“Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here,” he drawls.

I sigh. Of all the places.

I ended up not heading to Clyde’s early, because nothing says “desperately seeking company” like going into work early. Instead, here I am at Perk, the local coffee shop, enjoying my mocha latte and reading about Josh Walker, when he shows up.

“Tucker, I’m oh so shocked you’re here,” I say, setting down my book and glancing up to catch him grinning.

“Was that sarcasm I detect, my dear sweet, sweet Maura?”

“Never,” I deadpan. I point to the chair across from me. “Sit. We have things to discuss.”

“Wait,” he peeks around the small classic coffee place and drops his voice to a whisper. “You mean you want to be seen with me in public? Wow. This must be my lucky day.” I suppress the urge to roll my eyes at him as he takes a seat. “So, what are these super important things we have to talk about?”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him quietly.

“Huh? I didn’t quite catch that,” he says, cupping his hand around his ear and tilting his dirty blond head toward me.

When I don’t respond immediately, he peeks over at me. I narrow my eyes teasingly. “Oh, I think you heard me just fine, Tucker Bentley.”

He chuckles and sits back in his chair. “Apology accepted. Are you feeling any better? Rae told me she talked to you.”

I momentarily freak out for fear that Tucker knows I’m about to break Tanner’s heart, but then I check myself because I know Rae would never betray me like that.

“A little bit.”

He eyes me, and I know he’s searching for cracks in my expertly placed mask. His eyebrows scrunch together and I know he’s found them. Thankfully, he ignores them and moves on.

“What are you doing out this early? Are you not working today?” he asks.

“You mean you don’t know? I was so sure you knew my work schedule.”

Tucker smiles and shakes his head at me. “We’re a bit feisty today, huh? That’s okay. Two can play that game, Maura.” He mumbles the last part.

“I don’t work until later, actually. Had to get out of the house.” I tap my temple and say, “Too much going on up here.”

“Ah, the brain. Mankind’s own worst enemy. You’ll drive yourself mad living up there all the time.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“You want another coffee? I’m gonna go grab me one,” he offers.

“Sure. I’ll have—”

“A mocha latte, no whip, cool temp,” he supplies.

Because that’s not creepy. I almost want to change my order to spite him, but in the two years I’ve been coming here, I’ve never gotten anything else.

“How in the hell did you know that?”

He shrugs. “I’ve been in here a time or two while you’ve ordered.”

I watch as he walks away, puzzled by his confession because I’ve never once noticed him in here. And I come almost daily.

Huh. Guess I am stuck in my head that much.

Picking my book back up, I immediately get sucked back into the tangled relationship between Josh Walker and Ember Howard.

“Full Measures?” Tucker questions as he places a new coffee cup in front of me. “Any good?”

I hold up my finger to signify “one second” and finish reading a beautiful scene taking place at the hockey rink. Because you don’t interrupt a reader. Ever.

Sighing over how heartbreakingly beautiful these two are together, I finally set my book back down, a little sad I had to stop reading but also wanting to talk to Tucker a little more.

“I didn’t know people still did that,” Tucker comments.

I purse my lips and tilt my head because I’m confused by what he’s saying. “Do what?”

“Read actual books. You hardly ever see it anymore. Everyone is so tech focused.”

“I know. It hurts my heart. Nothing beats the smell of a new paperback book.”

“Agreed,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. He motions his head toward the book. “I didn’t know you were a reader. Is it good?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I tell him. “Thanks to Rae, I’m an avid reader. It’s one of the few things we have in common.”

“You’re best friends and you don’t like the same things? Hudson has mentioned a few times how alike you two are.”

“Books and music—two extremely important things—are about it. She likes raunchy comedies and sappy romances while I like indie flicks and anything to do with superheroes. I dig clothes, and she’s a bit fashion-challenged. I like cats, and she’s more of a dog person. We’re mostly opposite from one another, but it works for us.”

“Huh,” he says, still sounding a bit perplexed by it. “Well, that’s good, I guess.”

“Do you like romance?” I ask, waving my book so he knows what I’m talking about.

Tucker shakes his head. “Not books, but I have an appreciation for romance in general, being a musician and all.”

“Fair enough. To answer your other question, yes, it’s good. Damn good, actually. I think Josh Walker might be my new main squeeze.”

“What’s it about?”

I frown. “A military brat who has her world blown apart and falls in love with a stud hockey player.”

“Typical everyday life then, huh? Gotcha.”

“Something like that,” I mumble, because I wanted that. Or at least something similar. I push those thoughts away. “Anyway, what are you doing out and about? You always come here? Or here stalking me again?”

He shoots me a look for teasing him. “Lunch break at the shop. I don’t usually leave, but I needed a pick-me-up today. So, Perk it is.”

“You guys staying busy over there?”

“Definitely. Hudson’s still in his honeymoon phase with Rae, so it’s all sunshine and shit around the shop. She stopped in to pick him up for lunch.”

“It’s good to see her happy. She deserves it.”

“They deserve it. They work well together. I could tell they were meant to be from the minute she stepped foot inside Jacked Up. Match made in heaven, those two. It’s almost sickening.”

“And here I was sure I was the only one who thought that. Sickening, but cute.”

Suddenly, Tucker leans across the table, and I automatically lean in toward him, no questions asked. Odd.

He drops his voice to a barely audible whisper. “You’ll never get me to admit it out loud ever again, but it is cute.”

I laugh because that wasn’t at all what I was expecting.

“I’m telling everyone you said that.”

“And I’ll deny it until the end of time,” he says, leaning back in his chair and giving me an almost wicked smile.

That was hot.

Shit. That was wrong of me to say. Or think. Shit.

Did I inadvertently admit to myself Tucker was hot? Or that his smile was hot? Either way, I’ll pretend it didn’t cross my mind.

Dear Brain, move on. Love, Maura.

“So, Maura, are you busy tomorrow night?” Tucker asks.

Wait, what?

“No?”

“Why is that a question?” He laughs. “Anyway, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come to Mic’s? I have a small show tomorrow. The whole gang will be there.”

“Ah, yes. Rae mentioned it last week but I honestly forgot. I had sweet plans that consisted of doing absolutely nothing tomorrow.”

“But now that you’ve remembered you’ll be there, right?”

I shrug again. “I guess I could swing it.”

He frowns at my answer and leans forward again. “Come on. Be sociable, Maura. You can’t sulk forever.” Tucker leans back and taps the table once. “You’re coming. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Conjuring up all those manners my mother had my nannies teach me, I sit up straighter and firmly say, “No thanks. That won’t be necessary.”

Tucker doesn’t budge. “Necessary or not, it’s happening because I don’t trust you not to bail. Again.”

He’d be referring to last month when I was invited to go watch him play, said I’d be there, and didn’t go. It’s nothing against Tucker’s singing, because that, my friends, is phenomenal. It’s me not feeling up to faking “it” for several hours more than I typically have to.

“Again, thank you for the offer, but I’m sure I can make it on my own.”

“I’m sure you can too, but you won’t. Not without a push,” he says. Leaning back across the table, he murmurs, “You don’t have to wear your mask. Leave it at home.”

I suck in a sharp breath because fuck. He’s good. Too good. How in the hell does he see this shit?

“I’m a musician, Maura. Seeing into hearts is my specialty.”

My heart stops briefly. The look he’s giving me isn’t smug or defiant. He’s not challenging me to a game of wits or trying to get the upper hand here. He’s only showing me the cards he’s playing with, letting me know he can see through the bullshit shield I throw out to the world daily.

But little does Tucker know, I don’t cave that easily.

Now it’s my turn to lean across the table, getting my face as close to his as possible without being inappropriate. I look him in his beautiful, golden eyes. “Yeah?” I say. “Well I’m a Doughers, Tucker. Wearing a mask is mine.”

Grabbing my book and coffee, I walk away from Perk while my mask is still in place because there’s no way I’ll let Tucker know how much that rocked me.

* * *

I walk into Clyde’s an hour early, relieved to see that Perry is seated at the bar. I walk over and rest my chin on his shoulder. He automatically sets his head against mine.

“Your vibe is off today, dear. What gives?”

“I love that you know me like that, Per. I need that today.”

“Maura, you’ve been in my life for the last ten years. I know you better than you think. Now, what gives?”

I sigh and sit down on the stool next to him. “Nothing gives. That’s my problem.”

I watch as he takes a sip of his soda and then turns to face me for the first time. He’s got a huge shiner on his eye.

“Holy shit balls, Perry! What the hell happened?”

Waving me off, he gives me a cocky grin. “You know me. Mouthy little shit.”

I smile at him. “Hitting on taken girls again?”

He shrugs. “She was flirting back, that’s all I’m sayin’.” I laugh, and Perry automatically grins at me. “I love that me getting my ass whooped makes you so happy, babe. You made my damn heart skip a beat.”

Shoving his shoulder, I tell him, “Shut it or I’ll make the other eye match.”

Perry scoffs. “As if a Doughers would ever throw a punch.”

My newly—and momentarily—lifted mood deflates at the mention of my last name.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but my name is one hell of a burden to bear. You’d think that because my parents are on the boards of multiple high-society-backed charities and throw dozens of “good deed” events a year, it wouldn’t be one, but it is. It so is.

Because being a Doughers means being flawless. It means constantly being on point and having your “happy face” on at all times. You’re never allowed to be sad—at least not in public. You’re never allowed to look anything but your absolute best. And you’re never, ever, allowed to cave under pressure. We must always be “on,” no matter the situation.

So that’s what I do because I’m a Doughers. I’m the daughter of two of the richest people in the state of Massachusetts. I’m the sole beneficiary of millions of dollars. I’m the next in line to host those dozens of yearly events and be the woman in society everyone wants to be.

However, what people don’t know is how hard it is to be that person. How grueling it is to always be on point, to always be perfect. It’s exhausting, tiresome. I would know because that’s all I’ve ever been: Maura Ann Doughers, daughter of John and Norah, perfectionist.

But that’s not me. Not even close.

“I’m sorry,” Perry says quietly. “I know you hate that.”

I give him a tight-lipped smile and shake my head once. “No biggie, Per. It’s my burden to carry.”

He clears his throat and takes another drink. “Why are you here so early?”

“Geez. Does the whole world know my schedule?”

“What?” he asks in obvious confusion.

“Nothing,” I say. “I thought I worked early, but it turns out I don’t.”

He buys my lie and signals for another drink. “You going to Mic’s tomorrow? You hardly get Saturdays off. You gonna spend this one at home alone again?”

I shrug. “I’m not sure yet. Tucker seems to think he’s picking me up at seven, but I haven’t decided if I’m going to open the door or not.”

Perry laughs a little. “Yeah? You should. Tucker’s a good bloke.”

“Bloke?” I question, because Perry most definitely shouldn’t be using the word bloke.

“What? I watched this porn the other day and they kept saying it. Thought I’d try it out.”

“Yeah? And how’s that going for you?”

Perry turns toward me fully and points to his battered face. “You see this black eye? That’s about how well it’s going.”

* * *

I’m about three hours into my seven-hour shift when I realize I haven’t heard from Tanner tonight. I double-tap his name and listen as the line connects while I head through the kitchen and out back to The Alley, which is a small enclosed patio for employees.

“Hello?” My ears are met with a bunch of voices talking and a song that sounds like Jay Z in the background. “Babe?” I hear Tanner say.

“Tanner? I can hardly hear you.”

“Hang on,” he says. I stay on the line and strain to hear what’s going on in the background. “I’ll be back, Lauren. It’s louder in here than I thought and I gotta take this call.”

“Hurry back. You’ll be missed.”

My heart starts pounding hard because the voice that spoke most definitely did not belong to a man. And it wasn’t a friendly “you’ll be missed” either. Whoever that is was flirting, and she was doing it well. With my boyfriend.

Calm yourself. He’s probably out with buddies drinking. It’s no big deal.

And then I feel guilty for jumping to shitty conclusions when I don’t think I have the right to do so, considering what I’ll be doing the next time I see him.

I mentally give myself a good slap as Tanner comes back on the line.

“Sorry, babe. I’m up at Wayne’s with Sergeant Daag and Benson playing DD. I would have called earlier but I knew you’d be working.”

I let all the unnecessary worry flow out of me because the two people he’s with are the last two people he could cheat with. Sergeant Daag is a man, and Sergeant Benson is an out-and-proud lesbian.

See, Brain? Told you so.

Wait a second. Who’s Lauren?

“It’s okay. I got a chance to get a break and realized I hadn’t heard from you today. Figured I’d try to catch you before you went to bed. I know you have duty tomorrow morning,” I tell him. Taking a deep breath, I ask him a question that’s bound to make me sound like a jackass. “Who’s Lauren?”

He laughs at me. Tanner actually laughs. And he sounds so much like the Tanner I fell in love with. “Maura Ann, is that jealousy I hear in your voice?”

I wince. “Maybe? Which is dumb because I have no legitimate reason to be jealous.”

“Bullshit. You have every right to be jealous.” As far as he knows. “You’re my girl, Maurie. You get to be as jealous as you want. Plus, it’s hot.”

I laugh lightly because only Tanner—both versions of him—would find that attractive. He can be such an ass.

“Maura?”

“Yeah?” I answer.

“Lauren is Benson’s girlfriend. She’s flirty with everyone but one hundred percent committed to Benson. I promise you have nothing to worry about.”

I let out a deep breath and relax. I am going to break up with him, but I do still care about him, and he’s still a good friend. He’s the guy I handed my virginity to. I don’t want him to cheat. Our friendship would be ruined, and that’s the last thing I want to happen.

“Good. That’s…good.”

“I miss you,” he says quietly.

I grin at his admission. I must have hit the jackpot tonight because the more this conversation goes on, the more we start to sound like our old selves. It almost makes me not want to break it off. But all it does is make my heart hurt because these moments I have with Tanner are so few and far between now. My heart aches for what once was with him, what’s now too far gone.

“I miss you too, Tanner. More than you know,” I tell him, not only referring to him but to us—or who we used to be.

“Your ten minutes are up,” he tells me. “And I’ve gotta get back in there to watch Daag. He’s on the prowl tonight. No telling what trouble he’s gonna get into.”

“Daag is a fun drunk.” I laugh. “I’ll get back to work and you get back to babysitting. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Maurie. I love you.”

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “You too,” I say, and then I end the call.

Closing my eyes, I lean back against the wood panel and try to calm down, because I just realized how much harder this is going to be than I originally thought.

The idea of losing Tanner’s friendship terrifies me. We have one of those bonds that you know you need in your life. Even if we’re not a good couple, there’s no denying that part of us.

But now, I’m scared we’re going to lose that.

And it will be all my fault.