I hated doing this, I knew that it was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I was certain that I would look back on this day with regret forever, but it was the right thing for both of us. It hurt like hell right now, but soon we would both see that this was for the best. It was incredibly challenging to stick to my guns with those gorgeous eyes pleading with me, but one of us had to remain strong.

Plus, there was small chance that everything she was saying to me right now was alcohol induced. The last thing I wanted to do was delve into something physical, just to have Hannah regretting us taking things over the edge in the morning.

Realistically, Hannah and I could never be a ‘forever’ deal, much as I would love that to happen it just wasn’t possible. Everything I’ve said was the truth and eventually our differences would tear us apart. People from different backgrounds could never make it work, and we were a classic case of that. Not only were we from opposite ends of the scale, we both had too many issues. I was closed off, because of my time in the war, and Hannah was an emotional wreck. Together, that was a terrible combination, one that I needed to put an end to before it got too complicated.

“I’m sorry,” I told her sadly. “This is just the way it has to be.”

I moved backward, slowly taking myself away from Hannah before I retracted everything and grabbed her for a kiss. She was utterly irresistible, all I wanted to do was make her mine, but life was making that utterly impossible. It was such a shame, but a mini-heartbreak now would be so much better than the catastrophic one that would come later on.

“No,” she whispered, just as I turned my back on her. “Parker, no. Please, don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.”

It was so challenging, but I made myself go. I forced my feet to keep on going despite the fact that they were screaming at me. Left, right, left, right... once I got away everything would be okay. I would be able to breathe again. I was holding my breath so hard that my lungs were fit to burst, but any minute now I’d be able to let all of that out...

Just to confirm I was doing this, I tugged my phone out of my pocket and instantly dialed Joe’s number. Once I told him I was out, everything was done for good. I needed this break to be clean, and this was the only way.

Ring, ring... Ring, ring...

“Hello?” I could instantly tell that Joe was harassed which made me feel bad. He was probably right in the middle of an important meeting. “Parker, is everything alright?”

No, I’m falling in love with your daughter, but I can’t be with her! “Erm, yeah...” I said instead. “Well no, actually. I’ve just had a call from my boss and they need me back soon. I have to be deployed again.”

“Oh no, I thought you had a year sabbatical?”

Urgh, I probably shouldn’t have started out with this lie. Thinking on my feet wasn’t good enough if I couldn’t answer any follow-up questions. “Right, I know but... something has come up.” Oh God, was that the best that I could come up with?“ Something classified.” At least no one could ever question ‘classified’.

“Oh right... yes, that’s fine.” I rolled my eyes as he started talking to someone else. Business consumed so much of his life, it was easy to see how frustrated Hannah got. Joe Ricks might have been an extremely successful man, but his attention spun for the rest of his life was far too low... especially when he had a daughter that was suffering. “Erm okay, well... does Hannah know?”

“Yeah, she’s aware.” My eyes fell shut as I recalled her heartbroken face. How could I have caused that? What the hell was wrong with me? Righteously or not, it felt incredibly shitty to do. Righteously or not, I was as much of an asshole as Carson.

“Okay good, well thanks for sticking around. Hannah appreciated it.” He had absolutely no clue about anything going on in his daughter’s life, I doubted he’s even spoken to her once about me. “And erm... I’ll send you your check in the mail.”

“Right, thanks. And thank you for the opportunity.”

It took me a moment to recognize that he had already hung up on me. He hired me in a flurry, desperate to have someone deal with his family issues, and he wasn’t even bothered that I was now abandoning Hannah. It hurt me, and I wasn’t the one who was related to him, so this sort of behavior had to absolutely kill Hannah. It was no wonder she hadn’t managed to recover from losing her mom.

Without even thinking about it, I spun on my heels and turned back to where Hannah would still hopefully be waiting for me in the parking lot. Maybe we couldn’t be together, but I could comfort her in her very difficult time. I could at least be her friend...

But as I reached the outskirts of The Oasis, my heart fell out of my chest completely. Hannah was still there, but she was no longer alone. She was sobbing into Carson’s chest. She didn’t need me, she had him. She was now acutely aware what he was like, and she’d still fallen back into his arms. If cheating wasn’t enough to tear her away from the man who could never be right for her, then there wasn’t anything I could do.

I assumed that there was more to Hannah, I thought she wanted more out of life than just the lifestyle, but it seemed that I was very wrong.

Well, if she wanted to be with Carson, if she wanted to live that life, that was up to her. I’ve tried to show her the truth, and it hadn’t been enough. It was just a good job that I hadn’t allowed our little moment to turn into a kiss. She definitely would’ve regretted it, then I would’ve had to watch her run back to Carson after being with me.

No, now I just needed to get out before I died even more inside. I had to make an escape, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that going back to the army wasn’t the worst idea after all. There was no point in taking a sabbatical if it was making me feel like shit. This wouldn’t be a holiday anymore, I would wallow in misery. If that was the case then I’d be much better off throwing myself into work.

Ring, ring... Ring, ring...

My heart pounded while I waited for an answer. This felt like a crazy option, but also the only one I had.

“Hello? Parker, what’s going on?”

Luckily, Sergeant Peters was my best friend. I knew he’d be understanding even if no one else was. Sure he wasn’t too happy with his life at the moment, he hated being stuck behind a desk ever since his accident on the battlefield, but I was sure that he’d have enough compassion left for me. He’d snap me back up in a heartbeat... or so I hoped.

“Hey, Hank, I need a favor.” My tone was grave, the sadness spilling past my lips with every single word.

“You do? Why what’s going on? I thought you were on a sabbatical?”

“I want to come back,” I admitted, completely defeated. “Is that cool? I don’t mind what I do, even if I need to work in the office with you for a bit.”

“Oh my God, Jones, I never had you pegged for a workaholic. I thought you were looking forward to a break.”

“Well, I was, but things have taken a bit of a turn. I just want to be back where I know where I stand.”

“Women trouble?” To be fair, it wasn’t that hard a code to crack, but even as he said those words all I could think about was Hannah back in Carson’s arms. That filled me with anger and upsetness in equal measures. All I wanted was for her to see that she was worth more... but she wasn’t my issue anymore.”

“Something like that. I’ll talk to you about it when I see you. So what do you think? Can you help me out?”

“You know I can sort it for you, but it’ll be the last vacation you can have for a while,” he warned me. “You know that, right?”

“That’s fine.” The last thing I needed was another vacation, throwing myself into my work was the best thing I could do, it would provide the distraction I so desperately needed. “I’m on my way home but I’ll give you a call when I get there to sort out the finer details.”

“Speak to you soon!”

I expected relief to flood through me as my escape route was planned, but it didn’t. All I was left with was a hollow, never ending pit of sadness, one that I needed to squash.