Natalie
I throw my dad’s Honda Accord into park and cut the engine. Butterflies swarm my belly, giving me a nauseous feeling. On the way over, I rehearsed everything I wanted to say. I had the whole spiel worked out in my head. But now, as I sit in front of Brody’s house, I can’t remember a single word.
I’m concerned that he won’t give me the chance to explain myself. And I can’t really blame him for that. Even now, two days later, the look of pain that flashed across his face when I told him that I didn’t have the same kind of feelings for him leaves me cringing.
Coming here feels like a huge risk.
A mistake.
But…
I can’t not tell Brody how I feel. I can’t let him think that I don’t care about him, because I do. So much that it hurts my heart.
I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and suck in a deep breath before expelling it slowly.
Okay. I can do this. I can—
Knuckles rap loudly on the driver’s side window.
My eyes fly open, and I stifle the rising scream in my throat. I raise my hand and press it against my chest. My gaze locks on the guy standing next to the car. His brows pull together as he contemplates me.
“Natalie? What are you doing here?” he asks.
I gulp and roll down the window. “Hi.” I’m so nervous, I can barely speak. “I came to talk with Brody.”
Luke straightens to his full height and folds his arms across his chest. Something in his eyes hardens. Luke and I have always been friendly. But right now, he’s eyeing me like I’m a bug splattered across his windshield. I get the feeling that if it were in his nature, he’d tell me to go fuck myself.
“That’s not really a good idea,” he says.
“Why?” Already I feel like I’m going to come out of my skin. His words only ratchet up my misery.
“Because Brody has a lot going on right now.” The disgust filling his voice is palpable. It makes me wince. “He doesn’t need you messing with his head. You’ve already done a good job of that.”
My mouth tumbles open. Guilt and anguish rush through my veins. I protest weakly, “I didn’t—”
“Yeah, you did,” he cuts me off coldly. “Whether you realize it or not. You did.”
I gulp and try to explain with, “But—”
Unwilling to listen to anything I have to say, he shakes his head and takes a step away from the vehicle. “Brody’s in Milwaukee, checking out housing for next year. He won’t be back until Sunday night. The best thing you can do for him is leave him alone and move on.”
Everything within me collapses.
I thought the worst possible scenario was sharing my feelings with Brody and then having him tell me to go to hell. But this…not being able to put my feelings out there at all, is so much worse. He needs to know that our relationship wasn’t one-sided like I led him to believe.
Forgetting about Luke, I lay my head against the steering wheel and stifle the tears that burn my eyes.
What am I going to do?
What I have to tell him needs to be said in person, not over the phone.
“Natalie?”
My head lolls to the side until I’m able to meet Luke’s eyes. His fingers now rest on the doorframe, and his concerned face fills the window.
“I need to talk to him.” A sob rises in my throat. “I need to explain what happened.”
“He really liked you,” Luke says begrudgingly. “I’ve never seen Brody so into a girl. And you…” he trails off.
I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as if that will block out the pain. It doesn’t work. I’m all but steeped in it. “I know,” I whisper. “I know what I did. I never meant to cause him any pain.”
“But you did,” he says.
There’s no arguing with that comment. “I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him go.”
Curiosity fills Luke’s voice. “Do you still feel like it was the right thing to do?”
“No.”
“You’re one of the few people Brody has opened up to and shared his life with. I hope you realize that.” Another dagger slices through my heart. Luke and Zara make the perfect pair. Neither one of them hold back any punches.
“Of course, I do.” As if I didn’t already feel like shit, his unvarnished words only make me feel worse.
Luke sighs and straightens. “Brody and his dad are staying at The Park Hotel in Milwaukee.”
When I stare, he shrugs and arches a brow. “Now you know where he is. I guess the next move is yours to make, isn’t it?”
Lifting my head, I nod and start up the engine.