epilogue

 

I’m so lonely without her.

I stare at the bed we shared just five months ago then shift my gaze out the window. I didn’t think I’d be back here so soon, staying in the same room at my brother’s house I stayed in last year for half the year.

It’s strange being back here after all that’s happened, and it’s even stranger to be here without Vivian.

I’m not crying.

At least that’s what I tell myself as I thumb away the moisture by my eyes and watch mesmerized as the water rolls in and out of the shore. I’m overcome again with a tornado of unfamiliar emotions.

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. I wipe both my eyes and draw in a deep, unsteady breath. “Come in.”

Reese’s eyes soften when they fall upon me and her lips tip up in a small smile. “Are you doing okay in here?”

I nod. “Fine.”

“Don’t you look dapper,” she says.

“And don’t you look beautiful.”

She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head as if to tell me to stop with the compliments. “I have something to tell you.”

My brows draw down fearfully. “What?”

“She said to tell you she’s not coming.”

My heart stops and then falls down into my stomach. “What?”

She hands me an envelope then winks at me with a twinkle in her eye before she leaves the room and closes the door behind her. I rush to open the envelope and find Vivian’s familiar, neat handwriting.

Two pieces of paper are folded inside, and one says Read First while the other says Read Second. I open the first one as instructed.

 

To my Future Husband (future as in about fifteen minutes),

I’m not coming right now, but I hope to be later tonight, if you know what I mean. Insert wink emoji here. ;)

 

I stop reading long enough to hold a hand over my heart. She gave me a goddamn heart attack, telling me she wasn’t coming to our own wedding today. I can’t believe how quickly we pulled this off, but neither of us wanted to wait. We were engaged five months ago on the couch in this very house. We’ve since moved back to Vegas, worked together to fix FDB’s financial issues, and are prospering both personally and in our careers. We chose today as our wedding day because exactly one year ago today, she stormed into my office claiming she was my boss. Who knew she’d actually end up as the boss of my entire life?

I look back down at her note.

 

Happy Wedding Day, Brian.

I’m sure my prank didn’t work because you better know by now I’m not going anywhere. I can’t wait to pledge my love to you today in front of everyone we love as we stand with our feet on the sand here in Malibu behind your brother’s house, where so many important moments happened in our relationship...including this one.

I have three little vows I want to make to you, just you, and I’d love if you could send Mark, Beck, or Jason back to my wing of the house to let me know you agree to them, too.

1. I vow to always tell the truth. The whole truth. What started as a lie has become the most important truth in my life.

2. I vow to take care of you, to love you, to respect you, and to work dutifully as your teammate and partner for the rest of our lives on this Earth.

3. I vow to love and care for the babies we make out of the love we share. Which reminds me...go ahead and read the other note. It has been so hard keeping this secret from you but I wanted to surprise you today.

I love you, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.

Love,

Viv

 

I pull out the other piece of paper inside the envelope and open it. It takes me a second to realize exactly what I’m looking at. At first, it simply looks like a bunch of wavy black lines, but I saw one of these when Reese was pregnant with Ashton and another now that she’s pregnant with baby number two. I saw Lizzie’s when she was pregnant with Grace.

I read the information across the top.

Davenport, Vivian.

Tears form in my eyes again as I read the name of the woman I’m about to marry. She’s pregnant.

I’m going to be a father.

Oh my God.

She’s pregnant and I’m going to be a father.

GA: 6w4d.

Reese explained it to me once. GA means gestational age. Vivian is six weeks, four days along.

In less than eight months, I’m going to be a father. We’re going to have a baby.

Holy shit, we’re going to have a baby.

I want to break out the cigars. I want to cry all the happiest tears I can cry. I want to run over to her wing of the house and pull her into my arms to tell her how much I love her and how I can’t wait to have a baby with her.

But I can’t. I’m not allowed to see her until she appears on the beach and walks down the makeshift aisle toward me and toward our future together.

I open my door. “Mark!” I yell out.

My best man, the best man I know, saunters down the hallway in his tuxedo toward me, holding his almost one-year-old daughter in his arms. She’s all white lace and frills as the flower girl, and Reese, one of Viv’s bridesmaids, will be accompanying her down the aisle since she’s just starting to master the art of walking.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I need some paper and a pen.”

“On it,” he says. He returns a minute later without the baby and hands me what I requested.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

I open my mouth to tell him, but I don’t know if we’re telling people yet. I guess it’s a little secret between husband and wife for the time being.

Wife.

She’s going to be my wife. She’s going to be a mother. My heart is full as I think about her holding a baby in her arms. Our baby.

I scribble a note back to her. I’m careful to avoid mentioning anything specific in case nosy eyes glance at it as it makes its way to her.

Yes to all of it. I couldn’t be happier. I love you so much.

I hand the note to my brother, and he takes it over to her.

I tuck her note into my suitcase and the ultrasound picture into the pocket inside my tuxedo jacket, and then my other groomsmen, Becker and Jason, interrupt my solitude with tumblers of whiskey. We toast to the future, and then the wedding planner Vivian hired comes to get me.

We head outside, take a few photos, and I escort my mother and father to their seats in the second row since the first row is for the bridal party. I take my place under the gorgeous arch of roses Vivian designed, the waves lapping the shore just feet away from us. I glance through the small crowd gathered in white chairs on the beach. It’s full of the familiar faces of people here to show us their love and support on the day we pledge our love to one another.

The processional music starts, and our siblings and friends make their way down the aisle to stand on either side of me. The music stops and pauses, and my heart stops and pauses along with it.

And then, like a dream, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen appears from out of nowhere, her arm tucked into her father’s, who beams with pride.

A new song begins, and my bride makes her way down the aisle toward me. I glance at her stomach, covered by the bouquet she holds there. A tiny new life grows there, a life we created together. I look up at her face and smile. She’s perfect every day, but today she’s extraordinary.

She said it best in her note to me earlier today.

What started as a lie has become the most important truth of my life, and I can’t wait to live my truth with the woman I love and the children I’ll adore every day for the rest of our lives.