Tally stared at Clio as her jaw dropped. Pregnant? She couldn’t be. But Clio said she was. Unless Tally had peed on the stick wrong. Could you get the peeing-on-the-stick bit wrong? She didn’t know, but one thing was certain: she was going to freak.

Having suffered panic attacks in the past, Tally recognised the signs—sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dizziness, nausea, and an overwhelming sense of being choked. Her hands clutched at her throat, and she began to pant.

“Okay, Tally,” Clio said, gently tugging Tally’s hands away from her neck. “Take it easy. Slow breaths. In and out. In and out. Come on, breathe with me. Forget everything else.”

It took a while, but after listening to Clio’s calm voice and her reassuring demeanour, Tally eventually calmed down. Her breathing returned to normal as the realisation swept over her that nothing was ever going to be normal again.

“Are you sure?” she whispered, a tiny nibble of hope rippling to the surface.

“We should get you properly checked out, but in my experience, these home tests are extremely reliable.”

Tally thrust the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Oh God,” she muttered.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Clio said.

Of course it’s the end of the world. “Do you mind giving me some space? I need to sort my head out.”

“No problem.” Clio began to walk out of the room, glancing back at the last minute. “I’ll arrange for a trip to Leros.”

Tally frowned. “Why?”

“You need to see a doctor. Get a scan and a blood test. We don’t have the correct facilities on the island to give you the proper prenatal care.”

Fear congealed in Tally’s chest. She’d never thought about how difficult medical care would be on such a remote island. Why would she have?

“So I’ll have to travel to Leros for everything, including the birth.”

Clio nodded. “Yes.”

“How long does it take to get there?”

“Twenty minutes or so by ferry. I’ll let you know when your appointment is.”

Clio gave her a warm smile and left. Once Tally was sure Clio was out of earshot, she turned on her side and wept. She wanted kids, of course she did. Someday. But not like this. Not when she was alone, emotionally scarred, barely able to take care of herself day-to-day.

But this was Cash’s child.

She curled her hands around her belly. She couldn’t abort Cash’s child. A part of him and a part of her. A precious life to be protected at all costs. She’d manage, somehow.

God, she wished he were there.

On impulse, she picked up her phone. She found his number and hit Dial. Her heart hammered in her chest as the phone began ringing out. With absolutely no idea what to say, she waited for him to answer. And waited. After eight rings, the call went to voicemail.

“Hey, it’s Cash. Leave a message.”

Same voicemail he’d always used. Same voice that made her stomach clench with need. She hung up, her mind running riot. What was he doing? Visiting his mum perhaps, or having dinner with Rupe. Or in bed with another woman.

She winced. The thought of him with someone else… she closed her eyes, overwhelmed with the unexpected turn her life had taken. There’d been too much change in too short a time, and her brain was struggling to process everything. She was exhausted, scared, and lonely. She and Cash were supposed to be together, to raise a family together, to grow old together. She missed him with every cell in her body and missed the wider family she had to give up when he’d kicked her out.

Rachael, a perfect substitute for the mother she’d never had.

Rupe, the best brother anyone could ever wish for.

Anna, Brad, Jamie—the whole gang.

How could she have this baby alone? The thought of giving birth on a strange island, miles from home, horrified her. What if she went into labour at a time when there weren’t any ferries? She was sure ferries from Safome were only once per day to neighbouring islands. Oh God, she could end up giving birth without any medical assistance.

Her mouth flooded with saliva, and she made a dash for the bathroom. Once the retching stopped, she rinsed a flannel under cold water and dabbed her face. She squeezed some toothpaste onto her toothbrush and scrubbed her teeth to get rid of the gritty acid taste. She hated being sick, and maybe she’d be one of those pregnant women who wouldn’t suffer too badly.

Exhausted, she staggered back to the bedroom and collapsed into bed. She needed to get a grip. She was young and healthy and wouldn’t be the first single mother in the world. Okay, it wasn’t exactly the dream route to motherhood, but she’d have to play the hand she’d been dealt.

Tally lifted her head at a light tapping on the door. “Come in,” she said, pushing herself upright when Nerissa poked her head around the door.

“Hey, how are you doing?”

“I’m okay. Tired, but okay.”

Nerissa perched on the edge of her bed. “What did Clio say?”

Tally frowned. “She didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

Tally scrubbed her face. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.”

She could see Nerissa searching for the right thing to say. Taking pity on her friend, Tally squeezed her arm. “It’s okay. A bit of a shock, that’s all.”

“That’s why you’ve been so tired?”

“It seems so. Clio’s arranging for me to have a proper check-up on Leros.” She leaned over to the bedside cabinet and picked up the stick. “See for yourself.”

Nerissa took it from her and stared at the blue vertical lines. “Could be wrong.”

“Highly unlikely, according to Clio.”

“So how do you feel?”

“I don’t know. I need time to think.”

“But you’re keeping it, yes?”

Tally nodded, a small smile tweaking at her lips as Nerissa sighed in relief. “Good. Everything will be fine. We’ll all pitch in. That’s the beauty of this island. We’re like one big family.”

“I don’t know whether I’m going to stay now.”

Nerissa’s eyebrows shot up. “Whyever not?”

“I’m not sure. Another decision I need to make, but none of them need to be made today.”

“Have you told your ex?”

Tally sighed softly. “I called earlier, but it went to voicemail. And even if he had answered, I’m not sure I would have told him.”

“You need to tell him,” Nerissa stated firmly.

“And I will. But not yet. I have to get my head around this before I completely blow his mind. I don’t want him to think I’m trying to trap him into us getting back together. He made his feelings about me perfectly clear.”

“He has a right to know he’s going to be a daddy.”

Tally nodded without committing to anything. Now wasn’t the time to make rash decisions. She rested a weary hand on Nerissa’s arm. “I’m really tired. Do you mind going?”

“Not at all.” Nerissa rose from the bed, giving Tally a warm smile before disappearing.

As the bedroom door clicked shut, Tally closed her eyes. Nerissa’s feet echoed on the wooden staircase before silence fell. She should call Em, but she didn’t have the energy to face the type of questions and demands her best friend would have. Em and Pete could wait for another day. Better to find out for sure that she was pregnant before scaring those she loved. She was scared enough for all of them.

She must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, her phone was ringing. Barely conscious, she couldn’t work out whether it was a call or her alarm. With her eyes still shut, she reached out and located her phone. She squinted at the screen and sat bolt upright.

Cash was calling her.

The phone slipped through her fingers and landed in her lap. Snatching at it, she managed to answer before the call was diverted to voicemail.

“H-Hello,” she said tentatively.

“I got a missed call from this number. Who is this?”

Tally sucked in a breath. Hearing Cash’s voice after so long was like putting soothing lotion on a nasty burn. She closed her eyes as though that would somehow make it easier to speak.

“Don’t mind me, love. I’ve got all fucking day,” he said, forthright as ever.

“It’s Natalia.”

Her hands shook as she was met with a stony silence.

“Are you okay?” he finally said, although his tone held no warmth.

“Yes. I-I’m sorry for calling.”

“What do you want?”

Tally flinched at his bluntness. “To hear your voice,” she said, her vision blurring with unshed tears.

“There’s hundreds of videos on YouTube.”

A flash of pain shot through her chest. “This was a mistake.” She pulled her phone away from her ear.

“Wait! Don’t hang up. Are you still there?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“How are you?”

“Good. I’m good.”

“You changed your number.”

She closed her eyes. “Yes.”

“But you kept mine.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t live on false hope, Natalia.”

She fisted her hands into her pyjamas as another burst of pain shot through her. His coldness reaffirmed her decision not to tell him about the baby.

“It’s late. I’m going now.”

“Natalia?”

“Yes.”

A pause. “Take care of yourself.”