In September, Luca and Libby set off for Italy, their suitcases stuffed to the brim. A large amount of baby paraphernalia was crammed into Libby’s hand luggage to help them survive the journey. They arrived in Naples in good time, and were greeted at the airport by Luca’s parents, Mario and Chiara, who were waiting with open arms to embrace their son, his fiancé and their baby granddaughter.
‘Oh my goodness, she’s so beautiful!’ cried Chiara. ‘More beautiful than in any of the photos.’ She hugged Libby and looked at her ring. ‘I can’t believe we haven’t seen you all for so long. Congratulations; so many congratulations! The engagement, the baby – we have so much to celebrate!’
‘Hello little granddaughter!’ said Mario, peering at Isabella’s sleeping face, content in her pram. ‘And Libby, it’s fantastic to see you too. We’re so happy to have you!’
‘We’ve got your bedroom ready. We’ve borrowed a cot from Antonia and it’s all set up waiting for you,’ said Chiara as she led them out to the car.
‘That’s so kind, Mamma, thank you,’ said Luca.
‘I’m so excited to get back to Positano,’ said Libby. ‘I have missed it all so much. London just doesn’t compare—’
‘You should move back,’ announced Mario, getting a shove from Chiara with a pointy elbow. ‘Sorry, sorry! I am under strict instructions not to put any pressure on you…’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever been away this long,’ said Luca. He seemed so happy to be back on home turf; it was clear just how much he had missed it, something Libby was only too aware of.
They piled into Mario’s car and set off along the coast, Izzy sleeping peacefully beside Libby. She had cried on and off for most of the flight, much to the irritation of their fellow passengers. Libby had been worried that the change in air pressure was hurting her ears, but she seemed to be fine now, so any discomfort must have only been temporary. Soon they were whizzing along the open roads, drinking in the scenery and chatting away, catching up on all of each other’s news. It felt amazing to be back. After about an hour they arrived at Mario and Chiara’s house. It was cool and spacious, with wonderful views overlooking the sea. They both ran to the balcony and gulped in huge lungfuls of sea air, feasting their eyes on the jewel-bright sparkling water, the pastel houses and the familiar backdrop of coastline that stretched as far as the eye could see. Luca hadn’t looked so happy all year… he whooped loudly and kissed Libby on the cheek, spinning her around in delight.
After a delicious lunch of cold meats, mozzarella and salad, Luca strapped Izzy to his back and they set off for the beach. As soon as they got down to the sea front, Luca wasted no time getting straight into the water. After he had had a good swim, they swapped over. Libby swam out into the deep water and turned back to look at the beach. She watched Luca with Izzy. He was so sweet with her. He bounced her on his lap, rubbed sun cream into her pale white skin and made sure she had enough shade, chatting away to her all the time. Later Chiara and Mario joined them. Mario’s hip was suffering after so many years of climbing up and down Positano’s steep steps; he could no longer get down to the beach that way without a great deal of pain, so Chiara and he took the bus to the centre instead and walked from there. The five of them spent a happy afternoon on the beach. Chiara and Mario were just as besotted with their granddaughter as their son was, and Libby had the luxury of a nap in the sun with so many willing babysitters to entertain her daughter.
The rest of Luca’s family were all meeting them that evening for dinner, as well as a few of his closest friends. Antonia and her husband Matteo were hosting the party because they had the biggest terrace and enough space to accommodate the whole group. Before arriving at Antonia’s, Luca and Libby dropped into La Casetta to see Floriana and Tonio and introduce them to Isabella. ‘It’s so good to see you!’ said Floriana, having given both Luca and Libby enormous hugs. ‘And this must be little Isabella?’
‘Yes it is,’ said Libby, unclipping her from the pram and passing her over to Floriana for a cuddle.
‘She is divine!’ Floriana cooed over the baby as they were joined by Giulia and Maria, both of whom greeted them warmly. It seemed Giulia had finally accepted Luca and Libby as a couple; perhaps the baby and engagement had convinced her that Luca wasn’t about to mess Libby around. Or maybe she had just moved on from whatever residual feelings she might have been harbouring. She seemed genuinely happy for them, and both Giulia and Maria were absolutely sweet with Isabella. Tonio cracked open a bottle of prosecco to toast the engagement and the baby.
‘To our first La Casetta marriage,’ he said, his blue eyes crinkling with happiness.
‘To Isabella,’ added Floriana.
‘She is beautiful,’ said Maria, as she bounced Izzy up and down on her hip. ‘Congratulations guys!’
It felt strange to be back at La Casetta after so long. Libby remembered the first time she had laid eyes on Luca on her very first day there. She would never have guessed she would end up marrying him. She remembered sitting in the bathroom next to her little bedroom doing the pregnancy test. Looking at Isabella now, it was so strange to think of how it all began. ‘It’s so weird to think how much we owe to this place,’ she said to Luca as they closed the yellow front door behind them.
‘Just imagine – if you had never taken the job here, we would never have even met!’ Luca kissed her. ‘Thank god you came into my life. Otherwise we would never have had you, would we?’ he said to Izzy, bending down and kissing her cheek as she sat in her pram looking quizzically up at him.
Luca pushed her up the hill to the main road and they continued walking further up the steep slope for a good twenty minutes or so, until they reached the steps that led down to Antonia and Matteo’s. Luca carefully carried the pram down the precariously steep steps. Not for the first time, Libby realised what a nightmare it would be living in Positano with a baby.
There was a huge cheer as they opened the door and came inside the house. All of the family were gathered together, a noisy gaggle of a party that appeared to be in full swing already, with the prosecco and beer flowing. Izzy was swept into a tide of hugs and passed from one aunty or uncle to another. Libby left them to it, always keeping half a watchful eye on her daughter to make sure she was all right.
‘Darling Libby, I have missed you so much,’ said Nicola. ‘This is Francesco,’ she introduced Libby to her new boyfriend, who seemed lovely and who also happened to be extremely good-looking. This was unsurprising considering how beautiful Nicola was. They made a very striking couple indeed. Luca came over to introduce himself to Francesco and the girls left them to chat. ‘No doubt Luca wants to give him a good grilling,’ laughed Libby.
‘I’m sure he’ll want to make sure he is up to his exacting standards!’ agreed Nicola. She caught Libby up on all the local gossip. Antonia and Giovanna soon came bustling over to join the conversation, keen not to miss out on a moment of their future sister-in-law’s company.
They all enjoyed a culinary feast, courtesy of Matteo, who was a chef at a local restaurant. They had so many courses: starters, pasta, meat and pudding, that by the end Libby thought she might explode. Isabella had been well and truly worn out by all the new faces passing her around as though in a game of pass the parcel. She had gone to sleep without protest in Antonia’s spare room.
As they ate, Libby watched Luca from the opposite side of the table. Seeing him here made her realise that he just wasn’t quite himself in London. This version of Luca, so comfortable in his own skin and so relaxed in the company of his family and oldest friends, was the true Luca, the Luca that she had fallen in love with. It saddened her that he still wasn’t quite settled in the UK. There was something about being back home that suited him immensely. There was a new sparkle to his eyes, a spring in his step. He didn’t complain that often but it was obvious to her now just how much he missed being here. She vowed to herself that she would make more effort to come over. It was unfair on him to be away for too long. Selfishly she was worried that London would seem all the worse to Luca now that he had been reminded of just what he was missing. She hoped he wouldn’t struggle when they got home, especially now winter would be kicking in.
Libby was determined that they would enjoy their holiday to the hilt, and they certainly did, packing in as much as they could in the time that they had. They took Izzy to the beach every day; they ate long lunches and dinners at friends’ houses and in their favourite local restaurants; they went out on the boat several times with Gian Matteo, who was just as besotted by Izzy as the rest of Luca’s family. They gorged themselves on gelato, pasta and pizza, getting their fix of authentic Italian food while they had the chance, and they drank plenty of delicious local wines and prosecco. It was a blissful week – fun but also somewhat exhausting due to all the socialising with so many friends. A week later, they returned to London, nicely bronzed from the sun and a good few pounds heavier.
As the autumn progressed, Luca did seem a little down, as Libby had suspected he might. She could understand why. He seemed to retreat inside himself somewhat, withdrawing from her and frequently seeming lost in his thoughts. Libby had no idea what to do. She tried to get him to talk to her but it didn’t seem to help. She hoped that in time he would feel as happy in London as he did in Positano, but she had a sneaking suspicion that they would never quite match up in his eyes. Positano was one of the most beautiful places in the world; she couldn’t blame him for missing it. She missed it like crazy herself and she had only lived there for a few months. For Luca it was well and truly home.
That December they flew back to Italy for the run-up to Christmas as well as Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. They then flew back home to Kent on Boxing Day to spend the rest of the festive period with Miriam, John and Helen. Henry was with his own family and Helen seemed lonely and a little lost without him. Having Isabella around did a lot to lift her spirits. Luca found it very hard to tear himself away from his family to board the flight back home. He would clearly rather have stayed in Positano, but Libby had insisted that Miriam should be allowed to share in some of Izzy’s first Christmas too.
‘Did you know that John’s sister-in-law lives in your area of Italy, Luca?’ Miriam asked as they all sat enjoying a feast of cold meats and jacket potatoes on Boxing Day.
‘Really?’ asked Luca. ‘Whereabouts?’
‘What a coincidence!’ said Libby.
‘She lives in a small village called Tremento. It’s about an hour’s drive west from Amalfi, up in the hills,’ explained John. ‘About twenty minutes to the nearest beach… I’ve forgotten the name.’
‘I’ve heard of Tremento,’ said Luca. ‘I bet it’s very beautiful up there.’
‘Have you been to visit?’ asked Helen.
‘Not for quite a few years,’ said John. ‘When Julie became sick, we stopped travelling abroad. But we did visit Lizzy a couple of times over the years. She is married to an Italian chap called Giuseppe. She runs a bed and breakfast.’
‘How wonderful!’ said Libby. Her mind immediately darted to her own dormant but ever-present plans to run her own bed and breakfast one day. Maybe she could open one in Italy? That was an idea that hadn’t occurred to her before. Perhaps she should bite the bullet and leave law completely, move back to Positano with Luca and start a business. That way maybe they could both be happy. She wanted so badly for him to be his sparkling, usual self, and she knew things weren’t quite right between them in London.
‘So how was Positano?’ asked Helen.
‘It’s almost unrecognisable at this time of year,’ said Libby. ‘The waves are pretty rough; they have dismantled all the beach restaurants for the winter.’
‘Do they do that every year?’ asked Miriam.
‘Yes, they have to rebuild them for the start of each season, it’s exhausting!’ explained Luca.
‘I’ll bet!’ said John.
‘It’s quite beautiful, though; the clouds hang low over the hills above and the whole place has more of a mystical feel to it.’
‘I prefer the summer,’ said Luca. ‘But it was great to be home and to see all my family.’
‘You must miss them terribly,’ said Miriam.
‘It was my first Catholic mass on Christmas Day,’ said Libby, trying to change the subject. ‘I didn’t understand a word!’
‘They all adore Izzy, of course,’ continued Luca.
‘She is looking impossibly sweet at the moment,’ said Miriam. ‘I know I am biased, but I do think she is the most gorgeous little girl I’ve ever seen.’
‘Well I’m not biased,’ said John. ‘She really is the most beautiful little thing!’
Luca and Libby spent a happy few days making the most of having such willing babysitters on hand to go for walks together, watch movies and generally relax. She was glad of the opportunity to spend time with him. She wanted more than anything for him to be happy and she felt like some of the distance that had built up between them since their holiday in September was beginning to break down. It was a much-needed break for them both as they gathered strength for the new year to come.
As January dawned, Libby suddenly began to dread the approaching end of her maternity leave. ‘I can’t believe I’m going back to work at the end of the month,’ she said to Luca. She just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Izzy.
‘Nine months have gone by very quickly, haven’t they?’ said Luca. ‘We need to sort out what we’re going to do with Izzy once and for all.’ They had lined up both a nursery and a child-minder who lived locally as possible childcare solutions, but they had yet to decide which option they would choose.
‘I think we should go with the child-minder,’ Libby said. She had been weighing up both options for quite some time. ‘Nurseries won’t accept babies if they have even the slightest sniffle, and I can’t be off work every time she has a cold.’
‘I’m happy with that. I can’t just drop everything either. But I do think we need to pay for the child-minder for four days a week. I can do the fifth day of childcare, but I need at least one of my days off from Sicaro to work on my freelance stuff.’
‘OK, so if we put her in care from Monday to Thursday, are you happy with that? It needs to be the same days every week.’
‘Yes, that sounds perfect. Shall I phone the child-minder?’ offered Luca.
‘No, don’t worry, I’ll do it. It’s going to break my heart leaving her,’ she said miserably.
‘I’m sure you’ll get used to it. It’ll be like ripping off a plaster. You’ve just got to take the plunge, and then when you’re back in the flow of working it will be fine.’
‘I don’t even enjoy my work, though. At least if I was passionate about what I was doing, it would seem more worthwhile. How am I supposed to leave Izzy, the one person in the world that I love more than life itself, to sit in an office staring at a computer for eight and a half hours a day?’ The only reason she was determined to stick at her law conversion was to provide for Izzy’s future. The money was so good she knew it was the responsible thing to do. As much as she would love to start her own bed and breakfast, to move to the countryside or back to Positano, she would never be able to reach anything like the earning potential she would by staying in law. She knew she should give Digby and Edwards her best shot. If she didn’t get an offer from them at the end of the training contract, then she would have to rethink. She knew she owed it to Izzy, and to herself after all the hard work she had put in so far, to give it one final shot.
She had negotiated her hours to start at nine and leave at five thirty so that she could be home with Izzy by quarter past six for her bath and bedtime. She was determined to stick to her guns about her leaving time. There was no way she was willing to miss out on Izzy’s bedtime routine; it was her favourite time of day and in her mind it was completely non-negotiable.
Soon enough, Libby’s first day back at work dawned with an early alarm call. She left the house, having handed Izzy over to the child-minder with a thousand last-minute tips and instructions, tears shining in her eyes. It was one of the strangest days of her life. She had dressed in a smart navy dress and heels, the first pair of heels she had worn in as long as she could remember. She arrived at Digby and Edwards at nine o’clock on the dot, walking through the huge swivelling doors and breathing in the familiar smells of wood polish and coffee. Nervously she had made her way to the Contentious Trusts and Successions Department. She had a meeting first thing with Derek, her supervisor, who welcomed her back and explained that she would be completing the remaining five months of her seat in the company of the new round of first-year trainees. She met the two trainees who would be sharing her placement, Imogen and Rajid, both of whom had already settled in well to their new roles in the department.
Strangely, against all expectations, she actually quite enjoyed being out of the house and having a purpose other than childcare, as rewarding as that was. It was refreshing to use her brain and engage in adult conversation for such large parts of the day. The work itself seemed dull to her, but it felt good to be back in a buzzing office environment.
As spring flew by, Libby was happier than she had thought she would be to be back at work. Izzy seemed to adore Zoe, her child-minder, which certainly helped. It was a wonderful relief having such a reliable and kind person to leave her daughter with. Libby had liked her instantly. She had come highly recommended from a local family, who had employed her for both of their young children over the last five years, sadly letting her go now that they were both old enough for primary school. Libby felt happy with the arrangements that they had made and soon settled into her new routine, relishing the precious evenings and weekends that she spent with her daughter. Both Luca and Libby were so busy at work that they hardly seemed to see each other. He would sometimes get back late from client meetings as apparently Sicaro was keen for him to win new business; this – coupled with his football matches and other social engagements with Lorenzo at the weekends – meant that they weren’t spending nearly as much time together. During the weekdays, when Libby had got through the bedtime routine, she often collapsed into bed, desperate for an early night after a long day at work. Juggling work, relationships and motherhood wasn’t easy, but she felt as though she was trying her best. She felt proud of herself, for once, for persevering when the going was tough.