CHAPTER SIX
Havoc
I’m a glutton for punishment. I think I’ve said those words before, but they’ve never been truer as I sit here tucked into a booth with Leighton’s body pressed so far up against me that I’ve had to turn sideways and wrap my arm around her shoulders. These booths were obviously not made for grown men and women. She’s sharing my hamburger and fries with me, so I can’t complain.
“How’s Stella doing?” she asks Renegade, unknowingly opening up a can of worms the rest of us had effectively closed shut earlier in the day.
“Aww hell.” Ace throws his burger down on his plate. A look of resigned disgust on his face. “Here we go again.”
Ryan beams as he looks at Leighton, already moving so that he can stuff his hand into his pocket, to grab his cell phone. “She got pictures made the other day, wanna see?”
“Say no, for the love of God, say no,” I tell her, holding her closer to me. “You’re gonna go down a rabbit hole of the cutest pictures of a toddler you’ve ever seen in your life, and you’re gonna find yourself talking about how cute the pink ribbon is in her hair, the small pearls are around her neck, and then you’re gonna hand over your man card because you’re noticing all this shit. So do yourself a favor and just don’t look.”
She grabs the phone from Ryan. “I don’t have a man card, so I can look all I want.” She winks at me, and fuck if I’m not floored.
I take a drink of my Coke, swallowing it slowly as I watch her start to scroll through the pictures. “I guess you don’t have a man card,” I speak softly in her ear, making sure only we can hear what’s being said between us. “You’re all woman to me.”
Her finger stops scrolling, before she glances up at me with big eyes. “Sometimes I don’t think you notice.”
“Trust me, I definitely notice.”
The blush I see covering her cheeks is payment enough for the praise I’ve given her. Knowing that I’m the person who made her blush? Priceless to me. I would do it every day if I could.
“Oh my God!” she squeals as she sees a picture of Stella that she obviously likes on the phone. “She was wearing this shirt in here the other day.”
Renegade leans over the table, grinning when he sees his daughter wearing a shirt that says I wear bows and daddy wears a badge. “Tank got her that one; it’s probably my favorite so far.”
“Wait.” I hold my hand out to stop the conversation, trying not to laugh. “Tank bought that shirt for her?”
Renegade raises a brow. “There’s not much you don’t give the little girl that’s the center of your universe. And lucky for Stella, she’s the center of a lot of universes. You just wait.” He takes a bit of his hamburger. “It’ll happen to you, too.”
Leighton and I share a look. Not many people really know what’s going on between us, because we want to make it seem as real as possible. The less our marriage is questioned; the better off it is for the both of us. “We’ll see,” she shrugs, flashing him a smile. She takes a drink of her Coke before she hands Renegade his phone back.
“I watched her the other day, actually.”
“Stella?” he asks, all ears when it comes to talk about his daughter.
“Yeah.” She scoots closer into my body, and even though I’m still damp and should be cold, I feel a warmth where we touch. “Mona was supposed to meet Whitney here, but it was the day that grain truck overturned out at the Bottoms, and obviously she didn’t trust going through there.”
I notice that Leighton stops. “Nobody blames you for what happened with Trevor,” I remind her.
“I know, but it doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes blame myself.” She sets down her fry and puts a smile on her face. “Anyway, your soon-to-be-mother-in-law couldn’t make it, and I was about to take a break, so I watched her for Whitney. We went to the park down the street. She’s definitely got the walking thing down.”
“Yeah,” Renegade agrees. “Now it’s just trying to get her to feed herself. She’s trying, but it’s messy. We weren’t going to push it, but she likes being independent.”
“Wonder where she gets that from?” Ace finally speaks from where he sits.
“Definitely her mother.” Renegade throws us all a bashful grin. “Thanks for helping Whit out. Her and Addie are gonna have to hire someone soon. The two of them are basically dying with the amount of planning they’ve got going on.”
“Didn’t they take on Blaze’s parent’s big shindig for St. Patrick’s Day?” I offer Leighton the last bite of my burger. When she doesn’t take it, I shrug and scarf it down in one swallow.
“Against everyone’s better judgement. I’m telling you, her parents would turn a saint into a sinner. Like I didn’t realize how many dirty words my woman knew until she came home from meeting with Olivia Prescott Coleman, with two t’s.”
Beside me, Leighton giggles. “It cracks me up how everyone in this group makes that distinction every time they say her name.”
“Have you met her?” Ace levels her with his gaze.
“No,” she shakes her head as she answers. “Somehow I’ve been able to avoid it.”
“We have.” He points to all the guys. “And the way she looks at us like we’re strippers about to give her a lap dance really pisses me off. If I’m gonna give somebody a lap dance while in uniform, she needs to at least be able to make some sort of expression. Her mom’s had so much goddamn Botox, she can’t even frown. That’s not sexy to me. Show me your feelings, if you can’t, you might as well be a blow-up doll.”
I run my thumb along Leighton’s jawbone, while I formulate my plan. I love to make Ace annoyed, love to see his ass get riled up. “Blow-up doll, huh? You have a lot of experience with those?”
“As much as you do, asshole.” He throws his wadded up napkin in my direction.
“That’s Sir Asshole to you, since I’m your superior.” I live for this shit.
“Do you make her call you Sir?” He points at Leighton, and I feel a possessiveness clamp down on my body, a ribbon of tension that chaps my ass since he’s just playing around and I know it. To be honest, though, it seems disrespectful to me, and I don’t handle disrespect well when it comes to her.
“What my wife calls me is none of your business.”
Judging by the way he leans away from the table in reaction to the tone of my voice, I think he knows he crossed a line. There aren’t many times I have to get stern with my guys; they tend to know what sets me off and what doesn’t. But this…it’s a whole new ballgame, because Leighton’s an unknown. Even after being married to her for the past six months, I’m still unsure how deep our feelings go, how deep they can go based on the factors as to why we got married. Hell, the guys have no idea I’m not getting any. For all intents and purposes, they think this marriage is legit.
My conscience says isn’t it? You treat her, for the most part, like she’s your wife. You protect her, you provide for her, and you do your best to make her life easier. The only things you don’t have are the physical and emotional aspects of a real relationship.
“Sorry,” Ace is saying. “Didn’t mean to piss you off or disrespect Leighton. It was just a joke, man, but I can see where it wasn’t appropriate.” He pushes back from the table. “I’m gonna go see what pie is up there for dessert today.”
“Dessert sounds damn good to me, too.” Renegade makes off like his boots are on fire.
“Well that’s one way to get them out of here.” She turns to face me, her dark eyes glancing up at mine. “He was just joking.”
“I know.” I’m slightly uncomfortable at her perusal. “I just don’t like when people joke about you. What we have may not be traditional and even to us it’s weird sometimes, but it’s ours.”
Her eyes flash as I say the words it’s ours, and I think maybe I’ve done something good in this moment. Maybe for once I’ve said the right thing, done the right thing, when usually I’m winging it and failing miserably.
“You’re right,” she says as she grabs hold of my hand, tracing my wedding ring with her finger. “Whatever this crazy situation we have going on with each other is, no matter what, it’s ours and we don’t have to explain ourselves to anyone.”
“Nope, we don’t.”
The moment seems heavier than it should, and I wonder what’s happened here in the span of ten minutes. Leighton’s looking at me like I hung the moon, and I’m not comfortable with the adoration in her eyes. I’m not that type of guy, I don’t do things for adoration, I do them because they’re practical, or it’s imperative to keep my family safe. I don’t want her hero worship; I’ve done too many awful things in my life to deserve it.
“I guess I should get back to work,” she licks her lips, obviously unsure of where we stand. These moments are getting more and more prevalent. At some point we’ll need to make a decision, but today won’t be that day.
“I’ll see you at the house?” I lean down, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips, when really what I want to do is devour her the way I did last night.
“I’ll be there, with bells on.” She relaxes against me, somewhat back to her old self. “Picking out a much better movie than you did last night. I won’t have nightmares, or have to hide my eyes.”
I tap her on the thigh, signaling for her to move so that I can get out of the booth, and when she does, I sit at the end, opening my legs, and bringing her between them. With a murmur of surprise, she twines her arms around my neck and settles where I want her to, bringing us together so that our foreheads touch. Her hair falls in a curtain around us, effectively shutting everyone else out from our conversation.
“If what you’ve been having is nightmares, moaning and thrashing the way you do, I want to have a damn nightmare every night,” I tell her, feeling a little brazen. “Maybe next time you have a nightmare I’ll be sure and wake you up from it, and we’ll see just how scared you really are.” I move my hands down to her waist, pulling her even closer. “Both of us know you aren’t waking up gasping because you’re scared, baby. You’re waking up because you’re dripping wet and coming.”
She’s closed her eyes, and her mouth is hanging open. I give her ass a tap before I move her back from me, and yell to Renegade, telling him to come on.
“See ya at home,” I give her a wink as me and the boys leave. A huge grin’s on my face the rest of the day, because now I know I’ve given her something to think about.