Zoe
Shutting the door and putting a wall between Dylan and me isn’t easy. But nothing compares to the dread that crept up my spine when I saw the dating app on Dylan’s phone. The only thing that kept me from losing my mind was him telling me that he didn’t need the app. Not after last night.
I’m relieved he doesn’t regret sleeping with me, but as long as that app’s on his phone, what’ll keep him away from temptation? Hundreds of single girls are a click away.
The app’s been on my phone for all of ten minutes and I can’t keep my finger from pressing the little icon on the screen. Until I see for myself what Hooked Up is all about, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else. How’s that for a double standard?
After I create a screen name, I scroll through some of the members. There’s no doubt some of the guys are hot, but I’d be uncomfortable starting a conversation with any of them. That is until a message pops up on my screen from Colby Dick. Clever.
Colby Dick: Are you a washing machine?
Dr. Zoe: Um, nope.
Colby Dick: Damn, cause I wanna fill you with my load.
After the initial shock wears off, I laugh. There’s no chance I’m messaging him back, but hey, if that’s the line he uses to get girls to notice him, then he should expect some spectacular responses.
Another message follows from someone new and before I accept, I brace myself. I’m glad I do because it’s worse.
Happy Harry: I think I’m sick, Doc. I need you to sit on my face.
I don’t want to know why, so I just move on, but not before blocking Happy Harry.
Just as I finish with him, another pops up. One that’s tame in comparison.
Get It: Hey, baby.
Dr. Zoe: Hi.
Get It: Sex?
Dr. Zoe: Female.
Get It: Sex?
Dr. Zoe: I’m a girl.
Get It: Sex?
Dr. Zoe: Is your phone stuck?
Get It: Sex?
Dr. Zoe: I have boobs!
There must be a language barrier, so I close out the chat and forget about that guy.
The next message stumps me, so I sit and stare at the screen, wondering what it could mean.
Bubba: What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
Dr. Zoe: I have no idea.
Bubba: Bingo!
I’m so thankful it’s not disgusting or sexual that I crack up laughing. So far, Bubba isn’t like the others, and it’s a nice change of pace.
Dr. Zoe: What else do you have in your arsenal?
Bubba: Is that doctor talk for asshole?
Dr. Zoe: No, it’s a word. And nobody likes that hole. If they say they do, they’re lying.
Bubba: Wrong hole is a matter of opinion.
Dr. Zoe: Okay, whatever you say. Anything else before I go?
Bubba: Christmas trees are like boobs.
Dr. Zoe: Why?
Bubba: Fake ones are nice to look at, but real ones are better.
Dr. Zoe: How old are you?
Bubba: I’m in my thirties, but it’s not much different from my twenties. I just make all my bad decisions before midnight now.
Considering it’s before midnight, I think this is a good time to say goodbye to Bubba.
Hooked Up is what I thought it was—a sleazy dating app that focuses on sex. It’s not where I’ll find my dream guy, and I pray it’s not where Dylan thinks he’ll find his perfect girl.
My finger is hovering over the uninstall button when another message sneaks through.
Double D: Hey, gorgeous.
Dr. Zoe: Double D? Does that mean you have a big rack? Because I’m straight.
I hear laughter on the other side of the wall and my heart sinks. What if Dylan’s on the app, hitting it off with some girl? The girl. The one who is moments away from changing his entire world.
Double D: I’m a guy.
Dr. Zoe: Aren’t you going to impress me with offensive opening lines?
Double D: Nope. Don’t need them.
Dr. Zoe: You’re naturally smooth?
Double D: Consider me Prince Charming.
Dr. Zoe: Then what’s up with the screen name?
Double D: My first and middle name start with a D, that’s all. Promise.
Dr. Zoe: What are you doing tonight? If you say masturbating, I’m deleting this app right now.
Double D: I’m thinking about a special girl. One who gave me something pretty important last night.
Dr. Zoe: Yeah? She sounds nice.
I’m new at dating, but the last message is too much of a coincidence for it not to be him. I slide out of bed, and tiptoe into the hallway, hoping Dylan’s door is open.
He has it cracked just enough that I can lean my head against the wood and see him on the bed. He’s lying in my spot with his phone in his hands.
He’s definitely Double D, but I don’t want to go inside his room yet. I’m too curious what else he has to say. And if I’m being honest, it’s a lot easier to talk over chat than face to face. When I’m close to him, everything changes. I don’t see my best friend anymore. I see a guy who could be so much more, who already is so much more than a friend.
Double D: She’s evil. I’m a little scared of her.
Dr. Zoe: You should be.
Double D: Yeah? She’d be mad if she knew I was sending these messages.
Dr. Zoe: Only if you were flirting. She’d have to do something evil if that was the case.
Double D: Like what?
Dr. Zoe: She’s seen you naked and you’ve had sex. She could think of something.
Double D: I never told you we had sex. She won’t even talk about it.
Dr. Zoe: No? Maybe it was bad. How was it for you?
Double D: Terrible.
Gasping, I cover my mouth with my hand. I’m so mad, I kick the door open with the toe of my slipper and reveal myself. “Dylan David Turner, you better start talking. And why are you messing with me on this stupid app?”
He tosses his phone on the table next to the bed and laughs. “I had to get you in here.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t take you walking away with that look on your face.”
“What look?”
“The one you’re wearing right now. Like you know what you want but you’re too afraid to say it. I just want you to figure out how you feel.”
“How do you think I feel?”
“Confused. Tempted. A little tortured.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I feel the same way.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Zoe. Just talk to me. I hate that you look like you lost your best friend.”
I lick my lips, my eyes slowly roaming his bare chest. He took his shirt off on purpose. To distract me with all his muscles. “Did I?” I ask him.
“Did you what?”
“Did I lose my best friend?”
He blinks twice before opening his mouth and then shutting it again. “Lose me? That’s why you didn’t come home all day?”
I nod and look away because it’s easier than seeing the truth in his eyes. “Dylan, I know I made the first move last night, so this is nobody’s fault but my own. The medicine made me fly, and it took me straight to you. I’m glad it did because I wouldn’t have done it on my own.”
“But you wanted to?”
“Yes, I wanted to. I want there to be more, but I realize sex may have been enough for you—that it’s all you could be looking for.”
“Jesus, Zo,” he whispers, running his hand through his hair. “What do I have to do?”
“Nothing. I don’t need anything in return.”
“How do I get you to see me?”
“I see you, Dylan. Even more when your shirt is off.”
He doesn’t want to, but he laughs and shows off those dimples of his. “Do you want me to put it back on?”
I think about it for a second, mostly because blurting out “no” would make me look incredibly desperate. “You can keep it off,” I whisper as my face reddens.
“Come here, baby.”
Those four little letters pack one powerful punch, and I do as I’m told. “I’m sorry I ran from you today. I’m just trying to remain realistic so I don’t get hurt.”
“Don’t apologize. Just get in here.” He pulls the blankets back far enough for me to slip underneath them.
Before I realize what’s happening, his hands are on my waist and I’m lying on his side of the bed, almost on top of him. He places my head on his pillow and slides closer until we’re nose to nose. “What are we doing, Dylan?”
“I’d call this cuddling. And I’ve never been much of a cuddler.”
“You’re not? But you fell asleep holding me last night. And you always let me lean against you on the couch.”
“It’s different with you, Zo. Always has been. Always will be.”
Nose splint and all, he still looks at me like I’m the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. “I met a few creeps on Hooked Up.”
“Why’d you go on? Doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.”
“Because jealousy is vicious. I’m deleting the app. The guys were disgusting.”
Dylan brushes the hair off my forehead. He’s done it before, but this time, it’s more personal because of how intimate we were last night. “What do you want, Zoe?”
Shrugging, I tell him the truth. “There’s no checklist this time. I couldn’t sum you up on a chart or a list if I tried. Words wouldn’t do you justice.”
“So, I’m what you’re looking for?”
“That’s not a fair question. You’re my best friend, Dylan. Of course you’re what I want in my life.”
“I can say the same about you. But look beyond our friendship. Do you see more for us?”
“I do and that’s why I’m petrified,” I finally admit out loud. “I’m scared I’ll lose you if we break up, but I’m scared I’ll lose you if we don’t try.”
He grabs my leg and hooks it over his hip. Inching forward, we’re as close as two humans can be without going all the way. “I’m not going anywhere, Zoe. You’re where I want to be. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I don’t want us to change.” The emotion of the day all hits me at once and my chest tightens. “If I say yes to you, I’ll never want to leave. I’ll stay right here where it’s comfortable and safe because you’ll do anything to make me happy.”
“And that terrifies you?”
I can tell he doesn’t understand. I don’t either, but I have to make him see it from my point of view. “Because we’re both so young, we could screw it up before we’re old enough for marriage and kids. We’ll end up hating each other and lose our friendship.”
“Just breathe,” he whispers as he rubs his hands up and down my back. “You’re free to fly. I’d never hold you back and I’d never break your heart. You can have anything you want.”
“Including you?”
“You’ve had me for years, Zoe.” Wrapped up in Dylan’s comfort, surrounded by his heart, I’m positive I love my best friend as more than a friend.
“How can you be so sure about us? It’s so risky. What if this is the worst mistake of our lives?” I care about him so much, I’m considering risking it all.
“What if it isn’t?”