“I’ll be over next weekend,” Rachael said as Cash zipped up his suitcase.

Cash ignored her. He was having trouble holding his emotions in check, and the last thing he needed was to lose it in front of his mother.

He glanced around his bedroom, the one he’d shared with Natalia. So many memories. So much love. He bit his lip. He had to find the person he’d been before the accident. Would find the person he’d been. Dr Bauer had explained how it all worked. Brain injuries like his changed things forever, but the doctor had given him hope. He’d told him about cases where miracles had happened.

Cash was going to be one of those fucking miracles.

He startled when his mother laid a hand on his arm. “You’re doing the right thing.”

He scrubbed a tired hand over his face. “Yeah.”

“You are, Cash. I know you’re scared, but—”

“For Christ’s sake, stop fussing.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

He raked a hand through his hair, taking deep breaths as the doctor had told him to whenever he felt the horrible churning in his stomach—the one he was feeling at the moment. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“It’s okay,” Rachael said with a tentative smile.

He wanted to scream, No, it fucking isn’t, but he said nothing as he heaved his suitcase off the bed and started down the stairs.

Isaac was already waiting outside with the car. He rushed forward and tugged the bag from Cash’s clenched fingers. The rear door of the car was open, and Cash slipped inside, followed by his mother. He’d prefer she didn’t come to see him off, but he’d hurt her too much already, so he bit his tongue and let her have her way.

The trip to the airport only took twenty minutes, but the atmosphere in the car was thick and heavy, making the journey seem twice as long. Rachael made two attempts to speak, both of which Cash shot down with a glare. She spent the rest of the time fiddling with the strap on her handbag and staring out of the window.

He was a shit. A useless good-for-nothing shit of a son, lover, friend. Good job he was taking off for the next few months. They all needed a break from him. It was a shame he couldn’t get a break from himself.

The car pulled to a stop, and Cash quickly climbed out. And then he groaned. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Rupe gave him a goofy grin, the one that used to make him laugh. Now it got on his nerves. “To see you off.”

“I told you not to bother.”

“And I ignored you.”

Cash stepped up close, getting right in Rupe’s face. “Well, take a good look. Because you won’t be seeing my ugly fucking mug for a while.”

Rupe’s brow creased as his eyebrows shot in the air. “Is that right?”

“Yep. I don’t want you coming to see me in the loony bin. Or you,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at his mother.

“Cash…” she began.

Rupe held up his hand, stopping her. “Two things.” He stood up straight to give himself a little more height but was still an inch or so short of being able to stare Cash squarely in the eye. “One, it’s not a fucking loony bin, and if I hear you describe it like that once more, so help me, I’m going to kick you in the balls.” His cheeks coloured with frustration and annoyance. He reached behind Cash, clasped Rachael’s hand, and gently pulled her forward. “And two, I am your best friend, and this is your mother. We will be coming to see you whether you fucking like it or not.”

A sharp retort was on the tip of Cash’s tongue until he caught sight of his mother’s face. Her watery gaze signalled she was close to tears, and she kept pulling on the strap of that damned handbag. Cash turned his back and, for the second time that day, took a few deep breaths. He hated being like this.

“Fine,” he said, facing them once more. “But don’t expect me to be dancing on the fucking tables.”

Rupe gave a half laugh, half snort. “Thank Christ for that.”

Cash smiled then, his dark mood momentarily lifting. “You’re a bastard.”

“I know.”

Cash wrapped his arms around his mother. “Step one of a million,” he whispered.

Her head bobbed against his chest. “Step one,” she repeated. “But that means you’ve started the journey.” She moved back, her palms cupping his face. “I love you. You can yell, scream, shout, punch walls. None of it will ever change the fact that you’re my son, and I will always love you.”

Cash slowly blinked. “I’ll call you.” He walked towards the metal steps leading into the cabin of the plane. “Look after her,” he muttered in Rupe’s ear as he passed by.

Rupe nodded and clapped him on the back. Cash took off up the stairs and didn’t look back.