I spin the chair over and place it on top of the table. That’s the last one of them. Karl locks the front door and throws his towel over his shoulder and makes his way to the back of the diner.

I need this today. I’ve been feeling shitty lately. I keep blaming myself for what happened.

If only I was able to run a little faster. If only I would have suggested to go into the tent. None of this would have happened.

If only…

I rub the side of my temples and sit down at the table. Karl sits down next to me and grabs his burger and takes a bite. I watch him for a moment and I lose my appetite to eat even though I haven’t eaten anything all day.

I hate that Rose won’t see us. Blake told me about his unpleasant meeting with Meredith Collins. That Rose doesn’t want to see either of us.

I can’t accept that. I miss her touch and her voice. I miss being cuddled up next to her. Every time I close my eyes and lie in bed, I think of her.

“Eat. You need the energy if you’re going back to work tomorrow,” Karl grumbles, his pudgy fingers grabbing a handful of fries and stuffing them into his mouth.

I’d taken a leave of absence the last week. I let them know that I’d come into work tomorrow. And I couldn’t have been happier. I needed to get out of the house and away from my thoughts. Away from lying in bed and thinking of her.

“I’m not hungry,” I lie. I needed to clear my mind after Meredith, Rose’s stepmother called and told us to stay away from her daughter.

“Bullshit. Max told me that you’ve barely eaten in the week that you’ve been home.” He pushes the plate closer to my side, the smell of the burger making my stomach grumble. I pick it up and turn it around like a strange object. I take a bite of it and chew slowly. I need to get Karl off my back for now. Karl grabs the remote and turns the TV to a news channel.

“How much longer will your daughter be in the mental hospital?” A reporter shoves a microphone into Mayor Collins’ face.

“She’s not in a mental hospital,” he spits out and gives the reporter a dirty look.  If I were him I would be fighting the urge to whack the reporter in the face. Nobody talks about Rose that way. “She’s staying out of the public spotlight for now.”

“Is it true that she’s a sexual deviant?”

Mayor Collins grabs the microphone out of the reporter’s hand and throws it down the steps of the courthouse. There’s a quick zoom on the reporter’s face and back to Mayor Collins as he gets into his black limo. The reporter runs over and grabs his microphone off the ground.

“And there you have it. Mayor Collins is not feeling very talkative these days.” He nods his head and the camera turns to the limo turning the corner.

“Can you turn this shit off?” I mumble under my breath. I don’t want to see any of it. I’m tired of all the shit that I’ve read in the newspapers and that’s been rebroadcasted on the gossip sites. All the names that they’re calling her. Names that no one should ever be called.

Karl turns the TV off and looks at me. “Have you tried reaching out to her?”

He can’t be serious.

“Of course I tried, but her phone line has been disconnected. It also doesn’t help that I have no idea where she is.” I take a bigger bite of my burger and stuff my mouth. I don’t want to say anything that I’ll regret. I can feel the anger surging inside of me. “And her bitch stepmother won’t let us get closer to her.”

“Is that it?” Karl picks his plate off the table and puts it in the sink behind the bar. He grabs a glass from the sink and wipes it down with his towel, all the while looking up at me. “Is that all you’re going to do?”

My arm flies across the table and sends my plate into the air. It crashes to the floor several feet away, sending jagged pieces of ceramic everywhere.

“What else can I do?” I yell and bang my fist onto the table. I heave my body up and march up to Karl, his face only inches from mine. He doesn’t flinch. He stares me down and doesn’t stop cleaning the shot glass.

I take a breath and give in. Give into every little thing that I’ve been feeling for the last couple weeks.

“This is all my fault,” I mumble and drop down into a seat at the bar. “If I’d just been more careful, none of this would have happened. I would still be with her.” My nail digs at the wood that gives way at the end of the bar.

Karl places his hand on my back and I look up at him. He smiles down at me. “You can’t do anything about what’s already happened. That’s out of your control now. What you can do is decide how you’re going to move forward. What you’re going to do to get her back.” His fingers dig into my back and I nod along to his words.

He’s right. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I need to make the next move. I need to show Rose that I don’t care about anything else but her. To show her what she means to me.

I can’t imagine the shit that she’s been going through. The fallout of being with Max and I. Dealing with everything must have been harder on her than Max and I could ever realize. The pressure must have been enormous.

It’s time that I stop all this moping around and get her back. Show her how much she means to the two of us.