Chapter 21

Victoria

Present Day

 

 

 

I blinked back the memories of the last several weeks and clenched my hands together as Adrian drove through the darkened city. It was hard to believe that it had only been a matter of weeks since all that had happened. It had felt like it had taken several lifetimes to reach this moment, and each of those lifetimes hadn’t been kind to me.

I had missed him so damn much. Had ached for him every single night.

I knew it was wrong to still want him, to love him as deeply as I still did but there was no turn off switch for love once it was turned on.

The ride to his house took just as long as it would have for me to get home, only in the opposite direction. Adrian was quiet while he drove, not even turning on the radio. Therefore, the car was silent except for the rumble of the engine, and with the alcohol still working through my body, I nearly drifted off to sleep.

As soon as he slowed and I heard a gate opening, my eyes widened. The house I had grown up in had over ten bedrooms and sat on over thirty acres of fenced in property in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the entire state. This house was just as big, if not more so. I couldn’t see much of the grounds, except for the courtyard and driveway, but what I could see was fenced and probably just as secure as my father’s house.

As he drove through the gates and around behind the house to park in one of the eight individual bayed garage, I spotted at least six men in bulky jacketed suits that did nothing to hide the fact they were packing some serious ammo underneath.

“How long have you had this house?” I asked after the garage door closed behind us.

He didn’t immediately move to get out. Instead, he turned toward me, his eyes eating up the sight of me. Mine were just as glued to him.

He was dressed in a plain, black T-shirt and a pair of jeans. The watch on his right wrist was worth almost as much as his car, but it didn’t distract from the ink on his hands. The ink that told people how much time he had done in prison.

The letters волк on four of the fingers on his left hand meant wolf in Russian, and that was exactly what he was. A predator who had me in his hungry sights. But he should have known I was no one’s prey, least of all his.

“I’ve had this place for about ten years,” he finally told me.

His answer surprised me.

“But your family doesn’t live here?” If they did, I was going to vomit. I wouldn’t be able to keep the bile down. The thought of being in the same house as his wife—his beautiful wife who had given him a son—made my stomach churn. This was the kind of house that deserved a family living inside its four walls. To fill it with love and laughter.

His jaw tensed for a moment before he finally shook his head. “Klara and Theo have the apartment in the city. They don’t come here. Ever. I wouldn’t be against Theo eventually living here with us, but Klara will never be allowed past the gate.”

“But she’s your … wife.” The word felt like it cut my throat on its way out, but I swallowed the slicing pain and held on to my purse a little tighter.

“On paper.”

His answer only confused me.

I shifted away from him, pressing my clutch to my chest. I didn’t want to know about his marriage.

“Are we going to sit in the car all night?”

Adrian’s lips twitched with amusement at my snippy tone. “I’m just savoring having you here. And I accomplished it without even a drop of blood being spilled.”

I lowered my eyes to my lap. “Anya’s a really good friend. I don’t know what I would have done the last few weeks without her.”

“Then I’m glad you’ve had her.” He shifted then and opened the driver’s door.

I reached for my own door, but when he shot me a stern look, I dropped my hand. In a matter of seconds, he was out of the car and around to my side, opening the door for me. When he offered me one of his inked hands, I hesitated, knowing how my body would respond to even that innocent of a touch.

“I have all night, kotyonok.”

Keeping my purse close, I gave him my right hand and stepped out of the car. As soon as I was out, I pulled my hand away, hating that I could still feel him like a ghost caressing my entire arm.

If I thought he would let me get far, I was wrong. He touched the small of my back as he guided me into the house. I held myself as stiff as I could as we entered a side door through the garage that took us into the back of the house.

A man dressed in the same bulky jacketed suit as those patrolling the grounds outside stood beside the door. He gave Adrian a curt nod before his gaze flickered to me, but there was no surprise in his gaze. They were cold, completely emotionless. Just like the men who worked for my father.

From outside, I thought I heard the rumblings of thunder, and wished I was home so I could watch the rain and lightning. Although, my mind was full of its own storm right then.

As we walked through the house, I fell a little in love with it. It was huge and beautiful, and if it had been my home, I knew exactly how I would want to decorate it.

But it wasn’t my home. And Adrian wasn’t mine. Neither belonged to me, and they never would.

That realization cut through layers of tissue and bone, straight down to my very soul, killing it a little more.

Upstairs, he guided me into a huge master bedroom with a gigantic four poster bed. The duvet was plush and a dark masculine color that suited Adrian.

My heels sank deeply into the carpet, and I kicked them off before I could take more than a handful of steps inside.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, watching me from across the room where he was leaning back against the now closed door, as if he thought I might try to make a break for it if he didn’t block it.

“No, thank you.” I placed my clutch on a vanity table that looked oddly out of place in such a masculine room, as if it had been placed there recently.

For me? Or did it belong to Klara?

I didn’t know if I really wanted an answer to that particular question, so I pressed my lips closed. I was exhausted and needed to check my glucose levels, but I didn’t want to do it in front of him. It made me feel vulnerable, less of a woman. My illness was something I had learned to live with, but I didn’t want him to see how much it controlled my life.

“How about a drink?”

“No.” I pushed my hair back from my face and forced myself to finally look up at him. “Actually, I’m tired. I would really like to just go to bed.”

He pushed away from the door. “Of course, kotyonok.”

As he walked toward me, I backed up. “Alone.”

His eyes darkened, but he kept coming toward me. “No. In our home, you will sleep in our bed … with me.”

I put my hands on my hips, glaring up at him, which was a significantly longer way up now that I was out of my heels. “This isn’t my home, Adrian. It should be where your family lives, and I’m not your family.”

His face tightened at my words, but he still didn’t stop. Reaching me, he lifted his hands, bringing one to my hip and the other to my neck. His thumb bit firmly into my flesh, forcing me to keep my chin lifted so he could look down into my face. “You are my everything.”

“No.” The word was almost moaned out. What he just said touched a part of my heart that wished with everything inside me that it could be true. But it wasn’t.

“Yes,” he growled.

He skimmed his thumb along my jaw, trying to melt my resolve, but I couldn’t give in.

I lifted my hands, pressing them against his hard chest, and tried to push him away. He was unmovable. Under my fingertips, though, I could feel how fast his heart was pounding.

I lowered my lashes, trying to protect my thoughts from his watchful eyes. “I need the bathroom.” I wasn’t giving in; I just needed a moment to myself. Needed to catch my breath and gather my scattered thoughts, which I couldn’t do with him holding me so possessively like he was right then. In his arms, I felt like I belonged to him.

He pressed his lips to the center of my forehead before he seemed to force himself to step back. “Take your time, kotyonok.”

On shaky legs, I grabbed my purse and went into the bathroom. Once the door was safely shut behind me, I locked it then slowly slid down it until I was sitting on the cold, marble floor.

I pulled out my phone, along with my blood glucose tester and started to test my blood even as I hit connect on Anya’s name.

It rang half a dozen times before she finally answered.

“Are you finally home? I was starting to worry,” she said as way of greeting.

“Anya, I’m not home,” I whispered.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Adrian followed me. He stopped my cab and put me in his car. Now I’m in his house.”

My tester beeped, and I looked down at it with a groan. Shit, I was going to have to take a shot. Perfect. Not that I wasn’t expecting it. I could tell my levels were too high.

“Wait, you mean the apartment, right?”

“No.” I pulled out my bottle of insulin and a new syringe. Filling it with my usual dose, I grabbed an alcohol swab then pulled up my skirt up past my waist to find a good place in my lower belly for the shot. “I mean his house.”

“But he never goes there.” I couldn’t tell if she was talking to me or herself.

After the dose of insulin, I leaned back and closed my eyes. “He said it was our house.” I couldn’t help the quiver in my voice. Those words had equally shattered and touched my heart, because I wished they could be true.

“What are you going to do? Should I call Cristiano?”

I gripped the back of my neck with my left hand, squeezing it as a tension headache began to throb at my temples. “No,” I whispered. “I don’t want to involve him.” Even though I knew he was going to freak when he and Papa found out I wasn’t home.

I didn’t know what Adrian was going to do about my family, but I didn’t want to call my brother and beg for help. Again. I needed to learn to start handling things on my own.

And deep down, I wanted to see what happened with Adrian. Wanted to see what his plan was to keep me in a house that he kept saying was ours. Maybe I was turning into a masochist, because I mostly just wanted to sleep in that huge-ass bed with him tonight.

However, my insulin wasn’t going to last more than a day, less than that if my glucose levels didn’t stay down.

“I’m going to need more insulin,” I told her as I packed up my things and put them carefully back in my clutch.

Anya groaned. “What am I supposed to do about that? Just tell him, so he can get you what you need.”

“I’m not ready to tell him.” I wasn’t ready to dive into the deep end where my illness was concerned. Wasn’t ready to show him just how vulnerable and weak I really was. I wanted him to continue to think I was perfect.

Just for a little longer.

“Please, Anya. I’ll call Allegra, and she can put together an overnight bag with everything I need. Pick it up and drop it off for me.” I leaned my head back against the door, feeling chilled, but not ready to leave the bathroom.

“Fine,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “I’ll do what I can. He might not let me past the gate, though.”

“Then just leave it with one of the guards. I don’t really care as long as I get what I need.”

“You’re going to have to eventually tell him, Victoria.”

“Eventually isn’t right now,” I snapped, then sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m exhausted, and I still have to deal with Adrian. This isn’t easy for me.”

There was a pause on her end, before she finally spoke again. “I know, myshka. Just don’t leave it until you need help and he doesn’t know what the fuck to do.”

Before I could speak again, she hung up. Then I just sat there for a while.

She was right, but I still wasn’t ready to tell him.

After taking care of my used syringe, I washed my hands. Finding a washcloth, I washed my face, then just sat down on the closed toilet seat. A good twenty minutes had passed, and I knew I had to leave the sanctuary of the bathroom soon or he was going to come in for me. The locked door wouldn’t stop him for long.

A hard knock on the door only confirmed that a few minutes later. “Victoria?”

I pushed my hair back from my face and forced myself to stand. Crossing to the door, I opened it a few inches.

Adrian stood on the other side, his face dark with concern as his eyes scanned over my face.

“Are you okay?”

“I just needed a little bit to myself.” Not a lie. I had used the time to get myself under some semblance of control, to prepare my heart for when I actually crawled into bed with this man.

“Are you finished? Will you come to bed now?” His voice had lowered, and the look that filled his dark eyes right then made me shiver with anticipation.

I swallowed hard, reminding myself that he was married. That he had a family and I wasn’t a part of it. If I went to bed with him, if I let him touch me as my body ached to be touched, then I was letting him make me his mistress.

“Only to sleep.”

His face didn’t change as he nodded. “Of course. Sleep only, unless you say otherwise.”

That wasn’t the least bit reassuring.