Chapter 17
After a recommendation from Brady, Kenley sat in Dr. Fulmer’s office as the doctor read the police report out loud.
“So that is officially what happened. Those are the facts,” the woman said as she crossed her arms on her lap.
“Okay,” Kenley said. She was there. She knew what had happened.
“Was anything missing?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. The police were pretty thorough with their questions.”
“And your subconscious is taking the facts and twisting them into something horrible.”
Kenley nodded. That was an adequate description. Over the last two weeks she’d been having more bad dreams. The anxiety of being alone in the office was getting worse too. Zane was doing a good job of having excuses to stay in the office, but he still needed to take Weston’s boat up to Boston.
“When you’re awake, do you seem fixated on what could have happened if Brady hadn’t come in?”
“I try not to think about it. If I start thinking about all the potential risks of going anywhere alone, I’m afraid I’ll become a prisoner in my apartment.” She swallowed. “But it does pop into my head when I’m not concentrating on other things.” And it had kept her from going to the city to meet up with Alyssa last weekend. She’d come up with a last-minute excuse and gone home.
“If you don’t deal with it, it could sneak up on you at any time. You could become a prisoner in your own head.”
“I feel very fortunate nothing happened. I just want to focus on that.”
“Nothing happened?” Dr. Fulmer repeated her words while holding up the three-page report. “This happened. It’s real. It was bad. Yes, it could have been worse, but don’t downplay what took place.”
Kenley swallowed and nodded again. Why couldn’t everyone just let it go? Why couldn’t she? She hadn’t been shot or hurt in any way. So he’d grabbed her arm. So he’d shouted at her with his nasty breath fanning across her face. That happened a million times to people in the subway.
“I’m going to read the report again so you know what happened. They are facts and they are in the past. Do you understand?”
Kenley nodded and listened to the words this time instead of trying to block them out.
When she was done she passed the papers to Kenley.
“You’re going to be called to testify on these facts. While you’re in the courtroom you are going to hear this again. I want you to be prepared and comfortable with the facts so you don’t break down on the stand. Can you read them out loud to me?”
She stumbled on the words armed robbery all three times they came up. Apparently the doctor noticed.
“You were robbed at gunpoint.”
“But I wasn’t hurt—”
“It’s true you weren’t shot, but the fear of the possibility brings out the same feelings of helplessness and loss of control.”
Kenley nodded in understanding. She had felt helpless and out of control. That was the part that still haunted her even when Zane was close by.
She took the papers home and read them out loud twice a day, per the doctor’s orders.
By the third appointment Kenley was able to read through the report and admit that she had been threatened at gunpoint without making other excuses or trying to brush it off. It was progress.
She was healing. Maybe someday soon she would even be fine.
* * *
Zane was following Kenley’s lead as far as her recovery was concerned. And it was a recovery. The night she’d pulled out the tattered police report and read it to him out loud had nearly killed him. But he’d listened and held her close afterward, feeling as if she’d made some giant step forward.
Inside he’d raged for the chance to hurt the man who had terrified her this badly. If he’d actually pulled the trigger, Zane would have ended him and not cared about the repercussions.
Fortunately that hadn’t happened.
He felt relief wash over him at the sound of her giggle when he picked her up to set her on his desk. They’d been working, but when they got to the bottom of the pile, he’d pushed his laptop and a few other things out of the way to make room. A few papers scattered and fell to the floor as he reached for the button on her blouse.
He couldn’t resist pulling her close and kicking the door shut for a little fun. He paused, worried about their venue. Just down the hall she’d been threatened. Would the memories intrude on this moment?
She laughed and wiggled closer. The sweet sound pushed his concerns away. That first night she’d wanted him to touch her. To make new memories. This would be a new memory. A very nice memory.
“What’s so funny?” he asked when she giggled again.
“I was just remembering how I was fired from my last job because my boss thought I had sex with her husband, and now here I am having sex with my boss on his desk.”
“I’m not your boss right now. It wouldn’t be right.” He pulled her nipple into his mouth and let go with a pop.
“What are you then?” He noted the challenge in the question. As if he’d be too big a coward to confess his feelings.
He shrugged. With anyone else this question might have freaked him out, but this was Kenley. It was so easy to give her an answer.
“Your boyfriend. Or if you need an official title, may I suggest ‘The Guy Who Makes My Knees Weak’?” She giggled again until he ran his thumb over her erect nipples. The giggle was abruptly cut off by a gasp.
“Wow. You’re right. My knees are weak.”
He bent to take another swipe when the phone rang.
“Crap. I have to get that,” she said as she stopped working on the button on his jeans to reach for the phone.
“No. Don’t touch it.”
“But it’s my job to answer the phone.”
“Not right now it isn’t.” He couldn’t wait out any long-winded customer. They would have to call back. He unzipped his pants and tugged them down along with his boxers. He loved that Kenley was on The Pill. It made having sex anywhere a lot easier.
He kissed up her neck while he worked the zipper on her jeans. He was just about ready to slide them over her beautiful ass when they heard someone come in the back door.
“I didn’t lock the door. Shit!” he cursed and pulled his pants back up as Kenley hopped off the desk. She had just finished buttoning her shirt when Sidney opened the door, carrying a bundle of blankets. A murmur from the bundle indicated his niece was inside.
“Why the hell didn’t you answer the phone if you were here?” Sidney snapped. “I have the tax forms you asked about. It would have been easier for you to walk out to my car instead of making me get Paige out of the car and—” Sidney stopped and concentrated on them.
Kenley’s cheeks were bright red and he wasn’t able to look his sister in the eye. Not good.
“Oh my God! Were the two of you…?” She laughed loud enough to cause a disgruntled sound from Paige. “Wow. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll just set these…” She glanced at his desk which was still in disarray, then looked behind her at the guest chair. “Here looks good. I guess I’ll let you get back to work.”
Zane let out a sigh, knowing he wouldn’t be able to avoid the misery his sister was sure to inflict every time they met.
“Come on, pumpkin. Uncle Zane is… busy.”
“Christ,” Zane said. “Give her here.” He never wanted to be guilty of being too busy for his niece. Besides, there was no way he would be able to get back to business with Kenley now that his sister had caught them.
Kenley chuckled as Zane dug through the light pink blanket to find the little person inside.
“Hey, sweet pea,” he said with a smile. “Please don’t spit up on me like the last time, ’kay?” He looked up to tell Kenley how Paige seemed to have a problem with his flannel shirts, but he stopped.
She was staring at him with some look on her face he didn’t recognize. It wasn’t bad. It was kind of dreamy. Like she was happy to watch him holding the baby.
Oh.
He looked at his infant niece, seeing her as the promises-of-things-to-come she was. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t thought of marriage and a family. He did want kids someday. He’d even considered the idea of having them with Kenley, but that look on her face caused his flight instincts to kick in for a second. It was the look men were taught to evade for as long as possible. To his surprise, once the initial fear abated he felt comforted by the idea.
He’d suggested they move in together. At the time it had been a desperate attempt to take her away from her fears. But now he realized how much he meant it.
Standing there next to the woman he had feelings for while holding his adorable niece, he wondered why men saw this scenario as a trap. If getting married and having kids was so horrible, why did so many of them do it? There must have been some secret to it. He surely couldn’t ask his father—he’d failed miserably on all levels.
He handed the baby back to his sister with a smile in his heart.
“I forgot, I have a few calls to make.”
Sidney and Kenley gave him a look, but left him in his office alone.
* * *
“So how long has this been going on?” Sidney asked as they walked to Kenley’s desk. Kenley knew there would be no way to get out of the conversation. Strike that—interrogation. “Last I heard, he’d messed things up when my parents were being their horrid selves.”
“It wasn’t him. We worked it out.”
Kenley glanced down the hall, remembering Zane’s sudden need to be alone. Maybe it wouldn’t matter. She’d seen his skittish look enough times to know when he was ready to bolt.
She knew she loved him, and she wondered if he was the type who would ever be able to love her back. She had to admit she’d felt a little twinge in her heart as well as a jolt to her biological clock as she watched him holding Paige. It was easy to see how much he loved the little girl.
“I’m glad he fixed things. My brother’s never been really serious about anyone before. He had a few girlfriends during college. He’s dated, but nothing long-term.”
That should have make Kenley feel better. He’d never had a serious relationship, either. But instead she felt more anxious. She’d never wanted to have more with anyone. She’d seen the pain her father had endured when her mother died. The pain that was still in his eyes whenever anyone spoke of her. She’d spent the last several years thinking love meant pain. Now she realized it might be worth the risk.
“But now I think,” Sidney continued, “he needed to get his business started first. So he knew what he was capable of. What’s important is what happens now.”
“You’re right.” Kenley perked up. The past was the past. What mattered was if Zane was ready for a relationship now.
They chatted until closing. Sidney had called her many times since the robbery, but this was the first time they’d seen each other. Sidney looked around the innocent-looking space and shook her head.
“I can’t believe we could have lost you here in this spot where I once told Zane he was acting like a poo-poo head.” Sidney wiped under her eye and pulled Paige a little closer. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Kenley.”
They attempted an awkward hug that included the baby and ended up laughing.
Kenley locked the door behind Sidney. It was way after quitting time when she walked into Zane’s office.
He’d put everything back on his desk. Too bad.
With a confidence she didn’t quite feel, she strode over to him. Rolling his chair back, she straddled his thighs.
“I want you, Zane Jackson.” Her voice only shook a little as she unbuttoned her shirt, trying for seductive. “Right now.”
With nothing but a low groan, he moved his laptop and papers out of the way again. In one swift movement he stood and placed her on the desk.
They made quick work of each other’s clothing, and seconds later he slid into her with a hard thrust that pushed her across the desk. Undeterred, he simply moved her back into position and drove into her again.
She loved how her sweet, shy Zane turned into this sexy, aggressive creature when she touched him.
He licked and nipped at her skin everywhere at once, and yet she wanted more. Two more thrusts sent her over, and she shouted his name, or something close to it, as he let out a moan of surrender and fell heavily on top of her. His chest heaving against hers, his breath against her neck.
“You know there is a perfectly good bed in your apartment a few blocks from here. And you are officially off for the day,” he said, kissing the place under her ear.
“What about you? Are you off for the day?”
“I have a few things I should finish, but I could be persuaded.”
“Why don’t I go start dinner and I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
He shook out her shirt and passed it over.
“You’re perfect, you know that?”
She hid the frown. She didn’t want him to think she was perfect. She wasn’t. She didn’t want to be on a pedestal. The only place to go from up there was down.
“I’m afraid you’re delusional.” She sat up and looked around for her jeans, but he stopped her.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m not the perfect woman you had fantasies about when I started here. I have faults and problems. If you keep me on a pedestal I’m bound to fall off.”
A smile started on one side of his mouth. “If you’ll recall, I just had you on my desk, not a pedestal.”
She found her pants and pulled them on.
“Ken?” She paused. “I see the real you. The stubborn, workaholic, borderline-neurotic you, as well as the kind, sweet, sex-on-a-stick you. And I think you’re even more perfect. So get over it.”
Her heart filled with love as he bent to kiss her.
“Okay,” she said, pulling herself together as she slipped on her shoes. “I was going to make meatloaf.”
She watched as Zane set the picture of his sister back up on his desk, adjusting it slightly to the side. Then he turned to her with a smile on his face.
“Sounds good,” he said. “Call me and I’ll be there.”
* * *
Zane was still smiling and straightening things on his desk when Brady came in and flopped down on his sofa.
“I have a big problem, boss.”
“I was having an awesome day. Please don’t come in here with bad news,” Zane begged.
“You have the same shit grin on your face that Ken had when she left. Does that have anything to do with your awesome day?”
“The awesome day you’re about to ruin?” Zane deflected the question. Brady laughed it off instead of persisting.
“Actually, my problem is of a personal nature.”
Zane sat up, wanting to help. He’d already agreed to bring Hunter in three days a week, but if he needed something else, Zane would be there.
As much as he and Sidney tormented each other, there was an important bond between siblings. He knew he would be there for Sid, the way Brady took care of Hunter.
“What do you need?”
“I think I’m in love.”
Zane couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped. “And you think I can help you with that? I’ve messed up so many times with Kenley, I’m barely hanging on.”
“From the look on her face when I passed her, you’re holding your own.”
“But sex is different than real feelings. I don’t have to tell you that.”
Brady frowned and shook his head. “No. You don’t. I haven’t even had sex with Mick yet. I guess I just need to know what happens if you tell a girl you have feelings and find out she doesn’t.”
Zane squirmed a bit in his seat and then shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve never told Kenley I loved her.”
Brady’s eyes went wide before he tilted his head and squinted. “But I thought you—”
“Yeah.” He’d tried to tell her less than fifteen minutes ago, but he still hadn’t managed to work up the nerve. Every time he thought he was ready, he’d think of how awful his parents’ marriage was, or how Kenley was out of his league.
“You may be even worse off than me.”
“Possibly.”
“I think I want to go for it.”
“Let me know how it works out.” Maybe he could get some pointers on love from the playboy.
* * *
Michaela smiled as she stepped into the lobby of the place where Brady worked. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake, but she had a good excuse. It was her job.
He’d stopped by her house the night before. He’d said he wanted to talk to her about something, but then he never said anything. Instead, they made out on her sofa until she thought they might take that next step. But he’d left with an apology and an excuse about getting up early the next day.
She didn’t know what was going on.
“Hello. How can I help you?” the woman at the desk asked with a friendly smile.
“Hi. I’m Dr. Walker. I spoke with Mr. Jackson about doing an evaluation for job placement for Hunter Martin.”
“Oh, yes. Zane isn’t here, but I should be able to answer any questions you have.” She gestured to a chair. “Can I get you anything to drink? Tea, water, coffee?”
“You must be Kenley?” Brady had told her every detail of that day. At least the ones he could remember. The darkest parts were shrouded in rage. Probably for the best.
“Yes.” The woman looked surprised. “Sorry.” She held out her hand to shake. “Kenley Carmichael.”
“Hunter has told me a lot about you.”
Kenley answered her questions and took her for a tour of the facility. When they were walking back into the office, Brady was heading out and they stopped, staring at each other.
“Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were stopping in,” he said before he bent and brushed a kiss of happiness over her lips. She’d intended the visit to be a professional one, but at the sight of him, that all went to hell.
“This is your doctor girlfriend?” Kenley smiled.
“Yep. Didn’t she tell you?” Brady’s brows pulled together in question.
“No. I was here on official business.” She hoped her excuse took that look off his face, but it didn’t work. “Are you done for the day?”
“Yeah. I was going to wash up and head home.” He left before she could say anything.
“I think I hurt his feelings.”
“That can’t be. Men always act like they don’t have any feelings.” Kenley snickered at her joke, but Michaela could only manage a smile. “He likes you a lot. He’s pretty excited to have a girlfriend. I don’t think he’s ever had one before.”
She swallowed and went to wait in the hall for Brady to come out.
“Good luck,” Kenley called.
“Hey,” Brady said when he emerged from the restroom, drying his hands.
“I was wondering if you would be interested in coming home with me for dinner.”
“Are you trying to make it up to me?”
“I don’t have anything to make up to you since I was here to do my job and I know you respect me and my job. But now that I’m done with my evaluation, I’d like to take you home with me.”
He nodded and grinned. “Sure.”
* * *
Brady followed Mick to her house. The second they were inside he pulled her against him and kissed her. He still felt a little thrown by his reaction to her dismissal in the office. Now he wanted to claim her, and make her feel so good she’d want to shout their relationship status from the rooftops. Or at the very least, social media.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered by his ear as he moved her backward toward the stairs that would take them to her room.
“You don’t want to?” He stopped in his tracks. They still hadn’t taken that step yet. He didn’t want to rush things. But he felt like now was the time.
“I do. I’m saying I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t want Kenley to know we were dating. I’m not sure why I didn’t say anything.”
“You wanted to keep it professional.” He repeated her excuse back to her.
“That is the truth, but not all of it.”
“Do you want to tell me the rest?”
“I think I was trying to convince myself you don’t matter as much as you do. When I found out my ex was cheating on me, I was devastated because I’d let him become so important to me. I didn’t want that to happen with you.”
“Baby, I think the problem wasn’t that you let him become important to you, it was that you weren’t important to him. Trust me, you are very important to me. I would never be so stupid. Please let me be important in your life. You won’t regret it.”
She smiled and nodded. They continued their way up to her room and he unbuttoned her shirt while kissing her at the same time. He might be considered disabled, but he had some skills.
That thought stilled his lips and fingers.
“What is it?”
“I’m going to be taking off my pants.”
“Yes. That’s how it works.”
That’s not how it had worked for him since he’d lost his foot. His MO had been to get a woman so worked up before they got to her place that he could do her on the table, counter, or even a wall without getting undressed. Then with the right excuse and a smile he was out of there. Even when he’d stayed with Michaela that night, he’d kept his jeans on.
But Michaela was not going to be satisfied with that. He wasn’t going to be either. He wanted to take his time and worship every inch of her body. That would mean she would want to reciprocate on some level.
“I have a prosthetic.”
“Your foot. I know. You mentioned it.”
Right. He’d told her. And she was still turned on. “Are you one of those women who get off on that?” He’d met a devotee once. Scary shit.
She blinked at him and frowned as she pulled her shirt together and sat up. “I’m one of those women who gets off on the guy she likes kissing her. At least until he says something stupid.”
So that was a no. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to figure out why you’re with me.” Best to just cut to the chase. If she would just spit it out, he could decide if her answer repulsed him enough to make him leave or not. If he knew how she felt, it might be easier for him to tell her how he felt. God, this was hard.
“I’m with you because I thought you were a great guy and we have a lot of chemistry. But maybe I was wrong.”
“You’re a fancy doctor. I move boats around. There has to be something else.”
With a determined look in her eyes she reached up, put her hands on the side of his head, and yanked him down to her lips. There she proceeded to kiss the hell out of him, until he moaned and gave in.
Right when he was ready to drag her back down on the bed she pulled away, her chest heaving and her eyes bright.
“That is the something else. Is it enough for you?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “It is.”
“Besides, I’m not a real doctor.”
“Is the certificate in your office a fake?”
“No. I did finish med school. Though it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I did it even though I didn’t want to.”
“You didn’t want to become a doctor?” She was great at what she did. She really cared about the patients.
Hell, he must really be in love if he’d chosen to learn more about her over getting in her pants. He wanted the whole package with her, which meant getting to know everything. He turned to face her on the edge of the bed and took her hands in his, urging her to continue.
“My parents are the best. They would have encouraged me to be anything I ever wanted. Apparently, at some point when I was a child, I told them I wanted to be a doctor. After that, everything I did, every class I took was influenced by a decision I don’t even remember making. But I went along with it. I didn’t know I was unhappy with the idea until I was there, elbow deep in a cadaver trying not to gag.” She shook her head. “And failing most of the time.”
He managed to hold back his laughter.
“After a long time and a lot of money, I graduated, but realized I’d never enjoy being a doctor. I couldn’t handle those kinds of things up close. But I still wanted to help people. After going back to school on my own dime for business, I was able to get the job as director. I’m really excited about it. But the doctor part is a lie in my heart.”
Brady’s earlier worry was back.
“Mick, my leg is not pretty. If you can’t stand to look at it, I would understand.”
She slapped him on the shoulder.
“Stop it. You’re not going to be able to scare me off. There is a huge difference between me seeing your healed amputation and me being the one who does the amputating. I can handle it. Now, take off your pants and shut up.”
“Yes ma’am.”
He decided to table the emotional stuff until he had a better handle on it. For now he’d rely on their chemistry to guide him.