Chapter 16
Stacy
“What do you mean?”
“You had me a long time ago. Why do you think I am here?”
“I don’t know. I thought this was a date.”
“It is.”
But I expected more out of this date than any one before it. I knew what was at stake and I didn’t want to pretend otherwise anymore. I had finally made a decision that I had been waiting to make for a long time. Everything for me was going to change after tonight. It was such a big part of me that I don’t know how I was going to feel when everything changed. How was I going to feel knowing that I waited all this time and the man I had fallen for was never going to really give me what I wanted in the end, what I had waited for?
I pushed the thoughts from my head and tried to be in the here and now. That was what mattered, not the future, because all I got was a stomach of knots if I thought about it like that. I wanted tonight to be special in all ways and that meant that I had to forget about tomorrow.
“So what kind of date is it?” He was finally starting to follow along and I could see the twinkle that came to his eyes. It was strange to talk about it so casually, but that was exactly what we were doing. We were talking about sex like it was no big deal when it was a huge deal to me.
“Why don’t we go back to my place and find out?”
His brow went up and he asked me if I had had some sake before he picked me up. I told him that I hadn’t, but Chris was still hesitant, like he couldn’t believe that I had just said that. I couldn’t believe it either, although I thought I was going to get a far different reaction than the one I was receiving right now.
We were on our way before I knew what was happening. It was strange to be so confident and ready when all of these years I had been putting it off. It had never felt right before, but now it did. It felt like this was the way that it was supposed to be. It was supposed to feel like the easiest decision in the world and that was what it felt like. I didn’t have to think about it anymore. This is what was supposed to happen and I was going to make sure that I didn’t back out of it again. I needed this and by the way Chris was acting, he needed it as well.
He opened the door for me and waited until I got in to slide in behind me. Chris told the driver where we were going and I shook next to him as we made our to my house and I made my way to my destiny. I don’t know why I felt the way I did, but I felt like this was all meant to be and I had a feeling of confidence earlier.
Chris put his hands on me and pulled me closer to him. I knew that he wanted more, right then and there, but I wasn’t ready for that. I was ready to get to the house and take our times. I was shaking inside with need, but just as equally from fear. It scared the hell out of me, but filled me with excitement. The whole situation was so confusing, filled with so many conflictions it was hard to keep up. We couldn’t get home soon enough as far as I was concerned.
Finally we would be able to finish what we had started.
***
I don’t know why, but the ride to my house seemed to take forever. Chris had his hands on my thigh and his fingers moved around on my sensitive flesh and I wanted more of his touch. I opened my legs and I waited for his digits to press against me. When they did, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. He felt amazing, as he always did and I was eager to get there.
When I opened my eyes, we were out front of my house and I realized that the car was turned off. Sadly, I hadn’t even noticed that and it bothered me that I hadn’t. I had been so wrapped up in what he was doing to me and my body that I hadn’t even noticed any of it.
“Come on let’s get out of here and get inside. That is where all of the magic is going to happen.”
He said it like it was already written in stone and I liked the idea of it. It was finally going to happen, no matter how many times I had thought that it never would. It was and Chris was the perfect one for me. I don’t know what tomorrow was going to bring, but tonight it was going to be just me and him.
Chris was around the car and opening the door before I got my mind right enough to even get out of it. I looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you Chris. You are always so thoughtful.”
He grinned back at me and said something about how I brought the gentleman out of him.
“You are not looking at me like a gentleman Chris. You look at me like I am your next meal.”
“Good.”
I shivered as he leaned in to kiss me. “I have waited a long time for you Stacy.”
“Not that long. I haven’t known you that long, just weeks.”
“It’s enough time for me to fall for you and know that I am never going to want another woman again in my life. That’s what sort of time we are working with Stacy. It wasn’t much, but it sure was enough. Now I am stuck not being able to stop thinking about you and how it is going to feel with you in my arms.”
“You definitely know all of the right things to say.”
“They aren’t right Stacy, it’s how I feel. I love you. It doesn’t have anything to do with what is right or what is wrong, it just is.”
I liked to think that I knew what I was getting into. Chris didn’t love me and I didn’t want to hear it. It would just hurt more later, so I told him to just stop talking all together. He had a look of surprise on his face. “What?”
“We are done talking Chris. We have done enough of it, don’t you think?”
He agreed, but I could tell that he wasn’t expecting my answer. “Whatever you want to do, Stacy. As long as I can be with you. That is all that matters to me.”
It was once again the right thing to say and no matter what, I knew that it couldn’t be true. It was a really nice thought though I quickly forgot my own name then Chris pushed me into the apartment and shut the door behind him. He had this look on his face, one that I can’t really describe. He didn’t look the same as he usually did. Now he looked ravenous, predatory, whatever it was, it sent every hair on the back of my neck up.
“Chris…”
Chris pressed his finger to my lips to shush me and I couldn’t say a word. I knew that I should say something, but instead I just stood there. It was my rules of course. No talking. So why did I now have everything to say?