Chapter 16

Victoria

 

 

 

With each ticking of the clock from some antique that I couldn’t readily pick out in the apartment, I felt what hold I had on my sanity slip a little more.

This was the worst night of my entire life. My sister was missing and only God knew what kind of shape they would find her in. I knew she was still alive, though, because if she was dead, I suspected I would feel a part of myself fade from existence with her. She was my other half, and I would be only half alive if something took her away from me forever.

On top of that, guilt swirled inside me after seeing both Adrian’s wife and son. Fuck, it had taken everything in me not to hug Theo when he had been so sweet to me earlier. I had wanted to bundle him up and keep him as my own, fuck the consequences.

That little boy was the son of the man I loved. If things had been different, if my body wasn’t constantly at war with itself, I could have given him a child, too.

No, I quickly scolded myself as that last thought flitted through my mind. No, I couldn’t have given Adrian a child, even if my body could have handled that kind of stress. He wasn’t free to be with me. We couldn’t be a family because he already fucking had one.

The sound of the elevator doors opening had me jumping at the suddenness of it. My heart stopped in my chest as I waited for whomever was inside to step into the apartment.

Don’t be Adrian. Don’t be Adrian. Don’t. Be. Adrian.

This time, my heart wasn’t even trying to argue with my head. Not after the whipping it had taken from the sight of Klara and Theo.

My palms grew sweaty, and I felt a little light-headed as Cristiano finally stepped forward. At the sight of my brother, I felt the control I had so desperately tried to hold on to all evening begin to crumble. I hadn’t heard a word from him or anyone else about Scarlett, and now he was there … but Scarlett wasn’t.

“Where is she?” I whispered, feeling what little strength I had in my legs begin to leave me.

Cristiano’s eyes went around the room, going straight to Anya who was still on her end of the couch with her phone laying on her thigh. Even through the tears that were starting to blind me, I could see something flash between them like wild fire. Then his eyes found me and his strides ate up the distance between us.

He caught my upper arms as I felt myself beginning to fall. “She’s okay,” he murmured against my temple as he pressed a kiss there. “A few bruises and a bad headache, but she should be home from the hospital by tomorrow. Ciro is with her.”

Relief made me feel even more weak, and I fell against him, knowing he wouldn’t let me fall.

The tears flooded down my cheeks like rivers as I buried my face in his chest. The sobs took over then, bruising my insides from the force of them. I couldn’t stop it. Couldn’t fucking breathe.

I sobbed in relief and with the continued pain that was suffocating me.

Scarlett was okay. She was safe. Ciro was with her. I knew, as long as she was with him, he would slaughter anyone who even looked like they would touch a hair on my twin’s head. She had him, and she didn’t need me.

Instead of that realization stinging like I had thought it would, all I felt was relief. Scarlett had Ciro, and she didn’t need me.

If she didn’t need me, then I didn’t have to be there. I didn’t have to be so close to Adrian and constantly at war with myself with how much I both hated and loved him.

“I can’t stay here,” I whispered as I forced myself to calm, even if just enough that my body was no longer destroying itself with the sobs that had already left me physically aching. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He pulled back just enough to look down at me, concern darkening his brown eyes. “Okay, I’ll take you home, then.”

“No.” I shook my head and wiped the back of my hand over my running nose. “No, I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to be here. In New York. I can’t be this close to Adrian. To his family.”

He went completely still at the mention of the Russian’s name, and I could feel a coldness filling him. “What the fuck does Volkov have to do with this?”

“Everything,” I whispered, meeting his gaze without flinching. “I’m in love with him.”

There was no use lying about it, and I needed him to understand why I wanted to leave. Why I had to leave, to put as much distance between me and my Russian wolf as possible.

Cristiano blew out a fierce curse then carried me over to the couch where he placed me on the cushions then stood over both me and Anya, glaring down at both of us.

“Did you know about this?” he demanded, pointed an accusing finger at the other woman.

“Oh, don’t get all righteous with me. I warned her off him. She didn’t listen. I’m not her babysitter or her mother. She’s a grown-ass woman. She can do whatever the hell she wants. That she was messing around with the wrong damn man seems to be a habit she and I have in common.”

That last shot had his jaw clenching and something hot flashed out of his eyes at her. She just met his gaze with a glare of her own, seeming completely unafraid of his temper, appeared more bored than anything. I knew then and there that she was going to be my new best friend.

“We are going to talk about this later,” he half-growled at her. She only rolled her eyes.

“We aren’t doing anything later if you’re going to keep using that tone with me. I don’t mind pulling out good ol’ Bob later. He kept me company before you came along, and I’m sure he will do the same long after you’re gone.” She stood then, picking up both our empty coffee mugs. “Talk to your sister, Cristiano, then get lost. Victoria stays here with me.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. “You expect me not to even bat an eye that my baby sister has been fucking around with your goddamn brother? He’s married, for fuck’s sake. And you knew about it and didn’t even try to tell me.”

“It wasn’t my secret to share with you,” she told him, moving toward the kitchen. “As I said, talk then go. I’m done tonight.”

“Fuuuck,” he groaned under his breath, but I still heard him.

Before I could really make sense of what was going on between those two, he crouched down in front of me. “Victoria—”

“I didn’t sleep with him,” I muttered, wanting my brother to at least know I hadn’t turned into the slut I suspected he thought I had become.

That had his jaw clenching again.

“But you love him?”

I nodded.

“You didn’t know about his wife? His kid?”

“I only found out about the wife a few days ago,” I confessed. “And his son, I met tonight.”

“Fucking hell.” He cupped my face with one hand. “Are you okay?”

My trembling chin was probably answer enough for him, but I still told him the truth. “Not even a little.”

“What can I do to help you?” He asked the one question I knew he would, the one I had needed him to ask.

“I-I can’t be here anymore. Not just here in this building, but here in New York.” I sucked in a deep breath then swallowed hard. “I want to l-leave, Cristiano. I want to go to Chicago and stay with Dante. Just for a little while so I can figure out what I want to do next. I don’t know. Maybe I will go back to Sicily to be with Nona. All I do know is that I will die if I have to spend another day this close to A-Adrian.”

He didn’t immediately give in and tell me he would make it happen. I could see the wheels working in his head, but for once, I couldn’t even begin to guess at what he was thinking.

“Please, Cristiano. Please.” The last word came out a broken whisper, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing once again.

He gave me a single, curt nod then straightened to his full height.

“Anya,” he called out. “I’m going to have the jet readied for Victoria by morning.” He turned his head when she came back into the living room. “I would very much appreciate it if you would go with her.”

“To babysit?” she asked with a raised brow.

“So that I know you are safe,” my brother told her with a new tone of voice as he stroked his fingers over her long, dark hair.

Right before my eyes, Anya seemed to melt into him.

“I can take care of myself,” she complained, but there was no real argument in her tone.

His lashes lowered, seeming to block out everything but the woman in front of him. I had to look away. There were so many emotions pouring off them both it made me feel like a voyeur to watch.

“I know that, tesoro. But I would feel so much better about Jr. being loose in my city if you were in Chicago.”