Trina's mind felt numb and her body weak. She'd put herself through a lot in the last two days.

She thought Brad would come back, but he didn't.

It was fine.

It was for the best. She didn't want to have any expectations of him.

At least she finally had an explanation now about why he left.

She understood why, and why her father made him promise to leave.

It all made sense, it did. However, it didn't make the pain any less. The explanation, as understandable as it was, did nothing for her pain and made her bitter for all the wrong reasons.

She'd been managing all these years. She got by with her love for her job and even had a few serious relationships, but there was always that hole within her that couldn't heal from losing him.

Maybe she sabotaged every relationship she had because there was no one like him and no one she'd loved like him. Trina knew he wasn't exactly the best person back then, but she blamed it on his broken home and always believed he would change. Love made her look passed the flaws and try to encourage him to become the person she saw when she looked at him.

Back then she saw the man who was with her last night. That was the version of Brad who she saw, and she wished her father could have seen it too.

It was terrible for her to think that. She felt ashamed of herself for the thought because her father had given her everything, and more. He'd practically lived for her to have a better life than he did. Everything he did was for her, and he made it so she was well taken care of for the rest of her life. She just wished he could have given Brad the chance to change.

Her father said nothing when Brad left. He did nothing and said nothing. He'd always been so attentive to him that she should have realized that something wasn't quite right. But she was too heartbroken to notice.

Her mind went back to the night she was supposed to meet Brad for their date. Her father watched her get ready for a date that wasn’t going to happen. He watched her as she set out to look for him. He watched her file a missing person’s report for Brad, distressed and completely besides herself with worry that something bad had happened to him. All through that he still kept his silence, with only momentary reassurances that he was sure Brad was fine wherever he was.

Her father was a great man. The best. But she couldn’t say that she could have done the same to her child if it were her.

And, as for Brad...

While she understood, she couldn't help but wished he'd stayed and fought for her. What if her dad was testing him? Or, even if he wasn't, wouldn't it have had more value for him to stay and show him that he could change?

What was worse was while they were deciding what was best for her no one considered what she might want. No one thought about her opinion.

The last eleven years for her weren't spent happy. If anyone was to ask her if she was truly happy, and if she had the happiness her dad and Brad thought they were giving her, she would say no.

She didn't have that kind of happiness in her life, and that came from having a father who didn't tell her he was dying, who didn't give her a heads up that there was a chance she find her beloved father dead on his bed holding a picture of her and her mother. Trina didn't have that happiness because of the years of feeling rejected and abandoned by the man she loved.

To summarize, her father had taken all matters into his own hands, didn't tell her he was dying, sent Brad away, and Brad didn't fight to stay with her.

She shook her head at the thought. It was a complete mess. But, it didn't matter now. She couldn’t allow it to.

None of it. But one thing was certain, and that was that she couldn't stay here. Trina couldn't be here anymore, and she couldn't be Jennifer's maid of honor.

It was quite late, but Jennifer hung back when everyone left. Trina told them all what happened.

Jennifer sat next to Trina on the bed waiting for her to express her true feelings. They were great friends with Mandy and Lizzie, and as a group they got on well. However, together they shared a very special friendship. Jennifer was her best friend, she was like family to her.

"Do you need anything else?" Jennifer asked, concerned filled her eyes.

"I'm okay." She wasn't, but she thought she'd still say it.

The girls had all done their part to take care of her. While Lizzie gave her a shoulder massage, Mandy did her nails, and Jenifer made sure she was fed and not suffering from the intoxicating effects of the alcohol. She had a hangover but felt sleeping had minimized the effects somewhat.

Trina looked towards the door as there was a little sound on the other side. She got her hopes up that it could be Brad. However, her hopes were swiftly extinguished when she realized the noise must have come from the room adjacent to hers.

When she looked back to Jennifer, Trina saw that she was already looking at her. A soft smile brightened her face.

"You know you could go see him," she suggested.

Trina shook her head. "No. I can't."

"I'm still stuck on the fact that you guys know each other." Jennifer sighed and shuffled around on the bed so she was facing her.

"Yeah, small world right?" She offered a little smile.

“We’ve known him for years. You never told me about Brad. It seems like he meant a lot to you.” She inclined her head and continued to look at Trina. “I know Mandy can be Mandy and Lizzie has that over the top way about her. But us, we're a little different as friends."

Trina could see that Jennifer was hurt that she wasn't told.

"Mostly, I just tried to forget Brad. I was going through a lot when I first met you. First I had to deal with losing Brad and gear myself up to start at Stanford. Then I lost my dad. I really needed Brad then, and he wasn't there. I didn't have anyone I was close to, and everything was awful." She was crying again.

Jennifer reached across and covered Trina’s hands with hers.

"At least now you know the truth."

Trina shook her head. "And I hate it. The truth doesn't make me feel better. They both wanted my happiness, but I'm not happy. You've seen me all these years. Do I look happy to you?"

Jennifer's shoulders slumped, and she pursed her lips together. "When you have success you look happy then. But that's a different sort of happiness. It's not personal. So my answer is no," Jennifer replied, her voice low and thoughtful. "What are you thinking Trina?"

"I wish my dad didn't send Brad away. And, I wish that Brad stayed and showed him he could change."

"Trina, your dad was dying, and he could only see how life was at that point. I think he wanted to be sure he did everything he could to ensure you had a good life. I think that was all it was."

"Yes, but what about Brad?"

"Maybe he was doing what he was told," Jennifer offered.

It felt like there was something missing. She understood what happened, but...there was something that didn't quite add up, and the more she thought about it, the more it stared her in the face.

But she was too weak to find out what it was. Like she said, it didn't matter now.

"Jennifer," Trina held her friend's gaze. "I... can't stay here. I can't be here for the wedding, and I can't be your maid of honor."

At that, a tear ran down Jennifer's cheek, and Trina felt terrible. "Please, don't say that."

Trina shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I think I'll go home tomorrow but how about a good lunch with the girls first, and we could go shopping like we planned."

"Lunch and shopping?" Jennifer sighed. "Please don't side track me with talk of lunch and shopping. No one can fill your shoes Trina. The others understand that, that's why no one protested when I picked you to be my maid of honor. It was a given. You can't leave. The wedding is over two weeks away. I know you feel emotional now, and all this has happened to you, but I need you."

Trina felt bad right now. She felt fragile, and her mind was so congested she couldn't possibly begin to free it from the tension that strained it. It was on the tip of her tongue to insist on the need for her to leave but Jennifer continued.

"Why don't you decide tomorrow? We could still do lunch with the girls and go shopping. Then you could decide if you want to stay."

It was her eyes. Trina looked into Jennifer's eyes and found it difficult to say no.

"Okay. I'll see how I feel," Trina answered.