There was just something about snow. Karis could smell it, even from the loft, with all the windows and doors of Colton’s little cabin closed. Below, he was getting dressed and making coffee, filling the small house with the sounds and smells that would make up every morning from here on if she stayed. But she lay above, thinking about the white flakes that floated down just outside the loft window. Her polar bear loved the snow. She’d been happy as a little clam from the moment Colton had touched her body and convinced her heart to stay. And her happiness was making her bear want to celebrate. The bear was scratching for release. And Karis knew exactly what she would do. She would roll around in the cold white powder in utter joy because she thrived in cold like this.

Home.

Home.

Home.

Was this home?

The small bedroom was illuminated only by the first rays of sunrise, so everything was cast in gray hues. The ladder creaked as Colt climbed them, and his eyes went right to her the second he peaked over the ledge of the loft.

Colt laid down beside her and murmured against her neck, “I have to go, but I don’t want to.”

She giggled because he hadn’t shaved, and his whiskers tickled her sensitive skin. Cupping his cheek gently, she whispered, “Then don’t. Be a lazy ranch hand and spend all day in bed with me.”

“And do what, woman? You’ve drained me. My dick is gonna be shooting dust if I don’t get a break.”

Karis cracked up, and he made it worse, or perhaps better, by tickling her ribs.

“Needy woman,” he growled. “I barely got any sleep.”

“Sleeping is for quitters and suckers,” she said through her giggles.

“Yeah, well, I have a long day working with Trigger, who is a moody dick lately.”

She frowned and eased back a few inches. “Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“Besides the fact that he harbors a literal monster of a bear? We have our first trail ride next week, and he’s like ninety-four percent sure he is going to eat the tourists.”

“Uh, is that an actual concern for you?” she asked, feeling a lot-a-bit worried now.

“Meh. I’d say it’s only an eighty-two percent chance. Only fifty-percent for me.”

“Ha,” she laughed, but the noise faded in her throat because he didn’t seem to be joking.

“Why the hell are you setting up a trail riding business if both of you are dangerous to humans?”

“Ava is making us so we don’t lose the ranch. This is the Hail Mary.”

“Colt! Get your ass out here. We have shit to do!” a booming voice called from outside. Oh, that voice was full of gravel and a little bit terrifying.

“Gotta go.” Dressed warm for the day, Colt stood and put his cowboy hat on, then disappeared over the edge of the loft. He didn’t even take the stairs, just stepped off the side and landed with an echoing thud below.

Karis scrambled to the edge of the mattress and stared over the side. Colt glanced up at her, his bright gold eyes blazing, looking rugged and dangerous with all those scars. His smile tipped up bigger on one side. “Your hair looks so sexy right now.”

Karis had been clutching the blanket to her to cover up her naked body, but she released the soft comforter and patted the side of her hair. She laughed. It was a snarled-up mess. “I probably look like a disaster.”

“You look perfect. You look like you’ve been well-fucked. I’ll try to get away for lunch. Ava’s in the big house working today if you get lonely. Good luck with the squirrel.”

The door clicked closed behind him, and she was left with a big, dumb grin on her face. Lunch sounded nice. Genie had made her way to the top loft window and was sitting on the sill, staring at Karis with hatred swimming in her eyes.

That squirrel was a pill.

With a sigh, Karis scrambled from the bed, which was really just a comfy mattress on the ground, quickly made it, then turned to scramble down the stairs to get ready for the day and brush the tangles from her hair. Only when she made it to the ledge, her phone beeped with a text. And another. And another, and a bunch more, and what the heck was happening?

She had eighteen separate messages by the time she made it to her cell—all from Mom, Dad, and her bevy of overprotective brothers.

What the actual fuck, Karis?! You’re a breeder?

Call me back the second you’re alone.

Please tell me you haven’t signed a contract with a stranger.

She didn’t even get through reading them all when Mom called.

“Oh no,” she whispered, feeling sick. This was her nightmare, them finding out before she could properly explain Colton.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Karis Marie Dunway, please tell me the rumors are wrong!”

“Mom, I can explain—”

“So they aren’t?” Dad yelled in the background.

“Am I on speaker?”

“Yes!” a trio of masculine voices piped up.

“Mark, Wade, and Trevor came over when we got the news,” Mom explained.

“Okay, first off, where did you hear this? Everything is supposed to be done privately until we’re ready to talk about—”

“Jackson told us!” Dad yelled. “You left him to be a breeder? What is going on?”

The mention of her ex’s name was like a bomb going off in her chest. It was instant pain. “I—I—” How did she even respond to this?

“Spit it out, baby,” Mom said. “Why would you leave Jackson to do this…this…awful, degrading thing?”

The snap of anger made her find her voice real quick. “I didn’t leave him for this. He tricked me. He lied. I found out he can’t have babies, and he was never going to settle down with me. We’ve been split up for two months.”

“Good God, Karis!” Trevor griped in the background. “And you couldn’t tell any of us this? You had to go and advertise yourself as a breeder instead of leaning on your family?”

“I got paired up with someone who is very nice.”

“Don’t care,” Mark said. “He picked you out of a catalogue like some mail order bride. Fuck this. Mom’s right. It’s completely degrading.”

“I want a cub!”

“Listen—” Mom murmured.

“No, you listen. All of you. I’m grown. My biological clock is ticking, and I don’t have what you all have. I didn’t find a mate the old-fashioned way. What are my choices now? Start over? I was with Jackson for ten years, and he tricked me. He never proposed, he didn’t even like coming with me to family parties. He let me go to all of them knowing how silly I felt not having him by my side. Not having anyone by my side. I was with him, and I was completely alone at the same time. He betrayed me. He used me to make himself happy, knowing…knowing…he had no intention of trying to make me happy back.” A stupid, humiliating sob escaped her, and her shoulders sagged as she plopped down on the mattress. Twin tears raced down her cheeks, but she wiped them with the back of her hand roughly. “I got really hurt, and this is my chance to be with someone who can give me what I want without that risk of having my heart pulverized again. I’m just trying to get through my life right now, and it doesn’t matter what you say. I’m going to do what I want.” Breath hitching, she hung up the phone and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

Shame. That’s what this awful, gnawing feeling was. It was shame. Shame heated her cheeks, and shame made her clench her fists, and shame made her panic. In a frenzy, she packed her suitcase. And when it was full, she jammed her knee onto the top and forced the zipper closed. Pissed that Jackson had ruined the morning, that he’d ruined her life, that he’d ruined everything, Karis typed out a text to Jackson.

I don’t know how you found out I’m a breeder, but it’s horrible that you went to my family. After all you’ve done to hurt me, you took another shot at me? Thank you for showing me what love is not.

Send.

It’s like he had sensed her happiness. Like he had picked just when she was feeling okay to hurt her again. Telling her family? Before she could explain? He had made this so much worse than it was supposed to be.

A breeder. The way her family had said the word was like a knife in her gut.

Could she do this to them?

Could she really?

Her family now thought she was pathetic, and now their entire shifter community would find out because Jackson would make sure she was shamed into oblivion. That’s how he was. That’s how he fought. These were the types of tantrums he threw if something didn’t go his way.

If she had a tail, it would’ve been tucked firmly under her legs as she shimmied down the ladder with her suitcase. Was she going to throw up? She didn’t feel good.

In a rush, she pulled on her jacket as she bolted for the door. Out of her mind and spiraling, she shoved open the door and ducked just in time for Genie to go sailing over her head, eyes intent on Karis, little arms outstretched, mouth open, exposing those little mini-beaver teeth. The one-pound demon hit a column of the porch and held on, but before she could turn and attack again, Karis bellowed, “Stop!” Her bear’s roar scratched up her vocal chords until her throat hurt. Genie froze like the intelligent little critter she was and, good on her, because Karis was in the mood for squirrel stew right about now.

One of the wheels broke as she was dragging her suitcase down the stairs, and here came the waterworks again. Could anything just go right?

“Hey! Hi! Hello!” a girl with shoulder-length black curls called, waving her hand as she jogged toward her.

Nope. No. She couldn’t meet Ava right now. She felt like a total wreck and just wanted to walk herself to the nearest bus station.

“Karis, right?” Ava called, running faster.

Shit. She wasn’t going to make it away from this little sprinter without a confrontation.

Karis dashed her hands over her cheeks again and sniffed. She stomped her foot once in the snow and leveled Ava with a look. “I’m on my way out.”

“I can see that, but it’s like two degrees and it’s a long way to town.”

Karis frowned. “I don’t understand. I thought you were trying to stop me from leaving.”

Ava snorted. “My brother is the ranch idiot. I’m surprised you stayed this long. Hop in the truck and I’ll take you. I’ve got an extra set of keys.” Ava walked around the front of Colt’s old truck, muttering to herself. “I mean, I’m not supposed to have extra keys, but I made extras of everything because the boys would lose their dicks if they weren’t attached to their nethers, so he can thank me later.”

Karis would’ve laughed if she wasn’t so devastated right now. She looked back at the little cabin, and a strange feeling hit her. Sadness replaced her panic. She was really going to leave.

But…she should…right? She wasn’t meant to be a breeder, and she’d disappointed all the people who meant the most to her. And now she would disappoint Colt.

Slowly, Karis ripped her gaze away from the cozy little home and made her way to the truck. Genie was watching her go, and for the first time, the squirrel didn’t look evil. She looked as happy as a little bushy-tailed clam. Great. At least Karis wasn’t a disappointment to someone.

Karis tossed the suitcase in the bed of the truck and climbed in. Ava turned over the engine and they were off. For one entire minute, Karis watched the winter woods of the Two Claws Ranch pass by. But just as she was relaxing back into the seat to wrap her head around what she was really doing, Ava slammed on the brakes and rocked the truck to a stop.

The pretty, blue-eyed girl gripped the steering wheel. “You’re a runner.” Her frozen breath chugged in front of her with every word.

“Not usually, but right now I have to be.”

“I think you should read that,” she murmured, shoving the book Colt had made across the bench seat until it bumped the side of Karis’s leg.

“I don’t want to. That will just make this harder.”

“My brother has his issues. He has his hang-ups. But I can say this. If you give him a chance and let him get loyal? You’ll never find a man who will treat you better. Once he picks his people, he will die for you.” Ava blinked slowly and looked over at Karis. “If you run, you’ll always wonder what-if. Especially on a man like Colt. He’s my brother. I give him shit and pick at him, but I’ll tell you the truth. No sugar coating anything, no embellishing. He’s a good one. To his core good. He raised me. I was ungrateful, but he raised me anyway and never made me feel bad for acting out. He sacrificed everything to make sure I had a chance in this world. He gave up his youth. While other boys were out partying, he was working three jobs to keep the lights on and food on the table. He didn’t have to do that, but he did, and he hid how hard it was on him. Hid the strain. I’m only finding out now how much he’s done for me because Trigger tells me. Colt is someone who will put in the quiet work and never quit. But if you quit right now? You’ll never get to know the man behind the scars, and that would be tragic, because he’s a really good one.” She shrugged up one shoulder and said, “Well, he’s an outlaw and he fights all the damn time and his bear is a monster to deal with and his taste in music leaves something to be desired… He also drinks straight out of the milk carton, but other than that…he’s good.”

“I thought you were just going to drive me into town,” Karis muttered.

“I changed my mind. I can’t do that to Colt. You should’ve seen his face every time you texted him back over this past week. He’s a tough guy, but I watched his eyes light up, and he would read your responses more than once. I could tell. And that was in front of me. He’s usually tougher in front of me, but he couldn’t help the excited look on his face. So…I’m giving you the choice. I’m gonna walk back to the house, but I’ll leave the keys in the ignition. You choose on your own whether to leave or not. But I’m asking one thing before you go. Please…please…just read the book. See a peek at the man you’re leaving. You owe it to yourself and to him. He spent every last bit of his savings to fly you here on the off-chance you liked him back.” Ava stuck out her hand, clad in a pink mitten. “I’m Ava.”

Karis hesitated for a few moments, then shook her hand. “I’m Karis, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. I hope it’s not the last I see of you.” Ava’s smile was kind but worried as she slid out of the truck. And without looking back, she tramped along the tire marks behind the truck in the direction of the cabins, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets as she did.

In a rush, Karis slid over the bench seat and settled in behind the wheel. But when she went to put the truck in gear, she couldn’t make her hand move. She just sat there, holding the shift lever, staring out the front window. Chest heaving, she looked over at the book lying on the seat next to her.

With shaking fingers, she picked it up and flipped it open to the first page.

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite food: Pizza. Or steak. Okay pizza when I was human, and now it’s steak. But rare steak. And I can say this because you are a shifter so you won’t judge.

Favorite time of year: Autumn when the leaves turn and everything in the woods smells different. Richer.

Favorite music: Elevator music. Lol just kidding. I like the screamy stuff and death metal. And Adele, but don’t tell Trigger or I’ll deny it until my dying breath and put my balls on your toothbrush.

Favorite drink: cheap whiskey and coke

Favorite position: Reverse cowboy. Seriously, Karis, if you’re ever searching for a birthday present for me? Let me watch your ass while you ride my dick.

Whoa, that made her stomach clench, and a tiny smile ghosted her lips at the memories of last night. She hadn’t been the only needy one.

Okay, this first page was generic enough. She was feeling good about this. She could still remain detached.

Karis turned the page, but it wasn’t Colt’s handwriting scrawled across the page. It was his handwriting scrawled across a piece of lined paper that had been ripped out of a notebook or journal and taped to the page. It was dated six years ago.

I think she’s gone for good. This sucks. I don’t remember my mom. I don’t even remember what she looks like, but I have it in my head that Ava looks like her, so I just imagine her but older. I still miss my mom, and sometimes I imagine I can remember her laugh. It’s the strangest thing. With my dad? I don’t give a shit about remembering him. I wish I could forget. Ava had it built up in her mind that he was a good dad, but he sucked. He put us down all the time and wouldn’t work. Wouldn’t take care of us. Wouldn’t buy Ava new clothes when she outgrew hers, or fix her hair before school, or even look at her. I watched for him to. He would avoid looking at her. I hated that part. I tried to understand him. Sometimes I tried to convince myself that he didn’t want to look at her because she looks like Mom did. But then I remember he wouldn’t look at me either, and I look like him. Sucks to look in the mirror and see the person you hate the most genetically imprinted on your face. First Mom, and then Dad, and now Ava’s all that’s left, and she ain’t comin’ back. I’m thinking of going up to Alabama and paying her a visit.

The next page was another journal entry.

Welp, no more worrying about looking like Dad. My face is ruined. Something awful happened before I could get to Alabama. Before I could get to Ava. I’m different now. I’m changed on the inside. I used to be steady, and I was proud of that. Despite the shit my Dad put me through, I fought hard to be a good man. I fought hard to be the opposite of him, and now look at me. I still can’t look in the mirror, but it’s for different reasons now. No girl is gonna settle for this hideous face. Better beef up my personality or win the lottery, ha. Fuck. I don’t even care about the devil in me half as much as I care about losing Ava. How can I bring her back home now? Trigger’s all I got left. My only friend, and he’s the one who did this to me. I’ll never forgive him.

Karis gasped softly and covered her mouth with her hand as she turned the page.

Pain, pain, pain, pain. My whole life is pain. The devil in me is eating me from the inside out. I can’t stop it. Can’t keep it from destroying the man I wanted to be. Every night I’m breaking and Trigger won’t talk to me anymore. He just watches the monster he gave me bend my bones. Loneliness is the biggest pain. Feels like I’m bleeding out, and I ain’t got no red on me.

Next page.

Things are looking up. Trigger took over one of the local MCs, and he’s doing good things for the community with it. Okay, we get into trouble. A lot of trouble. And we do a lot of shit we ain’t supposed to do, but I know he took over this motorcycle club for me. He’s trying to give me a family. Trying to give me friends. Brothers. Yesterday he made me his vice president. I’m so fucking proud of this VP patch on my cut. I tried to tell Ava, but she won’t pick up the phone. I get it. I wish I could run away from this place too. I hope she’s doing good. I wonder about my sister all the time.

Next page.

It was a black and white photograph of a dozen beefed-up men in sleeveless shirts with motorcycle vests on, standing behind a Harley, mean-mugging the camera. Colt was the only one smiling. He looked happy.

Next page.

It was an obituary. It was the death announcements for four of the men in his motorcycle club.

Next page.

There was a picture of Colt sitting on a bay horse, his back to the camera, sunrise over a river in front of him. He was looking over his shoulder at whoever took the photograph, and the scars on his face looked so raw and red. The wounds still looked open, but they must’ve been years old by then. There was a handwritten caption under the taped picture. Back at Two Claws Ranch. Trig’s Dad passed, and he needs help to keep this place running. The MC is done. My Harley is sitting in the back shed and it’s a fuckin’ tragedy. I can’t even look at it anymore without missing the guys. We ain’t got no money to keep this place running. We need cattle prices to go up like…yesterday. Also, I need to get laid. Like…yesterday. I’ve been single too damn long and I think it’s making my inner devil go crazy. Trig keeps watching me like he’s worried. He should be.

Next page.

This one had a sketch of a cow with a little calf nursing off her. It was a quick drawing and all smudged with whatever medium he’d been using. Charcoal perhaps.

Next page.

It’s a strange feeling going from raising a kid sister to having nothing and no one to take care of. I feel like I have no purpose. I keep waiting for this instinct to fade, but the longer she’s gone, the worse it gets. There is a good possibility I’m broken. Or maybe I was never right in the first place.

Next page.

This was lined with movie tickets. All action adventures. At the bottom it said, Guess what my favorite kind of movie is? Hint: No, Karis, it’s not porn.

Karis huffed a laugh and turned to the last page.

It was a picture of Ava and, she guessed, Trigger. They were standing in a clearing, looking out at some woods, side-by-side. Where they held hands, Colt had circled it with red marker and drawn an arrow to a caption. Someday, I want this.

Someday I want this. She read that part over and over, and she knew down to her bones she couldn’t leave like this. Ava was right. Colt deserved for her to try.

Karis pulled her phone out of her purse and connected a call to Mom.

“Hey, Karis,” Mom answered.

“Put me on speaker.”

The line clicked, and Karis said, “Yes, I’m a breeder, and no, I didn’t tell you about it because I was ashamed and scared of what you all would think of me. I thought you would see me as the failure I am. But I found something really surprising here in this tiny town called Darby, Montana. A man. A nice man. A shifter like us, whose animal can deal with mine. And he treats me nice, and he’s interesting, and I’m going to stay here for a while and try to figure out what I want. And I need you to support me.”

There was a long pause before her dad murmured, “Okay.”

“Todd,” her mom whispered.

“No, honey. She’s telling us she has to do something. And what will it help for us to give her grief? She’s right. She’s grown, and she’ll do it anyway. We can make her miserable while she figures this out, or we can accept it and hope she makes the right decision.”

Karis could just imagine her mom and brothers shaking their heads, but Mom said, “Okay then. Let us know if you need anything. Keep us in the loop.”

Karis smiled as her throat thickened up with emotion. “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too,” Trevor muttered, “even though you smell like poo.”

“Poet!” Mark crowed, and there was a slapping sound of a high five.

Feeling better about standing her ground, Karis said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. When she looked out the window, Colt was there, leaned up against a tree, his cowboy hat riding low over his fiery eyes. His lips were set in a grim, thin line, but he wasn’t moving to stop her from leaving.

Karis huffed a sigh and scooted over to the passenger’s side. Hugging up the book with one hand, she waved him to the truck with the other.

Colt pushed off the tree and made his way to the driver’s side. He got in, closed the door beside him, but didn’t speak. He only sat there, his hands clenched against his thighs.

Karis slid over to the spot beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. And staring out the front window at the winter woods, she admitted, “I got scared.”

“Well, when I heard you roar ‘Stop,’ you sure as hell didn’t sound scared.”

She giggled and rested her hand on his thigh. “Genie and I were fighting. Again. Take me back to the cabin?”

“You sure?” he asked. “Because I don’t want to be scared of you turning chicken on me and running off. When I heard my truck engine, I thought I lost you. It wasn’t my favorite feeling.”

“This book is really special,” she murmured, running her hand down the glossy spine. “Getting to see this side of you makes me want to try.”

“Don’t run again without saying goodbye.” His whisper was raw and tugged at her heart. She’d hurt him. Him. A big tough grizzly bear shifter. He really did like her, and that was to be treasured, not thrown away.

“Take me home,” she whispered back, searching his gold eyes.

Colt leaned over and kissed her temple, rested his hand over hers on his thigh, and turned the truck around.

They weren’t just breeders anymore, waiting to put ink to a contract. The book had changed that.

The book had made this real.

No more running from the things that scared her.

A good man like Colt deserved for Karis to find her courage and make a stand.