The atmosphere in the cave felt much lighter, not only since the storm was over but also because both Elijah and I had let so much off our chests. Suddenly Harlow’s remark about the helicopter accident made a lot more sense.
It clicked to me that Elijah felt guilty about the incident and Harlow read that guilt— combined with Elijah’s natural proclivities towards being a reserved and isolated person— as there being something “off” about Elijah. I was glad Elijah had told me the full story so that it all made sense now. And also because I truly thought it would help him heal.
"Well, I guess it seems like I wasn't the only one who needed to make a confession. It sounds like you needed to do the same thing," I said.
"I appreciate you saying that,” Elijah answered. “And I appreciate the compliment that you gave me earlier, when you said I was brave. But I was not brave. I was a coward and ran away from my duty.”
I started to protest, but he kept talking. “As a matter of fact, I felt like such a disappointing coward that I couldn't face my SEAL buddies anymore. Harlow was badly injured in the crash, as were others; and some, including the pilot, even died. I couldn’t renew my service with the SEALS. And I wondered if my ex-SEAL mates thought that I was a coward… considering I didn't have the balls to face them after that. I bet they do."
He hung his head low and looked sad, as if someone had died. My heart ached for him. I didn’t pity him; I felt a closeness to him— a bond that I’ve never felt with anyone before.
"You have to understand something," I told him. "What you did was very brave. You spoke up about how you felt. You could just have easily kept your mouth shut. But you didn't. You went with your gut and told your commanding officer how you felt. So, in my eyes you are the bravest man alive. When you told your commanding officer how you felt, he should have listened. It might have saved some lives."
"Even if you want to say that it was good that I spoke out, the fact remains that I put them all in danger by not being the one to go in the air,” Elijah insisted. “Instead, I sent a rookie to do my job..."
"But, it wasn't your call to send them up," I said, cutting him off. "That was a call that your commanding officer made, and he could have made the choice not to."
I wanted him to stop beating himself up. I know how much pressure it could be to take on responsibility for something you have little control over.
“Plus, you have no idea if you would have done anything differently than the new pilot did,” I pointed out. “How did the helicopter crash? Was it pilot error?”
“No,” Elijah answered. “It was shot down by the enemy. There very well could have been nothing he could have done to stop it. But I can’t help thinking that if I were there, I could have figured something out…”
“Or maybe you wouldn’t have been able to,” I quickly interjected. “Then you would have had the same fate as the pilot. You can’t beat yourself up over something when you didn’t do anything wrong and when you don’t even know how things would have turned out if you were there.”
"That’s true,” Elijah admitted. “I push these thoughts so far out of my mind that at times I forget that they're there. I can’t even think about them logically. I really appreciate you listening and helping me sift through all of this without judging me."
"I appreciate you for that too," I said. "I know what you mean about holding things in and how it affects you. It feels good to be able to let it all out."
"Speaking of letting it all out..." he said, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
“Think we have time for one more quickie?” I asked him, knowing exactly where his train of thought was heading. “Just like our very first time?”
“I sure do,” he said.
He got on his knees so that he was kneeling over me. He pushed me hard against the floor, his eyes becoming more focused on my face. It felt like he was searching through my soul, peering into my eyes to see the very essence of me.
He leaned down and kissed me hard on my mouth. He bit my bottom lip so hard I thought he might draw blood. I touched my lip gingerly with my finger and looked at it, expecting to pull back fingers covered with red blood. Much to my surprise, there was no blood.
He came in for another kiss, this time pushing his whole body against mine and pinning me to the floor. With him on top, my breath became shallow from bearing the weight. But I liked the feeling.
His hands traveled up and down the length of my body. His touch was forceful, just like the way he was kissing me. It turned me on so much that my nipples perked. He began to wildly fondle me.
Growling, he flipped me onto my stomach and started ripping off my pants. I didn't protest, but waited with eager anticipation as I heard the buckle of his belt clanging. Looking past my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of him spitting into his palm and rubbing his hand up and down his hardened dick.
He stroked it continuously, his head dropping backward as he savored the sensation of his hand gripping himself. He hurried to put on a condom. He then reached over and pulled my ass cheeks open, exposing my pussy hole. I let out a yelp as he rammed his huge cock into my wet pussy.
"Do you like that, Michelle?" he asked, his hot breath over my ear and neck as he rode his dick in and out.
I was already sore from all the sex that we had had before, but I was so turned on I barely noticed it. I just wanted him to fuck me until I exploded with wetness all over his dick.
"Yeah," I moaned, throwing my ass back to meet the thrusts of his hips as he plowed his way deeper into my wet hole.
I felt his hand land hard on my ass, making a loud smacking sound. My skin prickled like I was being poked with needles. Before I had a chance to recover, he smacked me again. He spanked me on each side of my ass over and over, each slap harder than the one before it.
Throaty growls were escaping his mouth. He pulled me harder, his fingers digging into my waist. I winced in pain, but it was a great sensation of pleasure and pain mixed together. I could feel my pussy gripping his dick and tightening harder as he picked up speed, pounding me with his uninhibited thrusts.
I loved how he took charge and had his way with me. I liked the rough way he smacked my ass and pulled my hair. He was a man’s man… the total package. And what a package it was that was shaking deep inside of me.
I just couldn't get enough of his big dick thrusting in and out of my drenched pussy, so I pushed harder against him. I wanted to feel every last inch of his glorious cock, thrusting like a jack-hammer inside me.
I was too heated to last much longer and all I wanted to do was collapse in Elijah’s arms, panting and sweaty. But I wanted to make sure he was able to cum, too— I wanted to hear his moan as he released himself inside me.
I was getting a real work out as we made love, and I got a second wind as we kept it up. Every time I thought I was done, his cock would send another wave of pulsing electricity through me and make the nerve endings on my clit tingle with pleasure.
This keeps getting better and better, I thought. I could get used to this… real used to it.