Her Perfect Affair by Priscilla Oliveras (16)

Chapter Sixteen

“Good morning!”

Jeremy smiled brightly when he turned from adjusting the heat on the stove burner to find Rosa shuffling into the kitchen Friday morning.

The stiff smile she greeted him with didn’t inspire much confidence that today would start better than the night before had ended.

His spirits dipped a notch.

Wrapped in her favorite orange fleece bathrobe, its long sleeves and skirt covering her from her fingertips to her pink-polished toes, with her black hair disheveled, she looked adorably bed rumpled.

It was a true act of willpower to rein in the urge to scoop her in his arms, take the stairs by twos, and not stop ’til they reached her room.

Once there, he’d untie her thick robe and slide it off her shoulders. Taste her sweet lips and get high on her delectable vanilla scent. Slowly peel off her Reading is Sexy pajama shirt and remind her how sexy they could be together.

Unfortunately, while his mind carried the two of them upstairs to start the day how he’d like every morning to begin, Rosa tugged out a chair at the kitchen table and sank into it. Her heavy sigh rivaled a moody teen’s, cooling Jeremy’s back-to-bed thoughts.

“How’s your stomach feeling?” he ventured to ask.

“Ehhhhh,” she muttered.

Okay then. Apparently not having coffee to help her wake up was going to be a pregnancy-long problem.

Rather than poke the ornery bear that she was this morning, Jeremy busied himself with pouring hot water from the kettle into a mug he’d already fixed with a mint tea bag and fresh ginger shavings.

Rosa wasn’t normally a morning person anyway, but after the catastrophic end to their evening last night, he definitely hadn’t expected Peppy Patty to come strolling down the stairs.

The moment he’d stepped into the ladies’ room at the restaurant and caught sight of her tear-stained face, he’d been bombarded by regrets for bringing her to the party. It was an idiotic move on his part, especially given Dr. Jiménez’s demand that Rosa get as much rest as possible.

He’d apologized repeatedly the entire time he’d led her down the blessedly darkened hallway, through the restaurant’s kitchen, and out the back door, where the valet had brought Jeremy’s Beemer for them. Thanks to the nice-sized tip he’d offered the kid.

Rosa had barely spoken the entire drive back to Oakton. Only one-word answers. If that.

Eyes closed. Head leaning against the passenger-door window. She’d made it clear she wasn’t in the mood to chat.

Once home, her horrified glance up the stairs had led him to swing her up in his arms. That she’d actually let him carry her up to her room was evidence of how poorly she’d felt.

Of course, as soon as he’d put her down, she’d shooed him away, her face pinched with fatigue. He’d tried chalking it up to her desire for privacy. Maybe her embarrassment over getting sick and having to sneak out the restaurant’s back door.

But her refusal to make eye contact, the arm’s distance she kept—hell, she’d even sidestepped a hug—had set alarm bells clanging in his head.

Something more than feeling sick was wrong with her. He had no idea what the hell it might be.

Last night he’d come thiiiis close to calling his mom, asking if Rosa had mentioned anything when his mom had checked up on her in the bathroom. Only it had been late and it had made no sense to worry his mom any more than she already was.

Instead, he’d sprawled fully dressed on Yazmine’s old bed, listening as Rosa went to wash up, then returned to her room. The house had grown quiet and still he’d lain awake. Wanting to go to her, make sure she was okay. Certain she wouldn’t want him hovering.

Eventually he’d washed up, too, then climbed under the sheets, worried thoughts keeping him awake until early morning.

Now, he watched as Rosa pressed the cup of medicinal tea to her lips and breathed deeply. Usually the minty aroma would do the trick. This morning, he hoped the concoction not only calmed her stomach, but also whatever else was bothering her.

Once she’d taken a couple sips, he grabbed the bottle of prenatal vitamins and a small plastic bowl filled with diced papaya from the counter. He joined her at the table, sliding the napkin and fork he had set out earlier closer to her.

“Gracias,” she mumbled.

“De nada.”

His Spanish skills got her lips to tug slightly in the right direction so he left well enough alone until she’d eaten several bites of fruit.

“Do you want to talk about last night?” he asked.

“Not really.” Rosa wiped her mouth with the napkin, then took another sip of her tea.

“I’m sorry I had to send my mom to check on you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He did though. Just like her dull responses and listless attitude worried him. Sure, she wasn’t a morning person—he’d learned that real quick once he’d moved in. But this was more than simply not liking mornings.

He also knew Rosa didn’t like to be pushed. Best for him to say his piece, then let it be. She’d either work through her issue privately or work up the nerve to spit out whatever was bugging her. On her own time frame.

“When you sent me back to the party, I headed for the bartender to get you a glass of 7 Up or ginger ale. It’s supposedly good for upset stomachs. At least, that’s what my mom always says. And, I figured they wouldn’t have mint ginger tea anyway so why bother asking.”

He was babbling, but Rosa’s Mona Lisa smile had peeked out for a second behind her morning frown so he didn’t care.

“I got halfway across the room when one of Dad’s junior partners stopped me to ask about identity theft and malware programs. He’s dealing with a pretty serious problem right now. Some new guy I hadn’t met before happened to be standing nearby. He overheard and chimed in to say he’s been having similar issues in the last week.”

“Que horrible,” Rosa mumbled into her teacup.

“Yeah, it is horrible. Not to mention, it’s kind of a strange coincidence.” Jeremy tapped his fingers on the wood table, mentally reviewing an idea that had come up when he’d been unable to sleep last night. “I plan to do a little digging into something when I get to the office today. Before our update meeting on the Japan project. If I find anything, I’ll pass it along to Mark Henderson.”

“Who?”

“The IT guy at Taylor & Millward. I’m wondering if anyone else at the firm has mentioned similar problems recently.”

Rosa leaned forward, dangling her fork over the bowl of papaya as she decided which one to spear. Her front teeth set to nibbling on her lower lip, like the decision required rocket science, and Jeremy nearly reached out to rub her plump lips with his thumb.

“Do you know this Henderson guy?” she asked.

She stabbed a large piece of fruit with her fork, then sat back in her chair. Her eyes no longer quite as sleep groggy, she gazed back at him in question.

“Uh.” He had a hard time computing what she’d asked, his attention still caught on her lips, now decadently sucking on the sweet papaya.

All he could think about was how delectable the juice would taste on her mouth if he closed the distance between them and kissed her. Or if he dribbled a little on her neck, then slowly licked it off.

“Jeremy?”

“Hmm?”

Rosa’s morning frown deepened. “Henderson? Do you know him well?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jeremy cleared his throat. Man, he had to stop his mind from meandering into the gutter before he got himself in more trouble here. He shifted in his seat, adjusting his jeans, and continued. “Mark, um, Mark Henderson’s been with the firm for ages. I think he almost retired a couple years ago, but changed his mind. I wasn’t here, didn’t really get the full story.... Anyway, I’m not sure why he stayed.”

He shrugged, mentally kicking himself for bringing up the fact that he’d left and had avoided anything to do with the law firm for a long time. No need to remind Rosa about that.

Instead, he got up and crossed to the fridge. “Want me to fry you an egg?”

She shook her head. “No thanks. You think you might have figured out something about the identity theft?”

“Maybe. All I have is a theory at the moment.”

“It’s good you’re helping.”

“I haven’t done anything yet,” he qualified, opening the bottom cabinet to the left of the stove to grab a skillet. He turned the burner switch on medium, then added a squirt of cooking spray to the pan.

“Still, you’re trying. So,” Rosa said, drawing out the word, “I think this is the second time you’ve mentioned a meeting about the project in Japan. But you haven’t said much else.”

Jeremy’s hand froze as he cracked an egg against the edge of the pan.

Damn, he hadn’t intended to bring this up until he had more concrete information. No use worrying her unnecessarily.

He pulled the shell apart with his thumbs, the egg white sizzling as it hit the hot surface. “Nothing’s settled yet, but the merger between the two Japanese companies is progressing faster than either of the parties anticipated.”

“That’s—that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

He glanced over his shoulder to catch Rosa tracing the edge of her mug with a finger, her gaze trained on the motion.

Was it a good thing?

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

“For the companies involved, yes,” he answered.

Once everything was finalized, they’d be ready to move forward with the IT upgrades. That meant someone from his company, presumably him, would head to Japan to lead the project.

The problem was, he didn’t know if he wanted to go anymore. Not with Rosa suffering from this hyperemesis gravidarum. Once she got better, because, damn, she had to get better, there were a ton of baby preparations she’d need help with.

Nor did he care to be gone once the baby arrived. He wanted to be a part of the baby’s firsts. Experiencing them alongside Rosa. Not remotely via Skype or through pictures sent over the phone and email.

“If things progress, you could leave again, right?” Rosa asked.

“The project lead would go. Maybe a few others to round out the team.”

“And that’s you. The project lead, I mean.”

Technically, yes. Though he’d considered asking to be taken off even if passing up project lead might derail a potential promotion down the line.

Others in the company had moved to non-travel status when their wives were expecting or due to family health issues. His situation wasn’t any different. Other than the fact that Rosa didn’t want to get married.

“There are a few others who’d be interested in taking lead,” Jeremy said.

“But they selected you.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Don’t.” Rosa pushed back her chair, the wood legs screeching against the linoleum floor. “Think back to how excited you were when they offered you this opportunity. I remember it. I saw it on your face when you told me at Yaz’s wedding. Before . . . before this.”

She placed a hand over her belly, the long sleeves of her orange robe covering all but her fingertips. “Don’t give up something you’ve worked so hard for, because of me.” Her hand made a slow circle on her stomach, an expectant mother’s caress. “Because of us.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“I’m serious.” That Fernandez stubbornness she rarely exhibited tilted her chin in defiance. Her hair a wild mess of waves framing her don’t-mess-with-me glare. “Nothing good can come from regrets. I refuse to be the cause of them. You deserve better. Por favor, don’t do anything rash.”

“I’m not!”

“Just, slow down. And consider what might be right in the long run. For all of us.” As quickly as it flared, Rosa’s defiance drained away, leaving disappointment in its place.

Without another word, she stood and left the kitchen.

Jeremy watched her go, stunned by the downward spiral their conversation had taken.

Damn it! Why did everything keep getting so screwed up? Why did it constantly feel like for every one step forward, they wound up taking two steps back?

Anger and frustration flashed through him and he spun back around to the stove. Only then did he register the acrid stench of burnt eggs.

Great, seemed like everything was going up in flames this morning.

Dragging the skillet to the back burner, he twisted the heat off with an annoyed jerk of his wrist.

Rosa was right about regrets. They sucked.

But she was dead wrong if she thought he had any when it came to what they shared together. He’d do whatever it took to prove that to her.

* * *

Jeremy strode quickly toward his car in the darkened parking garage near the Taylor & Millward offices, hours past when he was supposed to pick Rosa up after Poetry Club.

The afternoon had completely gotten away from him.

The noon meeting at his office had been brief. With no new progress to report concerning the Japanese company merger. Shortly after, he’d spoken on the phone with Mark Henderson at the law firm. The older man had asked him to consider coming over to the T & M building to discuss Jeremy’s theory about the identity theft problems in person.

The request wasn’t one Jeremy took lightly. And Mark knew that.

Jeremy hadn’t been to the Taylor & Millward building in years. But if he was right, Henderson needed to be aware of the cyber phishing their employees were dealing with and the very real potential that the law firm’s system may have been hacked.

After speaking with Henderson and explaining a few diagnostic options, Jeremy found himself confronted with a decision: roll up his sleeves and help, or walk away. Again.

Rosa’s advice that he find a way to make peace with the past wormed its way through his thoughts, her voice the sound of reason and encouragement whispering in his ear. So he’d listened to Mark’s plea for assistance rather than dismissing it right away.

Jeremy hadn’t anticipated that the discussion with Mark would turn into a fact-finding mission. A challenge Jeremy’s penchant for problem-solving had pounced on, the same way it had when he was a kid and he’d gotten a new erector set or, later, when he was a member of the U of I Computer Science Department’s HackIllinois team.

Once they started digging, time slipped away. Normally, Jeremy didn’t mind the hours lost in combing computer files and mining data. Except that, when he finally took a brain break and glanced at his watch, Poetry Club had already started. He’d tried to send Rosa a text message letting her know he was running late leaving the city, only to realize that his phone must have fallen out of his pocket on the drive over. Without his cell, he couldn’t send a text. Instead, he’d used an office phone to leave her a voice message, then called Yazmine to see if she could pick up Rosa.

After the way they had left things this morning, he hated not having spoken to Rosa directly. The last thing he wanted her to think was that he’d forgotten about her depending on him for a ride home.

He approached his car and clicked it unlocked. As soon as he opened the driver’s side, he spotted his phone wedged between the front seat and the door well. He quickly tugged off a leather glove to tap his screen unlock code. His gut clenched when he noted the number of missed calls and texts from Rosa.

6:13 PM shone on the top of his cell screen.

Damn! He smacked the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.

No doubt the difficult meeting with her family priest—the one Jeremy had promised to attend in a show of unity—had finished a while ago. Even worse, she hadn’t called or texted to let him know how it had gone.

How in the hell did everything with them keep getting so screwed up? His attempt at doing a good deed for the firm had wound up making him disappoint Rosa.

She had stood by his side last night at the firm’s holiday party. Not that he couldn’t have gone on his own, but being with her had given him a sense of calm reassurance, as it typically did. He should have been there today, doing his best to help her fight to keep the job she loved.

She had every right to be pissed at him for his no-show.

Frustrated with himself and the situation, Jeremy started his car and peeled out of the parking garage.

As soon as he reached a red light, he listened to her two messages. The first, left shortly after her initial text, repeated the typed message alerting him of the meeting with Father Yosef. By the second voice mail, apparently left as the students arrived because he could hear a couple of the boys in the background, her voice sounded concerned.

Or was that doubt?

Ah man, no telling what she’d been thinking thanks to his incommunicado status.

Hopefully Rosa had noticed his voice message after Poetry Club though based on her last text, it didn’t appear so. That meant she’d gone into her meeting with Father Yosef wondering if Jeremy had completely blown her off.

At the next red light, he tried calling, anxious to speak with her. It went straight to voice mail. Either her phone was off or she was avoiding him. Neither option bode well for him.

Evening post-work traffic heading out of the city made the drive to the suburbs miserably slow. By the time he turned onto Rosa’s street well over an hour later, he’d passed frustrated and moved on to full-blown aggravation.

He pulled up in front of her house, noting the black Corolla parked in the driveway. Lilí was home for school break.

Disappointment blew through him, and his spirits sank to his toes.

If Lilí was back, Rosa wouldn’t need him to stay with her anymore. His temporary roommate status would be revoked. Without him being any closer to convincing her that she could depend on him for the long haul.

Jeremy hurried up the front walk, lowering his head against the bitter winter wind. He searched his key ring for the Fernandez house key, but at the last moment opted to knock instead. With Lilí here, the dynamics changed; it didn’t feel right walking in unannounced.

Hunched against the cold, Jeremy waited for someone to answer.

When the door opened, Lilí’s gamine features, framed by her pixie haircut, peeked out from behind it. She smiled a greeting, but he couldn’t help noticing the dark shadows around her hazel-green eyes.

“Hey, Jer.” She beckoned him inside, closing the door behind him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“It’s good to see you.” He wrapped her in a brotherly hug. “I hadn’t heard when you were coming. The drive up go well?”

“Yeah, same boring trip up I-57. I meant to call Rosa yesterday, but I’ve been helping one of my dorm residents with something personal, probably a little beyond regular RA duties. Anyway, between that and finals, I wasn’t thinking about much else.”

“Everything okay?” He held her at arm’s length, noting the absence of her usual mischievous spark.

Lilí dragged a hand through her short hair, leaving her wispy spikes askew. A weighty sigh escaped her as she shook her head. “Not really, but you have your own problems to deal with.”

She backed into the living room, eyeing him as he unbuttoned his winter coat and hung it, along with his scarf, on the rack near the door.

“I’m not sure what’s been going on down here,” Lilí said, “but when I picked up Rosa at Queen of Peace, she had this pinched look on her face. The kind she makes when she’s trying not to cry. And when I asked where you were, she gave me an evil eye Tía Dolores would be proud of. We got home and Rosa went straight to her room.”

Lilí jerked a thumb toward the stairwell a few feet away in the foyer.

“Did she say anything about Father Yosef?” he asked, edging his way toward the bottom step.

“Nope. But I saw him pulling out of the school parking lot as I was turning in.”

“Has she eaten anything? Maybe asked for some mint ginger tea or warm rice water?”

“Mint what?”

“The anti-nausea drinks I’ve been brewing for her?”

Lilí did a double take, her brows diving down in a deep frown. “Do I look like a Starbucks barista to you?”

Great. Apparently whatever she’d been dealing with hadn’t diminished her smart-ass attitude. Sounded like he’d be giving some cooking lessons in the near future. Dolores would hunt him down if he left without showing Lilí how to make the remedies the girls’ madrina had taught him.

On top of that, add the Sears Tower level of worry he’d face once he was home, wondering if Rosa was feeling sick, with Lilí incapable of helping her.

“Look, I’m gonna head up to check on your sister,” he told Lilí. “Can you stick around the house for a bit so we can go over a few things?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Lilí pulled her cell from her back jeans pocket and checked the screen. “I told this student I’d be available if she needed to talk.”

“Great, I’ll be back down in a bit.” He started up the stairs, coming to a halt when Lilí called his name.

He looked over his shoulder to find her at the bottom of the stairs.

Maybe it was the lighting in the foyer, but the shadows under her eyes looked more pronounced all of a sudden. Her usually impish grin was more a twisted frown as she stared up at him.

“Don’t upset her,” Lilí warned, hands on her hips. “If you do, you’ll have to answer to me.”

It was almost comical, Lilí thinking she could scare him off.

In the past, he would have hit her with a smart-ass comment of his own. Knowing she’d answer with a throaty laugh.

Now, he was afraid he’d already broken that promise, having upset Rosa one too many times.

He only hoped he could convince her to give him another chance. Taking the stairs by twos, he hurried to her room.

“Está bien,” Rosa answered when he knocked.

Since she’d answered in Spanish, he figured she thought he was her sister.

“It’s Jeremy,” he clarified. “Still okay to come in?”

There was a pause, a brief second during which his heart skipped because he thought she might say no.

Her door-muffled “yes” had him turning the knob before she changed her mind.

He entered to find her sitting on top of her bed, legs stretched out, her back against the headboard. Her poetry journal, like a security blanket, rested on her lap.

Dressed in black leggings and a loose-fitting light purple sweater, with her black-stockinged feet and hair up in a ponytail, she looked like a young college coed, home for the holidays along with Lilí.

Her somber expression stopped him a few feet into the room. He took in her puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Noticed the tissue box tilted on its side, lodged between her hip and a round orange throw pillow. The pen wobbled in her hand, and he rushed over to sit on the edge of her bed.

“Rosa, I am so sorry I missed the meeting with Father Yosef. Did you get my voice message?”

She nodded, a tear escaping to trail down her right cheek. She swiped it away, only to have another slip down the other side.

His gut clenched at the sorrow swimming in her brown eyes.

“I stopped at Taylor & Millward thinking I’d just have a conversation with Mark Henderson. Three and a half hours later, I’m elbow deep in the firm’s computer system. Digging for clues that might lead to how they were hacked. Time got away—”

Rosa pressed her fingertips to his lips, silencing him.

“Can we . . . would you mind if we didn’t talk for a few minutes?”

He shook his head. His mind zeroing in on the warm, gentle pressure of her fingers. His heart torn by the sadness on her face

“Maybe we could just sit here together?”

Surprise at her unexpected request robbed him of his voice so he answered with a jerky nod.

Rosa put her journal and pen on the nightstand, then pushed aside the throw pillows and tissue box and scooted over to make room for him beside her.

Jeremy toed off his brown oxfords and joined her.

The mattress dipped under his weight, Rosa’s right hip and thigh pressing against his left side. He figured she’d slide farther away. Instead, she twisted to lay her head on the front of his shoulder.

Instinctively his arms wrapped around her. The need to comfort her, soothe the feelings he’d hurt, overwhelmed him. His fingers combed through the ends of her ponytail and he dropped a kiss on top of her head. She burrowed closer.

The next thing he knew, they were both skooching down until they lay side by side, Rosa’s head on his chest, one of her legs crooked over his. He tightened his hold on her, relishing the sensation of her soft curves molding against his body.

She traced a circle around one of his shirt buttons, dragged her finger down to the next one, leaving a trail of heat that he swore seared his skin. His pulse picked up speed, sending blood low in his body.

“Your heartbeat is fast,” Rosa murmured, pressing her open palm to his chest.

“Yeah, well, you do that to me.”

He felt her soft chuckle, her chest vibrating against his. The weight of her full breasts teased him with the need to touch them, taste them as he had their one night together.

As difficult as it was though, he had to rein in his desire for her. He couldn’t risk making another misstep with her.

Then Rosa leaned across him to press a kiss over his heart.

Jeremy reacted without thinking, rolling with her on the bed until she lay on her back. Propped up on his elbows, his lower body lay flush with hers, thighs to thighs, hips pressed to hips. His fast heartbeat no longer the only indication of how she affected him. Aroused him.

She cupped his face, gently caressed his cheeks, sliding her hands behind his head to pull him down for a kiss.

Their lips nipped, nothing more than a gentle brush back and forth. But it wasn’t enough. He tasted her lips with a light flick of his tongue and she opened for him.

The kiss deepened, tongues wrestling, brushing, tasting. She was honey and nectar and everything sweet, and he craved more.

Angling onto one elbow, he caressed her hip with his other hand.

Her fingers gently brushed along his neck, traced the shell of his ears with feathery light touches that drove him to the edge. He continued his own delicious exploration, snaking his hand under her sweater, up her trim waist, past her rib cage until he captured one of her breasts in his palm. Her nipple pebbled through her lace bra, and she broke their kiss on a gasp.

She gazed up at him, eyes lust-filled, lips red and swollen from his kisses, chest heaving with each rush of breath.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “I can’t tell you how badly I want you.”

Her eyes fluttered closed, an adorable blush stealing up her cheeks.

“You’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself. But I believe this . . .” She arched her pelvis, pressing his arousal oh-so-close to the entrance it desperately sought. “. . . gives away your little secret.”

Lust coursed through him, and he nearly groaned on the wave of desire that pulled him under.

Her cheeky response and her innocent blush combined to create the unique charm that made her irresistible.

He rocked his erection into her, quickly ducking down to cover her answering moan with an open-mouthed kiss. She devoured him in response. Matching his fevered kiss with her own. Stroke for stroke.

His fingers brushed the soft skin along the top edge of her lace bra, his thumb coming across the front clasp. In seconds, he had it undone. One bare breast spilled out, and he filled his palm with the precious weight, rolling the hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

She moaned deep in her throat and her hands moved to his back, kneading his muscles, before sliding lower to grab his ass. His arousal pulsed between them. Need quickly built, and he knew if they didn’t stop soon, he was in danger of exploding.

As much as he wanted to take what she seemed to be offering, a small, still sane part of his brain knew this—no matter how damn good it would be—wasn’t the answer to their problems. No matter how badly he wished it could be.

Reluctantly, he tore his lips from hers, twisting to fall onto his back beside her.

Shoulder to shoulder, neither one said a word, their heavy breathing the only sound in the room.

After several minutes had passed, Jeremy broke the silence. “I have to say, that was not the greeting I expected on my race to get here.”

“Me either.”

He chuckled at her surprised tone.

Their hands touched in between them, and Jeremy clasped hers, pleased when she linked her fingers with his. He raised their joined hands, bringing them to his lips for a chaste kiss.

“I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you this afternoon,” he said.

“I know.”

“I mean it. I hate that I let you down.”

“I know,” she repeated.

Jeremy propped up on his elbow to look at her. “How do you—”

“Because I know you, Jeremy.” She combed the fingers of her other hand through his hair, a gentle yet sad smile curving her lips. “You feel compelled to help others. That’s part of what I lo—like about you.”

Her smile dimmed. Determination jutted her jaw at the same time sadness filled her eyes.

“I’m happy that what kept you from coming here today is something that could bring you closer to your dad. That’s important.”

“Yes, it is, but so is this.” He squeezed her hand for emphasis. “Us.”

“I agree. I also know that we both have personal problems we need to figure out. You might be leaving again, for an extended time. And that’s okay,” she rushed on when he started to speak. “Like I said this morning, no rash decisions you might regret.”

“What makes you think I’ll regret anything?” he asked, stymied by her continued use of the word.

Rosa stared up at him intently, as if she was weighing what to say.

“What is it?” he urged.

With a little shake of her head, she rolled away from him and sat up. Her back to him, she reached under her sweater to clasp her bra, then stood and moved a few feet away to her dresser.

Jeremy slid across the bed. He swung his legs over the edge to sit facing her.

“Father Yosef and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon,” Rosa said.

Interesting was better than troublesome, which was what Jeremy had expected.

“After talking about the options the school board will consider, termination or wait and evaluate my year-end review, he asked about me.” Her gaze met Jeremy’s in the mirror’s reflection. “About us.”

“And I wasn’t there.” Guilt burned in his chest.

Rosa ducked her head. “Maybe it was for the best.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. Him not being with her was not “for the best.” Not in his mind anyway.

“I mean, Father Yosef’s not advocating having children out of wedlock,” Rosa continued. “But we talked about the sanctity of marriage. Of two people willingly making a loving commitment to each other. Like my parents did.”

Turning around, she motioned to the picture of Rey and Marta on her nightstand.

Jeremy gazed at the candid shot, taken while the couple was dancing. Cheek to cheek, smiles brimming with joy, they exuded happiness.

Man, how he wished he’d had a chance to know Rosa’s mom. Her dad had been an amazing person—full of life, his love for his family evident in his words and actions. Jeremy bet the same could be said for Marta Fernandez.

“I’m guessing your parents have that same loving commitment, too,” Rosa continued. “Am I right?”

He nodded, remembering how, as a teen, he’d noticed his parents often found little ways to express their love and appreciation for each other. Maybe it was Sherman bringing home fresh flowers because Jeremy’s mom liked having them around the house. Nature’s perfume, she used to say. Sometimes Sherman would even surprise her by special ordering a variety she couldn’t find locally. His mom would randomly bake Sherman’s favorite dessert, instead of asking the cook to take care of it. Then, she’d bring a piece of warm apple pie to his home office when he was up to his ears prepping for a case. Some nights, Jeremy would find his mom sitting in his dad’s office reading on the settee, just so they could be together.

He’d been away from home for so long, he hadn’t thought about those times. How they had shaped his view of the type of marriage he wanted. With Rosa.

“I understand the commitment, Rosa. I want to take care of you and the baby.”

“The thing is, I don’t need a caretaker.” Her thin shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug, a pained expression stamping her beautiful features. “I have family and friends who can help with that. But before we can discuss any type of future for us, I think you have to figure things out with Sherman. And your job. For yourself. Not for me. That won’t happen if you’re driving in and out of the city, stressing about not being here or racing to get somewhere on time.”

Jeremy leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. He dangled his hands between his legs and stared down at the cream-colored carpet. The ups and downs of the last twenty-four hours had him feeling like a rookie boxer dodging punches from the left, only to be hammered by one from the right.

“And I need to deal with the situation at Queen of Peace. On my own.”

A few minutes ago, they’d been ready to get as up close and personal as a couple could get. Too bad he’d been a gentleman and stopped things from progressing.

Now, she was giving him the stiff arm. Pushing him away, again.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his oxfords, one sole-side up where he’d kicked it in his haste earlier. Anger, rooted in hurt over her emotional about-face, raced through him with wildfire speed. Snagging his shoes with two fingers, he shoved his feet into them and shot to a stand.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Rosa. If I walk away, I’m irresponsible. If I push to stay with you, I’m being a selfish prick. You admire that I try to help others. But you want to do things on your own. It’s like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

Frustrated, he shoved a hand through his hair.

“That’s the thing, I don’t want you to feel damned. I don’t want that for either one of us.” Arms crossed in front of her chest in a defensive pose, Rosa’s eyes shone with unshed tears. “Dios mío, we said we were going to take things slow. Then you moved in with me and we started playing house together. In here, it’s all good.” She waved an arm through the air in a jerky move, indicating the room, her voice rising with anxiety. “I’m not denying there’s a strong attraction. But we can’t ignore the outside world.”

She shook her head, her dark ponytail swinging from side to side. Her full mouth thinned. He watched her swallow hard, pulling herself together at the same time her words were pulling him apart.

“Lilí’s here now, so I won’t be alone.” She spoke softly, but firmly. Her mind apparently already made up. “You should head back to the city, take care of things at home.”

Subtext: this wasn’t his home.

Even having anticipated her words, they still stung.

Suddenly he was tired of trying to be the good guy. Tired of her keeping him at a distance when they both knew how good they were together.

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, Rosa,” he warned, hands shoved in his pants pockets to keep from reaching for her. Frankly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug her or shake some sense into her.

“I’m not trying to get rid of you,” she answered sullenly.

“Yeah, well, you sure coulda fooled me.”

He spun away from her before she saw the hurt he could no longer hide.

“Jeremy, wait!”

He paused in the open doorway, refusing to look back at her. “I’m going downstairs to show your sister how to brew the different teas, explain why the hell there’s a trunk-full of olive jars in the pantry, and make sure she knows how to puree the chicken soup I made that’s in the fridge. That way, when Dolores calls me to check on you, I can tell her I left you in good hands. Just not mine.”