Chris

“Solo today?” Helen says as she walks into the office. Lauren has agreed to come to some sessions with me, and we agreed that some sessions I’ll come alone. Helen seems to be in a good mood today. I wish I was in a better mood today. Yesterday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Finding out that I have the means and the resources to do something good and being able to buy Lauren and Caylen things without worrying about the price are some of the best feelings ever.

I never experienced that before. I would have never considered myself poor growing up— my parents have had the farm since before I was born, and we always had two cars and a nice home—but my parents raised me to be responsible with money because after the necessities there wasn’t a lot to splurge on, and even less left to really make a difference in the world with. But now that seems possible. With this money, I can now breathe and not think about how bad things have been, or about the things I haven’t had a chance to do because now I have a chance to do more than I ever imagined. Lauren looked so beautiful when I woke her up last night. I fought with myself whether to let her sleep or not, but I wanted to share how I was feeling with her, to show her that I’m not the sad mopey one all the time. Seeing the way she looked at me, not them but me, how she moaned my name and lay in my arms—I wanted to just enjoy the time with my wife. And even this morning, watching her sleep and talking to her about what the future could hold felt great, but then she brought up that song.

“You seem to be in deep thought—how about you share?” She grins at me like a concerned old friend and I let out a deep frustrated breath. It’s our fourth session together and I feel more comfortable with her, but sometimes it feels like pulling teeth to open up to her. Opening up means getting answers and I need those, especially with the opportunity I have to really make things right. With all of the time that’s been taken away from me, it would all be worth it if I’m able to really do something good. It would make up for never being able to get my teaching license, never traveling, or following through on a decision I made.

“I remembered something,” I tell her and she sits straighter in her chair.

“It was a song that Lauren says is one of her favorites,” I explain. She picks up her pen and writes something on her notepad.

“I played it last night for her, and this morning she said that it was her favorite song. She used to play it all the time before she married Cal,” I tell her. She arches an eyebrow at me.

“You mean before she married you,” she corrects me, and I shrug.

“You’ve had memories before.”

“Yeah but they used to be like flashbacks, and this wasn’t like that. I just sort of knew… I guess.” She nods and writes something on her Ipad.

“Is that a good thing?” I ask her, and she looks up at me with a soft smile.

“Yes, any memory that comes to you is a good thing, that it didn’t come as what you would call a flashback isn’t anything to be concerned about. If anything I would say that it shows that it was shared.” She says jovially and I look at her confused.

“What do you mean?”

“It means that sometimes you can snatch memories and other times they are given to you by another side of yourself,” she explains.

“You mean Cal or Collin?”

“Yes exactly. How did you feel about what you were doing?” She sits in her chair and waits for me to respond.

“I felt great. I always feel good when I’m playing my guitar, but why would they share a memory with me?”

“It could be for any number of reasons, but sharing thoughts and memories is good. I couldn’t say for sure until I speak to them, but Collin has expressed being open to sharing with you,” she says casually. I feel myself frown. Isn’t he just the greatest?

“Chris, how do you feel about Collin?”

“I don’t know the guy. He is just another hurdle to get over,” I tell her with a shrug.

“Have you started on your letters to them?” she asks, and I realize I have completely forgotten about the letters.

“I’ve had a lot going on with getting settled into work, and my mom is here and spending time with Caylen and Lauren.”

“Thirty minutes out of your day shouldn’t be much,” she tells me. I rest my weight on my elbows. I don’t want to write a letter to them—it seems stupid and ridiculous but what do I know? I’m more lost in this than anyone else.

“I’ll start tonight,” I promise her and she looks pleased.

“Have you heard them?” she asks and I look at her confused. “Have you heard either of them try and speak to you?” It’s not too often that a person refers to you hearing voices as normal.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why don’t you think so?” She’s starting to ask too many questions and I feel myself getting impatient and antsy in my seat, so I stretch my legs out in front of me making the space suddenly seem smaller.

“I used to hear Cal’s.” I tell her and her expression remains blank. “His was more like taunting though. Never anything constructive.” She writes on her Ipad, but keeps her eyes on me. “After I came back, I heard thoughts that didn’t seem like they were mine, but I am pretty sure they weren’t Cal’s either.”

“Have you ever tried to speak back to them?” I can’t help but snicker, but her face is completely serious

“No.” I tell her as if it’s obvious. For one, I didn’t even know that was possible and two, I really am not interested in getting to know either of those jerks. She stands from her seat and walks over to sit in the chair beside me.

“Are you afraid of them?” she asks and I feel anger rise up in my chest.

“No, I’m not afraid of them,” I scoff at her.

“Then why wouldn’t you want to talk to them?” she asks, and I look at her again as if it’s obvious.

“Because they want my life, they’ve tried to shut me out of my life. I’m angry not, I'm afraid!” I shout at her.

“Do you think you’ll ever stop being angry?”

I frown at her question and get up from my seat. I feel energy swirling around inside of me that I have to let out.

“If they stop trying to screw up my life,” I say through a nervous laugh.

“And what would you want them to do in order to not ‘screw up your life,’” she says in air quotes.

“Go away and never come back.” I smile widely at this and she frowns.

“You’ve done peer mentoring before haven’t you, Christopher?” she asks and I nod.

“If you had two students you worked with who didn’t get along, what would you have them do?”

I roll my eyes knowing where this is going. “This isn’t the same thing!” I let out a strained breath and sit down. “Fine. I’d have them talk about what the problem is, and try to find common ground, let them know that they don’t have to like each other but respect is essential,” I tell her begrudgingly.

“That sounds like amazing advice.” She tells me with a triumphant grin. I sit down feeling defeated, and think back to all the kids I used to mentor and how they sometimes would look at me as if I didn’t understand what it was like to be young and misunderstood. They thought my life was perfect and that I couldn’t possibly understand or give them advice. Now I’ve traded places with them.

“We talked about control the last time you were here. Control is power. Knowledge is control. Communication gives you the keys to access those things.” She explains as if it’s the simplest answer in the world. I unzip my khaki jacket and set it beside me—it’s starting to get hot in here. The prospect of being able to talk to them freaks me out. I never thought it would be possible, but in some way I guess it would be like talking to myself.

“You talked about co-consciousness before.” She studies me for a second and then nods.

“Chris and Collin already are, right?” I ask and she gives me a tight smile. “Or you can’t answer that?”

“What I can tell you is that your alternate states of mind have been in communication for awhile,” she says with a sympathetic grin. Great, it’d make sense why I’m the one left out of the loop.

I shift in my seat. “So if I was considering doing this, how would it work? Would I stand in a mirror or something?” I laugh, but she maintains its seriousness.

“Not quite.” She gives me an empathetic smile.

I feel so confused. “You can meet with them,” she adds, and I think she’s pulling my leg at this point.

“I’m serious Chris. We’ve already discussed how phenomenal the power of the human mind is—your mind specifically.” She looks at me almost in awe. It only makes me uncomfortable. “You can imagine a place in your mind where you could meet them.”

“Where we all just sit down and sing “Kumbaya”,” I snicker and her smile hardens.

“Christopher, I am not here to waste your time, please don’t waste mine. Nothing I present to you is meant to be a joke or play on your intelligence.” Her voice is cool and unwavering, and it makes me feel almost guilty, but I quickly think of all the things she’s kept from me and I realize I’m right to have my doubts—even though holding onto them right now won’t help me at all.

“Okay… how would I do that?” I remove the condescension from my tone, and she smiles widely.

“First, you work on the letters, and then we’ll begin.”

* * *

Lauren

My thoughts from this morning replay like a TV show I’ve watched a million times as I sit on the couch watching Caylen and Mrs. Scott play with one of the gadgets Chris bought her yesterday. Chris remembered the song and it was something so small—really insignificant to anyone else—but to me it meant a lot. The look on his face after he realized it hit me harder because he looked almost scared. I regretted telling him that I didn’t have to go to every session with him because I know he’ll talk to Helen about it, and I wonder what her response will be—if she’ll help him uncover why he looked so nervous instead of triumphant. Maybe that’s how he’s always been. He didn’t tell me about his memories right away after he started remembering them. I know it has to be scary when your mind starts putting pieces of a puzzle together you’re not sure if you even want to solve, but that scares me. If he’s afraid of integration—of being whole—where does that leave us? The feeling hits me even more as I watch Caylen. She’s so happy now, blissfully unaware of the issues her father and mother face, but it won’t be like that forever. Caylen can’t have three dads—how would she begin to understand?

“Are you okay, Lauren?” Mrs. Scott looks at me with a warm but worried smile. I snap myself out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, just trying to get this picture to come together.” I’ve been sketching her and Caylen but am nowhere near done.

“Are you hungry? Want me to make you something to eat?" she asks brightly and I smile.

“I’m stuffed from breakfast and the submarine sandwich you made me for lunch. If I eat one more bite of anything before dinner, Chris is going to get me confused with a blimp,” I tease her.

“Your kitchen is so beautiful I could bake in there for hours,” she says before squealing at the doll Caylen has pushed in her face. “But Chris is the one who made you breakfast, it wasn’t me,” she throws me a half-smile.

I think back to when Chris stepped in to teach me how to cook, and how much more things were complicated then. Thankfully they’re simpler now—or at least they’re supposed to be—or maybe in Chris’s eyes we swapped Jenna out for Collin.

“I’m so sorry, Lauren.” Mrs. Scott’s voice is low and sullen, her eyes full of sorrow.

“For what?” I ask her a little confused.

She runs her hand through Caylen’s black curls. “I should have said something to you sooner. The day I came here when I found out you and Cal were engaged. I was so selfish to think of all the time he missed with her, the time that William and I missed with her.”

I get off the couch and sit beside her. “Mrs. Scott, that’s in the past. We just have to believe that it all worked out for the greater good. I don’t know what would have happened if you had told me about him, and Cal is so stubborn he may have made good on his promise to disappear. We may not have had Caylen. You are the best mother-in-law I could have ever imagined. Caylen loves you, and you’re wonderful to us.” I mean every word. She hugs me, and I think back to the day in the kitchen when I imagined having a relationship like this with her.

“And so are you. I couldn’t have picked a better woman for my son to love,” she tells me squeezing my hands. “I’ve never seen my son look at anyone like how he looks at you.” I can’t help but smile. “Even when he’s Cal. The day I came here, I had assumed that what he had with you wasn’t real… but when I saw him with you, that delusion I convinced myself of had crumbled.” I smile at her, but the looming sadness that comes over me when I think of Cal has taken hold of me.

I miss him, and I hate that I feel guilty about it. It’s so stupid, but I do.

“Do you miss him?” It’s like she is reading my mind but her question shocks me. She smiles sympathetically at me when the look on my face must have given me away.

“Would it be terrible if I said yes?”

“No, of course not. I know how much you love my son. That’s all that matters to me, and don’t you ever feel guilty about that,” she tells me adamantly.

I give her another hug and thank God that she’s my mother-in-law. The doorbell rings interrupting our moment. I can’t think of who it would be because even if Chris couldn’t find his key the doorman would have let him up. I push myself off the floor and go to the intercom.

“Yes,” I say into it.

“It’s your best friend in the whole wide world.” A smile breaks out on my face hearing that voice. “Come on up, Hill.” I haven’t seen her in weeks and am so excited to see her.

“I’ll go and put Caylen down for her nap,” Mrs. Scott scoops up Caylen and her toys in her arms. I give Caylen a kiss and she settles into Mrs. Scott’s arms. I gather the few remaining toys on the floor and cart them off to what I’ve dubbed Caylen’s corner in the house, and unlock the door for Hillary to come in.

“Hey Hun Bun!” she squeals as she comes through the door and pulls me into a hug.

“I actually missed you!”

She looks at me feigning hurt. “So you’re implying that you don’t usually miss me?” She touches her chest and gives me puppy dog eyes. “Guess who I brought with me,” she says with a wink and wide grin. I’m shocked as ever when Aidan pops up behind her.

“Aidan!” I laugh as he gives me a charming smile before picking me up in a bear hug.

“What are you doing here?” I ask happily as he sits me down. I glance at Hillary, and I can only imagine what one of those reasons is.

“Well, the old man Chris sent me a text to call him, and since I’m not busy and this one has been on my back to come see her…” he teasingly elbows Hillary.

“Oh please, I think you’re just having withdrawals,” she says suggestively putting her chest against his. I swallow hard and cover my laugh. They are the strangest sight. I mean they both are young, attractive, and single, so they absolutely make sense. But I hope Aidan knows what he’s getting himself into. Hillary feigns all fun and games but deep down she wants what most girls want, someone to love her.

“So you guys are loaded, huh?” Aidan asks as he walks further into the apartment and looks around. I roll my eyes at him.

“You are so late to the party. Cal had money out the ass since he met Lauren,” Hillary tells him. I watch Aidan frown. I’m sure he’s probably as happy to hear Cal’s name as Chris is.

“We’re not loaded,” I laugh feeling my cheeks heat up.

“So I can’t borrow ten grand is what you’re saying?” he says with a serious face, but then he flashes me his signature charming smile.

“No, you cannot,” I swat him.

“Where’s the hubby?” Hillary walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water.

“He’s at work. He should be home soon though.”

“I can give Aidan a tour of the house.” Hillary gives me an innocent look while grabbing his hand.

“Uhm sure but let’s keep it PG-13 Hil,” I warn her and she gives me another innocent look.

“Actually G-rated, Hillary!” I call after them as they disappear up the stairs.

I straighten up the living room while everyone is upstairs. Hopefully Hillary and Aidan won’t be too long. We’re best friends but her having sex with my husband’s best friend on any piece of my furniture is not a level of friendship I’m looking forward to reaching anytime soon. Mrs. Scott comes downstairs wearing a strained smile.

“I think something is going on in your uhm guest room,” she says, her face flushed red.

“Dammit Hillary,” I mutter under my breath. “That would be Aidan and Hillary,” I tell her and her eyes widen in shock.

“Oh.” She laughs covering her mouth, then a worried expression clouds her face. “Has he spoken to Christopher?”

“I’m not sure. We didn’t really get a chance to talk before Hillary dragged him upstairs,” I say feeling my own worry starting to rise. We both look grimly at each other.

“Aidan wouldn’t tell Chris anything that would upset him,” I say hopefully. There are a list of things I’d rather Chris not know right now. That his parents are raising his dad’s love child is one of those things I’d rather him find out just a little bit later. He’s been so happy, but I know it’s a battle that he’s always on the edge of losing. I know it’s selfish of me to not want him to know right now, but not knowing who is going to show up at what time and with what agenda has gotten a little overwhelming.

“No, I wouldn’t think so but… Aidan is Aidan,” she says her lips pressed together tightly. She’s right. Aidan is Aidan and though I know he’d never intentionally tell Chris something to hurt him, I don’t know if he understands what would affect Chris and what wouldn’t. But Aidan isn’t stupid. He saw what happened after Chris found out about his dad and Lisa. I just wonder if he gets that after it all happened, Collin took over and Chris has been out of it for months—that this is all still very fresh for him. I want to march up to the guest room and ask him, but the thought of hearing him and Hillary in the midst of whatever they’re doing stops me.

“I’m sure it will be fine. I’ll go ahead and get started with dinner.” Mrs. Scott is trying to put on a brave face, but I can tell she doesn’t think it’s fine. I pull out my phone to call his number but then hear the front door beginning to open. I hang up the phone and my pulse slows down when Chris walks through the door with a big, playful grin on his face.

“Hey.” Thank God he’s happy.

“Hi.” I walk over to him and stand on my tippy-toes to give him a light kiss. “How was your session?”

“It was good,” he says holding my waist.

“Well, you have some company.” I rub the back of his neck, and the prickly hairs on his head massage my hand.

“Who?” he asks, a hint of anxiety under his voice.

“Aidan.” His face breaks into an enthusiastic smile.

“Where is he?” He looks around the apartment, and I clear my throat.

“Hillary is showing him our upstairs guest room,” I say and he arches an eyebrow at me. “They’ve been hanging out a lot it seems.”

“Great…” he chuckles and we both make our way to the kitchen. “Hey Mom” he says and gives Mrs. Scott a kiss on the cheek.

“I am making your favorite dinner today.”

“All of your foods are my favorite,” he tells her taking my hand and pulling me back into the living room. “I missed you today.”

“Did you?” I ask him teasingly.

“Yup. A whole lot.” He lifts me off the floor for another kiss.

“So you guys working on baby number two already, huh?” Aidan walks into the room with Hillary in tow. We untangle from each other’s arms.

“Aidan Riles,” Christopher says playfully, and they give each other a man hug.

“Hey, Chris?” Hillary asks him with a questioning grin and a hand on her hip.

“That’s me,” Chris says with a nod, and she glances my way and winks.

“When I texted you, I expected a phone call, but I must be really special to get a whole visit,” Chris says, and Aidan shrugs.

“Well, someone convinced him…” Hillary sings wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Oooh…” Chris says and Aidan looks away embarrassed.

“So I’m here in the windy city—when do I get to blow her?” My mouth falls open, and Hillary grins like a Cheshire cat. Chris blows out an annoyed breath.

“I meant like hit the town, man. Let’s have some fun. After everything that’s happened couldn’t we use some drinks?”

“You want to go out?” Chris glances at me to ask, and I shrug.

“Come on, Lauren. When was the last time we’ve been out?! I know you’re a mom but do you have to be a grandma?” she teases me.

“Hey, what’s wrong with being a grandma?” Mrs. Scott asks making her entrance.

“Ms. Red, what are you doing here?” Aidan happily lifts her into a big hug.

“Hi, Mrs. Scott.” Hillary is more bashful, and I’m a little surprised She’s never been one to be bashful not even around Raven.

“Hi, Hillary. Nice to see you again.” Mrs. Scott offers her a friendly smile though since the last time she saw them, it was anything but nice to see them.

“I didn’t think you’d be here. Who’s watching—” I elbow Aidan hard in the stomach. “Owww,” he says rubbing his side. Hillary and Chris look at me as if I’ve lost my mind but Mrs. Scott looks at me gratefully.

“I have the perfect place for us to go!” I say dramatically.

“You have the perfect place for us to go? Since when do you party?” Hillary asks me with a confused laugh.

“Uhm…I saw this listening party on TV that seemed pretty cool. Everyone wears headphones so you can listen to the music you want.”

“Headphones?” Aidan scoffs but thankfully has moved on from spilling information that really isn’t needed right now.

“I’ve been to one, and it’s actually pretty cool.” Hillary says but her eyes go to me.

“You guys are going to be cool at a club? I assumed that Chris would want to hang at a bar or something,” Hillary says curiously. Actually, I’d rather be at a bar than a club—fewer people, more laid back, and no room for issues to arise.

“Whatever you guys want to do,” Chris says.

“Okay I have another suggestion. Let’s all be open-minded about this…” Aidan starts and Chris folds his arms waiting for what he is going to say.

“A strip club!” Aidan shouts enthusiastically, and we all stare at him blankly. Chris tries to stifle a laugh.

“A club where girls are only half-naked it is,” Hillary dismisses his idea. “What are you going to wear, handsome?” she asks looking at Aidan.

“I can borrow some of Chris’s clothes,” he shrugs easily. It makes sense since he and Chris are about the same size.

“Chris, you have clubbing clothes?” Hillary stares at him in disbelief.

“I’m sure we can find something in the closet,” I butt in. “Come on, Aidan. Let me show you around the wardrobe.” I take his hand and pull him out of the room. I glance back at Chris and Hillary who have confused looks on their faces.

“You two, I need your taste buds in the kitchen,” Mrs. Scott picks up on my hint.

“I’m not picky. You pick whatever you think would look good on me, Mrs. Scott,” Aidan says playfully as we round the stairs.

“I’m sure you have more of an opinion than that,” I tell him tightly until we get to the second floor. I lead him into our bedroom and look at him. “Chris doesn’t know about Willa.” His smile fades and realization dawns on his face.

“Oooh.” He crosses his arms across his chest.

“And you guys aren’t going to tell him… ever?” he asks with an concerned chuckle.

“Of course we are. While Mrs. Scott is still figuring things out, it makes no sense to tell him right now.” Aidan looks at me and lets out an incredulous laugh.

“So you think hiding it from him is a good thing?”

“I’m not hiding anything really…” I trail off guiltily. “The thing is, even though it’s been a few months, this is still new to Chris. Collin has been here and it’s all like a fresh wound. I don’t want to go picking at it while it’s fresh.” I try to explain.

“You’re his wife, Lauren. What you say goes.” He throws up his hands in defeat, and I feel like I’ve lost.

“Mrs. Scott doesn’t know if she’s staying with Mr. Scott yet, so it doesn’t make sense for Chris to stress over what all this means right now.” Aidan shrugs, his usual playful demeanor seemingly serious.

“I’ve been over to help Mrs. Scott out, to check on her and I don’t think it’s a question of if they’re working it out,” he says quietly, and I arch my brow at him. “I think the decision has already been made. She loves that little girl and while I don’t think the bastard deserves it at all, I’m pretty sure she still loves him too.”

I can’t say I’m surprised. I had gotten the impression that it was a strong possibility that Mrs. Scott would forgive Mr. Scott. They have been together for so long that this blip or super large pothole is just a bump in the road. I saw the way she looked at him before all of this happened, and while I’m not sure I could ever forgive Chris for something like that, I can’t blame her for doing it. But taking care of the child he created outside of our marriage—that, I don’t think I’d ever be mature enough to do. Whatever she decides isn’t any of my business, but it does change things about keeping secrets from Chris.

“But it’s up to you. I won’t say anything, and if anyone tells him, it should be you or Mrs. Red,” he says as if his mind is made up. That makes things easier and harder at once.

“Well, I guess you should actually take a look in the closet, so I’m not a liar,” I tease him. I open the closet doors and he whistles.

“My whole room could fit in here,” he playfully exaggerates his tone as he shuffles through the closet.

“Have you talked to her?” I ask him unable to contain my curiosity. Well, it’s not just curiosity. I can’t help but wonder about her—we were friends once, we spent a lot of time together while I was in Michigan, and she was my confidante and cheerleader at one point in my life. Aidan’s body becomes visibly rigid.

“Yeah,” he says shortly, the undercurrent of his tone surprisingly bitter. I’m not used to that from Aidan, he’s usually all smiles and jokes. “Right before she left and pretty much dumped Willa on the Scotts.” His aggravation shows as he ruffles through the clothes more roughly. “She’s probably on a beach somewhere with this douchebag she met when we were in high school.” He says begrudgingly.

“They are so many clothes in here. Can you just pick something?” I smile at him and go for a light grey V-neck T-shirt and a pair of black jeans and hand them to him.

“I asked her to stay,” he says out of nowhere. I look at him surprised by the solemnity in his words. There’s no playful glint in his eye, but his look is almost regretful. My eyes widen because I’ve never seen him like this before.

“I would have helped her…” he trails off eying the clothes I just handed him. “This isn’t Chris’s, is it?” he changes the subject and his shift in tone is startling.

“Uhm no,” I tell him. My eyes fall on the T-shirt and jeans and my thoughts shift to Cal. His eyes find mine, and he looks at me contemplatively.

“When I met that Collin dude…” he half-chuckles. “It was weird. I was seeing Chris but not seeing him. I admit I was sort of drunk but… I thought about you, and how it must have been when you met Chris… then Collin.” He looks at me almost sympathetically.

“I know they’re all one person technically, but I have to hand it to you for keeping it all straight,” he says with a half-smile.

“Thanks, Aidan. That means a lot to me.”

* * *

Chris

“I can cook a little. Just most things tend to be more of the out the box and warm it up variety,” Hillary tells my mom as she watches her clean the chicken wings she’s making for tonight.

“It’s not as hard as it looks. It just takes a little time and patience,” my mom tells her.

“And you cook?” Hillary asks me skeptically.

“I learned from the best.” I throw my arm around my mom’s shoulder.

“Huh. You never used to cook as Cal.” Hillary looks at me skeptically, oblivious to how awkward the statement she just let fly out of her mouth is. I don’t know much about Hillary other than that she’s Lauren’s best friend and that she threw water in Jenna’s face the last time I saw her. Based on that I get that she’s not exactly politically correct.

“Chris is an amazing cook. I’ve been teaching him since he was a little boy,” my mom interjects saving me from an awkward response. “What about you Hillary—did your mom or dad cook?”

She lightly shrugs. “My dad? That’s a laugh.” She chuckles. “My parents are very traditional—meaning a century backward. My mom does all the cooking, all the cleaning, basically an indentured slave,” she says haughtily. “What about your husband—does he cook?" And now the awkwardness that we just managed to avoid is back full force.

“Not really, but only because I enjoy it so much there was never really a need for him to,” my mom answers back politely.

“When I get married—unless he wants food poisoning—my husband will have to be as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom.” She laughs and my mom looks down at the food awkwardly.

I let out a short laugh. This girl and Aidan together seems like it would be nothing but trouble. She’s obviously a firecracker and he’s a wrecking ball, and together they’re a path of destruction. But that’s looking too far ahead. I can’t remember the last time he’s been serious with a girl—not that them being here means that he’s serious—maybe they’re just having fun. I hope so, at least because if things go bad with them—and I don’t see things ending amicably—Lauren and I have enough of our own problems to deal with.

“What do you think?” Aidan comes into the kitchen and does a model pose from Zoolander.

“Very handsome,” my mom tells him excitedly.

“I like,” Hillary agrees with a dramatic smile.

“You look okay I guess.”

“Says the guy who stole my old haircut.” He slaps me on the back of the head, and I slap him back.

“Okay, we should know better than to roughhouse in the kitchen,” my mom tells us, taking me back to when I was twelve.

We all head out of the kitchen and sit down in the living room.

“I’m going to go see what Lauren’s up to,” Hillary says before heading up the stairs and I notice Aidan watching her walk away.

“Seriously Aidan,” I scold him once she’s out of earshot.

“What?” he asks innocently.

“Lauren’s best friend?” I frown at him and he laughs.

“We’re just having fun. Nothing serious I promise.” He holds up his fingers in the scout’s honor promise. “Enough about me though. What about you? Are you cool?”

“Yeah I am,” I tell him with a smile

“I mean looking at this place it looks like you are,” he says.

“Yeah, I’ve got to show you the cars.” I laugh.

“Besides the Audi?”

“There’s a Porsche and one of the new Jeeps.” Aidan’s been obsessed with cars since we were kids, and not just in the way most guys are. He could give you a full history of almost any brand you name, his favorite being Chevy. When we were in high school, he had two cars he fully restored and sold by the time he turned twenty-one.

“Oh man, I’ve got to see them.” He jumps up from the couch. I snatch my keys off the table and yell to my mom that we’re heading to the garage. Once we make it down, he stops at the Porsche and does a long whistle sliding his hand across the hood.

“So, this is your life?” Aidan asks dramatically, obviously impressed.

“Yeah.” I breathe out as I pop the locks to the car and toss him the keys. He looks just as excited as a kid in a candy store.

“I know you don’t like this Cal guy, but you can’t fault him on taste. I’ve got to get on a highway because these streets are ridiculous,” he says as we pull out.

“Yeah, I’m still getting used to them,” I admit. Navigating downtown Chicago is like the Wild West. People cut in front of you, pedestrians jaywalk in hoards, and the cabdrivers are the worst—I don’t know how any of them have licenses.

“So catch me up. You’ve been gone for awhile.”

“Yeah, it sucks too,” I grumble.

“I saw you… or Collin about a month ago.”

“You did?” I ask surprised.

He nods. “Yup.”

It’s so strange to hear things like this, to not remember any of it. “How was he or I?” I correct myself remembering Helen’s earlier words.

“Honestly I was sort of drunk.” I frown at him. “But he looked like you, dude. Well you if you had a designer haircut and graduated from some Ivy League school,” Aidan says. He laughs, and then quickly turns serious “You don’t remember anything?”

“No, not while I was him.” I try to get more used to the face of all these sides of me being me and not another person. Helen’s been stressing that. “When I blacked out, the last thing I remembered before coming to was the thing that happened at my parent’s house.” There’s an awkward silence that stretches longer than I expect it to.

“Yeah, that was pretty fucked up.”

“My mom seems like… she’s dealing with it at least,” I tell him, and he only keeps his eyes on the road.

“Yeah I’ve been making sure to check on her since you’ve been gone,” he says.

“Thanks man.” I knew he would. My family has been his family… him, me, and Lisa were all family. I feel myself becoming angry just thinking about her.

“You saw my dad?” I ask him, he glances over at me.

“I haven’t talked to him if that’s what you mean… you?”

“He was at the house when I came to. I kicked him out though.” Aidan looks at me with a disbelieving smile.

“You kicked your dad out?”

“Yeah…” I say with a half-smile, but it’s forced.

“What was he thinking coming to your house?” I take a deep breath and explain to him what’s been told to me. Everything from Cal trying to kill his stepdad to me being a Crestfield.

“Holy shit, you should have told me this before I started driving, man.”

“It’s not a big deal. It hasn’t made my life any better or worse knowing about it,” I say dryly. He glances over at me as if I’m crazy.

“Are you serious, dude? You’re a Crestfield and you don’t think it’s changing your life?” He sounds perplexed.

“Well, I mean the financial part, yeah. Turns out I’m worth millions of dollars.”

“Drop the fucking mic I’ve got to pull over,” he says dramatically.

“Keep going. The highway’s only about five more minutes off to the left.” I’m surprised by how fast the thought comes to me. I’ve only driven here twice.

He switches lanes. “You don’t drop that type of information on someone while they’re driving a car that they couldn’t afford in three lifetimes,” he says.

“I guess that part is pretty awesome,” I admit.

“You think?”

“That’s actually why I called you earlier. I was thinking we could go into business together.”

“Seriously?”

“Of course. You’re my best friend, and I can’t think of anyone better to be partners with,” I tell him.

“But… I’m not exactly a reader of the Wall Street Journal, Chris. I don’t know the first thing about starting a company,” he says honestly and that’s why he’s my best friend. Here I am offering him to experiment with my money—no investment of his at all—and he’s still looking out for my best interests.

“I’m not talking about starting a Fortune 500 conglomerate.” I laugh. “I was thinking about more along the lines of a car restoration business. Something that you could write a book on with what you know,” I tell him seriously.

“In Michigan, no one could afford what I’d want back out after putting that much time in though.”

“Not in Michigan but here. Look around. There’s obviously money everywhere and these people don’t know what to spend it on. I bet I can even wrangle up the right clientele through Dexter if I wanted to,” I say and he looks at me, a grin on his face.

“You’re serious, dude?” he asks me trying to suppress his enthusiasm.

“Yes, dead serious.”

“Wow, Chris. I don’t know what to say,” he says sheepishly and I don’t think I’ve seen Aidan look modest in his entire life.

“Say yes. I can’t think of anything better than working with my best friend. Besides I want something that’s mine. All of this money came from Cal… and Collin. I want to build something of my own, and if I have any episodes, I’d need to work with someone who won’t freak out and that I can trust,” I tell him honestly.

“Dude, if I wasn’t driving I’d kiss ya,” he declares with a wide smile.

“Well, thank God you’re driving then.”

We drive for about a half hour, and he tells me about the saga of him and Hillary which turns out to be a lot of partying and sex. He tells me what his grandma’s been up to, and I catch him up on my therapy sessions, and my meeting with Dexter Sr. As we’re pulling back into the garage of the apartment building, I have to ask him about the elephant in the room.

“So have you talked to Lisa? I mean you can tell me I won’t be mad… much.” It’s not like I expect Aidan to stop talking to her because of what she did to me and my family, even though he should since she’s proven to be a master manipulator and diabolical liar.

“Not in awhile… last I know she’s headed to California.”

“California? What would she be doing there?” I ask confused.

“Something with a guy…” he shrugs, and I laugh in disbelief.

“That’s ridiculous. What guy?” I ask, even though I shouldn’t care at this point. And I don’t, but I’m curious.

“Remember that Brett dude from high school?”

“You’re kidding?” He gives me a look to say he isn’t.

I shake my head. “Why would she do that? Abandon her whole life and take off with a guy she didn’t even really like in high school.”

“Well, it’s not like she had much left here, huh?” he asks, and I know I’m imagining the hint of disdain in his voice. He gets out of the car and I do the same.

“What about her kid?” I try to ignore the fact that the kid is my half-sister.

“Let’s not talk about Lisa anymore man,” he says exasperated and throws his arm around my shoulder. “You’re rich and we have two beautiful women to take out on the town…” he says and I can’t help but laugh at that.

“And drinks are on you, million-dollar man.” He pats me on the back before we go in.

* * *

“Are you guys ready to party in the big city!” Hillary squeals at the top of her lungs while sitting on Aidan’s lap in the back of our car. I try to keep from staring at her chest, but they’re out for everyone to see.

“It can’t be that much different from Michigan, can it?” I ask, and Hillary and Lauren share a giggle.

“Hey, Chris and I have been to some ragers in our day,” Aidan says trying to defend us.

“Oh please hon. We like that you’re small town boys, right Lauren?” Hillary teases.

“That’s the only thing that’s small about me,” Aidan tells her and I can’t wait to get a drink in my hand.

“You up for this, babe?” Lauren looks concerned, and I flash her a playful smile.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she says. I squeeze her hand in mine. We pull in front of the club Hillary chose, and get out of the car. There’s a long line of people. Hillary walks to a woman wearing a white dress that’s even skimpier than Hillary’s.

“Charlie!” She squeals, and she turns to her with a hard frown until his eyes trail down Aidan’s body.

“Hey babe, haven’t seen you in a while.” She says, and Hillary grabs Aidan’s arm and presses against him.

“Someone’s been keeping me busy.” Aidan rubs the back of his head and smiles nervously.

“I’d be hiding out too,” she tells Hillary and her eyes fall on me. I swallow hard and Lauren grips my arm. That makes me smile—she’s jealous or possessive—and either one is a turn on though she has nothing to worry about. She’s naturally beautiful, and even in the olive dress that shows ten percent of the skin most of the girls out here are showing, she’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

“That’s Lauren’s husband, Chris. Hands and eyes off,” Hillary tells the Charlie girl, a hint of sharpness in her voice before we walk into the club. I chuckle at that.

The music is already pulsating as we make our way through the crowd. It’s some pop song and a rapper segues into it. This place is huge with two floors from what I can see. There’s more people here than I think were in my entire high school..

“Let’s head to the bar,” Hillary shouts over the music to us. We all follow behind her and squeeze ourselves in between the people. I feel my arm wrap around Lauren’s waist, and she smiles back at me. She feels good in my arms. She smells like candy, and her long, dark, wavy hair cascades down her back. I try to ignore the looks both her and Hillary are getting.

“What are you guys drinking?” A bartender approaches us wearing the same hairstyle that Collin was wearing. What’s with guys and girls hairstyles?

“Let’s do shots!” Hillary says sneakily.

“I’ll just have a beer,” I tell her and she pouts.

“An amaretto sour for me,” Lauren tells her.

“Oh, come on you guys. We aren’t in high school, so don’t be sticks in the mud tonight please!!!” Hillary shouts.

“Come on Scott, live a little. You too, Lauren. One shot won’t kill you,” Aidan urges us.

Lauren looks at me trying to read my expression. Hillary and Aidan look like we’ve killed their puppy dog.

“I guess one is okay,” I tell Lauren, and she smiles.

“Fine, one shot,” she tells Hillary who does some type of shimmy dance before telling the bartender. When the bartender spreads our drinks out before us, we pick them up to do a toast.

“To new beginnings,” Hillary lifts her glass and turns to Aidan.

“To fast cars and beautiful women,” Aidan adds.

“To life,” Lauren adds with a beautiful smile. “I’ll drink to that.”