushed his fingers over my nub, rubbing up and down.

“Come for me, baby.” He growled in my ear and that was the end for me. I arched my back against him and I felt the hot spurt of his come empty into me.

He quickly withdrew.

“Stay there one second.”

He reached for some tissues by the bed. He wiped himself from my stockinged thighs, but I could feel my panties were completely soaked. I stood up and bent over my overnight bag.

“I need to change my stockings and panties.”

He pulled me up to face him.

“Don’t. I want you to wear me all day long.”

Oh my god, this man was insatiable. I couldn’t refuse him; I didn’t want to.

“Can I fix my hair and makeup?” I grinned at him.

“I’ll give you that. I’d prefer you went to work looking like you’d just been fucked, but I can see why that might be a problem for you.”

“Thank you.” I grinned and I pulled his tie to bring is face to mine and kissed him chastely on the lips before heading back to the bathroom.

Daniel, or more accurately, his driver, dropped me off at my office. I was thirty minutes late. Not too bad.

Of course Brendan was hovering by my desk as I walked in trying to be inconspicuous.

“Where’ve you been? You’re late and you look like you’ve just been fucked.”

Oh here we go.

“Stuck on the tube. And I should be so lucky. What is it Brendan?”

“All right, shirty, I need to go through fifteen million things with you and I’m getting very stressed about it. Can we sit down?”

Brendan wasn’t onto me, he was just being Brendan. I relaxed and he took me through his list.

Just as we were coming to the end of the list I looked up as a huge bouquet of white roses came toward me. Sylvia, one of the other PA’s beamed at me. These just came for you. Looks like someone’s really sorry. She placed them on my desk and winked at me.

“Charlie’s trying to get you back?” Brendan said incredulously. “What does the card say?” He grabbed it from the cellophane and opened the envelope.

“Brendan! Give it to me.” I snatched it back, knowing it wouldn’t be an apology and the flowers weren’t from Charlie.

“Come on, let’s finish off this list.” I said trying to pull his attention back to work.

“Err no way José. Your drama is much more interesting, I want the next installment. Open the card.”

How was I going to get out of this? I had no idea what the card would say. With Daniel I could never tell; it could be sweet, loving, or toe-curlingly hot.

“Come on Brendan, give me a break?”

“Puhlease. Of course I won’t. Show me the card.”

He was determined and in an effort for a quiet life I gave in and he took the envelope from my fingers and gleefully slipped out the card as I slumped back into my chair defeated.

Brendan looked at the card and then looked at me and then back at the card. Then he handed me the card without uttering a word.

Brendan with nothing to say—that was never good.

I want people to know you’re taken.

Dx

I smiled at his possessiveness. He really did think I spent my whole time in the office flirting. When I looked up I was still smiling and Brendan was looking at me.

“They’re not from Charlie?” I shook my head. “Who then?” he pressed.

“No one you know. An old friend.”

“Leah, come on. You know I need more than that. I want details!”

“That’s not happening. I want to keep this to myself. Everyone knows about my love life or non-love life around here, and I can’t bear it. I want this to be private.”

“And that includes private from me?” Brendan looked like he’d been slapped in the face.

“This is no big deal, just a few dates. If it crashes and burns I don’t want to be embarrassed again. Please don’t hate me; I just can’t bear the humiliation again. I’ve not even spoken to Anna about it.”

I was lying, but I was doing it to protect his feelings so it felt worth it. I couldn’t admit to myself how serious it had become with Daniel, and I was embarrassed at how quickly it had happened after Charlie. And Daniel didn’t want his office to know which made life easier for me while on the Palmerston deal.

I absolutely couldn’t tell Brendan the truth. He seemed to understand what I was saying, although I could tell his pride was hurt. He avoided me for most of the rest of the day and said he didn’t have time to finish going through his dating profile. I was a little relieved.

I had texted Daniel to thank him for the flowers but he hadn’t texted back. Which was fine, I thought. We had agreed to try and not contact each other in working hours after all. Leaving work to heading back to Anna’s I stopped to pick up a bottle of wine. None of the vintage stuff that I’d had over the last few days tonight. If I couldn’t buy it in Tesco Metro we weren’t having it.

My mobile vibrated: it was a text from Daniel.

Have a lovely evening with Anna. Miss you. Dx

What are your plans for this evening? Miss you, too. Lx

Just work. Dx

Anna got in a few minutes after me clutching another bottle of wine in her hands. Great minds.

We changed into our jogging bottoms and got settled in for the night. She explained that she had still managed to avoid seeing Fran, but received an email from her asking her to meet her for a coffee this weekend. I didn’t know what to say. Fran was always more her friend than mine, and I didn’t want to tell her not to be friends with her, but if I said I thought they should meet I’m not sure it would sound genuine.

“How do you feel about meeting her?”

“Mixed. I feel disloyal to you. I feel she’s not the sort of person that I want in my life, but I’ve known her a long time and I think maybe I should give her an opportunity to explain.”

“I won’t feel that you’re being disloyal. You’ve been amazing to me. I couldn’t have asked for any more from you. You have known her a long time. Meeting her doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with her.”

“Wow, you sound really together.”

“Do I? It’s just an act!”

“No, I don’t think it is. I think Daniel’s good for you.”

“I think so, too.” And I bit back a grin.

Could I call him? Would that look like I couldn’t cope for an evening without him? I tried to push thoughts of him to the back of my mind and concentrate on Anna.

“Have you heard from Charlie?” she asked.

I shook my head. He had replied to my email that I had sent in Mexico agreeing to my suggestions of how to divide the practicalities of the split but there had been no other contact. He had very quickly become my past, my distant past.

“You don’t feel you need closure?”

“I think him getting my close friend pregnant was all the closure I needed.” And I started laughing and Anna joined in.

I crawled into bed shortly before midnight with my phone for company. I’d had a text from Daniel asking me to call him before I went to sleep, so I called and he answered on the first ring.

“Hey, stranger.”

“Heyyy stranger, yourself. What ya doin’?” I asked, clearly a couple of glasses of wine past sober.

“Still in the office. It sounds like you’ve had a nicer evening than me.”

“It would have been a nicer evening with you.”

“I just wanted to wish you goodnight, baby. Go to sleep now or you will have a horrible hangover. I need to get on a call with New York, so I should go. Will you stay tomorrow night?”

I was flustered. I wanted to talk to him all night, but he was distracted.

“Yes, of course, tomorrow night. Remember I’m at your office all day tomorrow.”

“How could I forget? I won’t get any work done thinking about you just a few feet away.”

I smiled. There he was, My Daniel. I pressed cancel on the phone and collapsed into my pillow.