CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“You can’t keep avoiding him,” Jules said from across the table. I rolled my eyes.
“It’s been two fucking days,” I told him. “And at this point the only thing keeping me from saying I won’t go into the fucking studio with him ever again is knowing that if I quit, everyone’s going to fucking blame me.”
“Well the band will blame Alex,” Jules pointed out. “That was a shitty fucking thing for him to do.” He plucked a cigarette out of its box and brought it to his lips.
“Apparently, Mary is fine with it,” I said bleakly. Jules snickered.
“Not so much,” he told me. “Basically, his story to her was that he was trying to prove that Allie was no good, that she wasn’t loyal or anything, just trying to use you.”
“Well he did a good goddamn job at that,” I said, lighting a cigarette of my own. We were outside of Jules’ apartment building, armed with coffee and donuts from Dandee Donut Factory near my house. Fran was at a show, and Jules hadn’t wanted to go, so he’d invited me over--and as much as I was hating life, I had to admit that I wanted to hear his perspective on the situation. “Also proved that he doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself,” I added.
“Mary told him no sex until he fixes his life,” Jules told me.
“She might as well break up with him, then,” I said.
“She has faith in him,” Jules said with a shrug. “Look: from what I’ve heard from Allie and Alex--and yeah, take shit with as many grains of salt as you want--she didn’t have much to do with that.”
“They were kissing, Jules,” I said. “Just because I’m a drummer doesn’t mean I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Jules said. “But think about this: if Alex had just grabbed Allie and started kissing her, it wouldn’t look that different from if they were kissing each other.” I looked at him for a long moment.
“How stoned did you get before I came over?” Jules laughed.
“Not nearly stoned enough,” he said, shaking his head. He sipped his coffee and flicked ash off the end of his cigarette. “But the point remains.”
“So, you’re telling me that Alex forced himself on Allie, and so I should forgive them both?” I raised an eyebrow.
“I’m telling you to talk to your girl,” Jules said. “There’s more to the situation than just people violating your trust or whatever you want to call it--especially since there’s the whole band to think about.”
“So even the rest of the band will blame me if shit goes to hell, even though it was Alex who pulled this shit,” I said.
“No,” Jules told me. “If you want to drive up to his place right now and kick the shit out of him, I’ll go with.” He grinned. “I think you’d probably be able to recruit Dan and Nick too. But the thing is, you have to think about the band. We can kick Alex out--but that’s a huge fucking load of paperwork, and also, we end up with no lead singer.” He shrugged again and took a drag of his cigarette. “The real question is whether you want the band to keep going. What that’s going to look like.”
“I don’t even know,” I told him. “I’m good with you, and Dan, and Nick.” I took some smoke into my lungs and held it there a moment before blowing it out. “I just don’t know what I want to do. Things were starting to actually go well for us and then…” I shook my head. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“You’re right,” Jules said. “It fucking isn’t. But you have to make up your mind about how to deal with that, and you have to do it fucking fast. The label is on the verge of just paying us off if we don’t come up with something for them.” Jules stubbed out his cigarette. “If you’re done with the band, then you’re done with the band. But if you’re not, you need to figure out what you’re going to do about the situation with Alex.” I nodded and looked down at the ground for a few moments, thinking.
“Let’s go to his house and fucking jump him,” I said, half-joking.
“Want me to call Nick and Dan?” I sighed.
“I should probably just fucking talk to the guy, but I feel like if I go and do it alone I’ll lose my shit,” I told Jules.
“Then let me call a meeting,” Jules said. “No Ron, no Jack, just us. We haven’t done that in a while.”
“We haven’t,” I agreed. “I just…” I groaned and stubbed out my own cigarette. “Fuck, man.”
“It’s some fucking bullshit,” Jules said, nodding. “We need to handle it. We need to figure it out.”
“But you’re on my side on this, right?” I looked at him. Jules smiled.
“As far as you having beef with Alex, yeah,” he said. “You’re justified. But I think if you want the band to keep going you’re going to have to find a way to deal with it with the rest of us.”
“I don’t know, man,” I said. I finished off my coffee and grabbed one of the last donuts from the box. “I just don’t fucking know what I should do.”
“Let me get the other guys on the phone,” Jules told me. “We’ll talk.” I didn’t think it would really help all that much, but I knew that with the contracts and everything going on, there was no way I could make a decision on my own about something that was going to affect the band. I had no idea what would happen to Alex, whether Molly Riot would keep existing, what I would do about Allie’s stuff still in my car, but I knew I had to face up to it all. I couldn’t just keep avoiding it the way I had months before with the bullshit that happened with Dan. Maybe I’m growing the fuck up, I thought, as Jules stood up and took his phone out of his pocket to start making calls.