The hardest part of a broken heart was feeling ugly on the inside. It was feeling empty. It was feeling like recovery was unreachable. Broken hearts made girls like Karis Dunway do unthinkable things. Why? Because she was numb.

Jackson had really left her. Used her and left her. Drained her. Taken everything, including her will to trust a man. But one thing remained. She still wanted an anchor. She wanted someone to take care of. She wanted to be a mother, and to have someone to love…someone who would unconditionally love her back. But she was running out of time.

Karis stared at the response to her breeder application. One hit. One response in two months, and his name was Colton Dorset. Colt for short, as he’d explained in the first line of his text message. Sarah, the matchmaker, only gave her number to viable matches, so he must be something. Sarah must’ve either grown desperate to find Karis a mate, or actually saw something in this man for her.

God, what was she doing? She’d really applied to be a breeder. Her parents and brothers would never forgive her when they found out. But the plan was to be so far into the application process by the time they discovered just how far she had fallen, they wouldn’t be able to talk her out of it. Because Jackson had gone and taken her shot at that little anchor, and she didn’t have the time or energy to open up to someone else and try again. She wanted distance. She wanted friendship. Companionship. She wanted to be half of something headed in the same general direction.

Karis wanted a man who could never, ever, ever touch her heart.

Love had quit her so she’d quit love, and she would never try again. But she could do this much. She could meet this man named Colton and see if he could give her what she wanted. What she needed to live a good life.

She’d read the first line of the text six times.

 

I got your number from Sarah. Seems we’re a match. My name is Colton, but people around here call me Colt.

 

Ignoring her pounding heart, Karis inhaled deeply, leaned back against the seat of her old junker car, and read on.

 

Actually, people call me a lot of things. I’m a half-decent brother and friend, but I ain’t been tested on being a good boyfriend yet. It’s slim pickins around here because…well…to be honest, Darby, Montana is a small town, and everyone knows all my shit. There’s piles of it. I’m trying not to taint this conversation with a poop joke right now, but I’ve been mature for damn near five minutes while I’ve been typing this out. Also, you should know right now, my sister is coaching me through this message. She just slapped my arm. She also told me to keep this short and sweet and not let you see what a disaster I am, but I’m of the opinion you should see enough so you aren’t surprised if you decide to meet up. I have a pet squirrel. Oh, and you are the first breeder I’ve ever contacted. My sister Ava said you should know that. I just signed up for this two weeks ago and Sarah worked fast. I want to feel flattered that she found a match so quick but she stopped answering my emails a few days ago and I’m suspicious she is just trying to get rid of me. Favorite meal is beans with steak in it and, hell yeah, I eat it from the can. I live in a tiny cabin and work the Two Claws Ranch with my best friend, who happens to be banging my sister for life, which sucks because I have to watch them being all lovey dovey and shit and I’m pretty sure that’s what made my animal pissed off enough to message Sarah in the first place. God, this text is like a novel now, and my sister is bitching at me to end it here. She said, “You’ve done enough damage for one text, you fartface.” I think she hates me. She’s making me eat vegetables now. I hope you’re a carnivore shifter and not a heifer shifter or something. Let’s meet and eat meat together. Meet and meat, ha. Come save me from vegetables. I’m a bear. Sarah said we’re allowed to talk about this, so there it is. I’m a grizzly shifter. What are you?

Love and Beans,

your wannabe boyfriend/partner/roommate/baby daddy/this is so weird and I don’t know what I’m doing.

P. S. I got tested. No STD’s. Ava said I shouldn’t tell you that, but I think it shows how responsible I am. You’re welcome. If you come to Darby, I’ll pay for your flight, and I will buy you a nice dinner as soon as you get here like a gentleman. It will possibly be in a bar, but it will count. Please God, like meat. Your application was funny. I ain’t much of a looker, but I think our senses of humor could match.

Colt

 

By the end of that epically long text, Karis was smiling. She could feel the expression stretching her face. It was nice. How long had it been since someone had made her smile?

I ain’t a looker.

Well, she’d expected that. If he was, he probably wouldn’t have a problem finding a mate. She could handle plain men, so long as they were nice and stuck around. In fact, an unappealing man was even better. There would be less of a chance he would ever be more than a friend. So long as he kept up his end of the bargain and gave her that anchor, she could handle whatever he looked like.

As she moved her fingertip to respond to his text, a wave of panic took her.

Part of her wanted to delete the message and forget this whole thing.

But…

A bigger part of her was still stunned by her lingering smile, but she was taking it as a good sign. She wasn’t a looker either, so maybe they would be a good match. He wouldn’t be disappointed. Not like Jackson was. That man had been out of her league, and he’d reminded her of that too often. No chance of that happening with Colt.

With trembling fingers, she typed out:

 

Hi, Colt. I’m Karis. Well…Sarah probably already told you that. I liked your message. I guess I should tell you that you are the first to ever respond to my application, so you’re my first match too. Poppin’ my cherry, lol. I would love to ‘Meet and Meat.’ Vegetables aren’t my gig. Favorite meal is porkchops and I once had a pet guinea pig named Bart. As for my animal? I think she is something you should see instead of hear about, if we get to that point. She’s hard to explain. I would like it very much if I could come to Darby. Tell your sister hi.

Affection and Porkchops,

Your wannabe girlfriend/partner/roommate/baby momma/this is definitely weird and I also don’t know what I’m doing.

 

It took her ten minutes to build up the courage to push the send button, but she did. And now there was no turning back. She sat in her car, in the cold, outside of the office where she hated her job. It was time for a complete life-change. It was terrifying, but at the same time, it was exhilarating to fantasize about not feeling this unfulfilled forever.

Broken hearts made girls like Karis Dunway do unthinkable things.

Now, she was officially a smear across rock bottom. A breeder. Karis shook her head and swallowed hard. She should feel shame, but instead, she felt nothing. Nothing but a tiny tingling sensation at the corners of her lips where her smile still lingered.

Colt, the unsightly joker, was something she hadn’t experienced in a while.

Colt was hope…or at the very least, he was a distraction from the hurt.