Chapter 14
Molly
I shrugged. I’d thought about it a lot of times, but there was still part of me that did. Chris didn’t need to know that though. He didn’t need to know that I still yearned for him in more than one way. I wanted him so badly that it actually hurt and seeing him this morning cemented the fact that I was wrong to bring him here. I wanted to help, but at the end of the day he was still going to leave and then I was going to have to go on without him again.
“I have.”“I’ve thought about it many times. I almost came back several times, but something would come up and remind me why I was in the city. I had to give up love for work and money.”
“You already had money. So was it worth it to leave?”
I wanted him to say that it wasn’t and that he had been so wrong. This is what I badly wanted him to say, but he didn’t. He wasn’t worried about me when he was gone. He had forgotten about Nome and everyone in it, including me.
“I don’t know Molly. I try not to look back too much. It doesn’t help anything.”
“No, I guess you are right. I’m going to get started on some of the cutting while you finish up.”
I walked out of the kitchen and back to where Chris had everything out for the trim. I needed to get my mind off of what we were talking about. I had to forget about us or I wasn’t going to be able to make it through the week. I’d already thought about just signing the land over to him because it was hopeless, but then again, I didn’t want the land sold to some commercial place that was going to fill Nome with a bunch of tourists that we didn’t need. I was torn between the two and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to stop it. I had to try though, right?
Chris came in and we talked a little bit after a long stretch of silence. I wanted to say so many things to him, but because of how everything was going, I was sure there wasn’t a point. But I couldn’t help it.
“I really wish you would stay Chris.”
“What would I do here Molly?”
I shrugged. “What everyone else does here, live.”
It didn’t sound like much and he gave me a look like he didn’t understand why that was enough. It was for me and many others here. We weren’t worried about changing the world or making tons of money. We were worried about family, love and having a good time. It was clear that his priorities did not include any of that.
Chris moved towards me. We’d been at it for hours and we had kept our distance. I had done it to keep myself safe, but with his hands on my shoulders, it was hard to forget that he was touching me. I wanted him to touch me, no matter how badly it affected my head. It messed with it. He messed with my emotions and my mental wellbeing. It wasn’t something that I could stop.
“I don’t want to talk about this the whole time I’m here. I am not going to be here long.”
“I know. You’re right.”
I sat down and tried not to let his words bother me. At least he was being honest with me. I appreciated it, even if the words hurt me so much.
My eyes were getting blurry from being upset and I hid my face so that he wouldn’t see it. My back was turned to him and I felt his hands on my shoulder again.
“Let me make this better for a little while Molly. I don’t know how to make this right, but I can make it right for right now. Let me at least do that.”
His words were hard to ignore and I knew that I didn’t want to tell him no. I stood up and gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. Chris held me above the waist with his hands clasped behind me and I was pulled in against his hard body. I had felt him before, but this was the closest that we had gotten body on body since he had been back. I forgot how he felt, how big he was compared to me. He was huge and so damn solid. Every part of him made me feel shrunk down, but I had always liked it. I always felt so safe in his arms and now was no exception. Chris had changed my life completely again and this time it was for the better. Whatever way this worked out, I would never need to worry about money again.
When I pulled back and looked up at him, he moved down to kiss me and I didn’t want to stop it. I never wanted him to stop and when his lips met mine again, I melted a little bit more. I could feel my legs and knees getting weak and I tried to play it off like I wasn’t desperate for him, but I was, I really was.
My mouth was hungry and I made him move down to my level and then he was lifting me up into his arms. He picked me up like I was nothing and I wrapped my arms around his neck so that I didn’t feel like I was going to fall. I knew that I wasn’t, that he wasn’t going to let me, but it was hard to fight the urge.
He moved his mouth off of mine and went in for my neck. It was sensitive and he knew that it was a delicate spot for me. It was also the spot that turned me on the most.
I shivered and dampened from the initial touch of his teeth on my neck. I loved the way it felt as they grazed across my sensitive skin. It was hard for me to make no sound and there was no reason this time that I had to hold it in.
“I miss those sounds. I’ve wanted to hear them so badly.”
His words made me realize what we were doing. It was so easy to get wrapped up in Chris that I forget for a few seconds that he will break my heart again. I pushed against him.
“What? Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I don’t. You are as talented as ever, but I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t remember you being this hot and cold.”
“I’m not usually that way. I’ve been trying my best to stay away from you because I know what happens.”
“Why is that such a bad thing? You need it.”
While it was true, I didn’t want to admit that he was right. I did need it, so damn bad. I knew how good it would feel and ever since seeing him again and Chris moving in, my body has been on high alert. I didn’t like being this way, but he was the only one with the key.
“I do, but it has consequences. It’s just not enough. I’m sorry if that is why you came here. I didn’t see any of this coming and I have no plan. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t Chris and with Lila what happens matters more than ever.”
“I don’t see how I can prove it to you.”
I didn’t know either and I shrugged. He growled at me. “I can’t wait anymore Molly.”
He moved back to kiss me and before I could think to stop him, I was lost in his kiss. His tongue was taking over my mouth, pushing in between my lips. His hands held me against him fast and there was not an inch of my skin that wasn’t touching him.
“Tell me that you really don’t want this and I will stop pursuing you.”
The sound of his deep voice and the slight breeze of a whisper on my earlobe was more than I could stand. There was no way that I could tell him that with a straight face, even if I could find the voice for it. I was too far gone now.
“I can’t.”
His kiss deepened and I felt him moving me until the side of the house was on my back. His hands were making quick work of the button on my pants and he was pulling them down enough to get his hand down to the heat and wetness that I knew was there. I was so damn turned on and for once I didn’t want to refuse what I desperately needed. Even if it was only for tonight or a week, it had to be worth it.
His fingers rubbed on my clit and made me jump with each pass. I tried to squeeze my thighs together as the feeling got more intense, but he held them open roughly. His mouth was back on my neck and I swear I was going to faint. My legs weren’t going to be able to keep me up much longer.
Chris seemed to notice and after I cried out with pleasure, he started to lift me up and I stopped him.
“Dammit Molly, I really can’t stop this time. I’m going to explode.”
“No, I mean can we go inside?”
Relief melted my reserve. I didn’t know what tomorrow was going to bring, but tonight I wanted to be in Chris’ arms, just one more time.