“Right, Peters, sounds good, I’ll see you then.” I couldn’t force any pleasantry into my tone however hard I tried. This was what I’ve asked for, it was definitely what I wanted, but still I couldn’t totally feel good about it. I knew why, of course, I wasn’t an idiot.

This was all about Hannah, which was stupid because she didn’t want me. She raced right back to Carson, and I could only assume that this was what she wanted.

Just because I couldn’t get her beautiful eyes out of my mind, just because I’ve spent every damn night since that awfulness at The Oasis dreaming about her, just because I wanted Hannah didn’t make us right. I’ve made the smart decision taking a step back from her then, and this was also the right thing to do.

“Okay, Jones, looking forward to having you back on my team. This office could use a bit of lightening up.”

“I just hope I can be of assistance.” I wasn’t sure good company was my forte at the moment, but there was no point in getting into that. Hopefully, as soon as I got into the swing of things I’d be able to shake off my mood like a bad smell. “My flight is in a bit, so I better get going. See you shortly.”

I stared at my reflection, wondering if I was ready for this. My face certainly looked the same, if I searched hard enough I could see the same face that had taken that sabbatical all those months ago, but at the same time everything had changed. Something had irrevocably shifted within me, and I wasn’t sure how to claw it back.

“Right,” I muttered at my slightly bemused reflection. “Time to get going...”

Knock, knock...

I flickered my eyes towards the door, wondering who that was going to be. I hadn’t had a single visitor since I’ve been home and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting one now. It had to be a cold caller, someone that I wasn’t in the mood for, and since I had a plane to catch soon I didn’t have time for it.

Maybe I could just ignore them, and whoever it was would disappear.

Knock, knock...

I remained as still as I could manage, trying my best to make the mystery person believe that no one was home. They’d probably knock once more, then be on their way. No one bothered to hang around for longer than three knocks, surely?

Knock, knock...

“Parker, are you in there?”

Oh my God, it was the one silky smooth voice that I couldn’t bear to hear. Just listening to her musical tone of voice, just knowing that she was out there drove me absolutely wild. I felt every single inch of my reaction. Goose bumps popped up and down my arm, the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention, large butterflies flapped in my stomach.

Could I leave now having not spoken to Hannah, or would I always wonder what she wanted? Would that put my whole ‘getting over her’ out of whack because I didn’t get my closure? Or was I just giving myself a whole ream of excuses to do what I already knew that I was going to do? My feet were already moving, my heart already racing, any second now I would be staring at her face once more and I had no idea how I was going to react.

I tugged hard on the door, far too hard, causing it to slam loudly against the wall. We both visibly jumped, but neither of us addressed that.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my eyes not quite meeting hers. This was already killing me, one second of eye contact would have me totally floored. “I’m just about to go, I have a flight...”

“So it’s true?” she gasped, shock and hurt lacing her tone. “Are you being deployed again?”

“I... well, there’s no point in me sticking around here now, is there?” I shrugged, doing my best to act blasé, but I got a distinct impression that I wasn’t pulling it off very well. “I might as well get back to my real career, since my job didn’t pan out.”

“Oh yeah, I heard the girl you were working with was a real bitch.”

I couldn’t stop the magnet from drawing my eyes towards her, I just needed to see if she was joking or not, and from the smirk playing on her beautiful plump lips, I could deduce that she was.

“She was a real nightmare,” I rolled my eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Honestly, I couldn’t get away from her quick enough.”

Did she have to be so gorgeous? Did her eyes have to be so soulful and pretty? Did her body have to draw me in so powerfully? Everything I said before still stood, there was no way in hell that Hannah and I could make it work, but the rational side of my brain was slowly shutting down and the part driven by desire was turned right up.

“That’s a shame,” she slid a little closer to me, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. “Because I heard that she liked you a lot.”

I couldn’t play along with the game anymore, the role play was far too much. I needed answers, and if I was going to get them before I had to catch my flight then I would have to simply take the bull by the horns and be direct. “What’s going on, Hannah? Why are you here?”

“I wanted to speak to you, I couldn’t let you go before we talked.”

“What about Carson?” There was a definite bitterness in my voice box, spilling out with every single word. “I know you’re still with him.”

“You do? Did my father say something to you?”

I rubbed my forehead hard, trying to rid my brain of the ache that had suddenly developed there. I suspected that she was still with him, but to hear Hannah confirm that cut far too deep. She should’ve just left me alone, I was okay, I was in a good position. Now I was jumbled up all over again. “No, I saw you. I wanted to speak to you in The Oasis parking lot after... after I left.” Of course, I couldn’t forget that this was my fault too. It was me that’d walked away. “And I saw you with him.”

“I didn’t want to be!” she burst out as her eyes welled with what appeared to be frustrated tears. “I wanted you to kiss me, I wanted to work my life around you, but you told me that we couldn’t make it work. Maybe it’s pathetic, but I didn’t want to be alone, so yes I did fall back into Carson’s arms, but he’s gone now. Even if you don’t want me, I can’t be with him either.”

“You think I don’t want you?” I chuckled mirthlessly. “You’re everything I want and so much more. I just know that our differences will wreck everything.”

“Why are you so closed-minded?” Hannah yelled, probably irritating every single one of my neighbors in my apartment block. Still, they got most of the year without me around at all. One little disturbance wouldn’t matter. “Why can’t you see past your prejudices? I know that we’re different, but why does that matter? You might deny it to yourself, but there is something there between us. I can feel it, and I know you can too.”

“It doesn’t... make any difference...” I argued weakly, the reasons falling apart on my lips. Was Hannah right? Were all the issues invented in my brain as an excuse? It was possible, maybe I was trying to shut this down before Hannah got too close so I could continue along the loner path that had gotten me to where I was today.

Nowhere.

“What will convince you to give me a shot?” exasperation oozed out of her every pore. “You want to know how I really feel? You want me to expose myself to you? Fine. I broke up with Carson because you made me see that I was worth more. In the last year and a half, I have let everything important to me fall away. I lost my writing career, I gave up on myself and my happiness, I fell into a bad crowd to forget. Carson was just an extension of that. Maybe that was why I was so unhappy with Dad hiring you, I didn’t want anyone to examine my behavior, but you made me see what I need. You made me feel worthy.”

Her words were getting to me, everything inside of me was swirling and churning, I just didn’t know what to say.

“Okay fine, you want me to spell it out? I’m in love with you.”

I inhaled sharply, emotions swallowing me whole. Hannah has just spoken the words that had the potential to change everything. I was supposed to be headed back to work, but if Hannah loved me then how could I? It wasn’t feasible for me to just stay, to be with her, but also I desperately wanted to.

“Well, are you just going to leave me hanging?”

Her face was vulnerable, her body language was exposed, I needed to give her an answer, but this wasn’t simple. Yes, I loved her too, maybe I didn’t fully recognize that until she expressed her feelings to me, but I definitely did. I loved her, I wanted to be with her, but was it smart?

Oh fuck it, I stepped forward and lightly brushed my fingers along her hips, sparks flying everywhere. If the last few weeks had taught me anything it was that life was short and opportunities rare. Maybe it was going to be complicated, but if Hannah was the one for me then we would find a way to work things out.

So I yanked her towards me and crashed my lips against hers, finally getting the kiss that had been building up for ages, and my God... it felt amazing.