The new girl is doing better than I thought she would. By the end of the night, Sasha has given her two sections of her own. Her dazzling smile and perky tits seem to be getting her lots of attention. She’s still a little jumpy around me, and I’m not sure if it’s because of what she saw earlier or because she was clearly eye fucking me before she knew I was her boss.
To be fair, I was eye fucking her too. She’s a sexy little vixen, that’s for sure. Allie is curvy, petite, and she seems honest. Nah, scratch that—I know she’s honest because she’s Sasha’s best friend. Sasha doesn’t trust just anybody; her past is almost as fucked up as mine.
“Stop ogling my friend, J,” Sasha hisses as she leans down to grab some clean glasses underneath the bar.
“She’s an employee, Sasha.”
Once she’s back at full height, she flashes me an evil stare. In her heels, she’s about equal to my height, but Sasha doesn’t intimidate me. I stare right back at her.
“She’s been through a lot, J. Please don’t fuck this up for her.”
Sasha hasn’t said much to me about why Allie needed a job. I didn’t ask and never will. The only thing that mattered was that Sasha needed a favor. I’d do anything for her.
“Come on, you know me better than that. Besides, things are going decent with me and Ty right now. I kind of want to see where this goes.”
Sasha huffs and rolls her eyes at me. “You know exactly where it’s going to go: the same place it always does, with you drunk on my couch when you guys call it quits again.” She turns her attention to the customer at the bar, and I turn mine back to Allie.
Ty and I have been dancing the same dance since right after high school. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved, and I know it’s the same for him. Tyler’s family believes being gay—or in our case, bi—is a sin. He says he’ll give them up for me, and maybe he would, but I’d never forgive myself. My family is everything to me, and if things didn’t work out between us, he’d have nothing and it would be all my fault. I love him too much to put him through that. So we keep moving in and out of each other’s lives for convenience, for our sanity, and because it’s too damn hard to let someone go when love has never been the issue.
“I need two gin and tonics, two lemon drops, and three blowjobs.” Allie places her tray on the bar and blushes. I could let it go, but it’s more fun to fuck with her.
“I can help you with the first two, but you’re going to have to ask nicely if you want the third.”
“Grow up, J. I swear, some days you’d never know you’re the owner of this fine establishment,” Sasha grumbles as she makes the shots for Allie.
Sasha puts the blowjobs on Allie’s tray while I finish the rest of her drinks. She picks up her tray and locks her pretty blue eyes on mine.
“Keep leaving your door open and I won’t have to ask. Don’t underestimate me J, I like to watch.”
My cock hardens, and my eyes lock on her ass as she sashays away. Fuck me, this girl is going to be trouble.
Once the bar closes, everyone gathers around for a quick meeting.
“I’ll make this fast, guys.” My crew gives me their undivided attention. “Some of you may have already met her, but let’s all officially welcome our new waitress Allie to the bar.”
Allie’s cheeks flush pink, but she flashes everyone a small smile and waves. I could stand here all night and imagine how her body might flush under different circumstances, but my employees need to get home.
“Most of you know I’ll be taking tomorrow off and the bar is closed on Thanksgiving.” A round of cheers goes up. “Enjoy your time off because my brother’s band will be playing here Friday. It’s going to be a busy night. Remember, this show is going to be televised worldwide. Everything needs to move as seamlessly as possible. They’re supplying the security for the event. We all need to be professional, wear your event outfits, and above all else, no acting like fans.”
A few innocent groans escape the staff. My crew is well-versed on how to act when Bastards and Dangerous are here. “I know, it’s disappointing you can’t fawn over them, but think of the tips you’ll earn. There is already a universal tip to be divided among all of the staff if the event goes off without a hitch. Anyone who steps out of line will forfeit that tip … and possibly their job. Trust me when I say you don’t want to do that. Now, to show you how much faith I have in all of you, Sasha has your Thanksgiving bonuses. See her before you leave tonight. I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving.”
A chorus of Happy Thanksgivings goes around, and they get back to work cleaning up.
“One more thing,” I call out. “If something happens and you can’t make it Friday, you all know how to reach me. Please let me know as early as possible because I will have to bring in temps.”
They resume their work, and Sasha wraps her arm around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Jordan. Someday, someone is going to be lucky to call you theirs.”
“I don’t know about all that, Sash. Treat people like you want to be treated; it’s as simple as that. I know I can be a dick, but not to family, and you all are my family.”
“Uh huh. Like I said, J … Lucky.” She kisses my cheek and releases me.
“Sasha, remember—”
“I know, I know, no fucking in the bar on Friday. Keep my legs crossed, blah blah blah. I can be professional, J. If you’d give me the bar manager position, maybe you’d realize it.”
I’m going to give her the job when the time is right. Sasha has more than earned it, but I’m not quite ready to relinquish control of everything yet. “Actually, I was going to remind you the offer is open for you to come over to the beach house for the holidays. You can bring Allie too. I don’t like you being alone.”
“I love you, but don’t worry about me. I won’t be alone now that Allie is here. We’ve already planned to cook a small dinner for two. Enjoy your time with your family. I know how much you cherish it.”
Most of the staff is gone, and Allie and I are at the bar waiting for Sasha to finish in the restroom so I can lock up and walk them out.
“I think this belongs to you.” Allie passes an envelope with her name on it across the bar to me.
Pushing the envelope back, I reply, “Nope, that says Allie.”
“Jordan, I appreciate you giving me this job, and I’m going to try not to let you down, but I haven’t even finished training. I don’t deserve whatever is in this envelope.”
The no-nonsense expression she’s wearing is kind of sexy. I’ve never had an employee hand back a bonus before. “Maybe you haven’t yet, but you will. If you don’t, then I guess you won’t be receiving a Christmas bonus, will you?”
With narrowed eyes, she slides the envelope back to me. “Then I’ll take the one I earn at that time. I don’t need your charity.”
Sasha walks toward us and takes in the situation with a weary gaze. She’s smart to stand back while I deal with her friend.
“The second you clocked in tonight, you became an employee. I don’t have bullshit stipulations in my bar. Nobody has to prove their worth for sick time, vacation time, or motherfucking healthcare, and you damn sure don’t have to work some arbitrary amount of days to get a bonus. If you don’t want it, Sasha can have two. Be ready to leave in five minutes. I’m going to go lock up my office.”
After passing the envelope to Sasha, I storm off. I love Sasha, but her friend is going to push all of my buttons. Once I’ve set the alarm, we all walk out together. Sasha gets in her car, but Allie stays behind.
“Jordan … I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not one to usually share my business, but Sasha said I should probably give you a heads-up. I just left a controlling fiancé and father. I’m not used to people being nice without expecting something in exchange.” She crosses and uncrosses her feet like she’s nervous.
“The only thing I expect in exchange is for you to do your job. If you can manage that, we’ll be fine.”
I open the door to my house, and Fat Bastard—a big, stray cat I picked up a while back—launches off the couch, circles my legs, and purrs. He’s ornery as fuck, but he’s gotten used to me. Even though I never pictured myself with a cat, I think we understand each other.
He’s got a dry food dispenser, but he knows if he waits until I get home and purrs at my feet long enough, I’ll give in and get a can of the good stuff for him. I’ve always wondered if his old owners abused him. He was scared, timid, and hungry as fuck when he found me. Maybe I understood his fear because of some of the shit I went through as a kid, so I started feeding him. He lurked around on my porch for about a week and then followed me inside one day, and that was how I ended up a cat owner.
My nieces love him, and the feeling is mutual. He might hiss and swat at some of the grownups, but he’s an entirely different cat when there’s a kid around.
While I’m dishing out Fat Bastard’s food, my phone rings, and I hit the speaker phone button.
“Hey, Ty.” A smile stretches across my face as I scoop out the food.
“Hey, J. I’m just checking in to be sure you made it home okay.”
Fat Bastard releases a loud meow as I place his dish on the floor. “Yeah, I’m here I’m—”
“Feeding your mean cat. I can hear him.”
I carry the phone over to the couch so I can take off my boots. “He’s not mean.”
He snorts. “Keep telling yourself that,” Tyler says with a yawn.
“Ty, you don’t have to stay up and call me each night. You have to go to work in a few hours. I’m a grown man and can see myself home safely.”
“I couldn’t sleep. We need to talk about us and where we’re going with this relationship.”
Here we go again.
I lean back on the couch and exhale. “Do we have to define it? Can’t we just be in the moment for a while?”
He’s silent for a long beat before answering. “Nothing is ever going to change, is it? I’m so fucking in love with you. I was kneeling at your feet a few hours ago and …”
“Hang on. Don’t even say you blew me because you love me. We both know better than that. Also, there’s something you should know. My new waitress saw you going down on me.”
“Shit,” he hisses.
“Exactly. Look, Tyler, I can’t commit to anything more than a casual fling. If we continue down this road, you can’t keep popping up at the bar to mess around.”
“I’m sorry.” His tone is softer, sadder even. “I know you don’t like your personal life mixing with your business. Maybe we need to take a break through the holidays. I know how much this time of year fucks with you. We can revisit this discussion after New Year’s.”
Sadness wraps around me. As if he senses my shift in mood, Fat Bastard jumps onto my lap. “Yeah, maybe we can. You’re still welcome to come by Friday for the concert.”
Tyler sighs. “I’ll think about it.”
“Please do, and if you don’t come, be happy, Ty. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“Hey, J,” Tyler calls out before I end the call. “I do love you, and even though you’ve never said the words, I know you love me too. If you need anything, call. I’m not giving up. I’m just giving you space.”
There are so many things I want to say to him, but none of those things come out of my mouth. “Thanks, Ty. Happy holidays.”
After hanging up, I make my way to my bed and strip down to my boxers. The cat has already taken his spot at the foot of the bed. I wish everything with Tyler wasn’t so complicated. He’s the closest thing to a relationship I’ve ever had. I do love him, but something has always held me back from telling him.
I want more for him than someone as fucked up as I am. I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life with someone who thrashes around in bed with never-ending nightmares. He deserves to be with someone he can be proud to take home to his family and who will be welcomed by them with open arms. Losing my family literally almost killed me, and knowing Ty would lose his because he loves me just doesn’t seem worth it. There has to be someone out there who is made for him—someone better than me.