Urgh, what an asshole! I hated this guy. I had no idea who he thought he was, but everything about him was totally unnecessary. Just because my dad hired him, didn’t make it right that he was there. Why couldn’t he just be like a normal person and slack off on his duties? I didn’t need to be downstairs to hear him pacing the kitchen, this house was so loud and echoey that I could hear everything. Why wouldn’t he just go?

Ring, ring... Ring, ring... Ring, ring...

“Fuck!” I screamed as I tossed my cell phone onto my bed. Much as I adored Carson, he had a tendency of being unreliable. Every time I needed him, he vanished into thin air. Of course I had to understand, he was a very important man with a lot going on in his life and that was what I liked about him... even if it did drive me mad from time to time. “Fucking hell.” I threw myself back onto the bed, clapping my hands over my eyes.

Hot blood boiled around my body, my temper was burning from the top of my head to my little toes. How dare my dad do this to me, why couldn’t he just spend some God damn time with me instead? Ever since I lost Mom he had thrown himself into his work, and that was the end of it. He didn’t even notice me slowly changing, becoming a totally different version of myself.

Before I lost Mom, when I still had my best friend around, I was quieter, sweeter, I had goals and ambitions that I was working very hard towards. I wanted to be a writer, and I was taking classes to help me with that. Maybe I didn’t work too hard when I was in school because I had other things on my mind back then - namely boys - but ever since I decided that this was my path in life, I’ve been working towards it.

But then the accident happened and everything has changed. I lost myself, I lost my drive, I became a party animal like no tomorrow. I reconnected with my wilder friends, and they’ve helped me to get through that rough time. Maybe I’m not so keen on that lifestyle anymore, hence the massive blowout last night, but I don’t know how to get out of it anymore, I’m not sure what else there is for me.

And no guardian was going to help with that.

Since Carson wasn’t answering his phone, and I really wasn’t in the mood for Bunny or any of the other girls, I forced myself to stomp back downstairs. Hiding away was making Parker’s job too easy, if he didn’t even have to deal with me then there was no way he would go. I didn’t want anyone around restricting my life, so the only thing I could do was to force him out. I didn’t know what jobs he’s done before, but I was about to make this the most challenging time of his whole damn life.

“Oh good, you’re back.” He shot me a massive grin as if he desperately wanted to wind me up. My ears buzzed with frustration and my heart pounded even louder, I didn’t want him to play me too, that was going to turn this into a standoff like no other. I was strong enough to take him down, I felt confident in that, but still I just wanted this done already. “Can you show me where you keep the biscuits? I’m dying for something to dip into my tea.”

“You drink tea?” I sneered nastily. “What are you, English?”

“American people are allowed to enjoy tea as well, and yeah sometimes I like a change.”

I narrowed my eyes and glared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what my next move should be. In the end, I slowly slid my body towards the cupboard to grab a packet for him, without moving my gaze off him the entire time.

“You know, you might want to watch it with the junk food. You don’t want to end up getting fat.” I wasn’t even sure what made me say that, I just wanted to say something a little nasty. I guess I was trying my best to figure out the best way to get under his skin. Maybe his looks would be the best way to irritate him.

“Oh, I’m not too worried about that.” He stood up slowly, and whipped off his t-shirt in a spit second causing my breath to catch in my throat. “I think my body’s looking pretty good, don’t you?”

“I... I...” there were so many things that I wanted to say, some of them bad continuing on my path of being a bitch, but a lot of them were amazing. That body was God like, I couldn’t even make any kind of joke about it in my mind. His muscles were so sculpted, they looked like something straight off the pages of a magazine, his abs were unbelievable. He even had one of those amazing V’s that worked down into his underwear.

Not that I was thinking about his underwear!

“Yeah, I think I look alright for the moment. The army trains you to be the strongest person you can be.”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, desperately hunting through my mind to find the perfect response, but there was absolutely nothing. All I wanted to ask was about his time in the armed forces, but I couldn’t even seem to make that happen.

Ring, ring...

Oh, thank God!

“I have to take this.” As I tugged my phone out of my pocket, and I stared at my boyfriend’s name on the screen, I felt a disconnect with the man I was in love with. I wasn’t sure why, but having Parker standing there half naked in front of me was almost too much to take.

“Aren’t you going to answer?”

I turned to face Parker, noticing that he still had his top off and that smile was still playing on his lips. My face flamed, my whole body tingled, I felt all weird inside.

I needed to answer, speaking to Carson was the only thing that would bring me back to normality.

“Hey babe,” I tried to make my words sound as breezy as possible, but even I could detect the tremble. “How’s it going, what are you up to?”

“Yeah, just hanging out with the guys.” My heart sunk, I hated ‘the guys’. They were all men just like my father, guys who hated me. Maybe they wouldn’t if they knew who I was beforehand, but since I’ve only been with Carson for just over six months, the only version they knew of me was the party girl. “What about you?”

“Urgh, I have so much to tell you.” I slammed the kitchen door behind me, blocking out any images of Parker from my mind before I can think too much about him. “Can I come over?”

“Well you can but I have a game...”

“I’ll see you in a bit.” I clicked the phone off before Carson could put me off coming. I needed him, and maybe he was unreliable in some ways but once I explained my predicament I was sure he’d help me out. He would get rid of Parker soon enough.

I was just about to call out to Parker, to let him know that I was going, before my clamping mouth closed once more. He was being paid to follow me around, the last thing I wanted was for him to come with me right now. I needed to sneak out quickly, which wasn’t going to be easy considering how loud this house was.

I tiptoed carefully, moving doors as silently as I could manage, the whole time feeling like a naughty child. This was mental, but kind of exciting too. Adrenaline was pumping right through me, driving me forward. Then I wrapped my fingers tightly around my keys, and I jumped through the front door with a real sense of achievement. Luckily my car was parked near the gate, so while Parker would probably hear my car engine I’d be long gone by the time he could find me.

One of the best things about my car was the awesome speeds it could go...

“Carson?” I panted excitedly as I crashed through his front door. “Carson, where are you?”

“In here.”

I followed the sound of his voice, making my way down the twisting hallways. My home was big, but I never felt lost in it. Something about Carson’s felt like a maze, almost as if it was designed to confuse and disorientate any visitors.

“Oh...” my words trailed off as I spotted the massive round table of men, all of them clutching onto cards, all of them smoking cigars and drinking Brandy, all of them with the same pissed off expression on their faces.

I assumed a game meant football, I thought they’d be watching the television, I didn’t realize I’d be interrupting poker. That was girlfriend crime number one.

“Oh I’m sorry, I just...” I indicated behind me and started walking away, an awkward sensation consuming me.

“Hey wait!” As Carson caught up with me, my heart lifted happily. Yes, I was walking at a snail’s pace because I expected him to come after me, but it still felt good to have him follow through on that. I guess all I wanted was to feel special to someone, to feel like my emotions were important. “Are you okay, you don’t look very happy?”

I jumped into his arms and held him close to him, inhaling his citrusy scent – the smell that had become very familiar to me in the last few months. “I’m having a horrible time,” I mumbled into his chest. “I could really use your help.”

“Okay,” he pulled back to look into my eyes. “Why don’t you go upstairs to wait for me in the bedroom? I’ll finish this game and be up there soon, you have the television until then. You can tell me all about it in a minute.”

“Yeah, okay.” I’ve heard that empty promise enough times to know that it wasn’t true. I was acutely aware that I’d be up there watching films on my own until the very early hours of the morning. Still, what could I do? He wasn’t about to change, he wouldn’t ever throw his friends out for me. Maybe it was unreasonable to expect him to do so. “I’ll see you in a while.”

I trudged my heavy body up the stairs, wondering if I’ve made the right move by coming here. Then again, would I be better off at home with Parker? My game of playing was not working in the way that I wanted it to. It was quite embarrassing to be silenced by the image of a man’s chest, even if it was an impressive one.

If I was going to win this, I would have to throw all images of his body right out of my brain. I would just have to forget that he looked amazing, and focus on his horrible personality instead. That wouldn’t be too difficult now, would it?