Chapter 12

Ava

It was Saturday night, and though I really just wanted to sit at home replaying the meeting with Mason over and over in my head, I knew that wouldn’t be good for me. Blair had called me earlier and told me she wanted to go out that night, and I figured, why not? If nothing else, I would get to spend some much-needed quality time with her away from the books, and she might even have some good advice for me about what had happened. She picked me up at seven, and we went out to the local pub, not wanting to deal with the people down in Manhattan. We walked into the bar and took two seats in the middle that were open.

“I’ll have a vodka cranberry,” she said to the bartender.

“Make that two,” I said, smiling.

“Uh-oh. Someone’s getting wild tonight.”

“I need a drink after everything with Mason.”

“What happened?” Excitement flared in her eyes, and I got an amusing sense that my life had taken on a soap-opera quality for her.

“He booked me on a photo shoot with my agency,” I said. “I was really given no choice because he told my agent he’d take his business elsewhere if he couldn’t have me. So I went, and it was all a ruse to get me there to talk.”

“Did you talk?”

“More like argued and pointed fingers the whole time,” I said. “And I feel terrible for taking that money. I know it came from his father’s company.”

“How much did he pay you?” she asked. “You can always give it back. And if you’ve used it, I can help.”

“Yeah.” I laughed. “He paid me twenty-four thousand dollars.”

She sputtered and nearly choked on her drink. “What? Holy shit.”

I sighed. “I know. I knew how much my parents needed the money and how much I would need it for the upcoming semester. It was like dangling a carrot in front of a starving donkey.”

“Wait. Are you the donkey?”

I groaned. “I sure feel like an ass.”

“You did it for your parents, and really, it’s kind of poetic since the money will also go to the degree that will help you take down his parents,” she said, and laughed. “Sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but your life is so insane sometimes, and you would never guess it by looking at you.”

“I know,” I said, laying my head on the bar. “It was the best-paying modeling gig I have ever gotten, and I didn’t even do any modeling. We met at some older place on Eighth, and when I walked in, he had a table with dinner set up. He acted like I was insane for saying his father did what he did.”

“Do you think he was lying?”

“No,” I said. “I think he had no idea about the whole thing. I think his parents or his father shielded him from it so it wouldn’t be some huge, terrible thing between the two of them.”

“How long did you guys talk?”

“I don’t know. Maybe an hour, maybe less,” I said.

“Were there any sparks between the two of you?”

“No,” I said. “Not unless you mean the kind that could light a bomb. We argued the whole time, blaming each other’s parents for the huge feud. When I had heard enough, I got up, asked to be paid, and then left. To make matters worse, he gave me a check for the whole amount. He paid my agency fees for me so I could have the whole thing. Who has that kind of money just floating around?”

“The son of one of the richest men in the country,” Blair said. “It’s like pocket change for them—seriously. He probably spends that much on a weekend out. You should not feel guilty for taking that money. His father owes you that and a hell of a lot more.”

“Maybe,” I said. “But Mason doesn’t. He’s as innocent in this whole thing as I am.”

“No,” Blair said. “You know that’s bullshit.”

“You’re right,” I said, putting my fists on the bar. “It’s the whole York legacy. It’s like a damn disease.”

I was totally lying to my best friend at every turn. I knew Mason didn’t have any “disease” just because he was his father’s son. If he didn’t know anything about it, he couldn’t have been involved in letting it happen, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Deep down inside there was a part of me that still desired him. Even sitting there across the table from him, mad as hell, part of me had wanted to leap into his arms like we were teenagers again. He was incredibly handsome, and I knew his heart—at least his heart when we were eighteen. People could change for the worse—I had seen it—but I struggled to see it in him.

What I really needed to do was stop sitting there feeling sorry for myself and for Mason and pull myself up by the bootstraps. I had taken the gig. I couldn’t take that back. I had also told him what he needed to know, whether he believed it or not. From there on out, I had to focus on my goal. I needed to push all these sad, pitiful thoughts out of my head. I had to go back to seeing him the way I did before. This was no game, and I needed to remember that. Like it or not, Mason was a York, and the Yorks were my enemies. I had spent ten years trying to forget Mason even existed, trying to forget the relationship we’d had a long time ago. It felt like a lifetime ago, and that was where it needed to stay.

Mason had been right about one thing: There was no reason to sit here and bury myself in the past even though my future was rooted in it. I didn’t want to think about Mason like the handsome, sweet teenager I had given my heart to so many years before. I didn’t want to see the innocence in his eyes like I had when I’d told him about his father the other night. I didn’t want to sink back into habits I had burned away years before.

“Do you ever think things could be different between you and Mason?” Blair asked. “Like you found that lost person you never thought you would see again?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I have to keep being angry with him, hating him and his name. That is what motivates me every day. He could very well be playing me, and if he is, the first thing he would want me to do is forget about how his family ruined my family. I have to stay the course and move forward, driving toward the same goal I’ve always had: to take down the York family and everything they stand for.”

“You’re scary when you’re motivated,” she said, but her chuckle lightened her words.

“Good. They need to be scared.”

“All right, Rambo. Before you go taking down one of the most powerful families in the country, let’s go dance.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the dance floor.

I drank my drinks and let myself fall into the night. We laughed, we got drunk, and we danced our asses off. A copious number of men hit on us every five seconds. It was a really fun evening, and I felt good for about three hours. Then Blair met this guy on the dance floor that I thought looked like a total tool, but she seemed into him. She danced off into the lights with him, and I waved at her, making my way back to the bar for another drink. I sat down and wiped my forehead with a napkin before ordering another round.

“Those were some sweet moves,” said a guy standing next to me.

I laughed. “Thanks. I’m a regular dancing queen.”

“I’m Hank,” he said. “Can I buy you that drink?”

“Sure.”

“This is my first time here.” He pulled a stool next to me and sat. “I don’t usually go out like this, but my buddy pulled me out here.”

“It’s a cool spot, but I don’t come out a lot either.”

Hank was nice, sweet, and had an incredibly charming smile, but I found myself pulling back. It was incredibly frustrating that I couldn’t even talk to another man without Mason coming into my mind. It made me push myself even harder to be interested in this guy. It was like I was being spiteful, but Mason would never know. I sat there talking to Hank for a while, learning about what he did for a living, talking about my school and my plans outside taking down the York family. It was a good conversation, and Hank seemed like a great guy.

“My family is from New Hampshire,” he said. “New York was a really big change for me.”

“I’m sure it was,” I said. “I grew up here.”

“That must have been an interesting childhood, going to school in the city, growing up in this place,” he said. “I don’t know if I would have survived it.”

“Sure you would have,” I said.

“If you’d excuse me for just a minute, I have to use the restroom,” he said.

“Of course,” I said, smiling as he walked away.

When he was out of view, I sat thinking about how that whole conversation was pointless because I couldn’t get Mason out of my brain. I shook my head and grabbed my purse. On my way to find Blair, I ran into her. She was sweating and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the door.

“I’m glad you look like you’re ready to go because that guy I was dancing with turned really weird,” she said. “Oh, wait. What about the guy I saw you talking to?”

“I’m ready to go,” I said, following her outside and onto the sidewalk.

“Was he weird?”

“No. Not at all. He was genuinely nice, was from New Hampshire, had a great smile and wonderful manners.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t feel like company tonight, and I’ve had a really long two days.”

“All right,” she said happily. “Let’s go home.”

I put Blair in a cab and waved as she rode off, having decided to walk back to my apartment. It was only a few blocks away, and I needed the air to clear my thoughts. I knew Blair didn’t believe me, not even in the slightest. She’d known me too long to believe I would walk away from someone who was probably the only nice guy in New York because I was too tired for company. She’d let it go, though, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t want to talk to her about Mason or the confusion that was going on in my brain. I just wanted time to clear my head and move forward.

As I walked, though, I thought about the time Mason and I had gone to Brooklyn to explore when we were teenagers. We’d gotten so lost, but we hadn’t cared. It had gave us an excuse to sneak off somewhere and make out. I climbed the stairs to my apartment complex thinking about that day and laughing to myself. I got into my tiny Brooklyn apartment and flung my shoes. I put on some pj’s and climbed into bed, wrapping up in my blankets. My eyes closed as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I fell into a dream world where Mason was back in my life and everything was how I’d thought it would be when I was eighteen years old.