CHAPTER THREE
IT HAD BEEN a very long day, but Avery wasn’t tired. Not anymore. While watching the bus leave her behind, she’d experienced an odd disquiet.
Not because of Rowdy. Even when he tried to be intimidating, his presence provided only reassurance. He wouldn’t hurt her, and he wouldn’t let anyone else hurt her.
But someone had been nearby, watching her, waiting. She shivered in dread. She wanted to blame it on bad memories, on dread from that earlier phone call, but she knew better. She’d learned to trust her instincts.
And her instincts told her the night wasn’t safe.
Now, trailing behind Rowdy, her hand held in his, she worried that she might be leading trouble to his door. He could handle it, of that she had no doubt.
But her problems were her own, and she didn’t want them dumped on him.
Looking back again, she still saw nothing.
“Worried someone will see you with me?” He shifted his hand to the small of her back and urged her inside.
She was, but not for the reasons he thought. “I heard something,” she lied. She’d heard only her own turbulent thoughts.
Taking her seriously, he glanced back, his gaze searching everywhere. A few doors down, a couple got into a car and pulled away. Across the street, three men laughed drunkenly as they made their way down the sidewalk. In the distance, a siren whined and a dog barked.
Seeming distracted, he murmured, “The night echoes everything and makes it sound closer than it is.” After another scrutiny of the area, he turned back to her. “You don’t need to be nervous with me.”
“If you say so.”
The building they entered used to be a warehouse, but had since been divided into four rental units. It had a certain industrial appeal, with concrete interior walls, metal stairs and open ceilings. Overall, it suited Rowdy, being strong and sturdy like him, but also polished in a nice way.
“I’m on the second floor.”
Avery looked up to a huge skylight in the very high ceiling. “Wow.” Holding on to the welded handrails, she went ahead of Rowdy up the open, diamond-plate stair treads. Everywhere she looked, she saw something cool, like the exposed ductwork and pipes.
“This way.” Rowdy took her to a thick steel door, opened several locks, pushed the heavy door open and flipped on overhead fluorescent lights.
They stepped into a small landing above the rest of the living area. Following Rowdy down four clattering metal steps brought her to a sparse sitting area that held a worn couch and chair, one table and lamp, and a moderately sized flat screen television on an entertainment stand.
Only the television looked new.
Beyond that, at the far side of the room, freestanding L-shaped bookshelves formed a wall to separate the kitchen and laundry area on the left from the bed, dresser and nightstand on the right. Avery assumed the one and only closed door led to a bathroom.
She took in the wall of tall arched windows that would overlook his bar, then to the polished wood-plank floors.
“It was close,” Rowdy said, as if defending his choice.
“It’s pretty impressive actually.” Especially compared to where she now lived. She touched a thick round metal support beam in the middle of the floor. “Doing a little pole dancing of your own?”
He crossed his arms. “No, but if you feel like giving it a try, go ahead. I’ll wait.”
She fought off a grin. “No thanks.”
“Spoilsport.” He headed off to the kitchen area.
Still taking in the uniqueness of his apartment, Avery said, “Know what I don’t understand?”
“I can guess.” His boots made little noise on the thick floors. “You’re wondering why I didn’t just hook up here, instead of in my office.”
It did make her very curious. “Wouldn’t it have been a lot more...convenient?” He had a bed at his disposal instead of a desk chair. Not that he’d let it hinder him, from what she’d seen.
“Probably,” he agreed. “But I didn’t want her in my place.” He flipped a switch and more light spilled from the kitchen.
Avery realized that not only could he see his bar, but now, with the bright lights on inside, anyone on the street would be able to see him, too. She made sure to stay out of view. “Why not?”
From the counter, he lifted a set of keys. “I’m private, that’s why.”
Unbelievable. “You could have been a lot more private here than in your office!” While Avery found his living space pretty awesome, it was bare-bones, not a single personal item on display. No photos, not even of his sister. That disappointed her. She’d never met Pepper, and she was very curious.
He did have a nice display of books on his bookshelves.
“I told you, I wasn’t expecting anyone to show up.” He returned to her, the keys jangling in his hand. “This is the first permanent place I’ve had. Before this, it was rotating motel rooms. If I took a woman there, no big deal because by the next day I’d be gone.”
So no woman would be able to track him down? That attitude concerned her, but wondering where he’d moved, and why, took precedence. “Gone where?”
“It’s a long story.” He tried to steer her back to the stairs.
Avery held on to the pole, resisting him.
He eyed her, worked his jaw and said, “You’re not going to let it go, are you?”
This might be her best chance to get insight into his background. How could she pass that up? “Is it a big secret?” she teased. “Were you on the run from the law? Dodging child support? A transient?”
Rowdy narrowed his eyes—and stalked toward her. “On the run, yeah. But not from the law.”
“Seriously?” That so surprised her that it took her a moment to see that particular look in his eyes. She’d only seen it a few times—right before he’d kissed her. One of those times happened while hiding him in a storage closet at the bar because a gang of ruffians wanted to take him apart.
Since then, he’d only stolen a kiss or two—and she always craved more. Dangerous.
But maybe that incident was indicative of his life. “Do you always have people after you?”
“Often enough.”
He said that without jest! Hastily, Avery back-stepped behind the pole, considered going farther, but really, where did she have to go? The couch was against the wall, the chair too far away....
Catching her wrist and pulling her around to him, Rowdy said softly, “Don’t run from me.”
“I wasn’t.” But her heart pumped as if she’d been on a five-minute sprint.
With the back of one finger, he caressed the pulse in her throat. “Fibber.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” Whatever secrets Rowdy had in his history, he wasn’t a threat to her. She’d known dishonorable men, and she knew Rowdy was different. “Maybe you’re the one who should stop running.”
“From you?”
Was she chasing him? Mmm...pretty much. Until now, she just hadn’t realized it. “Yes.”
His gaze warmed. “I don’t run from anyone.”
Knowing it would spur him on, she whispered, “Good.”
But when he started to pull her against him, she flattened both hands to his chest.
He drew in a breath. “No?”
Disappointment kept her voice low. “You were with another woman just this morning.”
He looked struck, almost like he’d forgotten. “Yeah, sorry.” Releasing her, he stepped away. “Guess for a woman like you, that puts a damper on things?”
For other women it wouldn’t? She curled her lip. “Yeah, afraid so.” But she wished it was otherwise. “Why were you on the run?”
Resigned, he said, “It had nothing to do with dodging my duty, so forget that.”
“No little Rowdys running around?”
“Hell, no. I’m always careful, but if it did happen, you can bet I wouldn’t bail on them.”
She believed him. From what she’d seen so far, Rowdy never shirked his responsibility, whatever he decided his responsibility might be. “Okay.”
Maybe thinking she mocked him, he studied her a moment before being satisfied with her sincerity. “I would never do that to a kid.”
Hands behind her, she leaned back against the pole. “So...why did you move around?”
“Mostly because the idea of settling down never appealed to me.”
“Wanderlust?” Before her life had taken such a drastic turn, she’d enjoyed traveling everywhere in the States and often around the world. Before she was twenty, she’d already been to more than two dozen hot tourist spots.
“Hardly. I stayed in the area.”
“The area being Ohio?”
He shrugged. “My sister was here. Still is, but now she’s with Logan and she doesn’t need...” He stopped, cursed low and let out a long breath. Indicating the couch, he said, “If we’re going to do this, you want to sit down?”
“This, meaning talk?”
His mouth quirked. “Unless you have something else on your mind.”
She had all kinds of things on her mind, but none of them were appropriate. “Talk it is.”
“Then I’ll give you my bare-bones history.”
Jumping on that promise, Avery headed for the couch. “Why only the bare bones?”
Rowdy sat close beside her and stretched out one arm along the back of the couch. “It’s a long story, it’ll be morning soon and I don’t feel like rehashing it all.”
“I suppose you’re tired.” From what she could tell, he’d been up all night. If he’d slept at all, it would only have been for a few hours before coming in to work again. That should have made her feel guilty for keeping him awake, but she remembered why he hadn’t slept and it irked her.
As if he knew her thoughts, Rowdy smiled. “We can talk until the sun rises if that’s what you really want to do.”
It wouldn’t be the worst way to spend the night. “You don’t need to sleep?”
His attention moved over her face, her throat, her shoulders. “I’ve never needed much sleep.”
Given the intensity of his gaze, she almost felt naked. “You’re sure?”
His fingers trailed down her ponytail. “Fire away, honey, before I forget my promise.”
Avery tried to relax. It wasn’t easy, not with her thigh touching his, his heat surrounding her, his presence so...overwhelming—as usual.
To start, she went back a little in history. “That time I hid you in the pantry at the bar, I asked if you were in trouble, and you said pretty much always.”
“I have no problem making up shit when necessary, but for some reason I didn’t want to lie to you.”
Had he never lived aboveboard? What type of upbringing made him so casually accepting of difficulty? “There were five men searching the bar for you. Why?”
His hand stilled. “Because I’d asked too many questions, and I was getting too close.”
“Too close to what?”
“A trafficking operation.” She started to ask, but he shook his head. “No, not drugs. Women.”
Her throat tightened. “That’s...”
He agreed with a nod. “Totally fucked up, I know. I hid because there were too many of them. Three or four I could handle.” He held up a hand for her to see. “I’m a big man with big fists. When I hit someone, he feels it.” He rested his hand on her thigh. “I know how to fight dirty, and I know how to win. But five men at once? That would be pushing it.”
Of course, she recalled another time when he’d taken apart the goons who’d been involved in forcing women to transport drugs. It had all transpired in the bar just prior to Rowdy buying it. He’d fought with such ease, walking through the men as if they were nothing at all. “I’ve seen you fight. You’re dangerous.”
“You learn to be when it’s necessary.”
Sitting more or less snuggled into his side, she inhaled the warm musk of his skin with every breath. That, combined with the idea of him playing defender for so many women in need, left her liquid with desire. Rowdy used his size and strength to protect.
Such an admirable trait to have.
So different from her own personal experience.
Without even trying that hard—just by being himself—Rowdy pulled her from her self-imposed exile. “You’re a regular white knight, aren’t you?”
He eased closer. “Want to see my sword?”
A hero and a comedian. “You’re outrageous.” Avery smoothed a hand over his shoulder, enjoying the contrast of the soft T-shirt stretched taut over his solid frame. “Why was it necessary for you to learn?”
Her touch caused a brief pause and the tensing of his muscles. “What?”
“To fight.” She knew very few people who ever engaged in physical confrontations. While growing up, the only fights she’d ever witnessed had been in sporting matches. In her world, men had ruled with money and prestige, not brute strength.
Her one and only experience with physical anger had sent her running away and into hiding. “You’re so good, you make it look...effortless.”
He studied her, his attention far too intuitive. “You know I have a younger sister.”
And that explained his need to fight? One day, Avery would love to meet Pepper. “You two are close?”
His concentrated attention strayed from her mouth to her collarbone to her hair. “Our folks died in a car crash a long time ago, so it’s just the two of us.”
Oh, God, so tragic. In sympathy, Avery reached for his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” As if it didn’t matter at all, he laced his fingers with hers and said, “They were a waste of breath.”
The harsh words threw her, leaving her wide-eyed and speechless. She still grieved for her father, who’d died years past.
She mourned what would never again be, and for how everything had irrevocably changed—not for the better.
Rowdy turned her hand over, brushed his thumb over her palm. “My parents were both miserable drunks.” He explored the thrumming pulse in her wrist. “That’s how I got my name.”
Her stomach dipped when he put a damp, warm kiss to her wrist, followed by the soft touch of his tongue.
She needed to get him back on track, and fast—before she forgot her reasons for waiting. “I think you told me once that your mom was a Clint Eastwood fan. I assume that’s why she named you after one of his characters.”
Sardonic humor curved his mouth. “She claimed that she went into labor during a three-day drinking binge and couldn’t remember any other names. She and Dad would laugh about the good times, which usually led to a rip-roaring drunk and a lot of bitching about how kids got in the way of having fun.”
The insensitivity of his parents both angered and saddened her. “They actually told you that?”
His mellow gaze showed total disregard for the cruelty. “The night they wrecked, they took out six other cars. Luckily no one else died, but a lot of people got banged up pretty good.”
Emotion squeezed the air out of her lungs, making her chest hurt. “You weren’t with them?”
He shook his head. “I was pretty young still when I learned to recognize the signs. Mom would get giddy, or Dad would smile a certain way, and I knew they planned to tie one on. I’d hide with Pepper so they couldn’t take us.” Looking beyond her, he drew in two slow breaths. “When I got big enough, around the time I turned twelve or so, I just flat out refused to go. They figured leaving me behind was easier than the fight it took to take us along.”
So young! Her eyes burned with the idea of how he’d lived his youth. “Pepper...”
“I kept her with me.”
She was glad to hear it, but how much strength had it taken for a boy at that young age to defy alcoholic parents?
Rowdy traced the lines in her palm. “I was home with Pepper when we got the news they were dead.” His hand tightened on hers. “She cried for two days straight.”
That poor girl. “How old was she?”
“Fifteen. Plenty old enough to understand that we’d been on the radar for children’s services for years. She figured with our folks gone, she’d end up in a foster home.”
A vise of sorrow closed around Avery’s heart. Now she understood what had forged Rowdy’s hard edge—pure survival. “How old were you?”
“Just turned eighteen.”
On the run. Avery already knew, but asked anyway. “You took off with your sister, didn’t you?”
“That seemed better than being separated. And we did okay for a few years. At times, it was even kind of fun.”
Because he no longer had abuse to deal with? She fought the unbearable urge to hug him tightly, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it.
Not for the reasons motivating her.
Without her realizing it, Rowdy tugged the cloth-covered band from her hair, freeing it.
“Rowdy...” She reached back to gather the unruly mass, but he already had his fingers tangled in it, spreading it out, bringing it forward over her shoulder.
As if fascinated with her hair, he watched his hand instead of meeting her gaze. “Pepper had grown up without much, so she didn’t feel like we were missing anything. Long as we had a roof over our heads and enough to eat, she was happy.”
Gently, Avery said, “I think being happy had more to do with having her big brother around.”
“Maybe.” He gave a gruff laugh of disgust. “I screwed up a lot of stuff, but most of all when I got us both jobs in a high-end club. The pay was great. I was able to save up some money and keep Pepper close at hand.”
Had he been protecting Pepper his whole life? First from his parents, and then from well-meaning authorities?
If so, where did that leave Rowdy?
Who had looked out for him?
Avery tried to imagine him as a little boy stuck in a bar while his parents drank themselves into oblivion. At thirteen, hiding with his sister. At eighteen, on the run from the establishment.
“You did the best you could.” Always.
Something shifted in his demeanor, the sadness replaced with iron will—yet his touch remained gentle as he toyed with a long lock of her red hair. “By the time I realized the club owner was a murdering bastard, it was too late.”
Oh, no. Visions of horrible scenarios played out in her head. “You were hurt?”
“That would have been easier.”
Meaning he’d been hurt before? The thought crushed her, making it even more impossible to resist him.
Concern robbed her voice of strength. “Your sister?”
He nodded. “It’s a convoluted story, but the gist of it is that Pepper saw a city commissioner take a bullet to the brain.”
Stunned, Avery forgot about her hair and barely noticed when Rowdy lifted it to his face.
“She stuck to the shadows, so they didn’t at first know that she’d seen anything. I was working the floor as a bouncer, and Pepper didn’t want to chance telling me. Before I knew what had happened, she’d shared the details with a reporter.”
It took Avery a moment to find her voice. “Why not the police?”
As if it made perfect sense, and was to be expected, he said, “Powerful men have powerful contacts.”
Sadly, she knew something about powerful men. “Police?”
“Yeah. More than a few of the boys in blue hung out in the club. So many of them were on the take, Pepper didn’t know which ones, if any, were honest.”
That explained Rowdy’s distrust of the law. “A terrible situation.”
The back of his knuckles brushed her cheek, down the side of her neck. “Unfortunately, the boss also employed a few people at the newspaper. When the reporter tried calling in his ‘big story from Yates,’ he ended up with his throat cut. The only upside was that everyone figured me as the snitch.”
Covering her mouth with both hands, Avery waited to hear the rest of the story. She knew it wouldn’t be good.
He slid a hand around her jaw, tipped up her face. “We had few options, and no one to trust.”
Because they were all alone in the world. How tragically heartbreaking. “You became a target?”
He shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “For once, being a street rat came in handy. I had my own contacts, so I got Pepper a new identity and tucked her away in an apartment building I won in a card game. I stayed mobile, moving around so no one could get a bead on me. I was the one they remembered, the one they wanted. I figured without me, they wouldn’t find her.”
Meaning they’d ended up separated after all? It felt like her heart shattered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I covered our trails the best I could...” He locked his jaw and turned away. “But not good enough, since Logan Riske still found us.”
Logan, the detective his sister fell in love with, and vice versa. “I thought that was a good thing.”
“They’re in love. But it could have easily gone south, without the happy ending.”
Avery tried to take it in, but it wasn’t easy. “You said you won a building in a card game?”
“I have all kinds of talents.” He slid a finger along the neckline of her shirt, seducing her almost out of habit. “Want me to show you a few?”
His resourcefulness, his dedication to his sister, astounded her. She tipped her head. “Have you ever been arrested?”
He blew out a breath, and for the moment at least gave up on his seduction. “A few times when I was underage. Shoplifting and stuff like that.”
She wanted to ask him what he’d stolen, but it didn’t matter. Survival. Somehow she knew whatever he’d taken had been inspired by need, not greed. “And since then?”
His smile hardened. “I’ve gotten better—at everything I do.”
Knowing the outrageous comment was meant to distract her, Avery snorted. She had a feeling Rowdy was more honest than most. “What sort of illegal stuff do you do now?”
He opened his hand on the side of her neck, bent to kiss her temple. “Whatever I have to.”
“To protect the people you love?”
“What the hell, Avery?” He sat back from her. “Don’t make me out a saint, okay?”
“I would never make that mistake.” Rowdy was better than a saint, more solid and real. An honest-to-God tough guy, here in the flesh. She’d take that over an ethereal saint any day.
No longer caring what Rowdy thought, Avery slipped her arms around his neck and nestled against him.
“Damn it.” He stiffened without returning her embrace. “Here I am, getting more turned on by the second, and you want to slap a halo on my head.”
With her nose pressed close to the skin of his throat, she breathed deep, filling herself with his potent scent. He smelled so good, felt even better, and she admired him so much. “A halo would never fit over your massive ego.”
It’d be so easy to fall in love with him—and that was a problem. Rowdy wasn’t an emotional man looking for commitment. For the most part, he was a loner with an overactive sex drive and a lack of respect for boundaries of any kind.
“True, so don’t act like I was noble or something.” He caught her shoulders and tried to pry her loose. Avery held on until he finally gave up. Tangling a hand in her hair, he gently drew her head back. “I fucked up, you know. Pepper and I ended up living off the grid for more than two years. It was hard on her—”
Avery touched her mouth to his, saying, “She’s alive.”
His breathing quickened. “Thank God.”
“Thank Rowdy.” Smiling, she brushed her mouth over his again. Her fingertips touched his now-bristly jaw, moved down to the side of his hot neck then under the neckline of his shirt to his solid shoulder. Need unfurled, but she sat back before she got carried away.
Rowdy looked stunned.
And interested.
She wanted more. So much more.
Did she dare take a walk on the wild side?
She had a feeling that Rowdy would be more than worth the risk. As long as she kept her heart safe, what was the worst that could happen?
No, she didn’t want to think about the worst. Not now.
With Rowdy watching her warily, she forced herself back on track. “Since your sister is happily settled here, you’re going to settle down, too?”
Apparently uneasy with the idea of settling down, he shifted his shoulders and glanced around at the apartment. “For now, at least.”
He didn’t sound entirely set on the idea. But he’d bought the bar, and she knew he loved working it. He couldn’t pick up and disappear without her knowing. “Can I ask you one more question before we go?”
“Do I actually have a choice?”
Beneath his teasing tone, she heard the agitation. He worried that she’d dig too deep, that something he said would drive her away.
He couldn’t know how much she wanted him, because she’d taken pains to hide it from him. Maybe it was time to stop doing that.
“I want to know everything about you.” For most of his life, choices had been taken away from him. She’d never do that to him. “But I won’t pry anymore if it bothers you.”
That surprised him, too. He scowled at her. “Let’s hear it.”
Enjoying him like this, in this particular humble, grumbling mood, she rested against his chest again. “You said you didn’t want to bring a casual hookup here.”
“It’s bad enough that the ladies in the building keep bugging me. Some women don’t know how to take no for an answer.”
Few men would complain about that situation. “So...why is it okay if I’m here?”
Avery felt his sudden stillness, heard the heavy thumping of his strong heart along with his softly muttered curse.
She stayed close, waiting.
He let out a strained breath. “With you, Avery, I never really know what the hell I’m doing.”
* * *
THE COLD NIGHT started to seep into his bones. All around him he heard unsettling noises that made him jumpy. He wouldn’t be surprised if murder and mayhem happened on a regular basis in such a downtrodden area. It was time for him to go home. He had what he needed now.
He knew where she worked, and he knew who she fucked.
Putting a plan in place would be oh-so-easy.
Soon, Avery, he silently promised. Very, very soon.