Chapter 9
He caught her looking at her necklace with a slight smile on her lips as he walked back to their table.
“So you like it,” he asked, happy to see her smiling again. He wasn’t sure what had been wrong earlier, but he was glad to see her back to her normal pleasant self.
“I do. It’s so nice to be appreciated. I’m not used to it. My old boss just piled on more work.”
“And then accused you of sleeping with her husband,” he reminded her.
“Yeah.” She laughed. “I’m kind of glad though.”
“Really?”
“I probably would have stayed there my whole life.”
“Because of the loyalitis,” he teased, and she laughed.
“I wouldn’t have known what it was like to have a job I actually loved.”
Hearing her say the word loved made his heart do that twitching thing again. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pine for her from the sidelines. He wouldn’t allow it. He was a man.
Before he had a chance to act, the lights in the room dimmed and the DJ in the corner announced that the dancing would be beginning with a classic. “Twist and Shout” filled the room.
“It’s just like prom, huh?” He laughed.
“I wouldn’t know. I didn’t go.”
“You didn’t?” He couldn’t hide his surprise.
“No. I was invited to my junior prom, but my mom was so sick. She was gone by my senior prom, but the people at school didn’t seem important to me anymore.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine. It’s not something I talk about.” She sniffed. “As one of my classmates pointed out, I shouldn’t have been too upset since she was only my adopted mom. But she was the only mom I’d ever known.”
He swallowed. “You were adopted?”
“Yeah. Didn’t Sidney tell you?”
“No. She didn’t mention it.” It would have been nice to have a heads up so he didn’t walk into an awkward conversation.
He could almost envision what it must have been like for her through her mother’s illness. Struggling through school while hiding the pain. No doubt she would have been allowed to take a leave, but she hadn’t. She was strong. Stronger than he ever was.
He always assumed the beautiful people lived perfect lives, but that wasn’t always true. Kenley had faced a lot of heartache and still came to work every day with a smile on her face.
“I’m sorry for what you went through. And sorry someone was so insensitive. Of course she was your mother.”
“Thanks. It’s easier to know that now. It’s harder in high school. I always feel like those four years were just practice for what happens in real life. Out here it’s different. Back then, we were all so stupid. We didn’t know what mattered.”
She was right. And he knew what mattered now. Her. “I was kind of a geek in high school.”
“No way.”
“Yep. I was tall, but built like a stick until my junior year. I had trouble talking to girls and I spent most of my time drawing.”
“Ooh. Artsy hipster.”
“It’s too bad that term didn’t exist back then. Maybe I would have been cool in some way.”
They laughed.
“Do you still draw? I like the pictures of the boats in your office.” He couldn’t very well tell her he’d done a sketch of her. He’d sound like a stalker.
“Occasionally.”
“What got you into boats?”
“My dad had a boat when I was younger. It was the one thing my family did together. He had a sailboat and we had to work as a team to get it moving. There was no time for my parents’ bickering.” He shook his head.
“Sidney said your parents live in Florida now. Do you visit much?”
“No. I’ve never been down.”
“You’re not close to them?”
“Not really. They’ll be coming up when my niece is born. It will be tense.” He tilted his head. “Are you close to your parents?”
“Yes. When my mother died, my father was a mess. I didn’t want to go off to school and leave him alone, but he insisted. And my mother had insisted before she passed.” She smiled at the memory. “I came home for spring break during my junior year and he was acting all nervous when he picked me up at the airport. I didn’t know what was up with him. When we got home he made me wait in the car until he mustered up enough nerve to finally tell me he had a girlfriend and she was living with him.”
“That must have been a shock.” He had lived through a similar shock with his parents. Though not as nice of a one.
“It was, and I didn’t have much time to figure out how I felt about it. Just the few steps from the driveway to the door. But then I saw my dad’s face when he introduced me to Belinda and I knew it was fine. She made him happy. And I wanted my dad to be happy.”
“And you like her?”
“Yeah. She’s great.” She nodded. “The weird thing is she’s not like my mother at all. They have completely different personalities. It’s strange how someone can love one person, but can also love someone else completely different.” Her father had found love twice, while some people never found it. It didn’t seem fair, but he didn’t say that out loud.
After the topic of love came up, they kept their gazes on everything else in the room besides each other.
A slow song came on, and couples migrated out to the dance floor, assuming the position. Men with their hands on hips. Woman with their arms looped around necks. There were a few couples that actually knew how to do a formal style dance. They wove in and out between the stiff-legged variety.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked. Her eyes widened in surprise. “Since you missed your prom.” He quickly made up an excuse.
“Sure.” He took her hand as they walked to the dance floor staying three feet from each other. There was a brief hesitation between them until he held out his arms awkwardly and she stepped into them.
He began turning them in a small circle to the sway of the music. He might not know how to waltz, but he could turn her in a small circle. She smiled up at him. Apparently he was doing well enough.
Now that she was in his arms, so close to his body that he could feel the heat of her skin, he became a bit more courageous.
“So how’s your boyfriend dealing with you being away this weekend?” he asked.
Her step faltered, and she tilted her head to the side.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Her tone made it sound as if the idea was preposterous.
“Did you break up?”
“With who? I haven’t had a date since Christmas.”
“Oh.” He reflected her look of confusion. “I thought—Never mind.” He shook it off. Who had she been talking about on the phone?
“Does your girlfriend mind that you’re away?” she asked timidly.
Was she joking? “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“So the flowers didn’t work, huh?” she said with a little smile. “Sorry.”
“What flowers?”
“I saw the charge on the credit card.”
He looked up at the ceiling, cursing his stupidity. Why hadn’t he used a personal card so she wouldn’t have seen the charge? Flowers obviously aren’t a business expense anyway. He had been too nervous to think that morning.
He wasn’t sure what to say next. He glanced around at all the other happy couples on the dance floor. He wanted that. He wanted to be a happy couple with Kenley and he’d waited long enough. He decided it was all or nothing.
“The flowers were for you. I was going to give them to you, and then ask you out. But I heard you on the phone talking about a date and taking it slow or something, and I ditched that plan.”
Her sexy lips formed a perfect O and then she giggled.
“I was talking about you. Vanessa thought our trip to Galveston counted as a date.”
“You said we were taking it slow?”
She shrugged and her cheeks flushed.
“We had been kind of flirting. I thought that was us taking it slow,” she explained. She was adorable when she was embarrassed. He wanted her all the more.
“I think our attempt at flirting was more like taking things incrementally and painfully slow.” They laughed together. For a second the moment seemed light, but too soon the awkwardness took hold of them again.
She was in his arms, she liked him, and she didn’t have a boyfriend. It seemed like the obvious next step would be to kiss her or ask her out on a real date, or at the very least to say something charming.
He couldn’t think of a damn thing. All the times before when he couldn’t seem to remember she was his employee caught up to him in that moment when it was the only thing he could think of.
She didn’t have anything to offer either. She tensed and watched the other dancers intently. When the music changed to a faster song, they sprang apart as if they were on fire.
He opened his mouth to say something at the same time she said, “I guess it’s getting late.”
“Yeah. I guess so.” It wasn’t even ten, but he could tell she wanted to get away. He needed to make sure they were okay. “Hey, about before.”
“Yes?” She seemed eager to hear what he had to say.
“I don’t want things to be complicated or awkward between us. You’re a valuable asset to the company, and I’d hate it if I did something to mess that up.”
“Right. I was thinking the same thing.”
So that was that. He’d admitted he had feelings for her. She’d admitted she had feelings for him. But it didn’t matter.
* * *
The moment was over. She’d messed it up. When he walked her to the elevator she was already planning to call Vanessa and tell her what had happened. Hopefully Vanessa would have some advice to help her. She really liked Zane, but between the fear of possibly losing her job and the terror of having to tell him she had never been with a man, she was barely able to speak. When she realized she wouldn’t be able to call Vanessa with a dead phone, her shoulders slumped. “I just remembered I left my charger plugged in the boat.”
She could only hope it didn’t sound like a ploy to get him alone on the boat. It truly wasn’t. She wasn’t smooth enough to come up with an elaborate plan of seduction.
As they walked back to the boat in silence, she desperately tried to think of something to say to get the moment back. She didn’t want to go back to inept flirting, or the miscommunications. She wanted him. And she needed her job.
He helped her onto the boat where she retrieved the charging cable from the deck. When she turned to leave he stood blocking the way. He stared at her for a long moment.
“Would you like some wine?”
“Wine?”
“It’s in the refrigerator. It makes it look classy when I rent it out.”
“Sure.” She grabbed on to any reason to stay with him. Maybe wine would make it easier to tell him she was a virgin, but didn’t want to be any longer.
She sat on the deck, listening to the sounds of him below in the galley.
Silently she braced herself for the next step. The final step. She wanted to be with Zane, and she wasn’t going to let fear stop her again.
Zane handed her a glass and tapped his to hers. “To your first boat show.”
She took a sip and then a nervous gulp.
He watched her over the edge of his glass as he took his sip and then set the glass down.
“The stars are bright tonight,” he mentioned.
Stars. Talking about stars was something someone would do if they were trying to be romantic, right? Or was he into astronomy? She was so nervous her wine sloshed. Or maybe it was because she was in a boat. The soft sounds of the water slapping against the hull reminded her that this was real.
“So tomorrow we’re meeting the guy about the cuddy?” she said, so she had something to talk about.
“Yes. He said around ten. If I can get a good deal, I think Wes will be happy with it.” More silence.
“Are you going to build one of the boats you drew someday?”
“I’ve started on one of them. It’s sitting in my garage at home. I guess boat building for pleasure doesn’t feel much different than boat building for business.”
That made sense. She twisted her fingers in her lap, grasping for something else to talk about. She was so nervous. How did people do this every weekend with strangers?
“Do you ever draw for fun?”
“I don’t have a lot of time for any kind of fun, actually.”
“Oh.” Was that his way of putting her off? His eyes seemed to be luring her in. She didn’t understand. She was so bad at this.
They found other things to chat about as they finished the wine and watched the stars. He told her he had a degree in engineering and how his roommate had wanted him to get a job at his family’s firm in New York.
“I hated high school, and I always planned to move away. But after college when I had my chance, something brought me back to the area. I guess it’s home.”
“I liked living in New York, but it is nice being closer to Madison.” Working with him.
When she couldn’t put it off any longer she stood up to go to the hotel. Zane followed her as she got to the steps that would lead her to the dock.
She needed to do something. There would be no way she could go to sleep with these feelings zinging through her body. It just wasn’t possible.
She needed him. Now.
* * *
“Do you—” Zane stopped when she paused at the steps that would take her off the boat. He couldn’t say what he was thinking. He was just desperate to keep her close.
“Do I what?” she asked. The look on her face made him want to answer.
“You were right when you said high school was just practice for real life. I kind of missed a lot of practice back then.” Special thanks to the wine for making the stuff on the inside of his head come out so freely.
“Me too.”
“Maybe it’s not too late.” He took a step closer. She didn’t move away, but she looked like a bunny being hunted by a wolf.
He opened his mouth to take it all back and apologize, but before he got the chance his lips were covered by hers.
“Yes,” she whispered against him. Since his mouth was still open, it was easy for her to slip her tongue inside. His eyes were also still open, which was helpful in convincing himself this was actually happening.
The last time he’d told her it would be impossible for her to kiss him without him being on board. He had been wrong. She had definitely kissed him this time. She was braver than he was. She was the wolf.
His two-second delay went unnoticed as he quickly got in the game and kissed her back. Not only was he kissing her, but he was searching her body with his hands. He pushed her up against the wall of the bridge, making her moan as his body pressed to every part of hers.
This was just the beginning. There was no stopping in sight. He only had two questions at this point.
“How drunk are you?” he asked.
“I’m not,” she answered.
“Are you sure?” was his second question.
“Yes.” She managed to get out between gasps. She was really into it. He smiled against her lips while walking backward toward the steps that would take them below.
He kissed her for a long time before opening the door and leading her down. It was difficult to kiss while descending narrow stairs, so he helped her on the steps until she was safely against him once more.
At that moment, seeing her in his stateroom with the contents of his suitcase askew, he felt the impact of what was about to happen. Her lip curled up on one side as she unbuttoned the top button on her shirt.
There was no more resisting. He had to do this. In the name of every awkward teenage boy who was ever smitten with the sexy cheerleader, he had to. It was his duty. He was owed this for all the time he’d spent pining for an unattainable girl back in high school.
And then he noticed the way her hand shook as she moved to the second button and everything changed. This wasn’t about the past or the girl he’d once thought he loved.
It was about Kenley. The amazing woman who was here with him now. He thought all this time he’d been attracted to her because she’d looked like the girl of his dreams. But somewhere along the way she’d taken over that spot all on her own.
There was only her.
She sat on the edge of the big bed, and he crawled over her as he made his way up to her lips again.
After his transformation from ugly duckling in college, he’d had his fair share of sex. He became quite skilled at it, giving him even more confidence as he grew into himself.
He decided to unleash all his best tricks on Kenley. Taking his time, he removed her shirt and jeans. But once he caught a glimpse of her sexy bra and panties, his movements became more hurried. Taking his time became a struggle.
She was as perfect as he’d fantasized. Her hard nipples pressed into his chest when released from her bra. He spent a good bit of his attention on them before taking off her panties.
And within a few minutes she was lying next to him, naked and breathing heavily. At some point his clothes came off, either her doing or his, he couldn’t quite remember. The sound of their panting filled the space as he reached for a condom from the built-in nightstand and rolled it on. He was surprised to see his hands shaking slightly.
He gazed at the beautiful woman in his bed. It was like a dream coming true, and he couldn’t help but take another long moment to appreciate it. To appreciate her.
With a smile at each other he lined up to her warmth, ready to slide into her. He touched her wet heat and then… resistance. He pulled back slightly, and tried again with the same result.
He looked down in confusion. Was he in the wrong place? He was a little buzzed, but not enough that he couldn’t get Tab A into Slot B.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Maybe he was nervous? He didn’t feel nervous anymore, he felt determined. He wanted to be inside her. More than anything.
“It’s okay. I’m fine.”
He kissed her neck and then took his time making sure he was lined up at the exact spot. Pushing in again, he was faced with the same problem. It was as if he didn’t fit, but he pushed on, unable to do anything else.
He heard her panting change from rapture to whimpers of pain and started to pull out again.
“No, please. Just do it. Please? Don’t stop,” she was begging him. Kenley Carmichael was in his bed begging him to have sex with her. He would not fail her.
When he pushed harder she cried out, and not in a good way. It was only when she relaxed, that he began to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Was she a virgin? No, it wasn’t possible. She was twenty-eight years old. Women who looked like Kenley weren’t still virgins at twenty-eight. There had to be a law or something.
She kissed him and pulled him closer. All the emotions, mixed with this new possibility, and the physical sensations were too much for him to stop to ask questions. He looked down, seeing the trust in her eyes and the necklace he’d given her against her bare skin, and was overwhelmed.
“Don’t stop,” she said again. He had no intention of stopping.
He whispered her name and pushed into her fully, the heat almost too much to bear. The tightness around him was glorious. He continued and she began moving with him like she’d done this with him every night. He must have been mistaken about her inexperience before. He cast the thought aside, so he could concentrate on what was happening now.
Her tiny cries and moans were now from pleasure. He was making her feel good and that thought had him getting too close to the edge. He kissed her again as he rocked into her harder. Her orgasm came on quickly, and seemed to surprise her. But her moans of satisfaction continued louder, as he thrust into her those last few times that ended him.
He felt almost dizzy when he rolled off her and stared up at the low ceiling. He pulled her close to kiss her head and play with her hair. He’d been out of the game for a few months and now he felt energized. Not only had they had sex, but it had been mind-blowing sex at that.
People over-used that term. He was guilty of it himself. But this had truly been amazing. No exaggeration needed.
As his body calmed, he realized he was happier than he’d ever been after sex. He wasn’t second guessing anything. There were no regrets. It was just her and happiness.
He’d had sex with the amazing woman in his arms, whom he respected and cared about. She was more than the physical part.
She was every part.