Think Big

I paced around my room. I called Mindy but I immediately hung up. She can’t know. No one can know.

Why am I such a screw up?

All I had to do was come to Chicago, have a decent relationship with my stepbrother, find a job and then move out. That’s it. Nothing else.

I walked across my room for the 100th time.

What if something bad happens and I get kicked out or what if we get into a fight and he doesn’t give me that connection for Prime Design?

I stopped.

What if my mom finds out.

Oh no. Oh, no. No. No.

Everything is going to go wrong and I’m going to be jobless, homeless and family-less. Or. I stopped.

What if this was supposed to happen? Maybe my life is going right.

I tried to think on the bright side for a little bit. I thought about what had happened a few hours ago. Nate’s wet body on top of mine as he took control of me. My panties are still drenched from the passion.

I sat on my bed. I can’t believe I called him a sicko yesterday and then today… I touched my lips.

But I wasn’t calling him a sicko. I was calling myself that.

Why didn’t it feel... wrong?

I could still feel his lips pressed against mine. I let out a faint moan. My body absorbed the memories for a millisecond, but I needed to think.

Okay, what do I do? What happens now?

I laid in bed wishing I could just stay trapped in my room forever. My stomach growled. Shit, I forgot to eat today. I didn’t get a chance to eat the pancakes I made because I was so nervous about the interview. But mostly I had been worried about Nate and if he would forgive me.

I smiled to myself, I guess he forgave me.

I heard plates being placed on the table.

I paced around my room again. He must think I’m an idiot. I couldn’t even talk to him after he got on top of me. My heart stopped when I heard a knock on my door.

“Lily, do you want something to eat? I made sandwiches.” Nate yelled at my door.

My heart started up again, racing faster and faster.

I nodded.

“Lil?”

“Yes.” My voice cracked.

He can’t hear you nodding, Lillian.

I walked to my door but hesitated to open it. I can’t lock myself in my room forever.

I opened the door. Nate was sitting at the table eating his sandwich. He had set a plate right next to him for me, but I moved it across from him to give us some space. He licked his lips and smiled, trying to hold in his laughter.

The sandwich was small. I knew I was going to still be hungry. We ate our sandwiches in silence. I avoided eye contact, even though I was already blushing around him.

Why am I so awkward?

I looked up at him and smiled with my sandwich full cheeks.

“Lily. Are you ready for round two?”

My eyes widened.

“Wha-” my mouth still full.

“Of sandwiches. Round two.”

I swallow my food and felt relieved. “Ohhh. Yes.”

I watched him as he made another sandwich. I ate my last bite and awaited the next one.    He placed the sandwich on my plate.

“Although, if you want round three you might need to work for it.” He gave me a wink.

I pushed the sandwich away.

“I think we made a mistake.”

Nate shook his head as he took his seat, “Nope.”

“I think we did. A mistake that can never happen, again.”

“But it will.” Nate insisted.

Am I speaking a different language?

“Hopefully, next time we’ll get to the fun stuff.” He smirked.

“Wha- No-”

“Stop trying to hide it. You want it just as much as I do.” He ground out the words, his voice dark and sexy.

“I-I,” I paused. He knew he was right. “But it’s wrong. It should be wrong.”

“You mean what happened between us?” He smiled again, showing me his dimples.

“Yes-no. I don’t know.” I swallowed. “It should be wrong, but I don’t feel guilty. Shouldn’t it feel wrong? You’re part of my family.”

The thing is. I wanted it to happen again. But next time I wanted more. Much More.

“But you know nothing about me. How can you call me ‘family?’” Nate used air quotes around the word ‘family.’

“Our parents are married!” I stated the obvious.

“We’re practically strangers. Did you know I have taken over 50 cooking classes? Or that I once dyed my hair blonde because an ex-girlfriend preferred blondes to brunettes. Or that I once left work without shoes and didn’t notice until I was already home.”

“Well, I do now.” We both chuckled.

I looked into my room.

“If you can’t find a way. Make a way.” I whispered.

“What?”

“If you can’t find a way. Make a way.” I said louder

“Okay. What does that have to do with this conversation?”

“How about we let everything find its way,” I said.

He raised his eyebrows. He was still confused.

“So instead of us making this happen.” I pointed to us. “We’ll let everything fall into place.”

“Okay.” He took a bite of his sandwich. “So, like fate?

“Yes, exactly,” I said excitingly.

“So, if I flip a coin we-”

“Think big. Something more impactful.” I snarled.

I saw a smirk appear on his face. We finished our sandwiches as we both thought of something bigger. Nate snapped his fingers.

“How about if you get a second interview for Prime Design, then we can continue where we left off.” He winked at me.

“Hmm...” I thought about it.

“Great. It’s settled.”

I guess that works. I knew the chances were slim to none, so if I can get that job maybe Nate and I were meant to be.

“Well even if you don’t get a second interview you’ll want to continue where we left off,” he said, full of cocky attitude.

Nate stood up and walked behind me.

He grabbed my hair and pulled it, with his other hand he grabbed my throat, applying slight pressure.

My pussy twitched.

“I can still tease you. And sooner or later you’ll come crawling to me on all fours wanting something bigger.”

He kissed my cheek.

“Think big.”